Joe and Kendra 5: Married!

[Captain Obvious]

1 minute ago, freethemall said:

They had an evening wedding, called it "formal", and of course especially for them weddings are considered very special affairs and people travel from all over to come. Most of these people are probably skipping their dinner to eat a snack fit for a child. Anything less than a decent dinner is disgusting.

Yeah, but as the post VelociRapture quoted above said, the guests wouldn't have expected there to be food and so would have planned accordingly. 

In non-fundie culture - yes, you would expect a meal, but not in theirs. 

Put it this way - for them a wedding is not a party. It's a church service, admittedly a fairly important one. You don't normally expect to have a full meal following a church service, no matter what time of day the service is on at. Snacks/coffee maybe, but that's it. 

[Tangy Bee]

I know I will probably get a slap on my wrists, but I just want to clarify that I've been to different types of weddings. Some were backyard, beach, Jewish, courthouse, and even in a club. Now that one in the club last year was a 1st for me. Very different set of friends and relatives scattered throughout the U.S. and Canada. Everyone had food at their receptions. Not all were fancy with servers. Sorry but so far I just have not experienced a "no food" reception. Sorry I also forgot the Duggars are just...complicated. I'm just sorry for anyone who has not had a chance to experience an Italian reception. It was over 8 years ago but that was the BEST so far. They don't lie about the food and wine! I was not interested in leaving early at all. I really think Jinger's husband being Italian, is the reason they had better food. Just my theory. 

[Rachel333]

It's not even solely a fundie thing; I've been to a lot of non-fundie weddings like those too.

[Carm_88]

Quote

After their nuptials, the newlyweds enjoyed a few moments alone before joining guests at their reception where pickled okra, cheese and crackers, and meatballs were served. They fed each other bites of a vanilla-flavored “naked cake”

From people about what was served at Jinger and Jeremy's reception. I believe there were cupcakes too. It wasn't some feast either. 

[Four is Enough]

11 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

When do you get off work?  Most people I know work until 6, at least, and get home maybe around 7. If you're making dinner yourself that means eating at 7:30 at the earliest. 

I usually eat at 8 and go to bed at 10:30, it never occurred to me that you would need hours and hours between dinner and bed. 

Oh, don't get me wrong. When I was 22, I could work till 11:30, go out for food and drinks with the girls, eat onion rings and drink beer and go to bed at 1:00! Can't do that now~ Mr. Four gets home around sixish, and eats very lightly. If we plan a vacation to say, Disney World, we generally eat our main meal either for lunch, or at 4:00. That way we're well digested before bed, LOL!

11 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I wonder if the local restaurants are giddy when there is a fundie wedding? Because the first thing I'd be thinking is I Want Food. I can just see the local places getting flooded with conversion vans post-reception.

I see the local fundies, at least, having coolers full of sandwiches in the vans. They know they're going to miss a meal; they plan ahead. My sister and I used to take our kids on day trips. We'd fill a cooler with sandwiches, fruit/veggies, snacks, and drinks. I'd think anyone with a large family would be used to this

[freethemall]

14 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

Yeah, but as the post VelociRapture quoted above said, the guests wouldn't have expected there to be food and so would have planned accordingly. 

In non-fundie culture - yes, you would expect a meal, but not in theirs. 

Put it this way - for them a wedding is not a party. It's a church service, admittedly a fairly important one. You don't normally expect to have a full meal following a church service, no matter what time of day the service is on at. Snacks/coffee maybe, but that's it. 

Everything you're saying definitely makes sense, and the other point that the after-party is considered the actual reception, and most families know to eat before/after. That and the rehearsal dinner has the real meal.

Likes other have said, when you come from food-based cultures (Italian, Russian) the idea of snacks is just baffling. I come from a Russian-Jewish background, where guests expect that if you spend money to come and pay for a gift, you hope to the hosts spend equally on you. Hospitality is key. And I believe hospitality is key in the south too, so it's weird that these affairs are so lacking in that hospitality.

