Christendom’s Most Eligible Bachelor: Traditional Catholic Looking for Wife Blog

[snarkopolis]

On 12/11/2017 at 4:02 AM, Hane said:

@Cleopatra7, the subject of your thesis sounds absolutely brilliant! You’ve just summed up much of American Catholicism perfectly. Here in the Northeast, there are relatively few black Catholics, although I know of at least one majority black parish. A woman I met at a party told me that many people outside her parish assume she’s a convert. 

Where are you at? I know many Catholics of color here in my urban area.

[feministxtian]

There were 3 parishes in my hometown back in the dark ages. One of them was downtown. It had originally been the ONLY Catholic church in the city, but as time went by, 2 more parishes were established. The downtown one was primarily African American by the late 70's, early 80's, perhaps before then. The midtown parish had the elementary school which was lily white (so was the high school). The uptown parish was mostly military families who didn't go to church on base. In the town "next door" there were, that I remember, 2 parishes. One downtown, one northwest of there. The last time I was in the midtown parish was my mother's funeral mass...I was upfront with the priest and told him I was no longer a practicing catholic and neither were my children...but he was cool with us doing the readings and stuff...I sang and played her favorite song...it was kinda cool. 

[Cleopatra7]

I want to thank all the FJers who have shown an interest in my dissertation. However, at this point I’m still getting through the qualifying exams (one of which was yesterday which is why I’m responding so late) which means that as of now my dissertation is just an idea floating in the ether. According to the US Bishops’ Conference site and Pew Research, there are about three million black Catholics in the US. This may not sound like much compared to the numbers of white Catholics or blacks as a whole but remember that this is more than the number of adherents in the Episcopal Church, the Assemblies of God, and the AME Church Zion. In general, I think that black religious expression tends to be essentialised, which ignores the actual diversity of black religion.

To tie all this to the original subject, I can hardly wait for Christendom’s Most Eligible Yankee Confederate Bachelor to wail and gnash over Roy Moore’s loss.

[unholypoledancer]

I am curious how he feels about the president being married to someone who was not born in this country (disclaimer: not a fan of Cheeto or Mel). He seems like someone who would be all over Cheeto, but I wonder how he would Mansplain his way out of his (Cheeto's) marriage to an immigrant? 

[Terrie]

6 minutes ago, unholypoledancer said:

I am curious how he feels about the president being married to someone who was not born in this country (disclaimer: not a fan of Cheeto or Mel). He seems like someone who would be all over Cheeto, but I wonder how he would Mansplain his way out of his (Cheeto's) marriage to an immigrant? 

Or his multiple divorces.

He posted on the Alabama election, commenting on Moore:

Quote

The accusations of sexual abuse and underage dating (which were not really abuse and totally normal in Southern folklore over 40 years ago)

Can't imagine why women aren't lining up to marry this guy.

[Cleopatra7]

8 minutes ago, Terrie said:

He posted on the Alabama election, commenting on Moore:

If it was totally normal for grown men to date the junior high set in the South 40+ years ago, then why did Jerry Lee Lewis’s career tank when he married his thirteen year old cousin? As a rule, if one is faced with a moral dilemma, one should ask oneself, “Would Jerry Lee Lewis do this?” If the answer is “yes,” you should probably do the opposite. When your so-called “Christian” candidate is on the same moral level as Jerry Lee Lewis, it may be time to re-evaluate your code of ethics.

[ViolaSebastian]

I don’t know why this guy from Boston is suddenly an expert on “Southern folklore” (whatever the heck that means to him), but even 40 years ago, a thirty-something year old dating a fourteen year old would be given major, major side-eye. Plus, you know, the whole forcing them into sex acts thing, too, which he seems to have conveniently forgot. 

[Hane]

@snarkopolis, I’m in central Connecticut. There’s a majority-black Catholic church in Hartford, and I know of a few other parishes that at least somewhat racially and ethnically diverse.

[Seahorse Wrangler]

I'm just wondering if his adherence to Traditional Catholic values holds true for which days you are allowed to hvae sweet fellowship with your wife.

 

http://www.medievalists.net/2013/02/sex-in-the-middle-ages/

[clarinetpower]

And now, apparently, Mitch McConnell is an Evil Librul because it's normal for 30 year old district attorneys to molest 14 year old children because folklore. 

Makes perfect sense. 

 

BTW, Roy Moore? Of the set that hates Catholics. Especially idol-worshipping traditionals.

