Jinger and Jeremy: Life with the Soccer Preacher Man

[nausicaa]

21 hours ago, kinphilly said:

 Not wasting energy on low-importance decisions is actually a GOOD thing sometimes - like Steve Jobs and many other creative people who decide not to waste even 60 seconds a day of mental energy on deciding what to wear, or breakfast ...

I have a closer to 40 than 20 relative about to get married, in a high power after multiple grad degrees job, and she's pretty unconcerned about some of the details that matter very much to other brides.  

Yeah, but "low-importance" is largely subjective and varies widely person to person. Just like some people might like making a nice breakfast for themselves or picking out what to wear. 

Maybe you didn't mean it this way, but your post comes off as if anyone interested in wedding details is stupid and beneath you. It's the same thinking that encourages looking down on women who are interested in makeup and fashion.

I just wanted to give a reminder that the whole "be yourself" ideology goes both ways.

[SamiKatz]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

This really should be obvious, but you can't tell whether a person is gay based on their mannerisms, voice, appearance, style, interests, hobbies, or personality. 

 

Or if they reach a certain age and are not married.

 

[Snarkle Motion]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

This really should be obvious, but you can't tell whether a person is gay based on their mannerisms, voice, appearance, style, interests, hobbies, or personality. 

Clearly you can't tell based on these things and they are stereotypes. But the concept of gaydar suggests that there is a way people present themselves to signal to others, subconsciously or otherwise. 

My comment wasn't really meant to be taken seriously though, just that it had crossed my mind. I tend to think his vanity accounts for why he's more put together than the typical hetero guy. 

[singsingsing]

13 minutes ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Clearly you can't tell based on these things and they are stereotypes. But the concept of gaydar suggests that there is a way people present themselves to signal to others, subconsciously or otherwise. 

My comment wasn't really meant to be taken seriously though, just that it had crossed my mind. I tend to think his vanity accounts for why he's more put together than the typical hetero guy. 

The concept of gaydar is bullshit. Yes, there are certain stereotypes about how a 'gay person' or a 'straight person' might present themselves, and sometimes those are accurate. Sometimes people are totally sure, based on this, that, or the other thing, that a person is gay, and sometimes they're right. But the point is that often those stereotypes not accurate at all. You can't point to something about a person and say, "Ha, he's a flashy dresser and he's still not married. Gay!"

This is why I hate the jokes about David Waller's sexuality. First of all, none of us know whether he's actually gay or straight. Second of all, why is it so freaking hilarious that he's 'flamboyant' or 'fabulous'? Third of all, if he is gay, it's not funny, it's tragic.

[MargaretElliott]

I honestly don't think we can guess Jeremy's sexuality, especially based on stereotypes. I prefer to take people at their word about super personal stuff like that. Especially based on stereotypes. The most flamboyant guy I ever knew was straight, I know a straight drag queen, and plenty of gay folks who don't fulfill any of the old stereotypes. Everyone is different.

And I'll just leave this here 

Spoiler

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

41 minutes ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Clearly you can't tell based on these things and they are stereotypes. But the concept of gaydar suggests that there is a way people present themselves to signal to others, subconsciously or otherwise. 

My comment wasn't really meant to be taken seriously though, just that it had crossed my mind. I tend to think his vanity accounts for why he's more put together than the typical hetero guy. 

This is why the term Metrosexual was created, for straight men who enjoy looking put together or are more fastidious about their appearance.  My friends son is straight and he spends a lot of time grooming, making sure his hair is just so, his clothes are just so and wears make up, he's 21 and been this way since he was about 16/17 my son is 19 and he likes to be clean and have his clothes wrinkle free, but that is as far as he goes in caring about how he looks I had to nag him for 3 days to trim his shaggy awful looking beard, that is patchy because he's a man/boy.  The 2 guys tease each other about their "styles" or in my son's case lack there of. 

[singsingsing]

That's just another stereotype, anyway. A person who puts a lot of thought and effort into their appearance isn't necessarily vain. Some people are really interested in fashion and style and get a lot of joy out of creating outfits, doing their makeup, different hairstyles and so on. 

