Joy and Austin 13: Another Duggar Pregnancy Grandbaby 10

[speller24]

11 hours ago, SadieJane said:

Almanzo was my first closet crush when I was like 10, watching all the Little House episodes. Get yourself an Almanzo, Jana. lmao

We are the same person. Almanzo was so fine. A gent, and a looker. If Jana doesn't get him, I want him. 

[SadieJane]

Can I just say that I, like most of us doubt that this was a pre wedding baby. Girl just got it good on her honeymoon.

[calimojo]

Joy looks further along than 12-15 weeks,  that is pretty indisputable.  But that doesn't mean she IS further along.  It seems unlikely this baby was conceived prior to the wedding. I think we all know that. 

I will say though,  that Joy's wedding felt very rushed to me.  Even the way it was filmed felt rushed.  I think the attraction was strong with these two, and JB needed to make it legal really quick so they could start enjoying all of that sweet fellowship. 

The only thing I do wonder about, is if there is anyway that the actual wedding was earlier than we were led to believe?  Is it possible, knowing how much the Duggars mess with timelines, that these kids got married sooner? 

I feel badly for anyone who has a honeymoon baby.  That first year of marriage is a challenge.  So much to learn, so many things to work out, compromises, adaptations, etc.  For some couples it is fun and for others it can be a strain.  I think having a kid early in marriage is fine.  I am not one who believes people have to wait for years, unless of course that is what they want.  But even if the happy couple wants to get pregnant ASAP,  I would still advise them to wait a year.  A year goes by quickly.  But it gives you time to figure out how the two of you manage money, how the division of labor works out between you, how you handle stress, how you fight.

[singsingsing]

17 minutes ago, calimojo said:

Joy looks further along than 12-15 weeks,  that is pretty indisputable.

That's not indisputable at all. I've personally known women who look exactly like her, maybe even a little bigger, at the same point in their pregnancies. Google image search '12 weeks pregnant' or '14 weeks pregnant' and you'll see women who look exactly like Joy. What is actually indisputable is that different women carry differently and can look vastly different at the exact same point in their pregnancies.

[pamplemousse]

16 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Oh...and I just found out that there's a new grandbaby on the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!

Add me to the list of people who thinks Joy and Austin didn't do anything to conceive that baby until after the wedding. IMO, the Kool-Aid is too strong in Joy to have done anything before they were married.

[onekidanddone]

2 hours ago, speller24 said:

We are the same person. Almanzo was so fine. A gent, and a looker. If Jana doesn't get him, I want him.

Me three!  I wanted to marry Almanzo when I was in the 4th grade. I read the books over and over.

[fluffernutter]

23 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

That's not indisputable at all. I've personally known women who look exactly like her, maybe even a little bigger, at the same point in their pregnancies. Google image search '12 weeks pregnant' or '14 weeks pregnant' and you'll see women who look exactly like Joy. What is actually indisputable is that different women carry differently and can look vastly different at the exact same point in their pregnancies.

Yes! I'm 5'1 on a good day and have always been more curvy. I showed almost right away, and my boobs got huge within a month or two as well. There is no reason in the world to think they had anything going on before they got married. 

[onekidanddone]

On 8/31/2017 at 9:35 PM, SapphireSlytherin said:

I'm 50. I've been asked if I was pregnant (seriously y'all - don't ever ask that no matter what). I always laugh and respond:

I've put on a lot of weight and people who've hadn't seen me in a while would really notice the difference, as I used to be rail thin.  Anyway I ran into an old boyfriend who took one look at me and said "Congratulations! You're pregnant. When did you get married?  I wasn't either of those.  

Nice to be reminded on why he was an EX  

[shiverful]

1 hour ago, calimojo said:

I will say though,  that Joy's wedding felt very rushed to me.  Even the way it was filmed felt rushed.  I think the attraction was strong with these two, and JB needed to make it legal really quick so they could start enjoying all of that sweet fellowship. 

What made it look rushed to you? The span of the engagement and courtship was pretty normal concidering Duggar-standards, and unlike many of the other couples (Jill and Derek who startet courting only days after first meeting - I am looking at you!) they had known each other for a long time. 

The timeline on the show is a bit confusing though. They were already engaged when we saw the courtship-proposal, and TLC showed the wedding before any of the preparations, the same as with Jinger and Jeremy. By this time the show is so behind that we'll probably not se the preparations for Joken's wedding before they've had their first child or something. 

[calimojo]

I don't mean that they rushed to get married, at least not by duggar standards, I meant that the actual wedding, the ceremony, the way it was filmed just had a rushed feeling to it. 

[VelociRapture]

16 hours ago, anaandrade said:

I think she's due in March. I do wonder how far along she really is, mainly because it seems they announced really early. She can't be any more than 16 weeks. I sincerely hope she has this kid in mid March simply because if she has it any earlier, people are gonna be more convinced she has sex before marriage, which we know it's not true. She already looks pretty big as it is. I hope they announce a due date. What's the earliest you can find out your pregnant? How many weeks?

