Another Duggar Courtship: Joseph and Kendra

[trustworthy]

3 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

Jinger gave her maids necklaces, but they weren't Texas ones. They were little gold and black charms, and each had the bridesmaid's initial on it (lots of Js, you can imagine), along with a jar of chocolate caramels. A nice gift. So I'm not quite sure where the Texas necklace could have come from.

!'m 5'4". My SO is 5'8". I don't have to stand on tiptoe to kiss him. That's pretty nice  

Hot little trivia item, for when we produce the FJ Trial Pursuit game:  the chocolate caramels were Rolos .... because it rhymes with Vuolo.

[grandmadugger]

Reading ya'll talk about height and age when kids were born makes me feel like I need to weigh in.  As a kid I vowed to marry someone super tall with lots of tall family members if I wanted kids.  Shortness is the dominant gene on my side of the family, as far as the eye can see and since we are short you can see right over us.  I ended up not wanting to birth any children so I married a guy who is 5'10".  I ended up being a grandma at 36 though.  I married someone who went to school with my brother and sister and his parents were really good friends of my parents.  The only thing was he is 16 years older than I am.  I was a "Oh maybe you aren't going through menopause" baby.  My parents had successfully not had children for many years and then I made my appearance. 

[feministxtian]

I became a grandma about a month before my 39th birthday. I was 18 when my daughter was born (serious stupidity on my part) and she was 20 when she had her first baby. Now, my mom was about 50 when she became a grandma, she was 31 when I was born. My MIL was 17 when she had my husband and was not quite 40 when she became a grandmother. 

[BadMammaJana]

2 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

I've shared this before, but in my Midwest region I'm (at 30) right smack dack in the middle of the age groups for toddlers.  Either women had them a lot earlier, or mid to older thirties.  I don't know if that's a national trend, but I really haven't (personally) met too many women who had their kids in their late 20's.

After high school, I saw quite a few of my classmates get married, or engaged, and have babies.  It's quite something to see 30 year olds with teenagers (I don't mean that as a snark, just a personal comment).  Though I had three brothers who were toddlers when I was 16-18, and that was all the BC I needed to be like, "Nope - I'll wait a while."

Maybe they'll wait a *little* while before she's engaged/married?  One can hope . . .

I'm in SoCal, and from a poor and mostly Mexican neighborhood. Many of my classmates got pregnant in high school, like my childhood neighbor who is my age (30). She had her first baby when she just turned 18, and my sister had my nephew a few months later when she was 32. Their kids are in the same class now, and my sister tells me she hates going to school events because she feels so uncomfortable because she's old compared to the other moms who are mostly my age. It is a little weird even for me when I see my old neighbor and old classmates with their middle school aged kids and mine are still a toddler and infant. Late 20's/early 30's isn't that late to have kids nowadays, but for my old neighborhood, it really is. It's an odd feeling being almost 30 with 2 very young children, and feel like one of the "old" moms. 

[JillyO]

Fot those who were asking how old the youngest Caldwell kid is. This pictures was taken in September 2015, so I'd say he (?) is a little over 2.

 

 

[RosyDaisy]

I remember seeing the necklace but didn't notice at the time - was the position of the heart where Austin would be? If so, that may have been a hint. [emoji4]

No, it wasn't. You can buy one just like at wish.com. I bought the the Alabama one for $1.00 (US). The heart on mine is on the far right center, not where Montgomery is. Joy probably bought hers at a store in Texas.

[GoatZombie]

On 3/9/2017 at 7:46 PM, grandmadugger said:

Minus the fact that he's fundy and too young for me JD is actually a catch to me.  He's got a twisted sense of humor from what we've been told.  He enjoys working with his hands, he doesn't seem dumb (he got his commercial pilot's license after all), and I could see him being good living on a piece of property with a few animals and running a construction business.  Sounds like a good life to me.

