Tabitha Paine & Tim Robertson Engagement (includes sexual assault discussion)

[anotherone]

On 1/25/2017 at 0:50 PM, AnnaRuk09 said:

What a sick animal. His mother's the same for downplaying what he did. From pics, Tabitha does look happy but who know what she's really feeling. And why is this being called another Duggar scandal? It really has nothing to do with them. 

Well she's likely very invested in being a "good" mother so if she admits he was wrong, it would be a really bad reflection on her.  Any other person who has a life and identity separate from their kids could separate their actions and say the kid acted badly and was to blame, and keep their sense of self as a separate human being.  Maybe fundie mothers have such a hard time because their whole life is tied to motherhood and to say your child failed means you completely failed at your one job in life.

[Snarkle Motion]

On January 25, 2017 at 0:50 PM, AnnaRuk09 said:

What a sick animal. His mother's the same for downplaying what he did. From pics, Tabitha does look happy but who know what she's really feeling. And why is this being called another Duggar scandal? It really has nothing to do with them. 

Wasn't the engagement party held at the duggar house? The duggars are basically close family friends with another sex offender I think that's newsworthy. 

[Dandruff]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Can we change the term Anusgate to something else? 

Sorry - don't mean to offend.  Shall we stick with "something that happened"?  Or perhaps someone can suggest a more tasteful reference to this unpleasantness.

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Sorry - don't mean to offend.  Shall we stick with "something that happened"?  Or perhaps someone can suggest a more tasteful reference to this unpleasantness.

Idk. The sexual assault. The incident. 

I just hear the term anusgate and think of a door that goes over your butt. 

[FleeJanaFree]

TestimonyGate?

[Howl]

17 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

um , I Just read that not only does Tabitha get a man who is a rapist, but one who was previously married to a Nicole Gervase Ball....lUCKY GIRL ALL ROUND.  Not only is she marrying someone with marriage baggage but a middle aged man with all his lifestyle choices just the way he wants it.

 This is a guy in his 40s, right? There has to be an ex wife in there somewhere, or maybe two.  Ex wife would likely have plenty to say about him, but no way to get her take on the situation. 

[anotherone]

On 1/25/2017 at 11:31 PM, ClaraOswin said:

I truly do feel bad for Tabitha. Yes, she is an adult. But let's be honest...she has very little choice in any of this. She has to "keep sweet" and all that bullshit. Soon she'll be married to this disgusting creep and she'll have to do whatever he says. Even if she doesn't want to. It's awful. My heart hurts for the women in these types of cults.

What's the difference, really?  It's very likely anyone she'd marry is going to have some "inappropriate touching"s and "fell into..."s in his past.  Maybe that's why the girls are so anxious to get married young, so it can be before the guy gets a chance to get a chance to molest someone.  Poor Anna, she didn't get married young enough.

[princessmahina]

The term "Anusgate" almost made me snort toffee through my nose. 

Nasty af, but so hilariously gross.

But yeah, maybe it should be changed to something less funny/gross? After all, it's not a situation anyone should be laughing at.

[onekidanddone]

20 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

um , I Just read that not only does Tabitha get a man who is a rapist, but one who was previously married to a Nicole Gervase Ball....lUCKY GIRL ALL ROUND.  Not only is she marrying someone with marriage baggage but a middle aged man with all his lifestyle choices just the way he wants it.

What ever happened to not giving away pieces of your heart?  Or does that only apply to women? And by pieces they mean virginity? 

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Dying to know ... is there evidence of his prior marriage to Nicole Gervase Bell?

I bow to the sleuthing expertise of FJers.

[Queen Of Hearts]

13 minutes ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Dying to know ... is there evidence of his prior marriage to Nicole Gervase Bell?

I bow to the sleuthing expertise of FJers.

Whoa... what????  If true, this really makes the Paine's look bad. Not only are they selling off their daughter to a convicted sexual assaulter, his is may be a divorced one, at that? 

[ChickenettiLuvr]

I'm referring to @Fluffy14's post on page 12 wherein she references said Nicole.  My humble sleuthing efforts have produced no results. 

I'm curious to know because  (a) if true, the plot doth thicken, and (b) if true, I'd be pissed if the information was withheld from Tabitha.

**In potential marriage, I believe future spouse deserves to know about previous marriage, children, and criminal behavior. 

[RosyDaisy]

That's 2 big sins (according to their beliefs) and yet Dr. Paine just turns the other way. I thought divorce was worse to them than rape. What the hell is going on here?

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

Dying to know ... is there evidence of his prior marriage to Nicole Gervase Bell?