It very much depends on the person and the pregnancy. For me:

Pregnancy 1 (miscarriage): Found out about 13 days after I likely conceived, putting me at 3w6d.

Pregnancy 2 (34 week live birth): Found out around 9 days after I likely conceived, putting me at 3w2d.

I used First Response both times, as well as Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) because I have irregular cycles and no idea when I was supposed to ovulate. Many pregnant women will get a positive result around 2 weeks after they conceive, which puts them at 4 weeks pregnant. 

Disclaimer (for our Pregnant/TTC Posters): This is not guaranteed to happen to everyone and in no way indicated a healthy pregnancy. So please don't worry if you got a positive result much later. I'm just highly impatient and was lucky to have good quality tests.

[speller24]

1 hour ago, onekidanddone said:

Me three!  I wanted to marry Almanzo when I was in the 4th grade. I read the books over and over.

3rd grade for me! I bought the whole set, and wouldn't put it down. I was so freaking obsessed. I live in Minnesota, and still haven't been to Walnut Grove. One day. 

[calimojo]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

That's not indisputable at all. I've personally known women who look exactly like her, maybe even a little bigger, at the same point in their pregnancies. Google image search '12 weeks pregnant' or '14 weeks pregnant' and you'll see women who look exactly like Joy. What is actually indisputable is that different women carry differently and can look vastly different at the exact same point in their pregnancies.

Woah Nelly,  The truth is that Joy looks larger than MOST women pregnant with a first baby at around 12 weeks, which is what she said she was.  Obviously there is a lot of variation in how women carry babies.  I have cared for women  who at full term barely looked pregnant and had 8lb+ babies.  I have cared for women who looked hugely pregnant and barely had a 6 pounder.    So when I made my statement it was about the average person, not those who carry larger or smaller than most.  There are always extremes at either end of the curve, but in general, compared to most normal weight women, with a first pregnancy she looks larger than average. 

The very fact that people all over the Duggar interested internet are talking about her looking big for her gestational age supports my assertion.  Many of the people commenting are people who have had babies, know people who have had babies, etc.  So they are people living under a rock and have no idea of what a normal pregnant shape looks like. 

You will see up thread an opinion that was offered by an obstetrician that also indicates she looks large for her most likely gestational age of somewhere between 12 and 15 weeks.  Even when you compare her to her own sisters at the same approximate point in pregnancy she is carrying larger. 

It seems very unlikely she got pregnant before marriage.  It seems entirely likely that she carries large or perhaps is having twins.    We know in general the Duggar girls have had big babies.  Joy will probably have a good sized peanut as well. 

[SuffolkNWhat]

I looked huge with my first and she was 6lb 7, as I said before a lot of it is due to placenta placement 

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, calimojo said:

I feel badly for anyone who has a honeymoon baby.  That first year of marriage is a challenge.  So much to learn, so many things to work out, compromises, adaptations, etc.  For some couples it is fun and for others it can be a strain.  I think having a kid early in marriage is fine.  I am not one who believes people have to wait for years, unless of course that is what they want.  But even if the happy couple wants to get pregnant ASAP,  I would still advise them to wait a year.  A year goes by quickly.  But it gives you time to figure out how the two of you manage money, how the division of labor works out between you, how you handle stress, how you fight.

Most people these days figure these things out before getting married. That is, outside of fundamentalism of course. I don't know anyone in my generation (late 20s) who hadn't been with his/her spouse for several years before getting married. Almost everyone lived together before marriage (the only couple I know who didn't live together before they got married didn't due to financial reasons, but they spent all of their time at each other's houses). Certainly everyone had figured out how to fight by the time they got married. No one I know needed to get to know their spouse after marriage. Everyone knew the person they were getting married to. So I don't see a reason not to have a honeymoon baby, if that is what the couple wants. The days where you're really only getting to know your spouse after marriage are over for the vast majority of people in the Western world. Outside of fringe groups like the people we follow here on FJ.

[singsingsing]

11 minutes ago, calimojo said:

Woah Nelly,  The truth is that Joy looks larger than MOST women pregnant with a first baby at around 12 weeks, which is what she said she was.

You said, "Joy looks further along than 12-15 weeks,  that is pretty indisputable." My point stands - it's not indisputable. And unless I missed something, Joy has not given a due date or discussed how far along she is. She could be 12 weeks, or, if she really got pregnant on her honeymoon, she could be more like 16 weeks.

[closetcagebaby]

12 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Does anyone know of quiverfull families where someone got married under the age of 18 witht heir parents permission?

Not quiverfull, but fundie Jessiqua Wittman was 16 or 17 I think when she married her much older husband. Go read that courtship story if you need a rabbit hole!

