Counting On: Season Four

[Bad Wolf]

@Cheetah Hugs to your mom. I see our priest's wife under scrutiny sometimes, and we're a pretty liberal, welcoming, congregation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't sometimes.

[cascarones]

I briefly dated a minister and got serious enough I was helping him with a lot of the service work, his congregation had a lot elderly and at home individuals that he would individually go and spend fellowship with. I'd go, cook and prepare them a set of meals, but everyone is very right about the scrutiny. In my case I wasn't part of his congregation so that first trip went like this:

Where is she? I've heard she's Catholic, my so and so was in CCD with her. Let's swarm her over punch. It was overwhelming, but I did find out he was in the midst of a divorce (something he had neglected to mention and caused me to walk away) and that they all thought I was a peach pie making homewrecker. His amicably divorcing wife still attended church, cue awkwardness. You add in all the in church rivalries, "Oh sweetheart, don't mind her, she's an old bag, your dress is perfectly lovely if a bit on the short side."

cascarones ran for it, or tried to anyway, some of them had wormed my phone number out of me to invite me to things and he tried to pressure through them. Tried to ask if I would go a few more weeks so he didn't look bad. 

So I hope Jinger's got a really nice congregation, I hadn't thought about how growing up on tv had really prepared her for it, but @elvirajane is so right! Is Ben trying to get into pastoral work as well? Didn't he start speaking at conferences?

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 hours ago, GreenTea said:

Pastor's Wife, where you make your own schedule, lead a Bible study (which she has done all her life), and throw baby showers, etc = Not a Hard Job (in my opinion) 

I have a friend who is a pastors wife and they have a pretty good sized congregation now of about 450 to 500 people but from 1995 to 2004 they had about 100 members and grew to about 200 by 04, they at met at the local high school gym, they bough an office space about 2001. Her husband was on call 24/7 365 days a year for years. For 5 years of their marriage (when they had 4 young kids at home) the church office was their home, so they had church members/meetings and such in there small 1100 sq foot home 6 days a week most weeks.  She had to take care of the kids, keep the house spotless (hard to do with 3 boys between the ages of 1 and 7),  she was also pregnant for 9 of those months and then had a new born and 3 rowdy boys to deal with along with PPD (which was God telling them NO MORE KIDS according to them).  When the office moved out of the house her husband was gone 12 hours a day leaving her home lone with 4 kids, plus she had to lead 2 weekly women's bible studies, help coordinate (with me since I was in charge of it) the children's Sunday morning School and another woman who did the Sunday evening kids worship service,  and help out another lady who ran the Wednesday evening children's worship service. Not to mention meet people with her husband going to grieving families home to help clean up watch kids cook food  for them, visiting new moms, visiting people in the hospital  She worked 40+ hours a week OUTSIDE the home, while taking care of 4 kids at the same time, and she didn't get paid a dime.  It is one of the hardest jobs you can have when you're starting out a small church.   

[Mr. Pink]

I'm a pastor's wife. I really think it can be as easy or as hard as you make it. The hardest part for me is that my husband has to work every single holiday, every single year and it's very unlikely that will change for the rest of his career. The on-call aspect of his work doesn't bother me too much. I really don't consider my role in the church to be 'a job' in any sense of that word. I'm involved in what I would be even if I wasn't married to the pastor.

As far as the scrutiny goes.... I've really mastered the art of just not giving a fuck. It might just happen to have worked out that the participation I do on my on accord is "enough" for the members of the congregation so they go pretty easy on me. I know some are annoyed when I don't attend every event but I just let it roll of my back.

/End anecdotes that doesn't apply to every pastor's wife, and certainly not Jinger.

[cascarones]

I know Counting On is more focused on the girls, but any thoughts on the boys ALERT academy stuff being focused now that there's an engagement? Or is that one of the portions of their life they'll edit out since it's less mainstream/ has negative connotations? Nothing against the Duggars there, just where I grew up attending military style academy camps or schools was usually code for problem child.

I don't think that's what or why their boys go, I'm just curious how they're viewed at large. I'm also from a military family so I could definitely be way off base in my assumptions.

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Mr. Pink said:

I'm a pastor's wife. 

As far as the scrutiny goes.... I've really mastered the art of just not giving a fuck. 

