Jingermy - We 'Knew' the Bride When She Used to Snarky Eyeroll

[Audrey2]

19 minutes ago, Lillybee said:

Even chaperoned I wonder how much time Jinger spent with Jeremy.

I've been thinking that, too. I know we've talked at length about having your first kiss on the same day you lose your virginity. I think it would be even scarier to do both of these with a man you've never been alone with before. I can't imagine going from never being alone with this man to sex in a day. (It's probably really awkward in the same way for the men, generally speaking, but we know why the Fundies have these really strict courting standards- it's to protect their wimmins!)

[actuallyjessica]

Has Jeremy or anyone come out and said he had a sexual past? I know God forgives all, but I wonder if Jinger had any reservations about that, especially when she was going in never even having been kissed (as far as they say).

My husband had one sexual partner before me, and I was inexperienced (he was my first kiss, and things moved very quickly once that happened, not Duggar fast... but fast) and I know before any of that happened I was very nervous about "living up" to his previous experiences, so to speak.

[eveandadam]

17 minutes ago, actuallyjessica said:

Has Jeremy or anyone come out and said he had a sexual past? I know God forgives all, but I wonder if Jinger had any reservations about that, especially when she was going in never even having been kissed (as far as they say).

My husband had one sexual partner before me, and I was inexperienced (he was my first kiss, and things moved very quickly once that happened, not Duggar fast... but fast) and I know before any of that happened I was very nervous about "living up" to his previous experiences, so to speak.

I know what you mean but I think that they brought up in a way that tells them that everything will be perfect when they obey to G-d and their headship (father, husband). so as long as that happens they think everything will pan out perfectly for them. I don't think they feel the pressure to live up to previous experiences their partner had; I even think they feel superior for not having any previous experiences.

Or do you think the Duggar girls see Anna and secretly blame her for not being available for her husband and that's their fear?

[just_ordinary]

So late to the party (visiting the newest adorable addition to our family in Dubai) 

LOVE the Jinger's dress. I'm sure it is not altered in any way because this style (neckline, sleeves) is very in right now. She looks so pretty with less eyeliner but I fear she won't drop it. Her whole look reminds me of Kate Middleton (especially the thick eyeliner).

Also like Jeremy's suit. Blue suits with red accents and brown shoes are also very in and soooo Pinterest. I don't get all the ideas of him being too old, too experienced, yada yada yada. A lot of people loose their virginity to a more experienced partner. Doesn't make it better or worse (that is what I figured after all my friends and I finished with that stage of life). People fell in love for the strangest reasons without having a plan (like oh she is so shy she will be easy to mold...). Till now I have no reason to believe otherwise. 

The style of the BM dresses are nice too but it seems like everyone got her own colour- wonder who the others are. 

Mrs. Vuolo looks gorgeous. 

I really hope the best for their future. Time will tell. 

Checked Google and it seems the election is over....

[MargaretElliott]

6 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

-snip- I don't get all the ideas of him being too old, too experienced, yada yada yada. A lot of people loose their virginity to a more experienced partner. Doesn't make it better or worse (that is what I figured after all my friends and I finished with that stage of life). People fell in love for the strangest reasons without having a plan (like oh she is so shy she will be easy to mold...). -snip-

I don't think the issue is the fact that she's marrying a more experienced guy. From what I've gathered (and what I've seen from the bits of the show I've watched), there's a vast gap in maturity level between the two. Jinger has been stunted by her parents. Her upbringing was intended to keep her sheltered, innocent, and pure. As we all know, her parents have failed her, instilling in her the belief that she is less-than, unworthy (as exemplified by her speech at Jessa's wedding rehearsal). It's an established fact that there is a power dynamic in fundie couples- the man is more powerful than the woman. The husband is the headship, and the wife is supposed to submit to him. Look up the "umbrella of protection" in reference to Gothard and IBLP.

What my point is, is that Jeremy has experienced the world as a whole. He may have a more extensive sexual history (which is completely normal for a 28-year-old), but that's not the important part. The important part is that he, an adult, who has seen the world, had jobs, and played professional sports, is attracted to a woman who has demonstrated, on camera, the emotional maturity of a teenager with her first crush. Perhaps this is because she is a middle child in a large family, and thus was largely ignored. This is the first time she's been the center of attention. Perhaps she is more mature than she seems. However, on this subject, I'm snarking on what I see, not what I speculate could be happening in her own head.

