Jinjer 38: Bun in the Oven

[watchdog]

3 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

you must have been under a rock. Jill wears Jeans too and has a nose ring. 

Well, I pretty much HAVE been under a rock for some time now.  LOL.  I did notice Jill's nose ring & was kind of surprised (wasn't sure it was an actual piercing or just a stick-on stud), but I had no idea she has been wearing jeans, too.  Wow.  In that photo of Jinger wearing jeans, she's holding her knees together in that awkward "I've only worn skirts all my life" way, as if she's not yet comfortable w/ the idea & is still trying to figure out where everything... goes.  I hope she gets VERY used to it!  I wonder what JB & M think of their daughters' rebelliousness.  They're way past the blanket training stage, and the prayer closet is a ways too far to be an option.  Jeremy & Derick must be on board w/ it or else their helpmeets wouldn't do it.  Good for them!  Baby steps, baby steps!

[SapphireSlytherin]

@watchdog - I think she's holding her knees like that to keep herself securely perched on the stool.

My mother always said someone was "In the Family Way" when they were pregnant.

Funny story (at my expense) about not knowing meanings of words:

When I was four -- and I remember this vividly -- we, along with a variety of cousins/aunts/uncles, were visiting my great grandparents. Nth cousin/Y-times removed was there with his fiancée. They were sitting on the couch, holding hands, and talking with other family members. My mom had told me they were getting married, and must have used the word "engaged," which I'd probably never heard before so... Someone in the room asked me if I knew the secret John and Mary had. And I said - Yes! Mary's PREGNANT!!!!

The room went dead silent. John blushed to the roots of his hair. Mary looked shell-shocked. John's mother gasped. My grandmother's face went white. EVERYONE looked at John and Mary. They said NOTHING. My grandmother rounded on me and snarled:  "Why would you say that???" 

Then my mother asked me - in front of everyone - "SapphireSlytherin, what does pregnant mean?" I said, "It means they're getting married." There was a huge sigh of relief. 

They had a 7-pound baby boy five months after they got married.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Jinger has to feel good about not carrying as heavy as her sisters did at this point in her pregnancy. I would, anyways. 

[VelociRapture]

12 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Yes. Especially gossip rags and headlines that write it as if it is an accessory that can be removed--like "celebrity takes her baby bump to...". Because it's a field trip for her belly which she can leave at home any time she wants. 

It is an annoying term in that context, but I did affectionately refer to mine as a bump when I was pregnant. I didn’t really know how else to refer to it because it felt and looked so different than what I was used to. Bump seemed to be a relatively harmless term, so I kind of just went with it.

[SilverBeach]

No bump for me, but maybe that's a generational thing. We didn't really refer to our growing middle areas.

I don't give a rats ass how folks refer to their significant others or family members, thats kind of BEC to me.

Knocked up is used pejoratively to refer to unwedded pregnancies, which is why I don't care for it. I'm black and didn't know about the slavery association but yes owner rape was common as were the resultant offspring that was prized as free labor. Slave status followed the mother.

[PainfullyAware]

I don't like 'we're pregnant' because the partner is really not dealing with 99% of the pregnancy realities. 'We're expecting' or 'Having a baby' seems perfectly suited to the situation imo. 

In the UK I heard 'I fell pregnant' not got pregnant. Not sure about why the difference although fell always sounded like 'oops, i tripped and fell into pregnancy' to my ears

Knocked up felt pejorative to me too- I didn't know the history though. Awful! 

'Preggers' is one I hear a lot. It's silly but innocuous- right? 

[SilverBeach]

Yep, preggers is silly and innocuous to me. 

[Nargus]

I call my bump a bump because I don't know what else to call it. My distended abdomen? I mean, my stomach usually is pretty flat, so it's been kind of interesting to not be able to squeeze behind a chair to grab something off a counter, or to bend over to feed the cats. 

I hate 'we're pregnant' but 'we're expecting' makes sense. I'm pregnant.  My husband is not.  However we are expecting a baby.  

