Josiah Duggar Part 6: Now Officially Engaged!

[Crazy Enough to Join]

Just for perspective, a significant portion of the female population throughout the history of the world and even into modern times in other countries has had their first sexual experience on their wedding night. Obviously the human race has continued. It's not as impossible as some posters are making it out to be.

[Meggo]

2 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Just for perspective, a significant portion of the female population throughout the history of the world and even into modern times in other countries has had their first sexual experience on their wedding night. Obviously the human race has continued. It's not as impossible as some posters are making it out to be.

I know - and I really don't care about that - I just can't get over the "no unchaperoned emails, phone calls, texts, meetings etc" Like - is someone walking RIGHT with them? Or hanging back 10 feet? 

 

[FundaMental]

4 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Just for perspective, a significant portion of the female population throughout the history of the world and even into modern times in other countries has had their first sexual experience on their wedding night. Obviously the human race has continued. It's not as impossible as some posters are making it out to be.

The difference is that the majority of those women were allowed to kiss, hug and be alone with their spouses before they were married. They ease into it, whereas plenty of fundies are completely hands-off until their wedding night when they're suddenly expected to procreate. It seems like a frightening leap, especially if you're young.  

[CaricatureQualities]

I think everyone has some level of internal intuition about all kinds of things regarding other people. Certainly there are a lot of people who may have correct internal hunches when it comes to the sexual orientation of others. Some people are naturally intuitive and it also depends on if it's a person you know well or interact with a lot vs a stranger or public figure. I was pretty sure one of my best friends was gay before he got around to coming out to me but it wasn't something I discussed with anyone or even thought about a lot because I didn't care if he was gay straight or bi and it was his thing to bring up or not. (He actually dropped a straight female friend who immediately took it upon herself to lecture and pressure him to come out to his parents. She actually got mad at him because she thought she was an authority over how and when he should do things as a gay guy.)

 I don't believe we have specific gay radars in our brains but if we did some peoples would be more accurate or updated than others i.e. a "gaydar" that uses stereotypes is outdated and totally inaccurate.  I might think I know about somebody based on any number of things but that doesn't mean I am right or I have to discuss it openly and and the end of the day, I don't know anything about someone's preferences unless they tell me. Nobody does. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Just for perspective, a significant portion of the female population throughout the history of the world and even into modern times in other countries has had their first sexual experience on their wedding night. Obviously the human race has continued. It's not as impossible as some posters are making it out to be.

well of course and some have had it way worse then the Duggar's meeting only on their wedding day completely arranged marriages ect... still going from hand holding and side hugs to everything with in a few hours is just crazy to me.  

[Crazy Enough to Join]

5 minutes ago, FundaMental said:

The difference is that the majority of those women were allowed to kiss, hug and be alone with their spouses before they were married. They ease into it, whereas plenty of fundies are completely hands-off until their wedding night when they're suddenly expected to procreate. It seems like a frightening leap, especially if you're young.  

I would actually argue that throughout the history of the world many women have had much less sexual experience than the unmarried Duggar girls. Arranged marriages to strangers etc. The Duggar girls grew up in a (somewhat weirdly) sex positive household too as far as marital relations and their parents were involved, so I imagine the Duggar girls do just fine on their wedding night. I think the much greater issue than lack of sexual experience is lack of life experience. They are too young and inexperienced to pick a life partner who is a good guy--as Anna clearly showed.

[Meggo]

7 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

I would actually argue that throughout the history of the world many women have had much less sexual experience than the unmarried Duggar girls. Arranged marriages to strangers etc. The Duggar girls grew up in a (somewhat weirdly) sex positive household too as far as marital relations and their parents were involved, so I imagine the Duggar girls do just fine on their wedding night. I think the much greater issue than lack of sexual experience is lack of life experience. They are too young and inexperienced to pick a life partner who is a good guy--as Anna clearly showed.

And I'm sure they'll figure it out. It's not THAT complicated. I just think of what a shock it has to be. To go from side hugs to let's make a baby in a matter of hours. 

I dated my husband for years before we got married - spent weekends at each others places, went on vacation etc - and it was STILL weird when started living together. 

 

[TatiFish9]

They all seem to manage, though. (For personal reference), I have never been entirely sure that all of them have followed the no kissing etc rule to the tee until marriage bed, anyhow.

However since none of the Duggars have admitted to it, I will go along with the theory that the culture they embrace prepares them for different expectations. I bet they spend their entire first days figuring it out all as they have been raised to do in the first place.

I also think the romanticizing of sexual intercourse is overall a fairly modern concept considering the history of mankind. So as another poster mentioned, many will have an instinctual predisposition to learning natural acts with one another.

