Counting On, Season 4 Part 2: Still Far Behind Real Life

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

39 minutes ago, Fluffy14 said:

I get the feeling these kids have to fend for themselves emotionally, and physically.  

DING DING DING DING DING! You just nailed it, these kids are own their own, if it weren't for Jana and JD it would be Lord of the Flys up in the TTH.

There is a lot of ragging on Joy, and for some reason I feel very protective of her, she's so young shes the exact same age as my son and I realize that what is happening to her she is NOT emotionally ready for.  As much as the littles are on their own remember that Joy is the 1st child raised by a sister mom, a sister who was only 6 when she was born, as immature as Jill is in her 20's imagine that as grade schooler, and realize she was responsible for herself AND an infant. Especially once Jed & Jer came along when Joy was only 13 months old, so I'm guessing Joy was in Jill's hands completely from 13 months on, when Jill was a mere 7 1/2 years old, only being supervised by her 9 yr old sister and her 10 and 9 year old brothers.  

I think we all forget just how YOUNG the older sisters where when they took on adult responsibilities. Helping your little sister or brother put their shoes on or their coat while running out the door is one thing, but having to mind them in public, bathe them help them brush teeth, and put them to bed, educate them, discipline them, is entirely different.  Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger really got screwed as they were so busy with their younger siblings, remember Michelle was birthing babies ever 18 or so months for 20 years there was ALWAYS another kid to care for ALWAYS another mouth to feed always another kid in line for too little food, always another kid in line for to few bathrooms and always another kid taking mom & dads time.

[Eternalbluepearl]

2 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

 They need STRUCTURE and DISCIPLINE.

Isn't it funny how the very first special showed all the kids lined up by age stating their names. The boys wore polo shirts and khakis. The narrator basically saying that their family operated like a well-oiled machine. Everyone worked together, did their "jurisdiction", they followed a schedule, lots of rules, etc. In 2017 viewers are like damn Jim Bob and Michelle, have some freaking structure in that house! 

[JenniferJuniper]

1 minute ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Isn't it funny how the very first special showed all the kids lined up by age stating their names. The boys wore polo shirts and khakis. The narrator basically saying that their family operated like a well-oiled machine. Everyone worked together, did their "jurisdiction", they followed a schedule, lots of rules, etc. In 2017 viewers are like damn Jim Bob and Michelle, have some freaking structure in that house! 

I know people think Precious Blessing is a bit of a brat, but she certainly is 180 degrees away from those little robots!

[MamaJunebug]

3 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I know people think Precious Blessing is a bit of a brat, but she certainly is 180 degrees away from those little robots!

Who is Precious Blessing?

(Also: Free Jana...just putting that out there to the universe.)

Thank you for your reply -- MJ-durrr-B

[JenniferJuniper]

5 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Who is Precious Blessing?

The most precious of all the Duggar blessings, of course...

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Who is Precious Blessing?

(Also: Free Jana...just putting that out there to the universe.)

Thank you for your reply -- MJ-durrr-B

Josie.

 

[SassyPants]

The house was also a sty the morning that they were leaving, and the LOs always look so disheveled.  TLC provided the family both money and exposure, and ironically, it also stimulated the demise of any sort of structure, organization or discipline. Since the birth of Justin there has been nothing but dysfunction in that house. M's vagina very much akin to the conveyor belt in the candy shop where Lucy and Ethel briefly worked. The babies just kept coming and coming-

And personally, I'm thinking JinJer wants no part of that circus type atmosphere for their family.

[candygirl200413]

A few of you mentioned how Joy definitely reminds you of Jill and I was just thinking since the wedding does she go flip houses with Austin or pulls a Jill in the first year and makes sure to go to lunch with him/driving him to and from work since she doesn't want to be alone.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 minute ago, candygirl200413 said:

A few of you mentioned how Joy definitely reminds you of Jill and I was just thinking since the wedding does she go flip houses with Austin or pulls a Jill in the first year and makes sure to go to lunch with him/driving him to and from work since she doesn't want to be alone.

I think she's she a bit more resilient and has the wherewithal to think of SOMETHING to do.  Be it hang out at the camp and help there or work at flip houses with Austin doing little things here and there.

[SapphireSlytherin]

18 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

The house was also a sty the morning that they were leaving, and the LOs always look so disheveled.  TLC provided the family both money and exposure, and ironically, it also stimulated the demise of any sort of structure, organization or discipline. Since the birth of Justin there has been nothing but dysfunction in that house. M's vagina very much akin to the conveyor belt in the candy shop where Lucy and Ethel briefly worked. The babies just kept coming and coming-

Exactly. Once they became characters on a teeeeveeee show, they stopped being a real family. The SOTDRT kind of got pushed aside, and for sure Meeechelle wasn't "teaching" anymore.

