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Can we talk about Fundies and food?


lawlifelgbt

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yeah what's wrong with chicken broth, seasonings and noodles? It's not like the original version is too complicated lol.

Man, I miss having dinner with the Jewish society at my university. They made the best chicken soup and falafels.

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The Bates' "chicken noodle soup": Ew. Just ew. Seriously, broth, noodles, frozen corn, chunks of chicken, maybe some spices, and you're done. If you get a big turkey or two for Thanksgiving or Christmas, turn it into stock and freeze it if you don't want to buy all that broth.

Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks barbecue tuna isn't awful-sounding. Maybe not with quite as much sauce as the Duggars pour on, though.

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I grew up in a large family.

We probably ate worse than the Duggars. My mom hated cooking.

At least tater tot casserole required at least some preparation, we lived off microwave ready meals, frozen pizzas/chicken nuggets, and things from a can, same set menu for each week for years. We drank exclusively fizzy drinks. The day the shopping was delivered was the best day, because we had snacks, but you had to eat them fast because all the kids wanted some. We also had fruit on this day.

I hated food. Only ate because I did not want to starve. Everything tasted of cardboard, except for once a week, when we ordered a pizza or Chinese food. It was the best food ever and I looked forward to it all week.

I learned to be sneaky with food, as I never liked what was available and had to devour snacks fast before my siblings did. I used to be the one sent out on errands, as the oldest, I was going to the shop by myself at the age of 8. I used to deliberately buy the cheapest of everything that was available, so I could buy myself little bits of food to eat on the way home. As I got older, I was going to the supermarket by my school on the walk home, and buying snacks to hoard in a container under my bed-I particularly liked buying cereal bars, raisins and cakes.

I also learned to cook though. We learned at school. I bought myself a cake tin, and used to enjoy baking cakes. The one saucepan we owned was used for everything-I used it as a frying pan, and would also use it as a mixing bowl, with a tablespoon instead of a wooden spoon to stir, and using a baby bottle to measure ingredients. Once I moved out, I took cooking classes and now cook everything from scratch, and realised I am not as picky an eater as I thought I was.

I still hoard food though. I always have a stash of snack food on top of my kitchen cupboards. I also still drink way more fizzy drinks than I should, but I limit myself to a can a day except for weekends when I can buy a full bottle.

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My Mom hates to cook and is awful at it. But while our food did not vary from a set menu, it was sufficient in nutrition. Growing up, we ate grilled chicken breasts, a side of rice/starch and some green vegetable, plus a salad at least 4 days a week. The other days were pasta with tomato sauce (homemade generally, with the leftover vegetables from the other days chopped up and added to the sauce) and meatballs or sausage. One day a week we had something else, be it chili, tacos, pizza or Sunday dinner at my Grandmother's. The day that my Mom figured out she could buy rotisserie chicken pre cooked at the grocery store was the best day of her life.

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15 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

The animal cracker thing was weird but it's not that unheard of to not want or like cake.

Yes, but wasn't the animal cracker dessert done because Steve was on a diet and therefore everyone was only allowed 2 animal crackers and no cake or other desserts?  That's not normal.  It would be one thing if he didn't like or want cake and just didn't take a piece, but he mandated that there be no cake. 

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5 minutes ago, JMO said:

Yes, but wasn't the animal cracker dessert done because Steve was on a diet and therefore everyone was only allowed 2 animal crackers and no cake or other desserts?  That's not normal.  It would be one thing if he didn't like or want cake and just didn't take a piece, but he mandated that there be no cake. 

It was his party. If I said "no cake" and someone made cake anyway, I'd be pretty annoyed. Maybe I'm weird and have control issues, also, but one of the reasons that I'm estranged from my family is that my preferences were never taken into consideration for things like my graduation party, my birthday parties, my birthday dinner.  Why should they insist of having cake for Steve if he doesn't want it? That makes no sense to me. Furthermore, it seems shitty to be like "we know you are working really hard on this diet, but we're all going to eat cake in front of you." 

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30 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

It was his party. If I said "no cake" and someone made cake anyway, I'd be pretty annoyed. Maybe I'm weird and have control issues, also, but one of the reasons that I'm estranged from my family is that my preferences were never taken into consideration for things like my graduation party, my birthday parties, my birthday dinner.  Why should they insist of having cake for Steve if he doesn't want it? That makes no sense to me. Furthermore, it seems shitty to be like "we know you are working really hard on this diet, but we're all going to eat cake in front of you." 