If the rehearsal dinner and afterparty with the closest people are kind of the true wedding parties, I have to wonder why not invite only those people and have that Mexican dinner be the wedding reception not the rehearsal dinner. Someone mentioned they don't want to have too much food to show off too much, but in the end they're showing off even more and there's more spectacle and fan fair than any food-filled "simple" wedding I've ever been to.

Whatever explanation I see about this style of wedding, I can't help but see a million contradictions in it.

9 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

From people about what was served at Jinger and Jeremy's reception. I believe there were cupcakes too. It wasn't some feast either. 

They had meatballs, cheese and crackers, pickled okra: http://people.com/celebrity/jinger-duggar-jeremy-vuolo-wedding-day-details/

[Carm_88]

5 minutes ago, freethemall said:

They had meatballs, cheese and crackers, pickled okra: http://people.com/celebrity/jinger-duggar-jeremy-vuolo-wedding-day-details/

That is exactly what I said. I wouldn't call it a feast. 

[Mela99]

As to the 'surprise' at the wedding - I saw this on WTFundies and almost popped a kidney.:

Quote

"OMG! Imagine if Joe and Kendra cut into their wedding cake, and the filling is pink or blue… everyone’s confused for a few seconds and then Joy and Austin hop onstage and she grabs the mic and is like “Welcome to our gender reveal party!!!! This is what happens when you get engaged at my wedding, hoes!”

 

 

[doubleT]

I don't think a long, drawn out  wedding receptions is important to the Duggar's.  The vows at the church are important and the honeymoon is important.  But the newlyweds spending time with family and friends after becoming husband and wife, is not that important.  The trend from Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joy, and now Joe (who just so happened married a girl from the same area) is to have a short and sweet (salty too) reception and then send off the newly married couple to their wedding night.   Following that,  the guest head to the Duggar compound and I think that is where food and special fellowship is served.   

[lumpentheologie]

11 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

I see the local fundies, at least, having coolers full of sandwiches in the vans. They know they're going to miss a meal; they plan ahead. My sister and I used to take our kids on day trips. We'd fill a cooler with sandwiches, fruit/veggies, snacks, and drinks. I'd think anyone with a large family would be used to this

That is probably what they do. It just seems sad to me to have to do this for a wedding you're invited to. And it seems like many if not most of them are traveling to get there, so it just seems inhospitable to me to make those families miss a meal. I know the fundies are probably used to it, but it still grates on me that their culture seems not to value hospitality at all -- my family is Mexican on one side and Irish/German on the other, and hospitality shown through food (and booze) is super important. 

[freethemall]

8 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

That is exactly what I said. I wouldn't call it a feast. 

I would say in having even just one hot protein (meatballs) it's several steps above just having chips and cake, or ice cream sundaes. Not a feast, but better than snack time.

[Nikedagain?]

Bottom line, I think each are getting the wedding that they want and the guests get the wedding that they expect. 

I'm NC born and bred. I've been to every type of wedding possible. Many have been cake, punch, snack receptions. No one ever seemed to think that was unusual. 

Soup is messy. At least I am a very messy soup eater. Big nope on that in my nice clothes! 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

2 hours ago, MoonFace said:

Ok - lets start guessing on what the wedding surprise is
Another Duggar courting/engaged would be one of my top bets   (one of the guys - unless GASP!!! It's Jana!)

Jinjer announces a pregnancy (Oh, I hope NOT!!)  

Dickwit and Jill are opening up a church 

And my favorite - SOMEONE GOT A JOB!!!

tumblr posts featuring screenshots of the instagram comments discussing the "surprise" - confirm that Anna is still pregnant as of wedding day, and no new courtships (at least not made public to wedding guests). perhaps they meant "surprise" like the glitter-confetti guns @ the Jostin wedding lol

[singsingsing]

I know we're laughing at the gender reveal wedding cake, but honestly, this is one of the most plausible Duggar rumours I've ever heard. I can totally see them doing something like that.

