Girl Defined

[victoriasponge]

Me and manlysponge never even officially started going out, we just kinda assumed we were... let alone intentionally holding dating interviews with each other. (I might use this as my get-out clause if they accused me of cohabiting, technically under their rules we never got together in the first place)

Sounds so tedious though. And uninteresting. I don't want to date someone who agrees with me on every single topic (though my dear old man did tell me I could never be with a Chelsea supporter, and I stuck to that mission, God is good!!)

and can someone get them a public speaking coach, i hate their mmhmming.

[FloraKitty35]

5 hours ago, gameofunbeknowns said:

Oh honey. A Katya appreciation thread. Oh honeeey. I’m here for it. And if these fundies wanted natural makeup tips they’d study Valentina. That girl serves face.

And yet , their make up more closely Trixie Mattel, Bianca Del Rio, Peaches Christ, etc...

Edited March 6, 2018 by FloraKitty35
removed less

[hollyandivy]

i think I made it through 20 seconds of that video, then I couldn't stand the voices anymore. Content of those 20 seconds? No idea, I was too hung up on the constant chattering that was giving me hives!

[scoutsadie]

22 hours ago, usedtobenice said:

Maybe JRod should watch this 

The moment I saw the thread, I thought of Jill and wondered how long it would take for someone to mention her. Good job. 

I feel a SEVERE need for her to see and comment on this video. @littlemommy

Edited March 6, 2018 by scoutsadie
editing

[SamiKatz]

We need some Tammy Faye up in here.  At least she was memorable.

I don't really wear a lot of makeup, but I am wondering if my shampoo, conditioner and styling products are God honoring now.

 

[scoutsadie]

32 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I don't really wear a lot of makeup, but I am wondering if my shampoo, conditioner and styling products are God honoring now.

 

If you have to ask, they (and you) are going to Hell. Enjoy!

[Hane]

Way back in the ‘80s, I read an article about a “Christian” exercise class, distinguished by the non-form-fitting shorts and tees the participants wore (instead of the leotards and tights that were common then).  It was held in an all-women facility, so I have no clue what the big deal was.

And I once had a trainee who mentioned she was on a “Christian” diet, which basically amounted to “Eat only when you’re hungry.” Kind of a weird thing to encounter in Connecticut.

[Crooked.Stick]

@Hane

I give you Gwen Shamblin of Brentwood, TN. It's an interesting rabbit hole (search skinny for jesus).....The pictures are better tho. She wrote some very common sense diet book and made it into a "ministry" /cult/ lotsa money. It was pretty popular in lots of church lady circles back in the day. 

[Crooked.Stick]

Lemme just add a video for ya. Here's her "weigh down channel". It's all delightfully creeeeepy.

Spoiler

 

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Crooked.Stick
Holy sh**...the song...the intro song..ha

[Jellybean]

Gwen Shamblin...there are just no words. 

Actually, that’s not true. There are words. Here are some of them:

 

[EowynW]

9 hours ago, Crooked.Stick said:

@Hane

I give you Gwen Shamblin of Brentwood, TN. It's an interesting rabbit hole (search skinny for jesus).....The pictures are better tho. She wrote some very common sense diet book and made it into a "ministry" /cult/ lotsa money. It was pretty popular in lots of church lady circles back in the day. 

The higher the hair the closer to God. 

[Hane]

@Crooked.Stick, I’ve read a lot about Gwen Shamblin and am both intrigued and horrified!

[L1o2u3]

I am waiting for the announcement that they are engaged. I mean "Dav" will be a speaker at their conference, he'll have a q&a session at their online event...

This online event. You have to pay $12 to watch on your own. If you are watching with friends, you have to pay more... how are they going to control that? and wouldn't it be better to sell one ticket = access on one device? What do I do when I purchase a ticket only for myself and then somebody comes in while I'm watching the live stream? Do I have to throw them out because they don't have a ticket? Ridiculous. 

 

[JMarie]

I like how the one on the right is reading a bible passage (around 4:10) about women not braiding their hair, yet they both have braided hair.

[Hane]

I went into the video and did a quick fast-forward, landing on one of these bimbettes mentioning things like zits and wrinkles being the consequences of living in “this fallen world.” Holy suffering fucksticks.

[cindyluvs24]

Like, oh m’god??? I’m totally hearing Moon Unit  Zappa singing “Valley Girl” right now. Gag me with a spoon, fer shurrrrrr....

[Hashtag Blessed]

On 3/5/2018 at 2:49 PM, ladyamylynn said:

What would they think of this look?

This is officially my new casual look for Sunday Funday!

Thoughts while watching this video:

1. It took them all of .5 seconds to start talking about sex. Apparently, it really is all fundies think about. 

2. If some man ever spoke to me about my makeup and called me attractive when I was a teen my ONLY reaction would have been "Ew! No one asked you, you kid-touching perv!" 