The thing that I think most FJ posters find odd is that someone this mature is attracted to someone so immature. That, combined with well-known fundie opinions of headship, submission, and purity, make it clear that in this relationship is not balanced. Jeremy is more powerful, and Jinger is less powerful. This is one of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. I am NOT saying that Jeremy is abusive. BUT, the fundie system is toxic, and fosters an environment where women have no power, and men have all the power. This power disparity is much clearer in Jinger and Jeremy's relationship than in Ben and Jessa or Derick and Jill's relationship, because of their difference in age and world experience. It calls to mind some questions- who would want a powerless wife? Who would want a wife that is supposed to serve and obey them without question? Who would want a meek, moldable wife? And what does this say about Jeremy? We'll find out in later seasons.

Sorry for the essay, I just wanted to be thorough.

[MarblesMom]

2 minutes ago, MargaretElliott said:

Jinger has been stunted by her parents. Her upbringing was intended to keep her sheltered, innocent, and pure. As we all know, her parents have failed her, instilling in her the belief that she is less-than, unworthy (as exemplified by her speech at Jessa's wedding rehearsal). It's an established fact that there is a power dynamic in fundie couples- the man is more powerful than the woman. The husband is the headship, and the wife is supposed to submit to him. Look up the "umbrella of protection" in reference to Gothard and IBLP.

@MargaretElliott  Nice summary!  Case in point for a "match made in Heaven" then.  

I wish them the best, but in my mind, this match-up is just another of the same wash, rinse, repeat marriages that the fundies like.  Headship.  Barf.

[that1blondegirl]

Has Jeremy or anyone come out and said he had a sexual past? I know God forgives all, but I wonder if Jinger had any reservations about that, especially when she was going in never even having been kissed (as far as they say).

My husband had one sexual partner before me, and I was inexperienced (he was my first kiss, and things moved very quickly once that happened, not Duggar fast... but fast) and I know before any of that happened I was very nervous about "living up" to his previous experiences, so to speak.

I wonder if there was a "past relationships" section on the questionnaire. If so, I wonder if Jim Bob shares that part with the girls.

[paulypepper]

On 11/7/2016 at 0:26 PM, SassyPants said:

Potentially crying because of the paps- FFS, If not for the fame whore parents, TV and the paps, these idiots would still be in frumpers and bogarting bread to hide and eat in the bathroom. If it's too much for you, walk the eff away and live a life that corresponds to your education and skill levels. NOW that would be something to be upset or cry about.

These people are all adults. They didn't seem to mind the paps when the money was rolling in.

I love that you used "bogarting"....one of my fav phrases, unfortunately the young peeps I work with have no clue what it means. thanks for the giggle fit you sent me into!

[MorningMist]

1 hour ago, paulypepper said:

I love that you used "bogarting"....one of my fav phrases, unfortunately the young peeps I work with have no clue what it means. thanks for the giggle fit you sent me into!

Tbh, as a young person I thought "bogarting" was referring to Harry Potter... I had to google.

[2manyKidzzz]

I said before and I do think that Jinger sees a role for herself in those ministries at Jerem's church....I think the were single moms, single pregnant moms and more outreach of that type. that would keep her busy and she could "bible" those people for all she's worth.

And I still don't understand what differences there will be in their relationship since Jeremy is not Gothard, but fundie. Or maybe Jeremy will jump on the bandwagon of a more restrictive headship relationship and move toward Gothardism. Maybe those are Jinger's expectations. I dunno. I wish her only happiness, as she defines it. 

[titerlitury]

I watched all available congratulation videos and I find out one of them as refreshing. That with Jill and Hannie, when evidently younger sister knew that is all some claptrat to do. Nothing personal folks, just to get it over with.

[CrazyMumma]

I'm sure I might start to be annoying here    but my brother married a girl who was the emotional maturity of a young teenager....  (both the same age) but he fell in love with her beauty and she had the characteristics he wanted in a wife.  He knew the only way she could leave home was via marriage and so he married her.  It's been 3 yrs since they married.  Today she has grown up.  She is actually stronger in the relationship then him.   She rules the roost well and truly.  But he loved her and wanted her even though she was the emotional maturity of a 14 yr old.  TBH that bugged him.  He knew it and knew he'd have to let her grow up.  As soon as she was out from her suffocating father (he followed Gothard and Vision Forum). 

