Can we talk about Fundies and food?

[Bad Wolf]

@lawlifelgbtWe had to limit their protein intake and amount of calories in the beginning. One kid had gone to school through 3rd grade, and the other (12) had never been to school. They started out with teachers coming into the home, then transitioned into school. We worked on getting them physically healthy they were very weak to start with. We taught them to ride bikes, swim, go for walks etc. We exposed them to as many new things as possible, the ocean, camping, Disneyland and anything else we could think of. One of the hard things was not knowing what they did not know. The community was great, and he school district really accommodated them. We only had them for a year, the first year after they were found, but we keep in touch. It was exhausting. I think there was brain damage, as neither of them can hold down a job, but they can live independently. It was exhausting.

[melon]

My grandmother got married and had her first child ,during the Depression.Her father ran a cafeteria.She learned to cook,at a young age.She loved to garden,when she was able,she had a garden.She was an excellent cook.From fresh vegetables to homemade biscuits,and ice cream with a churn and rock salt.Peach Ice Cream or Chocolate...so good.She did not like canned soups,Stove Top  Stuffing or Kraft Macaroni and cheese,she thought that things like that,should be made yourself.

But she was very frugal.She bought skim milk because it was cheaper.My father hated milk,until he went into the Army and was given a glass of whole milk,in a diner.He said he did not know milk could taste that good.

My mother was a good cook,but she hated to cook.She did not enjoy cooking,at all.

I don't mind cooking.I'd say I am an average cook.I do some things better than others when it comes to cooking.

We have a standing joke with Melon son 1.He loves convenience food.He will buy it all the time.Hamburger Helper,Instant Potatoes,Stove Top Stuffing,Generic Macaroni and cheese in a box.....ugh..then expect me to cook that....ugh.Mr.Melon says our son can't make something unless it comes in a box...lol.He actually does fairly well...he can grill chicken,fry shrimp or fish...it's the other stuff.

My other son insists he cannot follow his diabetic diet because of the cost.I have told him,repeatedly.....shop around the sales,eat fruits and vegetables,in season and shop the perimeter of the store..I have heard that those are the best things to do, to shop wisely.

[FeministShrew]

I taught myself to cook after I got a part-time job & could buy my own ingredients.  Even though she couldn't cook other than burn everything, my mom was obsessed with cookbooks and recipes. She had boxes full of recipes from magazines and newspapers, and she bought every church or school fund-raising cookbook she was offered. She also had  2 Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks. I still have those & most of the fund-raising books. They were my source for recipes and I learned by trial & error.
Before that, I survived on fast food & snacks. All through school, my mom would stop at McDonald's or Hardee's after school so I could have a "snack," since school was over at 2-2:30 & we ate dinner around 5:30-6. By 6th grade I was eating 2 or 3 burgers and 2 orders of fries. That was pretty much my main daily meal, other than toast for breakfast and a ham sandwich at lunch. During the summers we would do the same thing for lunch. I would pick at my dinner til my dad went for a nap, then throw it out when my mom wasn't looking. I had stashes of potato chips and goldfish crackers in my room, and we always had ice cream in the freezer. And I drank god knows how many Pepsis a day, because our well water was disgusting.
With nutrition like that, no wonder I was overweight until after my oldest was born, when I finally started to figure out how to eat in a healthy way. 
 

A far as fundies & food, my kids' dad & his wife are moving further & further into batshit crazy territory. She homeschools, the two kids have no friends outside of the family, and they have their own church. (Ex is delusional & thinks he has a real congregation, FB streams his hour+ sermons, and encourages people to visit; his wife calls it a home church.) Several years ago, my kids noticed that the amount of food was dwindling. The stepkids have to ask for snacks, and for everything except water, and the portions for meals are very small for the kids and adults. No seconds.  Their explanation is that it's  to keep everyone from getting fat (ex & his wife are very overweight) and to teach them self control. 
 The boy is 15 and built like his bio dad, who is very tall and built like a linebacker. The girl is only 12. You just can't raise healthy teens on the limited food they're getting.
My oldest lived with them for a while & just bought their own food. They visit often now (that's how I know what's going on), and, because they're a natural peacemaker, eat what's offered, and stops for food on the way home. Younger son refuses to visit at all. The last time he ate there he point-blank told them that he needed more food and asked them if they were trying to starve his step brother to death.

[Jucifer]

3 hours ago, samurai_sarah said:

*snip*

But no, I won't iron. Doesn't mean I can't. And it certainly doesn't mean that "women today" can't iron!

I wish I could 'like' your post 100 times.