I have been catching up on this thread so I apologize in advance for the old quotes. I always thought JD was a catch. By fundie standards, of course not a catch to anyone who is not sheltered and wants to be seen as an equal and have opinions and conversation.. Not my type by far (I don't like country boys, or religious boys), but if I had to pick a Duggar boy it would definitely be JD. But luckily I don't have to pick a Duggar boy. He has more going for him than the others, seems intelligent for his education level, seems funny in his own way and is probably a good guy. Plus everyone seems friendly with him which is a good sign. Agewise for me it would have to be Josh or JD. Even before Joshgate, Josh always had a bit of a creep factor about him and I found him highly obnoxious so I always leaned towards JD. As much as I'd love to see JD and Jana run off, I know thats highly unlikely so I just hope he lands a good one and not some dumb and young one. Same with Jana.  JD and Jana are my favorite Duggars, so I sleep better at night by telling myself neither of them want to settle for the typical young and dumb in the fundie pool. I mean can you see Jana settling for a Ben or JD for a Kendra? Yikes...
 

On 3/9/2017 at 9:45 PM, Million Children For Jesus said:

IIRC from one of the very first specials, Jim Bob said they bought 20 acres so that each of the kids would have the option and space to build a home there, if that's what they wanted to do. I never heard anything about that again. I wouldn't be surprised if Jim Bob decides that Joe decided to buy a house kit and build a home on the grounds of TTH. 

Yeah I was thinking about that too. I'm pretty sure he said something about them purchasing the land so the kids could build homes on it. Never heard anything about that again! And personally I don't want to...they're culty enough..they don't need a more legit compound. I'm actually pleasantly surprised that so many of the kids were "allowed" to move so far away.

And about the Amish and other small communities, inbreeding absolutely is an issue. Its more of an issue with stricter sects that don't allow marriage outside of their church or the smaller communities. I had heard about Amish refusing DNA testing due to the high percentage of inbreeding.

[meowmeow19]

17 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Interesting... I'm a tall woman and I've definitely been hit on by men shorter than me. I agree a lot of men are intimidated by taller women, though. And to be fair, so many women are biased against shorter men. You can't help what you're attracted to, but I think it gets a tad absurd when you're 5'4" and refuse to date a guy unless he's 6'0"+. I admittedly would prefer to date someone my height or taller, but I'd never reject a guy solely based on his height. 

I'm 4' 10" and I don't think it's absurd. I have 4 generations of women under 4'10" in my family, I need drastic tall genes to break this cycle! Do you know what it's like to always be in everyone's boobs when you hug them?! I'm about to demand side hugs. Or have friends who think it's funny to use you as a standing armrest? Or rock climb your kitchen. I have a dedicated pair of bbq tongs in my washer/dryer area! I look like a toddler getting out of the car. Oh, speaking of the car, I should tell you per the safety instructions, I should be driving from the backseat. All (sorta) jokes aside, I really like tall guys but I don't think I'd refuse a date over not meeting a height requirement.

[GoatZombie]

On 3/9/2017 at 11:33 PM, jqlgoblue said:

That said, I do actually think it is better now than when my mom had me in the early 80s. She was 35 and not only was she deemed a 'high risk' pregnancy but more than once kids in my class asked her if she was my grandmother. Anyway, I look around and at least in my circles no one had kids until 30 and I know many first time parents that are late thirties / early forties. I just hope to beat 40.

 

On 3/10/2017 at 0:56 AM, PainfullyAware said:

I don't think as a feminist I could judge any individual for having a baby as a teen or as an older mom. But on a societal level I do judge any cultural pressure on young women to choose motherhood over other options, like any patriarchy does. Those societies often do have poorer maternal mortality rates, among other problems. The issue is choice.

Sometimes I wonder about the 50+ age (male or female) having children but only as a future problem for the children. I'm 30 and couldn't imagine losing my parents or caregiving for them yet. Of course that can happen earlier to anyone but the odds are much higher for an octogenarian ...it's just not a choice I would personally make. Maybe I'm being judgmental here...

