Maxwell 10: Following the 15 minute schedule and the monthly menu

[uber frau]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

You can typically smell cinnamon when you sprinkle it too. I think Terri must be completely checked out where she is just going through motions. 

You can SEE the difference. One is dk orangey red and the other is a mid-brown*.  But apparently the Holy Schedule didn't dictate that they check. 

*In their defence, I can imagine that the Maxwell's spices are so old they've devolved into that stage where they're  practically house dust and nobody can tell the difference between cayenne and coriander.

[catlady]

since most of my spice containers are the same size and shape, i have this bizarre habit of *reading the labels* before opening the lids.    

[Eternalbluepearl]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

You can typically smell cinnamon when you sprinkle it too. I think Terri must be completely checked out where she is just going through motions. 

According to Teri's own descriptions of herself through the years, I don't think she was ever checked in. That's how she remains unaware that her and her family live in a cult run by Steve. 

[church_of_dog]

Actually, they *can* look very similar -- I suppose it depends on variety as well as perhaps how fresh they are?  But I use both cinnamon and cayenne often enough to have an additional (unlabelled) shaker of each them on my counter, on my dish/tray of frequently used stuff (along with salt, pepper, tamari, olive oil, and rice vinegar).

To me, the cinnamon definitely has a noticeable smell, but that only helps AFTER you shake it.  The cinnamon is also more finely ground, more powdery, but when I'm making my oatmeal in the morning without my glasses on, I don't always notice.  The color is remarkably similar, especially when the shakers are running low.

So my solution:  The cayenne goes in a unique place on the tray:  in the center.  That way I don't have to be all that alert when I grab them and give ONE shake of cayenne into my oatmeal along with three or four shakes of the cinnamon...  And yes, I came up with that idea after getting them mixed up once... 

[Justmurrayed]

I never want to mix up cinnamon and cayenne so I read the labels on my spice jars at least twice. It is remarkable though that it shows how checked out Teri still is, and still probably doesn't have her depression in check. I understand her being checked out when you live with small children but her kids are grown up and with her schedule she rarely sees her grandkids so it should be in check but clearly she needs real professional help and not just from Sky Santa and Steve. 

[molecule]

I've often been close to mixing up cinnamon and cumin with each other, so I both read the label and smell before I actually use it.

This bothered me a bit in Teri's post:

Quote

Once I confessed my struggles with depression to my church family, I began to heal. They hadn’t known what I was dealing with inside.

I really hope she doesn't mean "confess" in terms of confessing a sin but means that she shared something she'd kept secret. Depression is not a sin, for pete's sake. 

What church family is she referring to here? They went to actual church before creating the Church of Stevehova, right?

[danvillebelle]

Come to think of it...why is cayenne pepper even present in Chez Maxhell?  It's not like they've ever cooked a recipe with actual heat (let alone flavor).  

[Alicepooh]

23 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Come to think of it...why is cayenne pepper even present in Chez Maxhell?  It's not like they've ever cooked a recipe with actual heat (let alone flavor).  

In the past, they have shared some sort of Mexican-style food, so I guess that's where the cayenne pepper comes into the picture. 

[nomoxian]

I use cayenne pepper like other people use salt. To me it's a completely different colour (dark red) compared to cinnamon (brown)

I have them set up in a way that makes sense for cooking - like cayenne is next to paprika, oregano is next to basil, and cinnamon is in a seperate area along with sugar and flour. Despite this, I glance at labels before grabbing the spices; though I guess it also helps that the labels are written in German, because Cinnamon and Cayenne don't start with the same letter.

[mango_fandango]

The post doesn't actually say they mixed up cayenne and cinnamon; John suggested they used something different and cayenne happened to be next to cinnamon in the cupboard. What's the betting that the Maxwell spice and herb jars are arranged in the cupboard alphabetically? I know some of you may do similar, but this is the Maxwells. I can't imagine them storing their spices and herbs all willy-nilly without any semblance of order.