I haven't ironed in years. Whenever something is too wrinkled to wear around here, it gets thrown in the dryer for a few minutes. Works like a charm. ;D

[ADoyle90815]

1 hour ago, Jucifer said:

I haven't ironed in years. Whenever something is too wrinkled to wear around here, it gets thrown in the dryer for a few minutes. Works like a charm. ;D

My way of ironing is also to just throw something in the dryer for a few minutes if it's too wrinkled. In fact, if I didn't sew as a hobby, I wouldn't even own an iron.

As for Catholic guilt around food, I saw that in my dad's family, but it was more that my grandparents didn't have snacks available, even on holidays as you were expected to only eat at regular meal times. They did the typical holiday meals which were good for the most part, but they still felt extremely guilty for indulging as they never had appetizers set out before the main meal. My grandparents even took Catholic guilt to the point that they believed that if you get a disease, it was your fault because you loved food too much. My grandma even blamed herself for osteoporosis, even though it was because she had multiple pregnancies, and was a small, white woman.

[melon]

My grandmother was also a small, 5'2 , around 110lbs ,white woman.She had osteoporosis...said it was cause she did not drink milk,she hated milk.Her family was Baptist...she said she was a little girl in Sunday school and they talked about The Land of MIlk and Honey.My grandmother was worried that she would not have anything to eat.She did not like milk or honey...lol.

She also smoked non-filter Camels for nearly 50 years,and drank ,daily.I'd go as far as to say she and my grandfather were functioning alcoholics.They still worked,but every night they'd drink.I rarely saw them lose control,but I remember it a few times.

[louisa05]

4 hours ago, ADoyle90815 said:

 but they still felt extremely guilty for indulging as they never had appetizers set out before the main meal. 

My family has never had appetizers on a holiday. I never knew anyone who did until I met my CATHOLIC in-laws who are obsessed with having appetizers. 

In my maternal grandmother's house, you didn't need appetizers. Filling yourself up on that stuff before her amazing food would have just been a waste of stomach space. 

[MakeitSew]

My mom was and is a good cook but when we kids were really little we relied more on what I'd consider convenience foods - boxed mac n cheese with fried polish sausage, soups made with Uncle Ben's rice mix and cream cheese (which was actually pretty awesome), stove top stuffing with (home) cooked, cubed chicken breasts, tuna casserole, pasta. When we got older she taught us to cook and we all took turns preparing meals and food was more and more from-scratch. Usually we were on our own for breakfast (typically cereal and milk) and lunch (sandwiches or leftovers) but we had a nice, hot dinner every night.

 We were on the poor end of things but she was frugal and creative. She and my dad never applied for foodstamps, although she did get WIC. We always had milk, bread, eggs, pb&j and fresh fruits and veggies. She made her own bread and made yogurt at home. She always had a garden in the summer and although she didn't can, she froze EVERYTHING.  She considered fruits, veggies and grains staples. Meat was extra, used sparingly, and was considered something of a treat. We were pretty healthy kids. 

We had a larger than average family, a smaller than average income and we still ate mostly healthy meals. There is no excuse for any of these people to consistently feed their families junk. 

[GeoBQn]

My grandmother on my mom's side had a style of cooking that was "traditional Jewish/kosher" meets "1950's convenience."  She would marinate chicken in a bottle of Italian dressing before roasting it.  Her brisket had a gravy made of Lipton's onion soup mix.  She had a recipe for coffee cake where every other step was "add 1/4 c of margarine."  I had no idea why she called her bundt cake "Bosco cake" until I later learned that it is a brand of chocolate syrup.  Still, she made all the important traditional dishes from scratch--chicken soup, gefilte fish, mandelbrot.  She was an amazing cook, and expressed her love through food and hospitality.  I know everyone claims that their grandmother makes the best chicken soup, but my grandmother had such a reputation for hers that my mother didn't attempt making it until she was in her 50's.  She had to tell herself, "I am not making my mother's chicken soup, I am making MY chicken soup."

[PennySycamore]

@GeoBQn, if we had a Bosco cake at our house it would either have German shepherd hair in it or be shaped like a German shepherd.  Bosco was our GSD who went to the Bridge about 15 years ago.

The story about mother's chicken soup reminds me of this story I read years ago in Love and Knishes.  This newlywed husband raved about his mother's chicken soup and matzo balls.  His bride got the best cook that she knew to teach her how to make good chicken soup and knaidlech.  Her matzo balls were just light as a feather.  Her husband liked the chicken soup, but complained that the matzo balls were not like mama made.  The bride kept trying, varying the amounts of schmaltz, etc, and her husband kept saying that the matzo balls were not like his mother's.  Finally one Friday, the bride got mad and dumped a whole box of matzo meal into the dough.  She figured that the matzo balls would be hard as rocks and they were.  Her husband, though, loved them.  They were just like mama's!

