Joe and Kendra 5: Married!

[L1o2u3]

I remember Cheryl Long bragging how they saved money at Emily's wedding by serving vegetable soup  But they also had salad, bread and cupcakes. I think many people would consider that as really boring and not appropriate for a wedding, But that actually made me think of maybe having a soup buffet for my wedding (if I'll ever get married) with 3-4 different soups.

However, the chips sound really weird. I had never heard of chips being part of a meal until Emily Long Carmicheal's meal for the helpers at the wedding (they had chicken salad and chips). Probably because they are cheap and you don't have to bake anything, just open up the bags. 

[Thorns]

Like Michelles hair. Hope it sticks. 

I'm currently reading a ton of historical romances (regency romances), so every time I see the "it is a good match" I get the urge to find a book. (And a lot of them are very NIKE).  

Carry on.

[JordynDarby5]

54 minutes ago, L1o2u3 said:

I remember Cheryl Long bragging how they saved money at Emily's wedding by serving vegetable soup  But they also had salad, bread and cupcakes. I think many people would consider that as really boring and not appropriate for a wedding, But that actually made me think of maybe having a soup buffet for my wedding (if I'll ever get married) with 3-4 different soups.

However, the chips sound really weird. I had never heard of chips being part of a meal until Emily Long Carmicheal's meal for the helpers at the wedding (they had chicken salad and chips). Probably because they are cheap and you don't have to bake anything, just open up the bags. 

Soup is perfectly acceptable for a wedding reception especially one in the winter. I went to a wedding that had four different kids of soup and bread. It was really good. 

[ElToro]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

 But I am strongly assuming that in their specific case, either TLC or the Duggars pitched in, or this wedding wouldn't have looked like any cookie-cutter Duggar wedding (from the little we have seen so far, anyway).

Yep... the frame they used to hang the Stars'n'Stripes flag looks like the one JinJer used for the giant 'V'  (just without the chicken wire).

This has Miss Cindy's refined pawprints all over it.

[marmalade]

31 minutes ago, ElToro said:

Yep... the frame they used to hang the Stars'n'Stripes flag looks like the one JinJer used for the giant 'V'  (just without the chicken wire).

This has Miss Cindy's refined pawprints all over it.

Random shit hanging from the ceiling was my dead giveaway that Cindy was involved. I doubt the Caldwells paid much for this wedding at all. i wonder who actually pays her these days. This is, after all, her third wedding in a year. 

[CoveredInBees]

I'd wager TLC made some sort of contribution to it.

After all, it probably works out much cheaper than all those trips they used to take ALL the Duggars on. No more big foreign trips for 20+ people now, it's all weddings and babies and the odd honeymoon just for two.

Cheap as chips  

[Pretzel]

Michelle looks gorgeous. I don't think she had something done to her hair because she wanted extra attention. Her style just evolved over the years like her daughters' did.

Michelle cannot do anything right. If she's 'frugal' and wears the same clothes for years (probably feeling comfortable in them?) then people snark on her blouses. If she wears modest dresses people snark on the monstrosities (have people ever thought about the possibility that Michelle wasn't too happy with the alterations done to her MOTB dress (Jill) but it was too late to change something?), if she curls her hair the way she always does people say she's boring and doesn't put in effort, if she puts in effort and tries something new people say she's just doing it for the attention. 

I assume she just saw other women do something to their hair and wanted to try something too, or her (many) daughters encouraged her to mix it up a little and she just didn't want to look the same all the time. It's her child's wedding, it's a-ok in my eyes if she wanted to look her best on that day. She also seems to have learned from the Jill-wedding MOTB dress-debacle. I can see how Michelle would put a little extra effort into her appearance now that she's older and more experienced with her own children's weddings. 

Sometimes people just want to look good on a festive day without some hidden agenda. So much BEC. 

[Lurky]

I get that they look sweet in the video, but the boyfriends I had when I was a teenager also looked at me with puppy dog eyes, and looked amazed to be with me, and me with them.  I don't think it's an indication that they're well-suited, or will stay together forever, and I'll always be sad for every single one of these courtship couples, who've never had a real chance to get to know each other before leaping into marriage (and yes, of course marrying the boy someone loved at 18 does work out for some people, but that's a case of "congrats, that's superb!" rather than the norm).