The way it was worded was like "Well, dad's on a diet and can only have two animal crackers, so I guess no one can have fun after dinner." Because it's the Maxwells, they weren't at a party they could leave and get treats somewhere else later. It was the family dinner that night. I think dictating the diet of the adults around you is controlling.

And if someone is on a diet, they can't expect to always be in a controlled environment and are going to have to get used to people eating non-approved foods in front of them.

I can understand the person being celebrated requesting a certain flavor of cake or to have healthy options for them, but insisting no one eat chocolate because you can't have chocolate seems inhospitable to me.

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8 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

The way it was worded was like "Well, dad's on a diet and can only have two animal crackers, so I guess no one can have fun after dinner." Because it's the Maxwells, they weren't at a party they could leave and get treats somewhere else later. It was the family dinner that night. I think dictating the diet of the adults around you is controlling.

And if someone is on a diet, they can't expect to always be in a controlled environment and are going to have to get used to people eating non-approved foods in front of them.

Well, no, and people on a diet understand that. But if it's your birthday, and the party is to celebrate your trips around the sun, why is it unheard of to not have cake and ice cream and candy and junk food? Maybe people can just not eat their sugar for one meal and honor the person being celebrated. 

8 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I can understand the person being celebrated requesting a certain flavor of cake or to have healthy options for them, but insisting no one eat chocolate because you can't have chocolate seems inhospitable to me.

I don't think it's inhospitable at all. But then again, I'm used to not having my wishes or desires EVER being accommodated on my birthday or whatever we are celebrating that involves me. So maybe I'm biased. 

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30 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Well, no, and people on a diet understand that. But if it's your birthday, and the party is to celebrate your trips around the sun, why is it unheard of to not have cake and ice cream and candy and junk food? Maybe people can just not eat their sugar for one meal and honor the person being celebrated. 

I can see your point in that, and if someone wanted to have a veggie-palooza party for their own birthday, I would respect that and not bring cupcakes. But in the case of the Maxwells, it was the family meal. So it came off like Steve was telling others whether or not they could have dessert that night (and also demanding what portion sizes they were allowed to have). That seems weird to me.

I don't think telling other people what they can and can't eat for dinner is a privilege that should be granted to the birthday boy. People can eat sugar and still honor the person being celebrated; I don't know why those are considered mutually exclusive?

Same as, if you love seafood, you should get to have your birthday dinner at a crab shack. But if someone attending your birthday dinner despises seafood, they should be able to order the chicken breast if they want to. 

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Whoever said the Bontragers would be fun to eat with needs to read her latest Mom advice post.  Of course, everything has to be "cheerfully" and gratefully eaten.  The most shocking thing is that she did not and does not permit any snacks  (healthy or not) at all during the day, including drinks, including TODDLERS. Forget growing bodies, hunger pains. etc. Those kids were as scheduled with meals as any other family and maybe worse....I wonder if they ever read any medical advice about young children and nutritional needs?

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2 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I can see your point in that, and if someone wanted to have a veggie-palooza party for their own birthday, I would respect that and not bring cupcakes. But in the case of the Maxwells, it was the family meal. So it came off like Steve was telling others whether or not they could have dessert that night (and also demanding what portion sizes they were allowed to have). That seems weird to me.

The portion sizing is weird, I agree. Why not put out the animal crackers and let people have a handful or more. 

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I don't think telling other people what they can and can't eat for dinner is a privilege that should be granted to the birthday boy. People can eat sugar and still honor the person being celebrated; I don't know why those are considered mutually exclusive?

In my experience, if the birthday (or graduation) party is at home, with home cooking (or catering) the birthday person should be allowed to choose the menu. It's that person's day. So if I say "i don't want to go to a restaurant, I'd like to have meat loaf and waffles for dinner" that should be honored. If Grandma asks "what kind of cake" and I say "i don't like cake, grandma" and she offers to make pie, no one should go get a chocolate sheet cake, make me blow out the candles, and then yell at me when I don't eat any of it.