Their lives became a series of "field trips" funded by TLC.

There's no daily schedule, and they've admitted that they allow the kids to stay up very late. They don't make the kids get up at a normal time to start school - because "school" doesn't really exist, now does it? They haven't taught one of them to read because he was having trouble reading, so they let it go, right? (I can't remember which Howler it was - anybody?)

Josie runs wild. The other three young girls appear to be untrained and lack basic "in public" manners. I don't think they eat normal/healthy foods, and are left to fend for themselves. They're not developing healthy habits, and I shudder to think how they'll act in 10 years or so when they're of marrying age. No decision-making skills, no education...

[JDuggs]

Until I watched the latest episode, I was expecting to see Joy act like a petulant brat at the dress shop. But I don't think she was. She was just really indecisive. She even said she thought it would be easier, probably because she thought she didn't care. But once you're standing there, trying on dresses, you figure out that you do actually care and you want to look as beautiful as possible, but you have no idea how to achieve that. I think that Joy thought that she would try on one dress and think, "this is pretty; this will be fine," but it's just not that easy. Someone needed to sit Joy down and force her to look at lots of wedding dresses online and make her form opinions on them. There were plenty of people on FJ who thought Joy would go for a country vibe to suit her personality/style and it looks like she didn't even consider going in that direction, even though she probably would have loved it. Joy didn't think she needed to plan for the dress shopping which made it an overall unpleasant experience. And why choose the dress shop to get all sentimental and emotional? At least try to make it a positive fun experience. Oh and thank god the headship told her to wear shoes.

[backyard sylph]

10 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Until I watched the latest episode, I was expecting to see Joy act like a petulant brat at the dress shop. But I don't think she was. She was just really indecisive. She even said she thought it would be easier, probably because she thought she didn't care. But once you're standing there, trying on dresses, you figure out that you do actually care and you want to look as beautiful as possible, but you have no idea how to achieve that. I think that Joy thought that she would try on one dress and think, "this is pretty; this will be fine," but it's just not that easy. Someone needed to sit Joy down and force her to look at lots of wedding dresses online and make her form opinions on them. There were plenty of people on FJ who thought Joy would go for a country vibe to suit her personality/style and it looks like she didn't even consider going in that direction, even though she probably would have loved it. Joy didn't think she needed to plan for the dress shopping which made it an overall unpleasant experience. And why choose the dress shop to get all sentimental and emotional? At least try to make it a positive fun experience. Oh and thank god the headship told her to wear shoes.

Some of her "I don't knows" were polite masks for "I really hate this layer cake you put on me." That was easy to see. Who hasn't attempted to demur in the face of "oh my god this is awful?" In the talking heads, she articulated her concerns pretty well.

She and Jinger have been my "favorites" such as that is, all along, and I saw nothing last night to change that. The older sisters all fully understood how much she didn't want to be there, and Jessa was rather motherly toward her in terms of coaxing thoughts out of her, easing her concerns, etc. Michelle should have been actually mothering the young ones while that went on, and Grandma should have rolled her scripted eyes sooner.

[sunshine]

I hope that Grandma meets someone special.

[JessaBlessa]

Not sure where to post this, but I just heard the great Stephen King say "my wife and I's three children".  Is this becoming proper grammar now?  I thought it was a Duggar thing or an Arkansas thing.

[IWantBabiesToo]

4 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Josie's behavior has always bothered me. The whole family lets her get away with acting feral since she's so speshul. At her age, she should be able to sit still, speak in coherent sentences, and even read a little bit. There is clearly no structure to her days or her life. Those kids keeping "Duggar Time" (and the older ones still reveling in it) just blows my mind. They get out of bed, stagger down the stairs, and go back to sleep on the sofa. They need STRUCTURE and DISCIPLINE.

Josie's behavior has always bothered me too, but not in the spoiled brat kind of way. I think she's developmentally behind and a lot of times her emotions seem like she is just copying what she sees - everyone else is crying so she picks up that cue and simply mimics it, not really understanding why. It's over-exaggerated. I have never found it genuine coming from her. The family is probably keeping her development issues non-public, in other words, simply not telling the viewers anything. But I don't believe her parents got her the proper kind of  developmental assistance (or any at all) that someone with her birth problems definitely need. They let her run wild with no proper help and acknowledgment of her special needs. In their culture they hide what they see as "non-perfect" and try to sweep it under the rug in denial. Because how could God fail them in their fervent devotion to Him, right? It's horrible parenting and sets her up for major issues as she gets older and into adulthood. She's a beautiful child with a wonderful spirit and I can see the amazing potential and growth in her with the proper assistance, but her parents are doing her a disservice. 