My mom was 32 when I was born, but my Dad was 42. Also in the 80s and yeah at that time it was a bit weird. Most of their friends had kids 5-10 years older than me. Most of my peers in school had parents much younger and some had grandparents who were my Dad's age. I have friends now who are 10 years older with younger parents, its funny. I am very happy they were older when I was born. They were settled, had a house that was nearly paid off, cars without a loan, savings and investments. They were mature had already had a lot of living and experience under their belt. I had a very privileged upbringing with a lot of opportunities. If they had me 12 years earlier when they first got married my life would have been a lot harder. I will say it sucks to be as young as I am and have to deal with elderly parents though. They can still take care of themselves but are starting to have a lot of issues and it scares to me think in a few years I may have to be a caregiver. On the other hand, my aunt had my cousin very young and she was not financially or mentally stable enough to have a child. My cousin had it rough, and she ended up basically being the parent to her mother. Its funny though because she basically followed in her mothers footsteps and also had a baby young and with no money. My other cousin who also has older parents, and I are in our 30s with no children and no plans for them. Its funny how we all took after our parents. I have no desire to breed, but if I did I would want to make sure my kid had a similar upbringing to mine. Not to say that younger parents can't be good parents... and older parents can be bad parents. Age is not so much the issue but maturity is...and those 2 things are linked more often than not.

 

17 hours ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

Its so weird to think that someone born in 1998, ten years after me, will (very likely) have a couple of children before I have just one.  I have vivid memories of  the year Kendra was born, including watching VHI in the morning before school in 5th grade, and seeing the "Real World" (Matchbox 20) music video come on while I was eating my cereal. Its weird to think someone who was an infant in 1998 is going to be procreating in 2017/2018. 

me too!  I freaked out when 1994s were having babies

 

16 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

I wonder how they will explain away the fact that Joshly is missing from the groomsmen.  Maybe they TLC will have a bouncing blue pixelated  blob to cover him up.

I wish they'd just be natural and show him, Not that I want to see him or anything but we all know he's there.  

[Lurky]

12 hours ago, onekidanddone said:

You know how they play music for the residents of nursing homes? Music of their youth.  I'm thinking when I'm really old and if I'm in one of these places they will be playing the Talking Heads and Dire Straights for us. Psycho Killer and Brothers in Arms.

I always laugh imagining my twilight years doing singalongs to the Madchester/dance music of the 90s/00s.  Having a nice group sing to "Ebenezer Goode" and "Firestarter" and so on.  Some Smiths and some KLF....

[Phoenix]

7 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

... I had three brothers who were toddlers when I was 16-18, and that was all the BC I needed to be like, "Nope - I'll wait a while."

Maybe they'll wait a *little* while before she's engaged/married?  One can hope . . .

I can relate to a younger sibling being highly effective BC as a teen! I was 13 when the youngest sibling was born and I instantly became junior Mom. I was so fucking sheltered that when bitchy women at non-church community events (because the people at church knew which kid belonged to which family) asked if the newborn on my shoulder was mine, I innocently said, "Yes, of course." since he WAS my brother. Didn't even occur to me they were asking if I was a teen Mom. 

As far as Joe's cardboard countenance, reminds me of something a friend once said about a boring acquaintance, that, "He had the personality of a stick of gum".

[Jana814]

I'm talk about this before.  My parents were a little older then many of my classmates parents. I have not had grandparents since I was 12. I have always wondered what it would have been like if my parents had been younger. 

[Jaedzia]

Forgive me if this has been posted. I didn't see it but I could have easily missed it. This is Jinger and Jeremy's video to Kendra and Joseph. The one thing that caught my eye was the decorations behind them. That looks an awful lot like Christmas to me. I was just thinking about the "Duggar Timeline". 

 

https://www.jingerandjeremy.com/2017/03/congratulations-joseph-kendra/

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

35 minutes ago, Jaedzia said:

Forgive me if this has been posted. I didn't see it but I could have easily missed it. This is Jinger and Jeremy's video to Kendra and Joseph. The one thing that caught my eye was the decorations behind them. That looks an awful lot like Christmas to me. I was just thinking about the "Duggar Timeline". 