More and more, I am starting to equate what the Duggars, Bates and other well known Fundies set up as arranged marriages, anyhow. 

Both arranged or personally selective marriages have their downsides and pros. I wonder if there are stats available about which type have record longevity over the other.

I think the only downside is when you can't get out of a bad deal. That is the issue here. I think of Anna. It seems like she had a way out but really making it work seemed to be the best option for a mother of 3+ with no marketable skills, personal income or worldly experience as an adult.

I guess that is the biggest downfall of any marriage chosen or set up. A way out (if necessary) is key.

[anjulibai]

2 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

I also think the romanticizing of sexual intercourse is overall a fairly modern concept considering the history of mankind. 

Have we read the same history?

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

52 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

Yeah, no.  I'm plenty gay and my hair is long as hell and I can't get enough of girly crap. Take your stereotypes somewhere else. 

I'm also femme and queer. Admittedly, I've had moments where I've butched up a bit to increase my visibility. It mostly happens when I'm going to dyke bars, because I've encountered hostility for being femme before (ie, people thinking I'm the lost straight girl in the queer bar). I like makeup and heels, but shave part of my head, and have been known to rock work boots and plaid flannel shirts (my preference is pink or purple plaid). 

Re: SiRen. Wow! I'm sooo surprised. Didn't see that coming. 

I guess we'll see their wedding next season, and a.l the wedding prep the following season when in real time she'll be close to birthing thrir first blessing.

[Jinder Roles]

This is the first time both people in a Duggar engagement have been younger than me. And I'm only 21. 

Didn't she just turn 18? She's the same age as all scared freshmen in college for context. 

@singsingsing I agree. The voice, mannerisms,  and that awful beard reminds me so much of Josh. Doesn't mean Josiah will do anything unseemly (or illegal) but they are alike. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, gameofunbeknowns said:

This is not speculation in the least. I have a genuine question though....are we now operating under the belief that “Gaydar” isn’t really a thing? Serious question. What are you guys opinion?

I do think "gaydar" is a thing, I've seen and met people and thought to myself "won't be shocked when this one "comes out". However I would NEVER EVER tell someone aside from a close circle of friends who wouldn't ever tell the general public our opinion on the matter. 

I have a long time friend, that I'm 99.9% sure her youngest son is gay and have since he was 7, he's 22 now and engaged to a woman whom I'm 99.9% sure is a lesbian.  They are both from evangelical fundy to fundy lights families where gay is NOT an option.  Bringing this up would cause issues for them that they don't need. Same for Si, if he is or isn't, isn't anyones business but his.

TL;DR; is gaydar a thing, IMO, yes, should we be talking about it in regards to Duggerlings or other Kidults in this cult, nope, that is a fire we need to leave smothered.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

39 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

As an ICU nurse, I    could almost unequivocally tell which patients were going to cause problems during our shift, particularly the night shift. They could be rock stable when I hit the floor, but I would know within a short time who would be crumping by dawn. It was subtle things, you could have called it "intuitiion".. and it may be the same with  gaydar.

 

Have you ever read The Gift of Fear? It's about how we pick up on the tiny, often nonverbal cues in someone's behavior. The book is about understanding when someone might be dangerous, but I'm sure the same principles apply when we subconsciously decide who shares our interests or social class or sexuality, without outright asking. Really interesting read.

That being said, I have a number of close gay friends and I feel like half of what any of us talk about is "that guy I want to ask out... is he gay or not???" And having seen this play out plenty of times I'm pretty sure all of us, gay or straight, are just guessing.

Ps. Actual LOL at "crumping by dawn"

[Sky with diamonds]

3 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

https://instagram.com/p/Bf86fJOh5_A/
Josiah talks of gods timing

More like TLC and Counting On timing. 

[gameofunbeknowns]

1 minute ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Have you ever read The Gift of Fear? It's about how we pick up on the tiny, often nonverbal cues in someone's behavior. The book is about understanding when someone might be dangerous, but I'm sure the same principles apply when we subconsciously decide who shares our interests or social class or sexuality, without outright asking. Really interesting read.

That being said, I have a number of close gay friends and I feel like half of what any of us talk about is "that guy I want to ask out... is he gay or not???" And having seen this play out plenty of times I'm pretty sure all of us, gay or straight, are just guessing.

Ps. Actual LOL at "crumping by dawn"

The Gift of Fear is an excellent book. When I was still lurking here I used to laugh to myself when the “too many details” PINs (pre incident indicators) was triggered. The minute someone gave a good amount of rather unnecessary details I thought “yeah...this is probably about to go downhill.” And, like clockwork, a few weeks later I’d be reading about contipated fish.