I bow to the sleuthing expertise of FJers.

I'm not finding any evidence of a prior marriage.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Thank you for responding, @Bethella.

Curious as to what @Fluffy14 was referencing in her post? .....

(One less untold horror to Miss Tabitha's way of thinking...)

[Chicken bones]

Unless she is some kind of public figure, why must we publicise this woman Nicole's full name? She maynot have anything to do with this shithole, other than having been married to him in the past.

[Dandruff]

7 hours ago, princessmahina said:

The term "Anusgate" almost made me snort toffee through my nose. 

Nasty af, but so hilariously gross.

But yeah, maybe it should be changed to something less funny/gross? After all, it's not a situation anyone should be laughing at.

I find the situation absurd.  Guy with a prior charge of rape/sodomy gets a job working as a security officer for a strict Christian college then is allowed to become engaged to the daughter of a doctor who gave up his practice to join a cult.

#cantmakethisshitup

[Carol]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

That's 2 big sins (according to their beliefs) and yet Dr. Paine just turns the other way. I thought divorce was worse to them than rape. What the hell is going on here?

Because Jesus

[Howl]

6 hours ago, Carol said:

Because Jesus

and because  a good redemption story takes care of everything.  It's like jesus + JESUS! on a stick.  It's like jesus + JESUS! on a stick in a taco with guac. 

Did I read upthread that the guy, in addition to security guarding, is attending the Christian "college" or taking "seminary" classes?  I'd be sad to think that a guy in his 40s hasn't made it past security guard at obscure Christian "college" in terms of upward mobility.  Doesn't bode well for supporting quiver filling. 

Anusgate indeed!  

[anotherone]

6 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I find the situation absurd.  Guy with a prior charge of rape/sodomy gets a job working as a security officer for a strict Christian college then is allowed to become engaged to the daughter of a doctor who gave up his practice to join a cult.

#cantmakethisshitup

Well with that history where else can you work?  Who else can you marry?  The fundie community seems very accepting of past sexual transgressions, at least for the men.

This is going to make me forever suspicious of born-again people. Are they converting because they have something to hide?

[JermajestyDuggar]

57 minutes ago, anotherone said:

Well with that history where else can you work?  Who else can you marry?  The fundie community seems very accepting of past sexual transgressions, at least for the men.

This is going to make me forever suspicious of born-again people. Are they converting because they have something to hide?

He works in construction and remodeling. He had pictures of kitchen remodels he had done on fb. I imagine this whole thing will hurt his business. 

[Carm_88]

30 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

He works in construction and remodeling. He had pictures of kitchen remodels he had done on fb. I imagine this whole thing will hurt his business. 

As well it should. The man had his penis fall into the ass of a stripper, he should face the consequences. 

[Lurky]

Here's a Q for people with experience of the culture:

I can see how having a "good" conversion story is valued, but does it always go that the more outrageous the sins, the better they appear?  I know FJers have said before about the pressure to have a "good" sin to be born again from, especially for people born into the culture (so Jinger talking about what an evil sinner she was as a young teen etc) - but are there lines that can't be crossed? 

Robertson is denying responsibility for his crime, of course, and trying to paint it as mutual sin, but if he took the path of "I was a rapist but Jesus Christ saved me - I deeply regret the pain I caused to my victim, but I'm grateful even a terrible sinner like I was can be forgiven", would he be accepted in the same way? 

[Howl]

So, it would be a question of "I fell into sin" vs "I fell into her vagina"? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

Here's a Q for people with experience of the culture:

I can see how having a "good" conversion story is valued, but does it always go that the more outrageous the sins, the better they appear?  I know FJers have said before about the pressure to have a "good" sin to be born again from, especially for people born into the culture (so Jinger talking about what an evil sinner she was as a young teen etc) - but are there lines that can't be crossed? 

Robertson is denying responsibility for his crime, of course, and trying to paint it as mutual sin, but if he took the path of "I was a rapist but Jesus Christ saved me - I deeply regret the pain I caused to my victim, but I'm grateful even a terrible sinner like I was can be forgiven", would he be accepted in the same way? 

I don't know the answer to this question but I have noticed in all the testimonies of born again fundies, they don't ever take full responsibility for their actions. Public school, college secular life, alcohol, loose women, Satan, the Internet, blah blah blah. Never once have I seen them take full responsibility without deflection to other people or things that their cult often portray as bad. It's a way to keep others in line. "See! Look what alcohol did! See! Look what unrestricted internet access did! See! Look what public school did!" And they all listen in fear thinking how lucky they are to be sheltered by their family.