Jeremy MIGHT well know that Jinger is immature... but time sure can help with that.   The fact is that yeah... Jeremy might have seen her on tv... but he too won't know her well... It'll go both ways... neither know each other well. I wish them well and I hope Jeremy is as good to Jinger as my brother has been to his very sheltered wife. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, CrazyMumma said:

I'm sure I might start to be annoying here    but my brother married a girl who was the emotional maturity of a young teenager....  (both the same age) but he fell in love with her beauty and she had the characteristics he wanted in a wife.  He knew the only way she could leave home was via marriage and so he married her.  It's been 3 yrs since they married.  Today she has grown up.  She is actually stronger in the relationship then him.   She rules the roost well and truly.  But he loved her and wanted her even though she was the emotional maturity of a 14 yr old.  TBH that bugged him.  He knew it and knew he'd have to let her grow up.  As soon as she was out from her suffocating father (he followed Gothard and Vision Forum). 

Jeremy MIGHT well know that Jinger is immature... but time sure can help with that.   The fact is that yeah... Jeremy might have seen her on tv... but he too won't know her well... It'll go both ways... neither know each other well. I wish them well and I hope Jeremy is as good to Jinger as my brother has been to his very sheltered wife. 

I think the point others are trying to make is that Jinger has much more to lose in this type of relationship. Your SIL got lucky. Jinger might get lucky or she might not. The point is that she doesn't have a lot of options if he does turn out to be a terrible match. And it's likely we will never know. So all we an do is hope for the best.

[montyollie]

I am having a hard time keeping up with the five threads of 20+ pages and I have yet to make a comment, so I skipped ahead to make this one.  Sorry if it's been discussed before ....

but did this website seriously steal our comments off FJ to write an article???

http://www.inquisitr.com/3693635/did-jinger-duggar-and-jeremy-vuolos-wedding-break-lawson-bates-heart/

[Arix]

1 hour ago, CrazyMumma said:

I'm sure I might start to be annoying here    but my brother married a girl who was the emotional maturity of a young teenager....  (both the same age) but he fell in love with her beauty and she had the characteristics he wanted in a wife.  He knew the only way she could leave home was via marriage and so he married her.  It's been 3 yrs since they married.  Today she has grown up.  She is actually stronger in the relationship then him.   She rules the roost well and truly.  But he loved her and wanted her even though she was the emotional maturity of a 14 yr old.  TBH that bugged him.  He knew it and knew he'd have to let her grow up.  As soon as she was out from her suffocating father (he followed Gothard and Vision Forum). 

Jeremy MIGHT well know that Jinger is immature... but time sure can help with that.   The fact is that yeah... Jeremy might have seen her on tv... but he too won't know her well... It'll go both ways... neither know each other well. I wish them well and I hope Jeremy is as good to Jinger as my brother has been to his very sheltered wife. 

I was also in a controlling family situation, and dated someone older than me.

There were two ways out that would still let me see my siblings, they were marriage and university. He pushed me hard towards university, though I don't doubt he'd have married me if that was my only out.

Some of my ex's mannerisms are rather like Jeremy's. I hope to hell Jeremy is half as good a person.

[Fun Undies]

Hey y'all, I haven't read the last two pages and the jinger threads are going by so fast, that I probably just missed it ~ so if this is a repost, ignore it, but figured I'd share in case they haven't been already

For what it's worth, she at least looks happy, and not afraid

Also, Johanna looks beautiful.  What a gorgeous little lady!

 

[Pasta]

I want to see what shoes Jinger wore. 

[AnnaRuk09]

7 hours ago, that1blondegirl said:

 

 

 

I wonder if there was a "past relationships" section on the questionnaire. If so, I wonder if Jim Bob shares that part with the girls.

 

 

 

Knowing their strict beliefs, there just has to be a section about past relationships. JB would have to know everything they have done in order to protect his precious virgins. It was interesting though that when Jeremy First brought up the questionnaire on the show, he said he had "let the cat out of the bag," meaning the public wasn't suppose to know about it.

Since it was revealed that he had been arrested and had drank alcohol throughout his college years, people had the inclination (myself included) that there's no possible way he's a virgin and hasn't been sexually actively to some extent. It has never been clearly said concerning that specific area (not that they need to reveal it to the public) but it wouldn't surprise me if he gave himself away before Jinge. If that's the case, I wonder how she feels about it. But part of me says since she is so sheltered and innocent to these things she probably wouldn't understand the depth of what the means to lose your virginity 

[SassyPants]

39 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Knowing their strict beliefs, there just has to be a section about past relationships. JB would have to know everything they have done in order to protect his precious virgins. It was interesting though that when Jeremy First brought up the questionnaire on the show, he said he had "let the cat out of the bag," meaning the public wasn't suppose to know about it.

