Maxhell Part 6 - Boring you to death since...

[Season of life...]

On 12/20/2016 at 5:58 PM, FloraKitty35 said:

In Hannibal Lecter's defense, he did at least have some nice Chianti to go with the fava beans.  

True, true--plus, you have to admire someone who so strictly adheres to such a rigorous skin care regimen...

[Odd1Out]

I have been caroling before, once. Was awkward and never did it again. But they went out in below 0 weather and stood at people's doors, expecting those people to stand there in an open doorway. This would let the heat out and cold air in. People were pulled away from the warmth of their home to stand there with cold air hitting them all while they sang away. They even made Gigi, whom I think uses a walker, stand at the open door and listen. 

Maxwells, please think of other people once in a while . 

I agree that pic of Sarah is great and the 'Yours truly' seems more playful than usual for her  

 

 

 

.  

[Coconut Flan]

But it was on the blessed Maxhell schedule.  Who cares if it fits with anyone else's plans or comfort?

[SPHASH]

Smug Joe is usually the guitar player.  Wonder why he and Invisible Elissa weren't there.

[WonderingInWA]

9 hours ago, Odd1Out said:

I have been caroling before, once. Was awkward and never did it again. But they went out in below 0 weather and stood at people's doors, expecting those people to stand there in an open doorway. This would let the heat out and cold air in. People were pulled away from the warmth of their home to stand there with cold air hitting them all while they sang away. They even made Gigi, whom I think uses a walker, stand at the open door and listen. 

Maxwells, please think of other people once in a while . 

I agree that pic of Sarah is great and the 'Yours truly' seems more playful than usual for her  

 

 

 

.  

Someone should post that 'Yours truly' photo on Match (well, maybe Christian Singles instead).  She really looks pretty there.  And happy.

[nokidsmom]

Re: Maxwell caroling: this past weekend in the Midwest was the worst weekend to go out caroling or doing anything outside.  My neighbor ran out with his dog for like two minutes before running back in.  I know that it was only a week before Christmas weekend, so they had to get it in because the Almighty Schedule and it's what they did last year and the year before and the year before, etc.  The idea that maybe they should take a pass one time because of exceptionally cold weather would never occur to them.

 

[DutchMommy]

7 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Smug Joe is usually the guitar player.  Wonder why he and Invisible Elissa weren't there.

I think I can spot Joe in a few of the photos, like this one (back row, on the left). No sign of Elissa though.


But I can't find John in any of the photos; awol again?

[FloraKitty35]

"brought a ton of Christmas cheer to our neighbors who were surprised that we were out!"  Sarah, I will translate that into non-Maxwellian English for you.   The neighbors were shocked that the family cult  that resides in their community were bat shit crazy enough to go Christmas caroling in frigid weather.  

[Foudeb]

So what are the neighbours expected to do - take the poppy cake and then stand there holding it without any of those layers on and shiver away in the cold whilst being sung at?

And is it me or is it weird to give away baked goods to strangers. I wouldn't eat something baked by someone I don't know - sure they mean well, but do you know what state their kitchen is in, and whether they washed their hands before touching the food, or even whether the eggs they used were fresh.

If I lived in that neighbourhood I'd put a little sign on the door saying "the devil is being worshipped in this house" in the hope that they leave me alone.

[Dandruff]

47 minutes ago, FloraKitty35 said:

"brought a ton of Christmas cheer to our neighbors who were surprised that we were out!"  Sarah, I will translate that into non-Maxwellian English for you.   The neighbors were shocked that the family cult  that resides in their community were bat shit crazy enough to go Christmas caroling in frigid weather.  

I figured  that neighbors were laughing in their face (misinterpreted as cheer), followed by a quick "Thanks for dropping by" and an excuse to shut the door.

[Crocoduck]

Are there any Christmas carols about death and where we will go when we die?

I know the Maxwells have to stick to the schedule, but they look like they were all freezing in some of those photos - red noses, runny eyes, 17 layers of clothing. No danger of immodesty that day!

[Maggie Mae]

9 minutes ago, Crocoduck said:

Are there any Christmas carols about death and where we will go when we die?

 

Probably. There are a ton of depressing Christmas songs out there. Also terrible, re: Christmas Shoes. And lots of them can be stylized to be more depressing. Or, like, "Carol of the Bells" can bring to mind serial killers. 

This does bring up the question of "What DO the Maxwells sing in their caroling extravaganza?" I'm guessing anything about Santa or reindeer are out; some are probably "too Catholic." and then you are left with, what? The worst two songs on the planet? Jingle Bells and Deck the Halls? But those aren't giving praise to God. 

 

[Crocoduck]

@Maggie Mae I would have to wild ass guess the Maxwells sing traditional, religious songs like Away in a Manager and the Little Drummer Boy, but I am kind of hoping they wrote some of their own tunes about Jesus dying or something awful like that.

I agree with you that "Christmas Shoes" may be the worst Christmas song of all time. So depressing, yet hokey.