 

[nausicaa]

"Southern folklore"? We're not talking about B'rer Rabbit, you unfathomable creep.

I do love a Bostonian who sounds like an extra from Cheers condescending to tell me what the social norms are in the South...

How is shoving a 16-year-old's head into one's crotch not abuse? Propositioning a girl in court while her mother was inside for a child custody case? Sneaking high schoolers out of their homes so that their parents didn't know where they were going?

And don't even get me started on the absolutely ridiculous notion that in the 1970s (Only 40 years ago, not exactly the Dark Ages. Ya know, we actually have people still alive who remember those days. Like everyone over 45.) everyone was cool with grown men dating children. That was obviously not the case, as evidenced by the mall's reaction. I can't even believe how people try to spin things sometimes. 

 

[Briefly]

On 12/12/2017 at 5:59 AM, Petronella said:

I'm a bit late replying to this, but I have heard the term "sprinkling" very commonly used and not at all disparagingly. It's just descriptive. If you say your in-laws had a rude tone, I believe you, but the word itself is a very normal word for non-immersion baptism. (We have a mixed church background with lots of baptism-practice variety.)

I've heard it used often and never has it been considered derogatory.  My mom always said I was sprinkled when I was baptised in to the Methodist church as a young child, then I had to be immersed for baptism when we joined the Baptist church - which everybody referred to as being dunked.  I guess it depends on the intent of the speaker?

2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

"Southern folklore"? We're not talking about B'rer Rabbit, you unfathomable creep.

I do love a Bostonian who sounds like an extra from Cheers condescending to tell me what the social norms are in the South...

How is shoving a 16-year-old's head into one's crotch not abuse? Propositioning a girl in court while her mother was inside for a child custody case? Sneaking high schoolers out of their homes so that their parents didn't know where they were going?

And don't even get me started on the absolutely ridiculous notion that in the 1970s (Only 40 years ago, not exactly the Dark Ages. Ya know, we actually have people still alive who remember those days. Like everyone over 45.) everyone was cool with grown men dating children. That was obviously not the case, as evidenced by the mall's reaction. I can't even believe how people try to spin things sometimes. 

 

You're right, the 70's are not that long ago and it would not have been acceptable then!  I remember being "bothered" by a middle-ish aged man when I was probably about 12 or so, and my father just about coming unglued on him.  That would have been in the early 1970's since I was born right at the end of 1961.  I can not find enough words to describe how disgusting Moore is and I was really happy to read that he was not the winner.

[Queen Of Hearts]

4 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

I'm just wondering if his adherence to Traditional Catholic values holds true for which days you are allowed to hvae sweet fellowship with your wife.

 

http://www.medievalists.net/2013/02/sex-in-the-middle-ages/

In one of his posts he said daily sex was mandatory, so I am guessing the answer to your question is a big NO.  

Edited December 14, 2017 by Queen Of Hearts

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

38 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

In one of his posts he said daily sex was mandatory, so I am guessing the answer to your question is a big NO.  

And how's that going to happen while Jillian is in labor with one of their SIX children? Labor taking more than 24 hours? Too bad Jillian, Chris's needs come first. 

[mango_fandango]

Hopefully he’d abstain if his wife was in labour, but I worry that he’d be itching to get back in the sack very soon afterwards. Bleurgh.

I don’t think this guy will get married any time soon, though. That’s some relief.

[Granwych]

1 hour ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

And how's that going to happen while Jillian is in labor with one of their SIX children? Labor taking more than 24 hours? Too bad Jillian, Chris's needs come first. 

Well, Jillian most likely will have two hands, so while one is on the bedrail, the other can be on Chris's tent pole..  He'll be the one screaming during the next contraction.

[CyborgKin]

On 03/12/2017 at 5:00 AM, clarinetpower said:

 

 

Sorry it was half the thread ago but I have to follow this up with further (Canadian) comedy:

(there's a post-credits stinger)

[edit]

On 10/12/2017 at 2:10 PM, ViolaSebastian said:

Whenever I hear someone say "may the force be with you," I'm always screaming in my head "AND ALSO WITH YOU!!!"

 

On 11/12/2017 at 12:24 AM, subsaharanafrica said:

It’s “and with your spirit” now. Quite a few pieces of the English language mass were changed under Benedict XVI to make it more in line with what is being said in other languages. 

I wonder what George Lucas thinks of that change.