[Mommit]

Per Teri: "On this occasion, though, after one pie-crust bite, John said, “Mom, I wonder if you put something other than cinnamon on the pie crust.” Sure enough, cayenne pepper sits in the spice cupboard right next to cinnamon, and that’s what was liberally sprinkled on the pie crust."

Teri's writing sucks, but I do believe the message she's trying to convey is that she accidentally used cayenne instead of cinnamon. I had to read it several times until I realized it! It's John's quote that is totally confusing.  He's trying to say, "Mom, I think you fucked up and put something other than cinnamon on the pie crust." It actually could've been a funny story if it was written in a coherent way and with humor. Instead, we get Teri's stilted quote of John and she used it as an opportunity for a teaching us about being saved by Jesus.

It also makes me wonder if they speak like that in real life. Sarah is the queen of stilted quotes. Do they all suck as writers or speakers? Or both?

[PennySycamore]

@danvillebelle,  I remember that episode of LHOP!  Wasn't Nellie trying to impress a guy (Almanzo maybe? or was it the guy she married?) with her stellar cooking skills except that she couldn't cook her way out of a paper bag so she got Laura to help?

[danvillebelle]

7 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@danvillebelle,  I remember that episode of LHOP!  Wasn't Nellie trying to impress a guy (Almanzo maybe? or was it the guy she married?) with her stellar cooking skills except that she couldn't cook her way out of a paper bag so she got Laura to help?

Yes, it was Almanzo.

LHOP Nerd Alert:  that incident is loosely tied to an actual event, only it happened to Laura's daughter Rose, not Laura herself.  I discovered this when I got the Laura Ingalls Wilder Country Cookbook.  Apparently Laura was famous for her gingerbread (the soft kind you cut in squares and eat like cake).  Rose wanted to try to make it herself; the pastor happened by that afternoon while Rose was home alone and she was so proud she had the gingerbread to offer him.  He ate a bite, coughed and turned red, valiantly finished his piece then left.  When Laura and Almanzo came home that night, they all had a piece.  Her description was "it seemed to blister our tongues."  

[Eternalbluepearl]

I'll say it again...The Maxwells must have no audience. A grandma making pie crust in her spacious kitchen to serve to her adult son must be dull as dishwater to young fundie mommies drowning in kids, cracker crumbs and laundry. At the same time the blog clearly isn't about cooking. It's like Seinfeld. A blog about nothing.

[freejugar]

I was expecting a cayenne pepper affiliate link

[mango_fandango]

Oh I get it now. Jesus, Teri's writing is appalling. And John's phrasing, if it is verbatim, is bizarre. Most people would say "Did you put cayenne pepper on this?" or "Hey Mom this isn't cinnamon!" But then the Maxwells aren't most people. 

And OF COURSE Teri has to make it into some Jesus shit. These people are so goddamn boring. 

[singsingsing]

I never really watched the TV series, but in The First Four Years (the last book in the series), Laura is cooking for all the men who are there helping with the harvest, and she forgets to add sugar to the pie. 

[Black Aliss]

3 hours ago, Mommit said:

Per Teri: "On this occasion, though, after one pie-crust bite, John said, “Mom, I wonder if you put something other than cinnamon on the pie crust.” Sure enough, cayenne pepper sits in the spice cupboard right next to cinnamon, and that’s what was liberally sprinkled on the pie crust."

Teri's writing sucks, but I do believe the message she's trying to convey is that she accidentally used cayenne instead of cinnamon. I had to read it several times until I realized it! It's John's quote that is totally confusing.  He's trying to say, "Mom, I think you fucked up and put something other than cinnamon on the pie crust."

John couldn't phrase it in such a way as to suggest Teri had made a mistake, just like Teri couldn't call Steve and remind him to pick up a pizza on the way home. He had to couch it in more speculative terms, i.e., "I wonder if" not "I think you".