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, PainfullyAware said:

I don't like 'we're pregnant' because the partner is really not dealing with 99% of the pregnancy realities. 'We're expecting' or 'Having a baby' seems perfectly suited to the situation imo. 

In the UK I heard 'I fell pregnant' not got pregnant. Not sure about why the difference although fell always sounded like 'oops, i tripped and fell into pregnancy' to my ears

Knocked up felt pejorative to me too- I didn't know the history though. Awful! 

'Preggers' is one I hear a lot. It's silly but innocuous- right? 

I’m not from the UK, but my understanding is that “fell pregnant” means an unplanned pregnancy.

[Jellybean]

2 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I’m not from the UK, but my understanding is that “fell pregnant” means an unplanned pregnancy.

I’ve heard it used for planned pregnancies too, pretty much as a direct replacement for ‘got pregnant’ or ‘became pregnant’ though I agree it would make sense for it to be used as you suggested.

@SilverBeach I didn’t realise ‘knocked up’ was for unmarried women only (or started that way, at least). That makes it even less appealing. I don’t think I’d use it in any context, but knowing that makes me want to say something if other people use it. 

There isn’t any difference between children born to married parents, unmarried parents, a single parent, or parents in a civil partnership. I don’t think we should treat their parents any differently either, when they’re expecting the baby, or at any other time. There’s no need and I don’t think it reflects well on us as individuals, or as a society, to make it an issue or a point of difference/division.

[Four is Enough]

And what about the ones who "catch" pregnant?

[Kangaroo]

"Fell pregnant" goes really well with the phrase "Up the Duff"

 

 

[Satan'sFortress]

On 3/30/2018 at 8:44 AM, Meggo said:

I remember when my boy was really new - I had to take him with me to basically - the DMV to get a health card or something. It was in a small town - and I chose it specifically because there were never more than 4 people in there (including the 2 who worked there). Anyway - as I was walking out - a gentleman held the door for me and said "WOW! That baby is fresh out of the wrapper!" 

 

And 5 years later - I still don't know how I feel about that. 

I think that is cute--especially from an old man.  We had one of the Fortresses out when they were newborn and an older man exclaimed "wow--that's a new model!"  I liked that one, too.   

[Daisy0322]

Oooo when I was pregnant if someone said their pregnant or anything insinuating that my husband also had horrible morning sickness, pregnancy insomnia, had be in bed rest, etc I turned into a hormonal hurricane of fury.

[Rachel333]

What was the weird way Michelle talked about getting pregnant? Wasn't it something like "catch a baby?"

[MoonFace]

On 3/30/2018 at 1:20 PM, Imaginary_Wonderland said:

I wonder if the term 'knocked up' has anything to do with knocking shops. I really hate the term 'preggers'  or 'preggo' or 'up the duff'. Bun in the oven seems almost nice compared to them. I think it is a great topic name though considering the thread drift on ovens.

I still shudder with the old term "In the family way'.   

[nickelodeon]

"Fell pregnant" makes it sound super dramatic, like something the heroine of an 18th century novel would do after being wed to a reformed rake and having her fortune squandered by his gambling.

[tabitha2]

“Eating for Two” is nice and inoffensive  as is “With Child”. In Some  British Period drama set in the 18th century I watched they used the term “Breeding”  as in “I am Breeding again” . 

 

[Jellybean]

Just now, tabitha2 said:

“Eating for Two” is nice and inoffensive  as is “With Child”. In Some  British Period drama set in the 18th century I watched they used the term “Breeding”  as in “I am Breeding again” . 

 

Just as a very minor thing, neither of those work very well for multiples.

Eating for two can be used in quite a hurtful way, suggesting that someone is overeating if they’re not actually pregnant. I dislike it for that reason as a knee-jerk reaction, but I also think it’s time that whole concept is retired. The more it’s used, the more likely it is that people will think that they actually do need to eat for two, when that’s not at all the case. It will vary a bit, but it’s recommended that most women need no additional calories in the first trimester, about 350kcal a day in the second, and about 450kcal in the third.

[Rachel333]

4 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

Just as a very minor thing, neither of those work very well for multiples.