And I'm sick and grumpy, but I'm continually surprised that people in such a huge country as the USA can be so surprised that there is such a diversity of wedding traditions across the country.  There's no such thing as a "normal" USA wedding, "normal" wedding food, right? All that is geographically, culturally and financially context-specific, surely?

[HideousGreenShirt]

As the as the instigator of the salty snack guessing I will clarify: I wasn't snarking on their choice of  refreshments, I just enjoy whenever we do ridiculous polls and seeing everyone's outrageous guesses.

It's a Duggar wedding; obviously feeding guests is never going to be a priority.

[VelociRapture]

For the poster mentioning what's normal in Southern culture (sorry I forgot your name!) - the Duggars aren't simply Southern. They are Fundamentalist Christians who are part of a specific religious movement. Their geographic location has less sway over their wedding choices than their cult. There have also been plenty of posters over the years who have made it clear that punch and cake receptions are the norm for their circles in the Southern US. So, as I've said for the past four weddings, what's normal for your circle isn't going to be the norm for everyone in your geographic region. 

@singsingsingI've been a member since right before the Benessa nuptials, back when shredding Jill for her wedding was still a thing for some reason. And you're right. It's literally the same exact conversation each time. So, at this point, count me out too.

[Jenn The Heathen]

Is there some type of fundie/Gothard standard on food at a wedding?  I'm Italian and from NJ so weddings are food filled affairs, so while I really don't get the idea of not feeding your guests after they've given up their evening for you and most likely given you a gift, I would like to understand the why of it.  (I'm also new here so I haven't been around for previous wedding discussions).

[Palindrome]

All I can say is...Kendra, I have serious teeth envy. They're so white! Damn my obsession with drinking 10,000 cups of Yorkshire Tea a day (only slightly exaggerating here). 

[MoonFace]

Ok - lets start guessing on what the wedding surprise is

Another Duggar courting/engaged would be one of my top bets   (one of the guys - unless GASP!!! It's Jana!)

Jinjer announces a pregnancy (Oh, I hope NOT!!)  

Dickwit and Jill are opening up a church 

And my favorite - SOMEONE GOT A JOB!!!

 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I've never actually been to a wedding where a meal wasn't served. It's just not done in my circle. But I guess if that's the norm for them then oh well. I just know the Bontragers wedding is more like what I'm used to. And it's not really a fancy thing or a money thing. I've been to weddings where it was outside, no one was dressed up, and it was a BBQ. 

Basically we aren't fancy and we effing love to eat. Which reminds me. It's about time for second breakfast....

[Carm_88]

People were saying about this being cheaper then the Duggar daughters' weddings. Um do you remember parking lot sundaes in November? I'm not sure what Jill had but it wasn't much better. They never serve a big meal. 

Have I ever been to a wedding without a sit down meal? No. Wedding traditions and expectations vary from place to place. Fundies are a whole subculture. 

[Jana814]

My cousin got married in 2002. She didn't have much of a cocktail hour. But she did have a sit down meal. 

[SeekingAdventure]

@Carm_88 IIRC she had rootbeer floats. melted ones.  I'm a bit sad I know that, shows how long I've been watching them already.. baaaaah

[WiseGirl]

1 hour ago, MoonFace said:

Ok - lets start guessing on what the wedding surprise 

And my favorite - SOMEONE GOT A JOB!!!

Surely you jest. 

Duggars don't feed guests at weddings. Never forget that  they are Fundamentalist Christians in a specific cult and those rules hold sway over everything.

[VelociRapture]

27 minutes ago, SeekingAdventure said:

@Carm_88 IIRC she had rootbeer floats. melted ones.  I'm a bit sad I know that, shows how long I've been watching them already.. baaaaah

This is correct. The episode featured a ridiculously staged scene where someone left the freezer door ajar by accident and a very frazzled Sierra freaking the fuck out because they had to remake all of them in just a few short hours. They managed it just fine.

They also had cake, lemonade, and popcorn if I remember correctly. 

Only food I remember at Jessa's wedding was the sundaes. They featured different ice cream flavors, brownies, toppings, candy, and cookies. I doubt they didn't have anything else offered, I just don't remember.