3. Gold, pearls, and braided hair were restrictions that only applied at the time, but premarital sex is still prohibited regardless of the passage of millennia? There's a hole in that logic!

4. I wonder why God never said anything about Apple Watches? I think that Apple Watch doesn't reflect a heart of purity and holiness, in fact, it makes you look downright worldly! God was really specific about braided hair, so what gives? How am I supposed to decide how to feel about it if the Bible doesn't say anything!?

5. God created women to be beautiful? Fuck you, you brainless twits. My primary function is life is not to be ornamental. 

6. The girl on the right is clearly admiring her own face on the screen of whatever their filming with.  Every time she looks at the camera I can tell she's looking at herself. Pretty sure God said something about vanity?

7. The whole idea of "honoring God with your appearance" is repellant to me. Your actions and beliefs are supposed to be whats important. Your eyeliner cannot communicate purity of heart. All it communicates is that you care about your appearance. Which is fine, but let's not pretend that your pretty face is somehow a ministry.

8. I enjoy makeup from time to time, but these two make me want to paint my face with mud and start caterwauling at them that all women human beings and not decorative objects!

Fuck, now I need a drink. You hear that girls! YOU ARE DRIVING ME TOWARD THE DEMON OF ALCOHOL.

ETA: Here's a video to watch if you can't stand watching just those two spout their nonsense. This girl does a makeup tutorial in the background with hilarious side eye and critiques of their full video. 

Quote

 

 

Edited March 9, 2018 by Hashtag Blessed

[Beermeet]

@Hashtag Blessed. Like, omg I'm totally watching the video y'all just posted, having way to much fun with y'all.  

Those twits just explained away the briaded hair, gold and pearls thing with "they were talking about like, the temple prostitutes "  Riiiiight.  Because we all know those women had a ton of fine jewelry and were very well groomed. Right?!  I love the vlogger who is getting goth awesome to this!  

The one on the left with her " I like black and white, just tell me what to do and I'll do it!"  Ok, go take a long walk off a short pier, Jesus is on the pier!  I need a drink too.

[scoutsadie]

On 3/6/2018 at 11:24 PM, Crooked.Stick said:

@Hane

I give you Gwen Shamblin of Brentwood, TN. It's an interesting rabbit hole (search skinny for jesus).....The pictures are better tho. She wrote some very common sense diet book and made it into a "ministry" /cult/ lotsa money. It was pretty popular in lots of church lady circles back in the day. 

At first glance, I thought that top photo featured a table spread with food, given the immediately prior post about "Christian dieting" and eating only when hungry...and then I was rather horrified to realize that, no, those are CHILDREN draped over the table... what.the.fuck?

On 3/9/2018 at 11:29 AM, Hashtag Blessed said:

 2. If some man ever spoke to me about my makeup and called me attractive when I was a teen my ONLY reaction would have been "Ew! No one asked you, you kid-touching perv!" 

And then call the mall cop over and report that Roy Moore was breaking that town ordinance banning him from the premises again.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Holy uptalk Batman!

[louisa05]

So their 15 year old sister is featured in this video. Apparently, she has not aged up to peroxide for her hair yet, but she brings the hand flapping to a new and more annoying level! 

 

Edited March 12, 2018 by louisa05

[L1o2u3]

I found out that David just turned 24. That's really unusual in fundy circles, I would guess? I knew that he was younger than Bethany, but I thought it would be 2-3 years only. But since she does not really look and act like a 29-year-old...

[L1o2u3]

http://cdn.bakerpublishinggroup.com/processed/book-resources/files/Excerpt_9780801075568.pdf?1518457990 you can read the first chapter of their new book here. Kristen was discouraged from marrying her first boyfriend because her parents talked her out of it. 

[Timetraveler]

"Most girls dream of finding true love someday".

Honestly, I had dreams about going to college, but oké. Why are they always talking about love and guys? Girls and woman are so much more than Disney princesses waiting for Prince Charming.

 

[CurlyWurly]

Good lord these women are as dull as dishwater.  Their latest video is characteristically mind-numbing.  Yet again they demonstrate their utter inability to engage in critical thinking.  It seems Bethany and Dave asked around everyone they knew about what physical boundaries to put in place for their relationship (those conversations must have been 100% natural and not awkward at all!!!!1!!1).  The upshot seems to be that the ditzy blonde thought police will ban you from heaven unless you make sure to never think about anyone nekkid until God says it's ok.  

This also brings up my overall annoyance with their chosen 'ministry'.  It's not actually helping anyone.  I don't know San Antonio, I've never even been to Texas, but I know from travelling around the States that there's a huge problem with wealth disparity and educational access in many areas.  These women could have gone and found something useful to do that still fit with their conservative values--helping alleviate food/produce deserts, encouraging physical education and activity, campaigning for better public transport systems to get people to work--but no, they've stuck to their white, middle class bubble and are just talking louder and louder (and faster and faster) in their privileged echo-chamber. [rant over]