[lawlifelgbt]

2 hours ago, GeoBQn said:

My grandmother on my mom's side had a style of cooking that was "traditional Jewish/kosher" meets "1950's convenience."  She would marinate chicken in a bottle of Italian dressing before roasting it.  Her brisket had a gravy made of Lipton's onion soup mix.  She had a recipe for coffee cake where every other step was "add 1/4 c of margarine."  I had no idea why she called her bundt cake "Bosco cake" until I later learned that it is a brand of chocolate syrup.  Still, she made all the important traditional dishes from scratch--chicken soup, gefilte fish, mandelbrot.  She was an amazing cook, and expressed her love through food and hospitality.  I know everyone claims that their grandmother makes the best chicken soup, but my grandmother had such a reputation for hers that my mother didn't attempt making it until she was in her 50's.  She had to tell herself, "I am not making my mother's chicken soup, I am making MY chicken soup."

True story: My best local friend's fiancée comes from a line of Jewish doctors. And is in medical school. When I got really sick with a massive allergic reaction, she offered to make and bring me chicken soup and fussed over me by phone for weeks!

At the time, I laughed and explained it wasn't like a cold, but considering the tradition and work that goes into it, maybe I should have said yes.

[jerkit]

Can someone explain the catholic no appetizers thing? 

[NotQuiteMotY]

18 hours ago, Jucifer said:

I wish I could 'like' your post 100 times.

I haven't ironed in years. Whenever something is too wrinkled to wear around here, it gets thrown in the dryer for a few minutes. Works like a charm. ;D

Yeah... We have an iron, but I think it last got used a couple of years ago. I don't usually wear stuff that needs ironing, and my husband takes care of his own dress shirts by hanging them immediately so he doesn't have to iron!

1 hour ago, jerkit said:

Can someone explain the catholic no appetizers thing? 

Beats me. My mother-in-law's as Catholic as they come and stuffs us with hummus and veggies before a meal.

[louisa05]

4 hours ago, jerkit said:

Can someone explain the catholic no appetizers thing? 

I don't think it has a damn thing to do with being Catholic. My Catholic inlaws are offended by a lack of appetizers while my Protestant family sees no need for them and never has them.

Of course, I am grateful for the edible appetizers the inlaws put out since the food they cook is not good. They can't ruin cheese, crackers, store bought dips and such.

 

[Four is Enough]

I've never heard of Catholics not using appetizers..

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Catholic here, Queen of Appetizers and Cocktails before entertaining. as are all my Catholic friends and relatives. We're also all really good cooks.

Maybe Catholic, No Appetizer is a regional thing? 

ETA. My non-Catholic friends are also big proponents of appetizers and cocktails.  We're southern; maybe we just like to party.

[Four is Enough]

One thing on the "fundies and food" topic... I think that's where I am...

 

I have to say that I am pretty impressed with how the women manage to keep the weight off. It seems I've been blooming since I turned 18 and went to college... and the scales keep going up.

Dunno (for them) if it's strict discipline, if they starve themselves for fear of "sinning" and eating too much, or what.

For me, I have an overactive...... appetite.

[Red Jumper]

6 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I've been blooming

Oh that's a nice wording! I'm in full bloom now and it sucks.

 

6 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

For me, I have an overactive...... appetite.

That (lovely wording again) and I admit it: I enjoy eating. I enjoy having a good home-made meal with someone I like (DH, family, friends). I enjoy having coffee (or tea) and cake at a nice coffee shop/tea room/pastry shop with someone I like. I enjoy a good meal at any nice eating place with someone I like and not all nice places are in the healthy-only camp. I enjoy trying new food and not all is another version of salad. I enjoy all the snacks that small shops and street vendors offer which are not always a new fruit variety.

I like good food and I am a social eater: I enjoy sitting around the table with company to share my love of food and good conversation. Eating is more than intake of necessary calories and nutrients.

 

Hence my guess is that many fundies don't enjoy eating. They don't enjoy life; everything is chore with a goal. So really enjoying the earthly pleasure of a nice meal is simply not an option. For other fundies i think it is a control issue. (Doesn't make this an eating disorder?)

[ADoyle90815]

All I can say is that my grandparents were weird as far as their Catholicism goes, especially with their food issues where they wouldn't allow appetizers before holiday dinners. I get the idea that the thing that upset my grandpa about Vatican 2 was that the meatless Friday thing was only to be done during Lent. Let's just say that it's no wonder my dad and uncles quit going to church after they left the house, and that none of us grandchildren were raised Catholic.