[SapphireSlytherin]

I love The Gift of Fear. It's a must-read for anyone.

[singsingsing]

So, what do we know about Lauren's family? This is basically all the info I have:

They're from Georgia. Somebody said they recently relocated to Arkansas, but I can't find any source for that rumour. Dwain Swanson, the family patriarch, has a landscaping business and also runs a ministry called Courageous Men of the Word. He 'ministers' to men using a headset while he's on his riding lawnmower. They seem pretty deeply involved in ATI. His wife's name is Lana. They have four daughters and four sons (possibly five sons - it appears she just had another baby, maybe a boy). Lauren was born in 1999 and is the oldest of the siblings. 

I don't know any of the other siblings' names, birthdates, etc. Or whether the rumour that they've moved to Arkansas is true. I would especially love to know the source of that one.

[TatiFish9]

29 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Have we read the same history?

I said modern history throughout the course of humankind, meaning from the very beginning of it all. Modern being an adjective not a noun. Also, dating as opposed to courting, pairing and arranging is also a fairly modern aspect of human relationships. Again, modern being an adjective not the noun of modern times like 20th or 21st century. 

If you look at various cultures and how people paired into marriage, Netflix and chill is a fairly new idea in the scope of the human timeline. Even early century 20th courting popularized in European and American cultures was chaperoned and often preselected.

For the record, I am also not talking about passion itself. I am talking about choosing a romantic partner of one's volition based on falling in as the standard of marriage unions. Only 200 years ago if someone was lucky to marry on such, there was a name for it "love match". 

If sex has been associated with falling in love since prehistory, I stand corrected.

[SapphireSlytherin]

13 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

So, what do we know about Lauren's family? This is basically all the info I have:

They're from Georgia. Somebody said they recently relocated to Arkansas, but I can't find any source for that rumour. Dwain Swanson, the family patriarch, has a landscaping business and also runs a ministry called Courageous Men of the Word. He 'ministers' to men using a headset while he's on his riding lawnmower. They seem pretty deeply involved in ATI. His wife's name is Lana. They have four daughters and four sons (possibly five sons - it appears she just had another baby, maybe a boy). Lauren was born in 1999 and is the oldest of the siblings. 

I don't know any of the other siblings' names, birthdates, etc. Or whether the rumour that they've moved to Arkansas is true. I would especially love to know the source of that one.

I've found the names of all of Dwain's siblings (as I'm sure you have). Like you, though, I'm not finding anything about Lauren's siblings' names or their move to Arkansas. 

[scoutsadie]

@Georgiana - I appreciate so much the breadth and depth of your knowledge, and how articulately you express them here. I consistently both learn from and resonate with your posts. Thank you!

2 hours ago, FundaMental said:

 

2 hours ago, FundaMental said:

Gay men often act more feminine simply because that's how they are, the same as how many (not all) lesbian women cut their hair short and wear clothes that don't fit with the gender stereotype. An overly feminine guy is more likely to be gay, probability speaking, but a guy being feminine does not automatically mean that he is gay. 

Some of your post I agree with, @FundaMental, but the first bolded comment is utterly meaningless, and the second is simply an opinion cloaked as fact by your use of the word "probability."

[HarleyQuinn]

That was quick. Josiah used to be ny favorite so seeing how much he looks like Josh now that he put on weight is so unsettling. It doesn't help that Lauren resembles Anna.

[scoutsadie]

@Georgiana - Here's a photo of my cats, because I've managed to duplicate a post to you and can't for the life of me untag you or delete it. (Sorry, everyone! Totally embarrased.)

[tabitha2]

1 hour ago, FundaMental said:

The difference is that the majority of those women were allowed to kiss, hug and be alone with their spouses before they were married. They ease into it, whereas plenty of fundies are completely hands-off until their wedding night when they're suddenly expected to procreate. It seems like a frightening leap, especially if you're young.  

Really? I don’t think those chaperoned Rich and middle class Victorian or Antebellum Maidens and the Royal brides who travelled thousands of miles to meet their grooms or those daughters who depended Father  or Matchmaker to pick a suitable groom who hopefully would not be an abusive drunk ( Fiddler on the Roof ) were kissing or hugging anyone  

[GreatScott]

3 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

That was quick. Josiah used to be ny favorite so seeing how much he looks like Josh now that he put on weight is so unsettling. It doesn't help that Lauren resembles Anna.

I’m so glad I’m not alone thinking she looks just like Anna. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. 

Its very... doppelgänger-ish 

[scoutsadie]

1 minute ago, GreatScott said:

I’m so glad I’m not alone thinking she looks just like Anna. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first. 

Its very... doppelgänger-ish 

Funny - I've always thought since my first sighting of her that she looks like Jessa.