 

https://www.jingerandjeremy.com/2017/03/congratulations-joseph-kendra/

I wonder if those aren't just fairy lights. My daughter has what looks like Christmas lights strung across her bedroom but they are called Fairy lights, they are all white, and those look all white. The red bow is beyond me but may that is Jinger trying her hand at her style of decor? 

[MarsGirl]

This just depresses me. I keep hoping one of those kids will break out, say they don't believe in this crazy fundy life.

[trustworthy]

1 hour ago, Jaedzia said:

Forgive me if this has been posted. I didn't see it but I could have easily missed it. This is Jinger and Jeremy's video to Kendra and Joseph. The one thing that caught my eye was the decorations behind them. That looks an awful lot like Christmas to me. I was just thinking about the "Duggar Timeline". 

 

https://www.jingerandjeremy.com/2017/03/congratulations-joseph-kendra/

I was thinking Jinger might hung the red bow and lights for Valentine's Day.  If not, yes -- the timeline is wacko and they've been hiding this courtship since December.

[Jaedzia]

5 hours ago, MarsGirl said:

This just depresses me. I keep hoping one of those kids will break out, say they don't believe in this crazy fundy life.

Regardless that I have been looking at this website for years, since the other place, you all don't know much about me. I didn't even join until December 2014 and as my post count shows I barely post. I was reared fundie lite. My father would have gladly taken us Duggar fundie but that my mother wouldn't allow it, he didn't want to support 19 kids, and he wanted my mom to work. I was reared to hate gays, liberals were all of the devil, women were to wear dresses and skirts(my mom did and does, but my sister and I rebelled and won in that area), went to bible based Christian schools, women didn't need to go to college, we were spanked/beaten, the lock was removed from my bedroom door, etc......

I can tell you that it can take YEARS to break free. It took as others have said on here "baby steps" for me to walk completely away.  I am now 46 years old. I still love my parents and have chosen to forgive them, but I made an effort not to repeat their mistakes with my kids. My daughter is, in fact, a bisexual and I don't care. I love her so much and I will love whoever she marries, boy or girl. Both my kids, boy and girl, are in college(a real college) and doing well. My daughter wears whatever the heck she wants. The locks are on their bedroom doors. 

I didn't reach this place over night. I still went to a fundie church for a while after marriage. I still hated gays until my late 20s. I spanked my kids for about four years and then one day realized I didn't want to do this. I wanted to correct in a better way. My political beliefs are in the middle, left, and right. lol. Depending on the topic, depends were I land on the political spectrum. 

I guess my point is, we need to give the married kids time before we declare them completely like their parents. The one exception being Josh. Anyways, that's just my opinion and this is now my longest post. lol Sorry. 

[Daisy0322]

@JermajestyDuggar I'm glad you mentioned that, there's a fairly large group of mormans that live in my area. They do all look very similar to me but I will say they are all very attractive people.  I don't mean that to come off badly at all either. I went to a larger high school (about 700 in my graduating class and I had a smaller class). So there was no way to know everyone but you could always tell the morman kids because they were always super well dressed and gorgeous haha. 

[singsingsing]

38 minutes ago, trustworthy said:

I was thinking Jinger might hung the red bow and lights for Valentine's Day.  If not, yes -- the timeline is wacko and they've been hiding this courtship since December.

There is actually another slightly less devious possibility: they simply haven't taken their Christmas decorations down yet.

[Jaedzia]

54 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

There is actually another slightly less devious possibility: they simply haven't taken their Christmas decorations down yet.

Since I am the type to have theirs down by New Years Eve, that thought never crossed my mind. lol. We usually have them up on December 3rd or 4th and down by the 31st. Daughter's birthday is Dec 2 so that is why after that. I like to keep Christmas separate from her birthday since she attends GMU and lives at home. 