 

What kind of church do you attended? I have to admit I love a pastors wife who says fuck! 

[VelociRapture]

32 minutes ago, cascarones said:

I know Counting On is more focused on the girls, but any thoughts on the boys ALERT academy stuff being focused now that there's an engagement? Or is that one of the portions of their life they'll edit out since it's less mainstream/ has negative connotations? Nothing against the Duggars there, just where I grew up attending military style academy camps or schools was usually code for problem child. That being said, I'm also from a military family so I could be way off base on how "military style" camps are viewed, especially religious ones.

No way are they showing that. It's bad enough the public knows about the IBLP connection. They aren't going to want to draw further attention to it by featuring it on the show.

[Mr. Pink]

1 minute ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

What kind of church do you attended? I have to admit I love a pastors wife who says fuck! 

I'm sure the ole' church ladies would clutch their pearls pretty tightly if they knew! I'm a Lutheran. I curse like a sailor in front of my husband and our friends (a lot of whom are also "pastor families"), but definitely not in front of church members.

[elvirajane]

1 hour ago, cascarones said:

Nothing against the Duggars there, just where I grew up attending military style academy camps or schools was usually code for problem child.

What do you do there? Is it just boot camp style physical exercise hoping that will make behavioural problems go away?

 

The whole idea is so foreign to me. Where I come from military has negative connotations, and I never heard about military camps for youth until I started following the duggars.

[mlsgregg]

The pastor's wife thing:

1. I'm an anxious person, so I'm sure I'm looking at the position through that lens. The idea of people scrutinizing me makes me want to flip a table over and run away.

2. Jinger may be more prepared than I initially thought. I hope so. I'd like to be a fly on the wall in any Bible study she might be asked to lead. I hope someone with a better education (Jeremy or otherwise) takes the time to help her understand things beyond the IBLP/KJV only perspective.

3. I wonder if my former pastor's wife was maybe kind of a drama queen. She had a lot of complaints toward the end. But maybe she just felt safe sharing with me. That skewed my view, I'm sure.

[Four is Enough]

3 hours ago, elvirajane said:

. Where I come from military has negative connotations, and I never heard about military camps for youth until I started following the duggars.

There used to be any number of military schools in the US. Some of them were "feeder" schools for the military academies. Others were pretty much places where families sent their "about to become juvenile delinquents" , hoping to get some "discipline" instilled into them along with a work ethic and some honesty.

 

[Lurky]

21 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think in some time periods/cultures, the contents of a hope chest was not a dowry, but insurance- if the man and wife separated, the wife kept the contents of her hope chest.

It's not if they separated, but what she'd get on the death of her husband, if their kids decided she didn't deserve anything else. And let's face it, even if they did separate, "you've been married for 25 years, had 5 kids the husband gets to keep by law [until the late 19th century, later in some countries], worked super-hard to support the household, but it's ok, you get to keep that 25 year old linen, crocheted doilies, cushions and everything else you brought into the marriage at 18" is a really, really shitty deal.   

Even doing it the S'Morton/wealthy British C18th way, where an amount of money was settled on the wife, is a shitty deal when you're a woman who's suddenly left with no protection.  Better hope your parents are still alive and can afford to take you in, otherwise it's hoping there's a nice almshouse in the neighbourhood that has room for you...

[Candydandy]

Will this be the season of Counting Off- as in counting off more Duggars married off. Don't blink littlest one cause it will your turn turn marching to your authority figure er husband er helpmeet. 

[Ace3]

On 5/31/2017 at 5:39 PM, mlsgregg said:

 

This just hit me. I hope that the people who attend their church are gracious and kind, because there can be a lot of pressure on a pastor's wife. There's a good chance she might be expected to organize women's events, oversee children's ministry, lead a Bible study group, host baby showers, do secretarial work... The list is endless. Plus she has to accept her husband being on-call 24/7. Gosh. That's got to be a huge and ongoing adjustment for Jinger.

 

Part of me thinks that it must be a relief for her to have her own life. She can go out alone if she wants, she can sleep in, read a book, watch tv or just hang out. Having those responsibilities may be exactly what she wants. She is used to doing things that involve a large number of people- this could just be a welcome extension of that AND she doesn't have to raise her parents children. Even hanging out with Jeremy and tending to her own home doesn't take up 15 hours of the day, so she'd have free time to explore some hobbies she couldn't before because she was raising her siblings. Who knows? She might flourish in this environment. 