Since it was revealed that he had been arrested and had drank alcohol throughout his college years, people had the inclination (myself included) that there's no possible way he's a virgin and hasn't been sexually actively to some extent. It has never been clearly said concerning that specific area (not that they need to reveal it to the public) but it wouldn't surprise me if he gave himself away before Jinge. If that's the case, I wonder how she feels about it. But part of me says since she is so sheltered and innocent to these things she probably wouldn't understand the depth of what the means to lose your virginity 

29 YO

Former professional athlete

Lived in a dorm

Known drinker

Arrest record

Virgin? I think it would be unlikely

[Vex]

I just watched the most recent episode of counting on (through a mirror site) and god, it made me sad. I haven't regularly watched the show since it was 18KAC and I remember Jinger seeming so snarky and lively. The idea of her getting pregnant in a few months and starting an endless cycle of childbirth makes me so sad. She seems like a lovely girl but she's so sheltered and I can't see what she could possibly have in common with Jeremy apart from religion and I can't see why he would want a sheltered, emotionally immature girl unless it's to toe the fundie party line.

I can't really even find it in me to wish her happiness as she defines it because that's likely endless babies. She has talent and passion, she could have a life outside of being a wife and mother. But she won't. I guess she's special because I've been on FJ for so long and she's always been our beacon of hope.

[seasonsoflife]

On 11/8/2016 at 4:14 PM, Pretzel said:

I'm hardly a Duggar fan but the snark on Michelle's shoes has become ridiculous. Yes, they're "convent shoes" and not exactly pretty or fashionable but they don't have to be. Her shoes need to be comfortable and have arch support.

 We don't know for sure but we can assume that she does need a special shoe simply from the fact that this woman's had 19 children, many pregnancies, some with other health issues and it would surprise me if all the birthing for Jesus had not left its marks on her overall health, especially her back and feet. I don't want to imply that needing an orthopedic shoe necessarily has to do with what she put her body through, but it seems very likely.

Michelle Duggar doesn't have to conform to anybody's idea of what constitutes a proper MOTB outfit. If she felt comfortable in what she wore then more power to her. Their cult puts so much pressure on these women to always look groomed and neat and pretty and fashionable and modest on top of that, that we should give them a break once in a while. As long as people show up clean, kempt and somewhat in accordance to the event, I really don't care what they wear in particular. 

It is interesting how we complain about how oppressive and gender-normative the world these women live in is, but we snark about someone not wearing feminine enough shoes . I have never worn heels, in the past I didn't like them, now I can't due to issues with one of my legs. My future children will have to deal. 

[Meridae]

7 minutes ago, seasonsoflife said:

It is interesting how we complain about how oppressive and gender-normative the world these women live in is, but we snark about someone not wearing feminine enough shoes . I have never worn heels, in the past I didn't like them, now I can't due to issues with one of my legs. My future children will have to deal. 

It's about appropriate attire, not sexism. Michelle certainly has the resources to find dressier yet comfortable shoes, or even spruce up her current pair, yet she chose not to.

[sunshine]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

29 YO

Former professional athlete

Lived in a dorm

Known drinker

Arrest record

Virgin? I think it would be unlikely

Unless he was awkward, I mean he was replace by his buddy as goalie. So unsuccessful goalie becomes a preacher and somehow crosses paths with Ben by weird coincidences of one guy not wanting to hang out with Ben at the time due to maturity level.

[justmy2cents]

50 minutes ago, Meridae said:

It's about appropriate attire, not sexism. Michelle certainly has the resources to find dressier yet comfortable shoes, or even spruce up her current pair, yet she chose not to.

Actually we don't know what shoes she wore to the wedding, or what outfit.  We saw a picture from the after party at the TTH.  She very likely changed out of the wedding outfit.  We'll have to wait to see.  She did wear nicer flats to Amy's wedding.

[MarblesMom]

Hi.  I just stopped in to see the latest... and I had to double - check what thread I was in.... this is not Say Yes To The Dress, right?!

I would encourage the wedding-loving commenters to go back and re-read @formergothardite and @MargaretElliott's posts.

Regardless of how lovely a wedding is, these people are part of a cult.  Jinger has never been able to have free agency, speak or think for herself, and now she has been given away to someone who might as well be a casual acquaintance, as they have had zero alone time to get to know each other.  He is her headship and she must joyfully obey.

Think about that.

I apologize if I sound snippy - I just get a little frustrated over the shoes and dress comments when there is a much darker, more demoralizing situation going on.  Don't be distracted by the shiny objects.