Or, in other words, why should they make a dessert when he requested cookies. (I am so sick of writing out Animal Crackers. It sounds more and more ridiculous every time I say it. He's a grown man. Just don't eat dessert, Steve. Or ... I don't know. Come up with a normal request like an activity together.) 

I'm not saying that it's mutually exclusive, but I know that if my partner is on a cut, it's really rude of me to eat dessert in front of him. And on his birthday? That would be so mean. He might not like cake but he sure can put away some independently owned gay rights supporting frozen dessert from Vermont. There's no way I would sit there and eat it in front of him when I know he's on a cut. 

And had this been an actual party and not just a regular Maxhell dinner, if they don't serve dessert ... so what? Is it typical to always have dessert? I didn't grow up with dessert at every meal. Why not do something different instead of equating celebration with sugary food?  My partner doesn't like cake any more than I do. I think he likes it less, actually. So if we want to do something special, we plan to DO something special.  For my birthday last year we did a multi-day backpacking trip through the mountains. No cake needed. For his birthday we ... did something. It was in the winter and I can't remember and I'm obviously a terrible girlfriend and I don't deserve him. 

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Same as, if you love seafood, you should get to have your birthday dinner at a crab shack. But if someone attending your birthday dinner despises seafood, they should be able to order the chicken breast if they want to. 

I think it's different if the party is at a restaurant and everyone can choose their own meal off the menu. 

(Deleted terribly long repressed memory about a birthday in a restaurant.) 

 

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I think there's a disconnect between "spending a lot of time cooking" and "cooking a lot".  I cook most nights, but I'm not spending hours doing it.

Saturday I made homemade spaghetti sauce (ground beef, sausage, tomatoes, onions, garlic, shallot, red wine and spices).  My recipe makes a big pot so we had spaghetti Saturday, I had a little left-over pasta and sauce that became lunch on Monday or Tuesday.  I put some sauce in the fridge, and 2 freezer containers in the freezer.  I like to combine some of the sauce with a can of tomatoes so it's not so heavy when I reheat it.

Sunday we tried the new Olive Garden here.  Not a good call. 

Monday I made a chicken-breast and pasta dish because that's what I like to eat before a PT test.

Tuesday we had tacos (with homemade guacamole that did not involve anything except avocado, lemon, shallot, and spice).

Wednesday the kid had ramen and I had nothing, because I had a weigh-in Thursday morning.

Thursday, we had spaghetti sauce and pasta. 

Tonight we had fast food because the kiddo picks the food on Friday.

Other than Saturday, no one that took more than an hour total per day.

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@Maggie Mae I just want to give you an internet hug. I have similar birthday memories. One in particular that I wish I could share in detail, but it involves my parents convincing me that my dream gift was actually my present, and then telling me it was all a joke. Haha, isn't it funny? No, it's not. And then I got in trouble for being in a bad mood after that and not showing enough enthusiasm for my real gift. Good times. I still cry when I tell the story. So I know how things that may look like silly birthday memories to some people are actually quite painful. 

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My mom was a crap cook as well... I remember her constantly undercooking pancakes, leaving raw batter in the center; fried chicken with raw bits of flour in it; horribly overcooked meats... on and on.

I remember once, quite vividly, seeing a loaf of bread on the counter, and being startled as a mouse ran away from it. Had a tunnel carved into it from where the mouse had eaten it, and little turds....... she just cut the bread around the "dirty" parts...

Since I still vividly remember that, it's odd how I can't even recall if I actually ate the damned bread or not... just a blank hole in my memory.

I was underweight my whole childhood. Seen myself in a few childhood photos and I look like a Grey's Anatomy illustration.

So when I fled all that, and discovered a whole world of hamburgers (from this rather nice place called Braums)... and pancakes at Dennys... and endless food with actual taste, I put on extra weight alarmingly fast. 

Started walking at a local track every night, curbed a lot of the crappy food... worked it all off... I'm just glad I didn't end up with a disorder or something... 

Sad for all the other kids who got an eating disorder thanks to Fucky Fundie Food (tm)

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28 minutes ago, THERetroGamerNY said:

I remember once, quite vividly, seeing a loaf of bread on the counter, and being startled as a mouse ran away from it. Had a tunnel carved into it from where the mouse had eaten it, and little turds....... she just cut the bread around the "dirty" parts...

Since I still vividly remember that, it's odd how I can't even recall if I actually ate the damned bread or not... just a blank hole in my memory.