I'm going to sound insane, but I don't even think it's all that bad of an idea. Joe and Kendra and Joy and Austin clearly get along, and Joy and Austin let Joe propose at their wedding. It would actually kind of be a fun way to repay them, by doing their gender reveal during the cake cutting. I'm ashamed to say that I love it! 

[AnnaRuk09]

2 hours ago, MoonFace said:

Ok - lets start guessing on what the wedding surprise is

Another Duggar courting/engaged would be one of my top bets   (one of the guys - unless GASP!!! It's Jana!)

Jinjer announces a pregnancy (Oh, I hope NOT!!)  

Dickwit and Jill are opening up a church 

And my favorite - SOMEONE GOT A JOB!!!

I saw that on tumblr. In the comments the original author stated that it wasn't a courtship announcement. I would guess it to be a pregnancy announcement from someone. Or by fun surprises they meant some embarrassing moment. 

"Someone got a job" - That's HILARIOUS!!! 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

8 hours ago, L1o2u3 said:

I remember Cheryl Long bragging how they saved money at Emily's wedding by serving vegetable soup  But they also had salad, bread and cupcakes. I think many people would consider that as really boring and not appropriate for a wedding, But that actually made me think of maybe having a soup buffet for my wedding (if I'll ever get married) with 3-4 different soups.

However, the chips sound really weird. I had never heard of chips being part of a meal until Emily Long Carmicheal's meal for the helpers at the wedding (they had chicken salad and chips). Probably because they are cheap and you don't have to bake anything, just open up the bags. 

I freaking love soup.  I think a soup buffet sounds fantastic.  Seriously.  

[GreyhoundFan]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

They also had cake, lemonade, and popcorn if I remember correctly.

If they added toast, they could have recreated "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving".

[Hmmm_idolatry]

1 hour ago, Tangy Bee said:

I know I will probably get a slap on my wrists, but I just want to clarify that I've been to different types of weddings. Some were backyard, beach, Jewish, courthouse, and even in a club. Now that one in the club last year was a 1st for me. Very different set of friends and relatives scattered throughout the U.S. and Canada. Everyone had food at their receptions. Not all were fancy with servers. Sorry but so far I just have not experienced a "no food" reception. Sorry I also forgot the Duggars are just...complicated. I'm just sorry for anyone who has not had a chance to experience an Italian reception. It was over 8 years ago but that was the BEST so far. They don't lie about the food and wine! I was not interested in leaving early at all. I really think Jinger's husband being Italian, is the reason they had better food. Just my theory. 

I can't speak for all Italian-Americans everywhere, but in my family and community, it is a mortal sin to have people over for an event of any type and not stuff them with obscene amounts of food.  You'd be ruined forever if you ever hosted a social gathering and didn't feed people.  It would be the talk of the town for the next thirty years or so.  It makes me wonder what Jeremy's extended family must have thought during that wedding. I'm certain some of them were snarking.  

In terms of fundies, I have to say I love any sort of Orthodox Jewish social gathering.  The amount of food served is pretty much the same as what an Italian would serve.  You will walk out of there wanting to die because you're stuffed to capacity.  

Edited to add: I suspect that since TLC did some filming at Joe's wedding, they probably contributed to some of the costs.  They probably sighed in relief that they (probably) only had to fork over some cash for the salty snacks and the hanging things, lol.

[Queen]

In the last thread @BundleofJoy wrote that JB & M have a "triangle relationship with God." Naturally, my mind went somewhere along the lines of "threesome? Lol!" 

So, could we maybe make "having a threesome with God" a post count title?* Please tell me I'm not the only one who would find it funny  And no, I'm not mature at all. 

 

*I know, we have to suggest it in the Title Suggestions-thread too. I just wanted to check if anyone else finds this funny or if I should just head over to the prayer closet with my dirty mind...  