2 hours ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

Is there some type of fundie/Gothard standard on food at a wedding?  I'm Italian and from NJ so weddings are food filled affairs, so while I really don't get the idea of not feeding your guests after they've given up their evening for you and most likely given you a gift, I would like to understand the why of it.  (I'm also new here so I haven't been around for previous wedding discussions).

(Because you're new and asked so nicely. )

These families tend to have very large guests lists (to give you an idea, Jessa and Jill both had around 1,000 guests I believe.) Many of the families do not have much money to work with, so they tend to not offer very much when it comes to food. Even big families like the Duggars tend to follow this pattern, likely because that's the norm for them.

They could trim the guest list, but that's difficult to do when you're expected to invite entire families. The Bateses alone add about 35 people when you count the spouses, grandkids, and significant others. These weddings also serve as the main social functions in their way of life as well, so they tend to invite everyone.

The Duggars seem to go with a modified version of the cake and punch reception I mentioned in another post. Other families offer other foods, like finger sandwiches, but the Duggars generally don't really do that - the exception was Josh's wedding, but that was because Anna's family was responsible for most of it. As long as guests know what to expect there's nothing wrong with throwing this type of wedding.

Heres a post from two years ago. It's by @Mama Miaand concerns the wedding of Brandon and Michael (Bates) Keilen, but I think it sums things up nicely:

 

[lumpentheologie]

12 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Cupcakes and store bought snacks sound a-ok to me. Not sure what the issue is, if your wedding/reception isn't held during a regular meal time, you're not expected to provide your guests a full meal. If all someone can think about at your reception is that you're cheap for serving store bought pretzels, oh well, their loss.

Totally agree that snacks are fine if it's not during a meal time and your guests know what to expect.  But they got married at 7pm, right? To me, that's right at the beginning of dinner time (usually between 7 and 9). I get that some of these families with kids might eat earlier, but if it takes on average 2 hours to shower, do your hair and makeup, get dressed, and get yourself to the wedding from wherever you're staying, how are you supposed to fit eating into that?  In general I think formal evening events that start before 9 and don't provide food are pretty inconsiderate of their guests. 

I bet a lot of the guests were hungry and couldn't wait to pick up something to eat after they left. 

[freethemall]

12 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Cupcakes and store bought snacks sound a-ok to me. Not sure what the issue is, if your wedding/reception isn't held during a regular meal time, you're not expected to provide your guests a full meal. If all someone can think about at your reception is that you're cheap for serving store bought pretzels, oh well, their loss.

They had an evening wedding, called it "formal", and of course especially for them weddings are considered very special affairs and people travel from all over to come. Most of these people are probably skipping their dinner to eat a snack fit for a child. Anything less than a decent dinner is disgusting.

[Four is Enough]

Dinnertime at 7-9? I'm sorry, but I'm cracking up. We eat at 5. Personal choice, of course, but if we ate even at 7, we couldn't sleep until after 11, and my husband goes to bed at 9...

[Chickenbutt]

14 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

These weddings also serve as the main social functions in their way of life as well, so they tend to invite everyone.

I giggled when I read this. Made me think of the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. A good old barn raising for the boys to meet girls. I think Fundie wedding are the equivalent to barn raisings. Someone gets married, everyone attends and the unmarrieds get to scope out the other unmarrieds and before you know it, another wedding. And the cycle starts all over again. 

ETA: And they get the barn raised...lol

[lumpentheologie]

12 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Dinnertime at 7-9? I'm sorry, but I'm cracking up. We eat at 5. Personal choice, of course, but if we ate even at 7, we couldn't sleep until after 11, and my husband goes to bed at 9...

When do you get off work?  Most people I know work until 6, at least, and get home maybe around 7. If you're making dinner yourself that means eating at 7:30 at the earliest. 

I usually eat at 8 and go to bed at 10:30, it never occurred to me that you would need hours and hours between dinner and bed. 

But my point was that even if you eat at 5 (which seems ridiculously early for me), how can you do that and still be at a wedding by 7? 

[fluffernutter]

I wonder if the local restaurants are giddy when there is a fundie wedding? Because the first thing I'd be thinking is I Want Food. I can just see the local places getting flooded with conversion vans post-reception.