I think your brain deliberately repressed this memory. I know I would have. 

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Mum grew up 1 of 8, dirt poor during the depression.  Home made everything.

I am 1 of 4.  Dad relaxed by gardening, we lived in the country so single income was supplemented by my brothers fishing and rabbiting.  I refuse to eat fish or rabbit to this day.

we had no snacks except apples.  Mum would constantly be amazed at how quickly the apples would disappear.  When she went to Nanas once a month we would get baked treats.

We did not eat out as we could not afford it.  A special treat was fish and chips once in a blue moon.

I still love the memories of picking sweet corn fresh off the plant, stripping it of its husk and eating.

I am married with 2 girls.  Now we cook from scratch probably 5-6 nights a week with takeaway on a Friday. Everyone has a night to cook and is responsible for their menu.  We have done this since the girls were under 10 years, I would be around to supervise but they were the cooks.  Initially they cooked the same meal each week.  Boring but they learnt that meal well and could be trusted to get dinner on the table.

I can understand mothers with multiple children to supervise, handing cooking duties off to an older child.  If those children had set menus that they were used to.  I can also understand using pre prepared stuff to reduce cutting produce.

 I was always unsettled when the girls cut up stuff and preferred to use packet washed salad mixes when they were really young.

I am sure in fundie circles there are vastly different kinds of diets as in the general population, from super healthy to really poor nutritional value.

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I am a child of parents born in the Depression.

I grew up canning, preserving, preparing meals from scratch, because that was the cheapest way to do it. And by cheapest, I mean my mother would go to the grocery store, select through the packages of, say, pork chops, look through all the ones with five pork chops in them (five of us in the family), and select the cheapest one. Of course, that meant that they were the smallest, skinniest pork chops as well, but every cent counted in that house. We canned tomatoes, peaches, apples, apple sauce, jellies, jams, pickles, pears, you name it.

I can see a great attraction in buying a jar of applesauce already made from the store. (If you've ever picked apple seeds and stems out of a Foley Food Mill, you know what I'm saying.) So why not canned tomatoes, jellies, soups, broths, potatoes, etc?

Of course, the problem with prepared foods in cans is the high sodium/sugar content that many have. They can also be pricey. The other problem is (and this bugs me to death about the Duggars) all the cans.. why do they buy the little cans of stuff? Restaurant cans are cheaper and better on the environment. They are readily available at many stores. And I'm relatively certain that they do NOT recycle. Our Mason jars and rings were reusable. Only the tops needed to be tossed out.

 

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2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Of course, the problem with prepared foods in cans is the high sodium/sugar content that many have. They can also be pricey. The other problem is (and this bugs me to death about the Duggars) all the cans.. why do they buy the little cans of stuff? Restaurant cans are cheaper and better on the environment. They are readily available at many stores. And I'm relatively certain that they do NOT recycle. Our Mason jars and rings were reusable. Only the tops needed to be tossed out.

I think it has to do with where they shop. I think they often shopped at Aldi and they don't have a lot of huge cans there. But I have seen some bigger fans in their pantry so maybe they've expanded where they shop now that they have money. If there's a costco near them, it would be smart for them to buy giant cans of fruit or whatever else they buy in cans. 

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They frequently go to Sam's Club which is another warehouse store like Costco. 

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I was thinking about this topic, remembering how I taught my ex-housemate to cook at uni. It started with a Caprese salad that she wanted to make. Not the world's most difficult dish, one would think. It was all going swimmingly, until she knocked on my door and asked if she had to de-seed the tomatoes. It turned out, she had never cut a tomato. After I picked my jaw off the floor, I helped her out with instructions.

Woman has my respect! It was brave of her to start asking seemingly "stupid" questions. It was very brave of her to withstand the relentless ribbing she got from our fellow housemates for having absolutely no clue, and persevere. And she was rightly proud of herself, when she managed to cook from scratch without my help.

I eventually figured out why she was totally clueless, about cooking from scratch, but a whizz with convenience foods. Her parents had grown up in poor farming families. They considered it "moving up in the world" that they didn't have to do everything from scratch, could just order in, eat out, or heat up ready meals. So, they never taught her how to cook, because she didn't need to put herself through the hassle any more.