Edited December 14, 2017 by CyborgKin
Star War The Third Gathers: The Backstroke of the West

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

And how's that going to happen while Jillian is in labor with one of their SIX children? Labor taking more than 24 hours? Too bad Jillian, Chris's needs come first. 

In one of Jeff Foxworthy's routines, he mentions that their Lamaze instructor told them "After your wife's water breaks, DO NOT have sex," and he raised his hand and said "Is this really a problem?" He noted that she wouldn't have said it if someone hadn't tried it. 

"So just how far apart are the contractions, sweet thing?  It seems a shame to waste this semi-private room!"

[samurai_sarah]

4 hours ago, smittykins said:

In one of Jeff Foxworthy's routines, he mentions that their Lamaze instructor told them "After your wife's water breaks, DO NOT have sex," and he raised his hand and said "Is this really a problem?" He noted that she wouldn't have said it if someone hadn't tried it. 

"So just how far apart are the contractions, sweet thing?  It seems a shame to waste this semi-private room!"

I can't tell you how true this is, or if it's just slander: Apparently in the 19th century, it was common practice amongst Sicilian immigrants in NY to encourage intercourse while a woman was in labour.

For the life of me, I can't recall where I read that or how reputable the source was! All I recall is that the article went on to say that the medical profession worked hard to eradicate the practice due to the high risk of infection. That and me thinking "if anyone ever tries that with me, I'll finish childbirth in gaol".

As I said, I don't know if it's true, since I can't find my source. If it isn't, I apologise unreservedly for continuing to spread this!

[Granwych]

7 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

can't tell you how true this is, or if it's just slander: Apparently in the 19th century, it was common practice amongst Sicilian immigrants in NY to encourage intercourse while a woman was in labour.

In the book  Spiritual Midwifery, the head midwife, Ina Mae Gaskin, would urge the prospective parents to "Smooch" and "play with her tits" to get things going.  Must be getting some hormones jumpstarted--

[samurai_sarah]

1 minute ago, Granwych said:

In the book  Spiritual Midwifery, the head midwife, Ina Mae Gaskin, would urge the prospective parents to "Smooch" and "play with her tits" to get things going.  Must be getting some hormones jumpstarted--

I am in no doubt that something gets started when I'm in pain, and someone tries touching me in any other function than medical. That's when my pacifism can go take a hike.

Alas, I'm positive that I have never read that book. I vividly recall that my article stated that men were encouraged to have intercourse after their wives' waters had broken. And as much as I torture my brain, the only other thing I can come up with from that article I read, is that immigrants from Bohemia were far more into gender-equality than others. So, I suspect it was in an obscure academic paper. Great, now I won't rest until I have found the precise reference.

[mango_fandango]

I’ve heard of sex to bring on labour, but NOTHING is coming NEAR me when in labour unless it’s a gloved midwife’s hand. Especially when it gets to active labour; there’s already something coming OUT of there I don’t need something trying to get IN.

[Hane]

2 hours ago, samurai_sarah said:

I can't tell you how true this is, or if it's just slander: Apparently in the 19th century, it was common practice amongst Sicilian immigrants in NY to encourage intercourse while a woman was in labour.

For the life of me, I can't recall where I read that or how reputable the source was! All I recall is that the article went on to say that the medical profession worked hard to eradicate the practice due to the high risk of infection. That and me thinking "if anyone ever tries that with me, I'll finish childbirth in gaol".

As I said, I don't know if it's true, since I can't find my source. If it isn't, I apologise unreservedly for continuing to spread this!

Family story, courtesy of my first-generation-American grandma, whose parents were born in Genoa:

It was common for a new mother, back in the day, to have a six-week “lying-in” period after childbirth, and for her mother to come stay with her and help out during that time. (Nowadays, that seems like an awfully long time, but childbirth was often rougher back then, and this respite was the only “vacation” most poor women got.)

In one case, the new mother’s mom insisted on banishing her son-in-law to the parlor sofa and sleeping with her daughter—with a knife under her pillow!—so that her daughter could recover from childbirth without being pestered for sex. 

[PennySycamore]

@Granwych, IIRC, Ina May also says in Spiritual Midwifery that loving feelings helped the baby get into the uterus and that those same loving feeling between the pregnant woman and her man would help the baby get out.

[AlwaysExcited]

3 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Granwych, IIRC, Ina May also says in Spiritual Midwifery that loving feelings helped the baby get into the uterus and that those same loving feeling between the pregnant woman and her man would help the baby get out.

What.
I want to write something snarky, but can't. What. Is. This?