[halcionne]

@Maggie Mae Silent Night, in the saddest, do-you-know-where-you're-going-when-you-die, dirgiest arrangement possible

[usmcmom]

I still don't know what these people do that makes scheduling an event so doggone difficult. I mean, it just seems someone could have sent a group text: "It seems too cold for caroling. How about we go Tuesday or Thursday evening?" Seriously, what are they scheduling around??!!? Jobs? A hectic social calendar?? Kids' school activities??  I think, as others have mentioned, the Maxwells have made an idol of the schedule. 

Personal note: My family (my mom, siblings, nieces, nephews) were planning our Christmas party last Saturday when an ice storm hit. By 10:00 am; we had spread the word that we needed to cancel. By 2:00 pm, the venue was rebooked, everyone was able to commit to a new date and...voila! We rescheduled. This is with 30 people and most of the adults work, go to college, and/or juggle kids' school activities. Also, we live in three different towns -  not on a compound.   It is not that complicated!!  

I can't imagine being so afraid to go off schedule that I found myself out in dangerously cold weather singing Christmas songs because...THOU MUST NOT REVISETH THY SCHEDULE; NEITHER SHALL THOU ERASETH A WORD FROM THY SCHEDULE. NO! NOT EVEN ONE LETTER OR NUMBER SHALL BE CHANGED, LEST THOU BE PLAGUED WITH UNREST AND SUFFERETH MUCH FROM THE WRATH OF THE ALMIGHTY STEVEHOVAH. SO SAYETH THE MOST HOLY MANAGER OF THY HOME.  

Edited to add: I agree that Sarah looks beautiful in that selfie she posted. If she was allowed to have Facebook, it would be a lovely profile picture. 

[formergothardite]

I told my family guest are coming so we need to make this house look like a Maxwell cleaned it.  I even made my daughter wipe down the cabinets. 

[December]

4 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

"brought a ton of Christmas cheer to our neighbors who were surprised that we were out!"  Sarah, I will translate that into non-Maxwellian English for you.   The neighbors were shocked that the family cult  that resides in their community were bat shit crazy enough to go Christmas caroling in frigid weather.  

 

Also, it's probably 100x more awkward to wiggle out of an unwanted interaction with neighbors when they come right to your front door. When you can't tell Christmas carolers to go away, you just try and say something generic and pleasant.

Not that I'm speaking from personal past experience.

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

I told my family guest are coming so we need to make this house look like a Maxwell cleaned it.  I even made my daughter wipe down the cabinets. 

"We are having company! We must clean this house because we don't want people to think we live how we actually live."  

^^Me, every time. 

[fundiefan]

22 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

This is the weirdest sentence. It uses so many words to say so little. And so much passive voice. 

Weird in most of the world but it is perfectly Maxhellian and exactly what is expected.

And, wasn't it rude of them to go knocking on doors, in acknowledged frigid weather, asking people to stand there listening to them sing? With their doors open; no winter gear on; heating the outside?

The Maxwells see what they want and not consequences of their actions.

I would totally have slammed the door as I told them off in some form. I'm not usually quick enough to think of something witty at the time, but I would have said something as the door flew shut.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I still don't know what these people do that makes scheduling an event so doggone difficult. I mean, it just seems someone could have sent a group text: "It seems too cold for caroling. How about we go Tuesday or Thursday evening?" Seriously, what are they scheduling around??!!? Jobs? A hectic social calendar?? Kids' school activities??

Anal-retentive personalities?

[Justmurrayed]

I can't even imagine if neighbour-strangers came carolling at me. I honestly not sure how I'd react because I would want to be nice but when I'm cold and pissed off, I can barely contain my niceness(and I'm Canadian....) Maxwells are SO weird. Go to a homeless shelter and serve dinner to people who actually need helping, don't come carolling and think you're blessing others, you aren't. You are annoying them. 

[mango_fandango]

We actually had some carollers for the first time in years today. They just did a couple of verses of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". It's not particularly cold here. It was kind of nice, actually. I didn't actually see them though. Although of course, being Britain, we don't really have any Maxwell types here. 

[Trynn]

I live in another state, but in Michigan it has been absolutely bitter frigid cold. I would NOT a stand outside listening to carolers. If they came tonight when it's above freezing that's one thing.

[SassyPants]

Love that photo of Sarah. She looks like a totally different person.

[Coconutwater]

32 minutes ago, Justmurrayed said:

I can't even imagine if neighbour-strangers came carolling at me. I honestly not sure how I'd react because I would want to be nice but when I'm cold and pissed off, I can barely contain my niceness(and I'm Canadian....) Maxwells are SO weird. Go to a homeless shelter and serve dinner to people who actually need helping, don't come carolling and think you're blessing others, you aren't. You are annoying them. 

All of the kidults have expressed interest in ministry/humanitarian work and Steve has squashed it all. Jesse wanted to be an overseas missionary, Christopher an EMT, oh...I can't remember the others, but Nathan and The others of course were all talked out of it. I do wonder when something happens to Steve, how long before they start to do their own thing and do what they want? Maybe they are all to brainwashed to ever leave...I do have hope for John (small, but some)