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

Fundies being closeted is only funny if you don't think too hard or consequentially about any of it, because you don't have to dig very deep to find the sadness in a situation like that. The David Wallers and Jeremys of the world wouldn't hesitate to take the right to marry or adopt children away from a gay couple for no good reason except... " Jesus", so I can see how the schaudenfraudy side of people says, "Hahaha, silly dumb dumb, screwing yourself over because of your bigotry." But it stops being funny when you consider that the bigotry coming out their mouths may be coming from a place of intense self-hatred. I say "may" because they could both be straight and just bigoted assholes for all we know. My husband loves clothes and lots of product too and he's not gay. Appearance is not always a reliable indicator of a person's sexuality. Its also sad because if they are gay, it means they're, in essence, behaving as their own worst enemy by participating in a fundie lifestyle. Also, the Jeremys and David Wallers of the world would think being percieved as gay would be insulting, which might be seen as funny cause they're fundamentalist Christian homophobes, and their fundie side would hate that. But again, that's not really funny either, because you're throwing gay people under the bus to trigger a fundie's homophobia and get a rise out of them which is...wrong. I mean, you  wouldn't go up to a person with a confederate flag, say "Black person, 2 o'clock!" watch them freak out, and find that funny in any way, and I feel like its basically tantimount to doing that except with gay people by joking that way. 

[AlternativeVoice]

The thought crossed my mind once that Jeremy might be more interested in guys when one of his friends at the wedding said they were really surprised he was getting married. Normally it would be a regular statement someone would make but the way he said it with the emphasis on REALLY twitched my brow a little. But even that's reaching because I see the crazy chemistry between him & jinge...so maybe he's just bi & dated a few guys back in the day. Ah well. 

[singsingsing]

10 minutes ago, AlternativeVoice said:

The thought crossed my mind once that Jeremy might be more interested in guys when one of his friends at the wedding said they were really surprised he was getting married. Normally it would be a regular statement someone would make but the way he said it with the emphasis on REALLY twitched my brow a little. But even that's reaching because I see the crazy chemistry between him & jinge...so maybe he's just bi & dated a few guys back in the day. Ah well. 

I'm pretty sure what he said was, "I was really surprised when I heard he was getting married, because he's wanted this for so long." So it wasn't, "Jeremy's getting married? Jeremy of all people?!" but more, "Wow, he finally achieved his dream!"

[Snarkle Motion]

12 minutes ago, AlternativeVoice said:

The thought crossed my mind once that Jeremy might be more interested in guys when one of his friends at the wedding said they were really surprised he was getting married. Normally it would be a regular statement someone would make but the way he said it with the emphasis on REALLY twitched my brow a little. But even that's reaching because I see the crazy chemistry between him & jinge...so maybe he's just bi & dated a few guys back in the day. Ah well. 

I remember that too. That was what got me thinking about things.

[Chickenbutt]

Mr. Butt just performed his first same sex wedding this weekend. Neither guy "appears" gay. They are just a couple of guys who found someone to love. It was one of the most touching weddings I have ever been too. Brought Mr. Butt, the "unemotional" one, to tears. Made me giggle to see Mr. Butt struggling to maintain his composure during the ceremony.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

28 minutes ago, Chickenbutt said:

Mr. Butt just performed his first same sex wedding this weekend. Neither guy "appears" gay. They are just a couple of guys who found someone to love. It was one of the most touching weddings I have ever been too. Brought Mr. Butt, the "unemotional" one, to tears. Made me giggle to see Mr. Butt struggling to maintain his composure during the ceremony.

Yeah the whole gaydar thing, like a lot of things that used to be acceptable just isn't anymore, you just don't know and I've found it is rude to assume or guess so I just wait for them to bring something up or I will say bring your significant other or date keeping it gender neutral. Most of the time they will say "oh my wife or my boyfriend blah blah blah". I've known men whom I was 100% sure was as gay as the day is long only to be shocked to find out they were straight, I've also known guys I assumed were straight that turned out to be gay.  It was like the 1st time I opened my big mouth and asked an older woman why she didn't have kids. It was also the LAST time I opened my mouth and asked a woman why she didn't have kids. I've stopped assuming and I've stopped being surprised when someone mentions a same sex partner or an opposite sex partner, or says they are gay or what ever I just nod my head and say something appropriate for the situation, not; " WHAT? I thought you were gay, are you sure your not?" And yes I heard some asshole ask this question once.

[Bad Wolf]

We had a lovely gay wedding at our church between two men who've been together 40 years. Not a dry eye in the house (church).

[eveandadam]

Really, some of last 20 or so comments made it hard for me to read through this thread. It's making me so uncomfortable. I am in a same sex marriage and was repeatedly told over the last decade that I don't "look" gay and that I can't be gay for that reason alone, by other gay people, fyi. As singsingsing said, gaydar is complete bullshit.

 

And why are we even talking about the sexual orientation of fundies? Their stance is clear on how to behave  and on what protocoll to follow and therefore it doesn't matter what they feel. In fact, it might be much better for them if they don't know they are gay if they are. I can't believe this thread drift right now.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

33 minutes ago, eveandadam said:

And why are we even talking about the sexual orientation of fundies? Their stance is clear on how to behave  and on what protocoll to follow and therefore it doesn't matter what they feel. In fact, it might be much better for them if they don't know they are gay if they are. I can't believe this thread drift right now.