[trustworthy]

On ‎3‎/‎8‎/‎2017 at 6:32 PM, divadivine said:

Bolded above needs to be a post count. 

Yes!!!  You were referring to "I'm looking forward to side hugs."  Either a post count or the go-to book on Fundie relationships:

I'm Looking Forward to Side-Hugs:  How to have lasting love within God's holy boundaries

It'd sell like hotcakes.

 

[trustworthy]

3 hours ago, Jaedzia said:

Regardless that I have been looking at this website for years, since the other place, you all don't know much about me. I didn't even join until December 2014 and as my post count shows I barely post. I was reared fundie lite. My father would have gladly taken us Duggar fundie but that my mother wouldn't allow it, he didn't want to support 19 kids, and he wanted my mom to work. I was reared to hate gays, liberals were all of the devil, women were to wear dresses and skirts(my mom did and does, but my sister and I rebelled and won in that area), went to bible based Christian schools, women didn't need to go to college, we were spanked/beaten, the lock was removed from my bedroom door, etc......

I can tell you that it can take YEARS to break free. It took as others have said on here "baby steps" for me to walk completely away.  I am now 46 years old. I still love my parents and have chosen to forgive them, but I made an effort not to repeat their mistakes with my kids. My daughter is, in fact, a bisexual and I don't care. I love her so much and I will love whoever she marries, boy or girl. Both my kids, boy and girl, are in college(a real college) and doing well. My daughter wears whatever the heck she wants. The locks are on their bedroom doors. 

I didn't reach this place over night. I still went to a fundie church for a while after marriage. I still hated gays until my late 20s. I spanked my kids for about four years and then one day realized I didn't want to do this. I wanted to correct in a better way. My political beliefs are in the middle, left, and right. lol. Depending on the topic, depends were I land on the political spectrum. 

I guess my point is, we need to give the married kids time before we declare them completely like their parents. The one exception being Josh. Anyways, that's just my opinion and this is now my longest post. lol Sorry. 

Wow.  Thank you for telling your story.  Really wonderful and heartfelt.  Glad to have your perspective, and glad you're on FJ.  I'm definitely NOT one of the cynics.  I believe anyone can break free eventually of dysfunction, and I have high hopes for a number of these folks.

[singsingsing]

The question is not, "Can Jinger break free?" Of course she can. It's not even, "Will Jinger one day break free?" None of us can know that. The question is, "Is wearing a pair of shorts a sure sign that she will break free?" My answer would be no. If you would rather believe that it is a sure sign, go right ahead. I think some of us who have been around the block on this issue with so many other fundie kids who leave the nest and make small changes aren't so much cynical, we just know it usually turns out to mean next to nothing.

[Dandruff]

17 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Joe has always struck me as having the absolute bare minimum required for a personality. He seems a little brighter in that announcement video. Maybe having some actual attention from another human being will help him come out of his shell.

Haha, I've always liked Joe but ITA about his personality and brightness. I keep hoping there's some secret genius hidden under there...that he has been riding along and holding out, waiting for his chance to run, but I doubt it.

I think he and Kendra will do fine.  I believe he wants a quiet life and, once married, he'll keep some distance between his family and the show.  Some quick $$s for courting and wedding episodes, maybe some baby coverage, but otherwise remote.

[Casserole]

My mom is 5 foot flat on a good day and my dad 6'4. I am 5'2 and my sister is 5'4 so the short gene seemed to have won. 

I am currently dating someone who is 6'5. I needed a sweatshirt the other day to run to my car and his smallest one that he "outgrew" passes my knees. The sleeves go down to my knees. I could probably fit two of my shoes in one of his. For the most part it works and I don't even notice, but anytime we are like side by side brushing our teeth in front of the mirror for example, I giggle at the crazy height difference. He has three sisters 5'11 and up so if we ever reproduced I'd be interested to see if all of my children will outgrow me by age 10 or if the short gene will prevail again.