[Palimpsest]

15 hours ago, albireo said:

(Helpmeets, how do I enter a user's name into a quote? I can't click "quote" for Carm_88's post because it was in the last thread)

Not a Helpmeet, but I don't think anyone has answered this yet.

Type @poster'sname with no spaces.  A box will pop after the first couple of letters and you can click on the right name.  It occasionally glitches.

I see the usual debate about food at Fundie weddings is going on.  It always happens. 

See you all when it is over.

 

[sparklymagie]

11 hours ago, singsingsing said:

We have this debate every single time one of them gets married.

I was going to say the exact same thing: we have the discussion for pages and pages and pages for every single couple who has gotten married.

I'm not trying to stop the discussion, but its been had so much that I can predict the course of the conversation: 

1. A bunch of people (mostly Northerners and people of Italian descent)  will talk about how they have never heard of a wedding without a full meal, preferably a sit down. 

2. A bunch of people will respond that Southerners usually have cake and punch receptions. 

3. Some people will respond that only religious Southerners have cake and punch receptions and meals are now more common. 

4. A bunch of people will continue to put down the light snacks the Duggars serve at their weddings. 

5. A few people who had light food (or heavy appetizers) at their wedding or are planning to do so will describe their menu and ask if they are ok with what they served. 

6. People will respond and assure them that, for various reasons that make them different than the Duggars, their lighter menu is totally fine. 

7. A lot of people will then list what they served at their weddings, how it went, what everyone wore, etc. 

8. Interspersed through all this, people from outside the US will chime in with their traditions. 

9. People will continue to express disbelief that weddings without full meals occur.  

10. There will be etiquette discussions about whether and when full meals/ light food should be served. 

[singsingsing]

"Having a threesome with God" is really offensive and distasteful to me, actually. My opinion doesn't mean much, and I'm not judging anyone else's sense of humour, I just want to put that out there because I know I'm not the only one but a lot of people won't speak up.

[Denim Jumper]

40 minutes ago, Hmmm_idolatry said:

I can't speak for all Italian-Americans everywhere, but in my family and community, it is a mortal sin to have people over for an event of any type and not stuff them with obscene amounts of food.  You'd be ruined forever if you ever hosted a social gathering and didn't feed people.  It would be the talk of the town for the next thirty years or so.  It makes me wonder what Jeremy's extended family must have thought during that wedding. I'm certain some of them were snarking.  

Yup. Some of my husband's Italian family (NY Italian, to boot) are still scandalized because we had a sit-down dinner at a restaurant, with no DJ or dancing. It was nearly 18 years ago, but it still referred to as our "New England hillbilly wedding". I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if we hadn't sprung for a fancy dinner and an open bar.

[xlurker]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

we generally eat our main meal either for lunch, or at 4:00. That way we're well digested before bed, LOL!

I am so with you on this!  LOL  I am up before 5, work 7-3, eat around 5, bed no later than 9!  NOw 20 or so years ago it was a different story.   I personally have always been to weddings with some sort of sit down meal, however, I think all the folks that are attending these weddings are aware that its basically a Duggar variation on "cake and punch" and would actually be floored to have a meal served.   Weddings come in all sort of makes and models--to each thier own.  Trying to keep an open mind as the oldest Lurkling is newly engaged and planning a wedding....as long as I am there I will be happy

 

[Dr. Fundie Stalker]

14 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Hell, I'm as opposite to fundie as you can find get and even I have Jessa's wedding dress in on my secret pinterest board as dress inspiration - I'm a big busted woman and don't want a strapless wedding dress. It seems like 95% of dresses these days are strapless, so I am always on the lookout for nice dresses that has something holding it up but aren't frumpy but also won't show half my boobs every time I move and will allow for a proper bra to be worn. So Allure Modest wasn't hurt by Jessa wearing their dress. 

2

I also may have that dress saved. I liked the style. I would maybe do an open back or a the top as I don't care about extream modesty really but It looked beautiful.