I feel uncomfortable with speculations on anyone's sexual identity, regardless of whether they are fundies or not, and especially if they are fundies, given the cult's horrific beliefs about "praying away homosexuality", and the potential impact that such speculations can have on one's life. 

Additionally, there is no such thing as "looking gay" - just like there is no such thing as "looking Jewish" or "looking Muslim", btw. History and current events should teach us better than that. 

 

 

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

We had a lovely gay wedding at our church between two men who've been together 40 years. Not a dry eye in the house (church).

Those are some of the best stories. Either 2 men or 2 women who have been together forever finally being able to make it legal. 

[Iamtheway]

2 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

Those are some of the best stories. Either 2 men or 2 women who have been together forever finally being able to make it legal. 

Totally agree! Some of the photos that has come out after legalisation has been so sweet it brings tears to your eyes. 

How anyone can be against that is just beyond  my understanding. As long as everybody is consenting adults other peoples marriages are really non of mine or anyone elses business. 

[vspielman]

4 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

The most flamboyant guy I ever knew was straight, I know a straight drag queen, and plenty of gay folks who don't fulfill any of the old stereotypes. Everyone is different.

This made me smile.  I met a straight crossdresser once at a gay bar.  I was so young and so green.  I didn't even realize at the time that cross dressers could be straight.  For obvious reasons, he was most comfortable at gay bars.  To make a long story short, he bought me a drink and we sat at a table talking the whole night.  He ended up coming home with me.  Awesome sex, lots of fun.  To this day, when I think of him, I smile. 

[Pukingpearl]

Slightly off topic, but I really enjoyed the documentary "Do I Sound Gay to You?" on Netflix. It explored many of the gay stereotypes and where they come from plus Dave Sedaris is on it, so that automatically makes it worth watching. 

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

This is sort of off topic in regards to the Duggars , but on topic with the thread drift. I was thinking about how retrograde the idea of gaydar was when I read that Bravo is considering re-booting "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" a few weeks ago. The show came out originally when I was 13, and at the time (2002-ish) it seemed progressive just seeing gay people on TV at all, period. It might have been good for visibilty in the L.G.B.Q.T community at the time, but in 2017 a reboot of that show seems...well, retrograde 

[jqlgoblue]

3 hours ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

This is sort of off topic in regards to the Duggars , but on topic with the thread drift. I was thinking about how retrograde the idea of gaydar was when I read that Bravo is considering re-booting "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" a few weeks ago. The show came out originally when I was 13, and at the time (2002-ish) it seemed progressive just seeing gay people on TV at all, period. It might have been good for visibilty in the L.G.B.Q.T community at the time, but in 2017 a reboot of that show seems...well, retrograde 

As a progressive Californian I agree ... but given a new political climate that looks to take us back 60+ years, maybe isn't so retro. 

[Cheetah]

I watched tonight's (honeymoon) episode.  Jinger looks super happy, and nothing about missing her sisters or missing her family.  I'm glad they are getting a few months to themselves to figure their relationship out.  

So question for people who have followed more closely - does Jeremy's family live in Laredo?  Or where are they?

[sillysally314]

On 2/27/2017 at 7:55 AM, Gobsmacked said:

I'm sorry, I shouldn't giggle because this is a serious topic with lots of good advice. BUT having read your first sentence I immediately thought of you teaching at Hogwarts.

Im off to the prayer closet to grow up!

you'll laugh when i tell you that one of our Sunday school programs is actually Harry & UU (a Harry Potter-themed Social Action curriculum where the kids learn about different Horcruxes - child slavery, sickness, animal cruelty, childhood hunger, etc - and do projects to raise money or awareness for that cause.)

for ex, they learned about attacks against POC, LGBTQIA, Muslim, and immigrant youth in schools after the election using info from the SPLC. they sold bean soup mix around the holidays and raised over $600 for the ACLU.

have i told you how much i love my job?!

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, sillysally314 said:

you'll laugh when i tell you that one of our Sunday school programs is actually Harry & UU (a Harry Potter-themed Social Action curriculum where the kids learn about different Horcruxes - child slavery, sickness, animal cruelty, childhood hunger, etc - and do projects to raise money or awareness for that cause.)

for ex, they learned about attacks against POC, LGBTQIA, Muslim, and immigrant youth in schools after the election using info from the SPLC. they sold bean soup mix around the holidays and raised over $600 for the ACLU.

have i told you how much i love my job?!

Ummm... where do I sign up for this job?