And I understand their way of thinking. Growing up, my family wasn't rich. Farming family in which everyone needed a paying job as well to make ends meet. And modernisation? Forget it, no money. We were organic, before it became fashionable!

My childhood ambition centred around the big glowing yellow "M", I would see whenever we were in town. I didn't want anything huge, I just wanted chips (fries). Because I wouldn't have to help peel potatoes first (potatoes that I had to help plant, dig, harvest and store). It seemed so luxurious! Imagine, you can just go and buy chips! It was a great moment, when my parents relented.

But when school-trips ended at McDonald's, my family made burgers the day before. All organic cattle and home-made buns, and I got to take leftovers. I hated it! So, when our financial situation improved in my teens, I went and gorged. I loved not having to put in hard work to get a burger. Or a strawberry milkshake!

I really understand my friend's parents. Everyone wants better for their kids, and it's a shitty feeling, when you're the only kid who's sitting there with a leftover burger, knowing that even this school-trip is hard on your parents.

BUT I had the advantage that my knowledge became interesting and valuable, eventually. Everything "the rich kids" at university were discovering, I already knew. I didn't need a website to tell me what's in season when - I only eat what's in season anyway. Unlike my wonderful friend, I went through a childhood consisting of "come here, you'll need to know this one day". Surprisingly to kid-me, they were right. Except for how to sharpen a scythe with a hammer, but who knows?

Tl; dr: Point to this lengthy trip down memory lane is that I learned that it is quite easy to judge people. I also learned that people's motives for doing stuff, or not doing it are complicated. I learned that it's incredibly brave to ask "stupid" questions as an adult.

And I will also continue judging the Duggars, the Bateses and their ilk, because unlike my friend, they peddle their rubbish. Without ever questioning themselves. And without ever asking.

Bleeding heck, the most important thing my family has ever taught me is to ask, if you don't know the answer. Works for the kitchen, works for technology. You might not like the answer, but it's usually a start. Even if that start is "have you lost your bloody mind?"- which is what I think every time I read a Bates or Duggar recipe. :)

 

P.S.: Shite, I do get bloody wordy. Sorry about that.

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2 hours ago, samurai_sarah said:

Except for how to sharpen a scythe with a hammer, but who knows?

How have you not had to do that?  :giggle:

Some day while out hiking you'll find a dull scythe and need to use it....

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@Coconut Flan

Well, it's quite simple really. What you need is a wooden block, a sharp eye, and a hammer, and then... oh wait, you set me up. :)

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On 5/10/2017 at 10:51 AM, lawlifelgbt said:

I've heard it's a sign of something bad- but is it clear what exactly? I hoarded food a lot, but as an older kid once my mom started cracking down on preteen chubbiness.

A lot of different things. It's seen most in adopted children with attachment disorder. With us we saw it a lot as a signal of poverty that made meals inconsistent. It can also be a sign of adhd and depression in kids.

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The food-related thing that really drives me nuts is locking the fridge.  In the spirit of full disclosure, my parents used to lock up a fridge, but it was one that only ever had stuff like soda or luxury items intended for specific occasions - because my parents understood that teenagers are somewhat like locusts.  They eat everything because they're hungry.

My own house is the "snack house".  I have a whole drawer full of relatively healthy snacks - pretzels, goldfish, crackers and cheese, fruit snacks - that I keep full as needed.

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On 5/14/2017 at 10:04 AM, desertvixen said:

In the spirit of full disclosure, my parents used to lock up a fridge, but it was one that only ever had stuff like soda or luxury items intended for specific occasions - because my parents understood that teenagers are somewhat like locusts. 

Yeah, there's a huge difference between locking up the fridge to control all access to food, vs. stopping someone from eating up something for a special occasion.  

On 5/13/2017 at 7:11 AM, Four is Enough said:

The other problem is (and this bugs me to death about the Duggars) all the cans.. why do they buy the little cans of stuff? Restaurant cans are cheaper and better on the environment.

Probably a combination of the stores they shop at and whatever couponing they're doing. I feel like they talked about it in the one of the early specials; probably stuff like manufacturer's coupons that only apply when you buy 10 cans of whatever and somehow works out to cheaper than 1 restaurant size can that holds the same amount of food. As for the environment, I'm pretty sure they don't care... 19 kids multiplied by their inevitable mega-families will do far more damage! 

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