[Dandruff]

Jinger used to be responsible for laundry for 20 (give or take), including parental bedding, howler-wear, and everybody's undies.  I suspect that whatever she's doing now seems like a walk in the park.

[JMO]

Has anyone else seen the new promos? I've been watching an obscene amount of Say Yes TTD so I've seen it at least 6 times. Showing footage of Joy's wedding. The promo group shot has the kids down to Josiah plus spouses including Austin (although he's not touching Joy so clearly shot prior to wedding ). No Anna in the promo. I wonder if they will build up to Joys wedding or start with it. 

[Carm_88]

1 minute ago, JMO said:

 I wonder if they will build up to Joys wedding or start with it. 

I think they're starting with it? Not 100%. 

[Markie]

I know the Duggars don't drink, but if they did, here are the drinks I think they'd go for:

Jim Bob - Scotch (the cheapest brand poured into an expensive brand bottle)

Michelle - Cherry Brandy - or something really sweet

Josh - same as his Old Man 

Anna- Does white wine pair well with Chickenetti?

Jana - Piña Colada (she might also like getting lost in the rain)

JD - JD (Jack Daniels)

Jill - Sangria (refreshing in Danger South Central America)

Derrick - Rum and Coke (rum is cheap in SA)

Jessa - Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri (she likes her blender)

Ben - Coolers (twist off caps are cool)

Jinger - Kailua (loves coffee)

Jeremy - Red Wine or good Whiskey 

Joseph - beer

Josiah - Martini

I think the rest are minors. Odd to think that Joy couldn't legally have a champagne toast at her wedding. Her man looks like he would like beer. 

[DillyDally]

36 minutes ago, JMO said:

I wonder if they will build up to Joys wedding or start with it. 

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

In the video message TLC published right after the wedding, Joy actually says "Watch our wedding episode on 12 June." I have been wondering why nobody else on FJ picked that up, guess not many people bothered to watch it to the end, hehe. Or, you know, the double hand holding was just too distracting.

[Kaylo]

The reintroduction of smuggar has begun. They just posted a picture on Facebook from Marcus's birthday with josh front and center.

[spookytwoshoes]

 

21 hours ago, Mr. Pink said:

I'm sure the ole' church ladies would clutch their pearls pretty tightly if they knew! I'm a Lutheran. I curse like a sailor in front of my husband and our friends (a lot of whom are also "pastor families"), but definitely not in front of church members.

 

Another pastor's wife here.  I am the same way. I say fuck, ass, damn. I am just cautious who I do it around to make sure I'm being respectful and shit. 

We are ELCA Lutheran. 

[Carm_88]

Man Michelle really is shrinking.  

[LKUK]

I know that they do use doctors and hospitals when needed but do you reckon that Michelle has seen a specialist? i sincerely hope so because all of the things people have been pointing out on FJ regards her health are kind of worrying.

Also in case you missed it TLC just released another little JoStin wedding/marriage reminder, at least Austin looks a bit more chill in this http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/newlyweds-joy-and-austin-forsyth-share-message-about-married-life/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=countingontlc&utm_medium=social&utm_content=DCItype+-+Blog+Articles&sf84919338=1

[Escadora]

@Carm_88  Goodness, you're right. And I mean this in a sincere way, she looks so tired and I don't know whether I'm projecting or not but that looks like the face of a desperate woman. Whether she's desperate to pee, sit down, or get away from the child is unclear, but she looks burdened.  Of course, I have limited sympathy for Michelle at this point, but it is sad to see how different she looks now than she did in that first ever TV special, where she looked healthy and even young for someone who'd had so many pregnancies. Josie and Jubilee really took their toll on her, I think. But again, limited sympathy, she could easily have chose to pack the clown car away at any time.

And Jim Bob is looking older. I admit I've not been keeping up with the parents since the 19KAC ended and so the image I had in my head of him was the hairspray-addled, not as middle aged looking kind of Jim Bob.  But then I guess he doesn't have to be beautiful and coiffed all the time now that he's got his adult offspring making his money for him.

[Four is Enough]

It's the hair dragging her down. It's too heavy.