Eating for two can be used in quite a hurtful way, suggesting that someone is overeating if they’re not actually pregnant. I dislike it for that reason as a knee-jerk reaction, but I also think it’s time that whole concept is retired. The more it’s used, the more likely it is that people will think that they actually do need to eat for two, when that’s not at all the case. It will vary a bit, but it’s recommended that most women need no additional calories in the first trimester, about 350kcal a day in the second, and about 450kcal in the third.

I mean, that's still eating for two, isn't it? It's just that the second doesn't actually need much to eat!

But yeah, it's definitely not the same as eating for two adults.

[tabitha2]

Well yes. If you said that to a non pregnant person It would  be hurtful. But an obviously pregnant woman is eating for herself and another tiny being at the same time.I guess if she was was having multiples it would be for herself and X number  the point is she should be getting enough nutrition to keep all concerned   Healthy. 

[Jellybean]

That’s a fair point @Rachel333, that a woman would still be eating for two (or more) people, even if that doesn’t actually require them to take in any additional calories.

I still think it’s a harmful concept. It’s easy to make assumptions about ‘eating for two’ and much harder to educate people about what it actually means. Gaining a lot of extra weight during pregnancy carries its own risks, and can be upsetting for a woman with weight struggles, especially if they don’t understand why they gained so much extra weight when other pregnant women gain much less. I’m not saying it’s the only reason some people put on more weight than others during pregnancy, but it’s certainly one.

Having known people with eating disorders who were terrified of pregnancy and the effects on their bodies, I think referring to their pregnancy as ‘eating for two’ (or hearing it called that by all and sundry) would have made things even more difficult. 

“Are you eating for two?” as a way to ask if someone is pregnant is what I meant by it being hurtful if someone isn’t pregnant. Sorry I wasnt clear about that.

It’s not a big deal, though. It’s never going to become the only term used, or even the dominant one, and I’m not going to start using it myself, just as I won’t use most of these euphemisms for one reason or another. Most euphemisms are used with good intent, and I do always try to remember that (even if it doesn’t seem like it right now!)

[louisa05]

4 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Oooo when I was pregnant if someone said their pregnant or anything insinuating that my husband also had horrible morning sickness, pregnancy insomnia, had be in bed rest, etc I turned into a hormonal hurricane of fury.

Yep. Never been pregnant, but every time I hear "we're pregnant" or "they're pregnant", I think the same way. Until the father has morning sickness, swollen ankles, general exhaustion and has to go through labor--that man is not pregnant. She's pregnant. They are having a baby. 

[just_ordinary]

7 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

I don't like 'we're pregnant' because the partner is really not dealing with 99% of the pregnancy realities. 'We're expecting' or 'Having a baby' seems perfectly suited to the situation imo. 

[...]

'Preggers' is one I hear a lot. It's silly but innocuous- right? 

While I don’t like “we are pegnant“ because it is just wrong my husband is dealing very much with more than 50% of the pregnancy realities. While I experience the physical changes and problems he experiences it by observation, me telling him/complaining about it in detail and the fact that he is doing whatever he can to make me feel better. He did everything around our home for four months straight. I just couldn’t and he didn’t even question it once. He gives me massages whenever something hurts. He is super calm and understanding to my worries and crazy moments. He builds me up when I am scared we lose another baby even though I know he is scared too. This isn’t really fun for him either and I am not only lucky that I found this kind of man I am also thankful for all he does. His effort makes me feel as this pregnancy is teamwork and I am not alone with my problems/symptoms even if he doesn’t experience it the same way as I do.

The preggers/preggo one is something I don’t really get. But that maybe comes down to English not being my first language. To me on a superficial level it initially sounds like something lower classes would use- but I believe that  is not the case?

[melon]

15 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Yep. Never been pregnant, but every time I hear "we're pregnant" or "they're pregnant", I think the same way. Until the father has morning sickness, swollen ankles, general exhaustion and has to go through labor--that man is not pregnant. She's pregnant. They are having a baby. 

You're right,but actually a man can have a sympathetic pregnancy..lol.Couvade Syndrome.Everything from cravings,weight gain,nausea,aches and pains,but no baby for him.