[Shoobydoo]

The terrible, over-processed diet is NOT a fundie-only thing. My SO's family seems to eat mostly processed foods, and nearly all of his siblings and both of his parents have suffered the consequences (we're talking sodium induced seizures, early onset arthritis, diabetes, etc...) And having been there, his mom ain't a great cook even when she's trying to show off (is there a bitchy emoticon I can use for myself? ) When my SO was liberated from his home state, he did not eat any vegetables whatsoever. He later discovered that he quite likes green beans after I fed him some that didn't come from a can. Lucky for him, I am a decent cook, even if I need to learn more recipes that are less hearty and more healthy, and I am constantly trying to find vegetable matter he'll actually eat. So far we've got green beans, asparagus, corn, baked apples, carrots so long as they're cooked, and salad so long as it doesn't have iceberg lettuce...

@Red Jumper I love how you talk about eating! Most of my friends are finally learning to feed themselves now that we're a few years post-college, but I'm always inviting people over for roast chicken or stew or cookies or something. I love cooking for my friends.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

Reform Jewish, parents never kept kosher because, per my dad, "If God didn't want us to eat pork and shrimp, He wouldn't have made them so goddamn delicious".

My mom claims to hate cooking, but she's really good at it. Most of our weeknight dinners when I was a kid were pastas made with jar sauce that she doctored up with red wine and more herbs/veggies, London broil marinated in orange juice and Cuban-inspired spices, and roasted chicken: all things you can just sort of throw together and let cook on their own. My dad got super into cooking in my teens, and now he's the main cook for the family now that he's semi-retired. He isn't as healthy a cook as my mom (though he can make healthy things if he feels like it), but at least when you die from the clogged arteries caused by his cooking, you'll die happy because his lasagna is the food of the gods.

I cook most of my meals myself because I like to cook and it's a great way to save money. Right now my go-to weekday meal is buying a bunch of chicken breasts, quickly marinating them in a mixture of olive oil, lemon juice, and spices (cardamom, garlic, cumin, turmeric, pepper, and chili flakes), and then throwing them on a sheet pan with some broccoli, onions, and garlic. In the oven at 400 for 35 minutes, and then I pack it all into Tupperware for the week.

I definitely still have some body image issues, but I'm really glad my parents taught me how to cook early on and introduced me to a variety of cuisines. 

[Glasgowghirl]

I was raised Catholic but my mum's side is Protestant and Dad's side is Catholic, both my grandparents have always made sure we got fed well at Christmas and New Year, no appetisers is definitely not a thing with any Catholic families I know. My Gran always asks us if we need anymore food when we have already. My dad jokes she's like Mrs Doyle from Father Ted. The only time Catholic's here seem to go meet free is Ash Wednesday and maybe God Friday. My family doesn't go meet free any day though.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Vatican II allows Catholics to eat meat on Friday if we perform an act of penance or if a solemnity falls on Friday.  Fridays in Lent  and Ash Wed. are still to be meatless.

Growing up we still did meatless Fridays year around about 75-80% of the time as my mother figured 1) we probably wouldn't remember to do an act of penance, 2) fish is good for you ("brain food"), and 3) fishermen need to make a living.

My mother cooked wonderful fried fish and another of her standard Friday meals was kedgeree -- an Anglo Indian dish of rice, curry, cooked flaked fish (usually cod or flounder), onions, parsley,  butter and sometimes golden raisins.  It is delicious.

We also ate homemade mac and cheese with a dish of baked tomatoes on the side, spaghetti primavera, omelets,  hopping john with fresh black eyed peas, or tuna casserole.  There were also the salmon croquettes made with canned salmon -- which I hated.  I do not eat salmon at all in any form to this day.  Since meatless days tended to be heavier on starch, there was always an extra veg or salad to compensate.

I must admit I eat meat on Fridays except during Lent and I do forget the act of penance much more than I should. Mama was right in that respect. (Please don't tell her I said she was right or I'll never hear the end of it).

 

[louisa05]

The only connection I could possibly come up with for Catholics and no appetizers would be fasting on Good Friday and Ash Wednesday when the rule is two small meals (half of normal is a guideline I have heard) and one normal but meatless meal with nothing in between. Appetizers would not be appropriate to those rules. But holiday dinners would not on those days either.

I find that people often tend to attribute the odd quirks, spiritual or otherwise, of individual Catholics to the whole Church. It's odd. I've never heard this sort of thing with Methodists or Presbyterians or whatever.

[HereticHick]

This blog post illustrates why if I had to choose a fundy family to eat with, it would be the Bontragers:

fresh veggies from the garden, with the boys helping prep the food:

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2017/05/youth-conference-food-prep.html