[PennySycamore]

The mistaking of ingredients reminds of that scene in Coal Miner's Daughter  where Loretta makes a pie for the box social and it looks great.  Doo bids on the pie so he can get to know Loretta better.  He takes a big bite and immediately takes a bigger drink of water.  Loretta had mixed up the salt and the sugar!  He does say that he understood how they could have gotten mixed up since they're both white.  I wish I could find that video, but I can't.  Teri should not, could not have mixed up the cinnamon and cayenne.

[Myfanwy]

Well clearly there was not nearly enough praying before making those pies. Otherwise the Lord would have been paying attention and with his guiding hand made sure the right spice was used! /sarcastic as hell!

[FloraDoraDolly]

11 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I call bullshit on the cayenne/cinnamon mix-up.  There is no way you wouldn't smell that, either while sprinkling it on or the second it came out of the oven.

Also - someone at Maxhell has been sneaking episodes of Little House; the great cayenne/cinnamon chicken mix-up that Laura pulled on Nellie Oleson, Season 5.  

That was my first thought, too! But Laura did it on purpose and Nellie couldn't cook, so she wouldn't have known the difference. (Little House was on before the Maxwells banned TV, so it's very possible that Teri saw this episode back in the day.)

5 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@danvillebelle,  I remember that episode of LHOP!  Wasn't Nellie trying to impress a guy (Almanzo maybe? or was it the guy she married?) with her stellar cooking skills except that she couldn't cook her way out of a paper bag so she got Laura to help?

It was Almanzo. He was new in town and Harriet Oleson arranged for him to have a special dinner with Nellie. Since neither of them could cook, Laura "volunteered" to do the cooking.

[CyborgKin]

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Oh I get it now. Jesus, Teri's writing is appalling. And John's phrasing, if it is verbatim, is bizarre. Most people would say "Did you put cayenne pepper on this?" or "Hey Mom this isn't cinnamon!" But then the Maxwells aren't most people. 

Their 'Good Conversationalists' book is sprinkled with 'example conversations' written in exactly the same style.  So either they really talk like that, they never read their books aloud, or they think books aren't meant to sound like real conversation (which defeats the purpose of writing a book about conversation).

9 hours ago, molecule said:

This bothered me a bit in Teri's post:

I really hope she doesn't mean "confess" in terms of confessing a sin but means that she shared something she'd kept secret. Depression is not a sin, for pete's sake. 

You can hope, but I wouldn't bet against it.

This mistake could never happen in my kitchen.  The cayenne and cinnamon are kept in completely different places. The cinnamon is right next to the ground tumeric and the chilli powder though!

[Closed Womb]

4 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I never really watched the TV series, but in The First Four Years (the last book in the series), Laura is cooking for all the men who are there helping with the harvest, and she forgets to add sugar to the pie. 

And it was a "pie plant" pie, which I later found out is rhubarb.  I cannot imagine (love rhubarb, but not without sugar.) 

[mango_fandango]

The Moody kids all talk bizarrely too. "I imagine it's a cougar! Time is of the utmost importance!" 

LOL seriously Sarah no one talks like that. Not forgetting one of my favorite snippets:

Quote

 “I can’t believe I did that. Now I have a problem. My shoe goes squish, squish, squish because it and my sock are wet.” He sat down and pulled off his shoe. “What am I going to do? I didn’t bring any extra socks because I didn’t count on falling into the stream. I know! I’ll change socks around, and put my wet sock in my dry shoe and maybe it’ll dry faster that way.”

(Mitch falling into the stream in book 10 aka the predictable Colorado trip)

[Justmurrayed]

9 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

The Moody kids all talk bizarrely too. "I imagine it's a cougar! Time is of the utmost importance!" 

LOL seriously Sarah no one talks like that. Not forgetting one of my favorite snippets:

(Mitch falling into the stream in book 10 aka the predictable Colorado trip)

WTF is happening. No one talks like that but especially not kids,