[Four is Enough]

5 minutes ago, JessaBlessa said:

Not sure where to post this, but I just heard the great Stephen King say "my wife and I's three children".  Is this becoming proper grammar now?  I thought it was a Duggar thing or an Arkansas thing.

It's becoming more and more common. I've even heard it in music. Fingernails on a chalkboard, to me...

[IWantBabiesToo]

57 minutes ago, sunshine said:

I hope that Grandma meets someone special.

It's so so sad to see Grandma locked up in the TTH living her life by their standards. She should be out in the normal world living her best life! All the kidults should be, too, of course, but Grandma is Jim Bob's MOTHER, not one of his daughters that he's been raising and controlling and fetishizing. Yes, I said it, JB fetishizes a certain kind of woman and managed to have a whole passel of them in his house and under his control that he can admire. I don't understand why Grandma allowed herself to stick around and change herself to fit under his rules. 

[Satan'sFortress]

^ Because how could she live without a man telling her what to do and think?

[singsingsing]

26 minutes ago, JessaBlessa said:

Not sure where to post this, but I just heard the great Stephen King say "my wife and I's three children".  Is this becoming proper grammar now?  I thought it was a Duggar thing or an Arkansas thing.

It's just a mistake. People tend to make a lot more mistakes speaking than they do writing, especially when they're just speaking off the cuff and haven't planned what they're going to say. It think even the most intelligent, verbal, educated person makes mistakes when they're speaking from time to time. I wouldn't read much into it.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

As someone who is so horribly uncomfortable even getting a haircut that I let my husband do it, my heart went out to Joy. I get horrible anxiety at the thought of mani pedis and whatnot, and would not have survived a bridal shop. I had one of the most casual weddings in the history of weddings. I'm headstrong enough that I would not have let anyone pressure me into doing it differently, but I'm grateful no one tried. Of course, my upbringing and lifestyle was/is night and day compared to hers, so I don't judge her for not insisting on what she clearly wanted for her wedding day.

I don't think she was a brat. She was overwhelmed and had no clue what to do or how to behave. She's a brainwashed little girl who didn't get to even attempt to grow up and perhaps rethink anything before marrying a guy she wanted to bang and becoming a mom. Her story gets to me so much more than the others.'

[SassyPants]

She’s a brainwashed little girl who is about to birth her own dependent being...what a CF in the making. Criminal, what JB and M have done to 19 children and the web is only growing.

[IWantBabiesToo]

5 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I didn't get a bratty vibe I got a I HAVE to do this even though I don't want to vibe.  It was pretty clear to me she and Austin wanted to just have a quickie wedding and get to work on each other and their house.  As I keep saying just because you are having a big to do that SOME people want doesn't make it a dream wedding, for me it was a nightmare and I get the impression it was for Joy as well.  If I had it to do over again I would have said "just plan it, it's what you want, I'll show up, play the part of the pretty princess and be on my way" 

THIS. Also Joy has been to and been involve in enough 1000+ person weddings that by now it's so so old and tired and she's over it, even for her own wedding. I remember a clip or episode where Jill said something along the lines of maybe you feel like you just want to go the courthouse and "just get it done..."  Last night Joy said weddings are over-rated. She's right, speaking from experience. 

My wedding was the typical expensive big princess one and planned in a short time frame (5 months - short for the normal world, ha). I. was. so. pressured. I never dreamed of my wedding as a child. I wanted a one year engagement at least, time to figure out what we want and plan it. But, no. Expectations. Not mine. Wedding planning = test of abilities as a wife. Judgments. Pressure. Rushing. Virgin Bride. Everything God. 

Marriage lasted 4 years. :/ 

 

[karen77]

On the Lilie and ellie blog, they said that Jordyn is doing division, at 8...hmm....

[grandmadugger]

1 minute ago, karen77 said:

On the Lilie and ellie blog, they said that Jordyn is doing division, at 8...hmm....

8 would be on track with common core math. I know the third grade math program starts with basic multiplication and division. 

[Buzzard]

13 minutes ago, karen77 said:

On the Lilie and ellie blog, they said that Jordyn is doing division, at 8...hmm....

I thought Duggars were only allowed to multiply