[jqlgoblue]

23 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I lean more towards mental health issues, and I don't mean that in a snarky way.  It seems as though he was happiest/coping best when he was solo and doing whatever he was doing in Nepal.  Now with a wife and kids and under public scrutiny via the reality show that both gives and takes, he seems very unwell, certainly physically but likely mentally as well.

The latest grifting attempt was weird even by their standards. 

Ditto.

I think I have said this before but depression can lead to a variety seeking and lack of regard for other people's emotions (selfish decision making). In relationships, one person being depressed can lead the other to be depressed as well. This is a great recipe for codependence (which I think we see here too).

[Season of life...]

17 hours ago, SadieJane said:

Almanzo was my first closet crush when I was like 10, watching all the Little House episodes. Get yourself an Almanzo, Jana. lmao

I loved Dean Butler's portrayal of Almanzo!  I thought Almanzo's character in the books was very heroic; I read my copies of The Long Winter and Farmer Boy to rags.

The real "Manly" wasn't too shabby, either.

Spoiler

 

[Nikedagain?]

8 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Re: fundies getting married before 18, wasn't there that 17-year-old who married a woman in her early 20s? I think his name was Taylor? Was he still 17 when they married?

Oh, and not fundie at the time, but Michelle was 17 when she married Jim Bob. I kind of feel like the Duggars would be hesitant about letting their 16/17-year-old get married but not necessarily opposed. There's a really strong belief in the conservative Christian community that adolescence is more or less a modern fiction and that young marriage is a beautiful thing that should be hoped and prayed for. I've noticed it's starting to turn around a little (like a lot of the more 'fundie lite' types have realized, hey, maybe getting married at 18 to someone you've been 'courting' for three months isn't always the wisest choice) but not so much amongst full blown fundies. 

Off topic! (kind of)

There is a FB page that a friend sent me ( I am tech challenged and do not know how to link it..) about a young mom and her baby who are missing from Az. Y'all. It's a straight up HOT MESS. This girl got married at 17 (with the blessing of her parents) and now at 19 seems to have absconded with the baby (maybe? or is she dead? kidnapped? soo many theories) just to keep the father from seeing him. Rabbit ass crazy. 

(search this: Missing Help Find Baby William Jones-Gouchenour and Madeline Jones, if you're interested!)

[SapphireSlytherin]

I went to De Smet, South Dakota, a couple of weeks ago on a road trip. I was SO excited to see the Little Town on the Prairie where the Long Winter took place, and it's on the Shores of Silver Lake.

Seriously BESIDE MYSELF.

Sadly, I left underwhelmed and disappointed. All the "Laura" buildings have been grouped together (school, church, Surveyor's House, and a recreation of the Brewster School). The Ingalls' homestead was a huge lot with a theater and a gift shop plus they charged admission just to walk through the gate. You couldn't even wander outside the buildings.

I've been to the Little House in the Big Woods (you can just walk right in!), and to Laura & Almanzo's last home in Mansfield, Missouri. That house is amazing. Almanzo built it for Laura, to "fit" her. Everything was TINY. Almanzo was apparently a small man, too - perhaps just a shade over 5' tall?

[singsingsing]

@SapphireSlytherin Aw, that kinda sucks... I'm a huge Little House on the Prairie fan (book series - I never really watched the show) and would love to see some of the actual locations.

I never heard that Almanzo was short, but Laura for sure was tiny. They were both very good looking people. Almanzo definitely seemed like a heroic and all around decent guy (at least, that's how she wrote him). You do kind of have to get past the creep factor of how young she was when he started scoping her out, but hey, that was normal for the time and place. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Yeah, she was young. Had her daughter when she was (gasp!) 19.

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Yeah, she was young. Had her daughter when she was (gasp!) 19.

iirc she was about 13, so he would've been 23, when he started kind of sort of 'getting to know her' (as the fundies would say). And she was 15 when he was driving her back and forth from that awful place she lived while teaching school. They had a very lengthy courtship by fundie standards, though, and went out alone together constantly. They definitely had ample time to get to know each other before they got married. She was very, very prepared to be a wife and run a home. And the frank reality is that there just wasn't much choice when it came to marriage, especially for men, out there in the late 19th century. Looking at your neighbour's 13-year-old daughter and thinking, "Hmm, she seems like she'd make a great wife in a few years" would be totally creepy and unacceptable now, but back then it was just good sense. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

19 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

<snip>

She was very, very prepared to be a wife and run a home. And the frank reality is that there just wasn't much choice when it came to marriage, especially for men, out there in the late 19th century. Looking at your neighbour's 13-year-old daughter and thinking, "Hmm, she seems like she'd make a great wife in a few years" would be totally creepy and unacceptable now, but back then it was just good sense. 

Oh, I know. I was just being facetious.

Meant to say this, too. When I was in first grade, one of the children of the family that moved from De Smet to Missouri, Paul Cooley, came to visit my classroom and talked to us about Laura. He was ANCIENT then, and died just a few years later. So there's my connection to Laura.