BOOK REVIEW: "The Power of a Transformed Wife"

[polecat]

2 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

She has absolutely no compassion for women in tragic situations. Her lack of compassion is shocking. I really think she has something pathological going on and I can't put my finger on what it is.  The lack of compassion for others and the refusal to apologize are big red flags. She derives a sickening thrill out of offending others and being controversial. I want her to spend a day in a battered women's shelter and state with a straight face that she would still sleep well at night given her blog postings. The sad part is, she totally would have no remorse. She doesn't have an ounce of empathy for others in her heart.

 

 

She could easily spend a day in a shelter because she'd blame every one of the women she met there. They'd not be submissive enough or modest enough. They provoked him, or they weren't faithful. Maybe they worked, or they flirted. Maybe they were opinionated. We've all heard abuse apologists. She is supreme among them because she does it right to victims' faces, which is why I think she's not just an apologist: She's also an abuser (imo). 

[Hisey]

Lori has a video of herself up on her facebook page. She is teaching women to obey their husbands. She says it's her "first video." I am going to leave the room to watch it, so my young teen doesn't hear it and learn the wrong values.

She also says she had never planned to be a "youtuber" but she also had never planned to write a book. Apparently, though, the masses have been begging for a video. It's not up on youtube (yet).

[usmcmom]

21 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Lori has a video of herself up on her facebook page. She is teaching women to obey their husbands. She says it's her "first video." I am going to leave the room to watch it, so my young teen doesn't hear it and learn the wrong values.

She also says she had never planned to be a "youtuber" but she also had never planned to write a book. Apparently, though, the masses have been begging for a video. It's not up on youtube (yet).

I listened to it twice and I believe she quoted the wrong scripture. She said Titus 3:5 teaches obedience to out husbands. Did I hear her wrong??

Titus 3:5New International Version (NIV)

5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,

i believe she meant to speak about Titus 2:3-5?? 

I'm she was nervous with this being her first video, but she would probably want to change that. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

10 hours ago, Hisey said:

I really like Jilly. Even though she'd probably vote for Trump if she lived in the US. She seems like the anti-Lori. She is filled with love and acceptance for her family members. She has nothing but kind things to say online. She seems puzzled and confused when people get nasty. She doesn't seem at all wealthy, yet oozes contentment and happiness. Her life might be difficult (I think she has a severely handicapped adult child) but she never mentions problems. When one of her adult married kids said they would not be having children, she says she learned to accept that. She did not throw Bible verses at them till they changed their mind. She seems to love her husband in a very simple, adoring way (it's always "my precious Antony") that is completely foreign to Lori

I knew Jilly back on the Flylady board before it was discontinued. IIRC, her son is autistic .

[molecule]

Lori has a gentler voice than I expected her to have--but she not only is "teaching a lesson about wives obeying their husbands," she tells them to obey right away.

She uses the word "obey" differently than I do. She talks about when husbands ask their wives to do something. Is agreeing to a request the same as obeying? I always think of that word as someone telling me what to do, not asking me.

[Koala]

A video was an original idea.

Reader 9 hours ago:

Quote

Have you thought of having a YouTube ministry? 

Lori:

Quote

I have been asked to have one but I don't think it's for me. At least not now. I said this about writing a book too! 

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

So just a few hours later all of a sudden a video is exactly her. Stephanie has done videos. She may be behind the inspiration.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

In the comments on her blog about the "Crown" post, 2 people asked Lori where the "He Yelled at Her" post was.  Lori admits she deleted it for "private reasons".  

What private reasons could she possibly  have -- except for getting rid of all the FB comments that disagreed with her.

Lori, Queen of the Delete Key

[lawfulevil]

Let's do this thing.

Divorce was "never" in their vocabulary.

I... don't get this, at all. I really don't understand what's so virtuous about gritting your teeth through life with someone you can't stand. In a time when marriage was a financial contract between two people whose families had agreed that this was mutually beneficial, and romantic love wasn't a major factor (or a factor at all), I understand why you would take breaking that contract VERY seriously. There was a lot at stake for entire families. But I'll note that there were plenty of aristocratic marriages where the couple rarely (or never) saw one another (to the point of childlessness- Richard I comes to mind) and plenty more where they saw each other barely often enough to create the required offspring. That's not really what we'd call a marriage, in the modern sense. I think it'd be pretty easy to stay technically married to someone you despised for life if you had totally separate households, lives, and probably lovers...

Her marriage was saved by finding Debi Pearl, and she bought Created... by the case. If nothing seems to be helping, just become a total doormat! That'll fix everything. You'll find loads of peace, probably.

I think if I had gobs of money, no job, and plenty of hired domestic help like Lori does... I'd find expecting nothing of my husband and still finding time/energy to stay hot and "give him" the required daily "fellowship" pretty easy.

Chapter 1- My Life Growing Up

All the problems in their marriage the first 23 years come down to her rebellion, apparently. None of the things she blamed Ken for were valid (even if they, well, probably were) because Jesus. Her story is about pain. And late-model Mercedes and $1500 couch re-covers. But mostly PAIN.

Her parents loved Jesus but argued too much. Lori has always been bossy as fuck. Nobody liked her until college, to the point that her mom was her best friend and they had boundary problems. But she was a great mom because she "disciplined us when we were young" (spanking/beating, I assume) and "fixed us nourishing food" (big salads?). Her dad worked hard and was a great provider. Reading between the lines, I don't think he was home very much.

They went to church a lot but the church was too liberal for Lori's taste now, and they only taught her stories in Sunday School. Sorry, Lori, but most Sunday School is just babysitting with macaroni.

She claims she didn't have any close female friends in high school because all the girls she knew were insufficiently Godly. I think it's more likely that it's because she was a bossy insufferable prig.

Her mom wouldn't let her date until sixteen and her first date was a total asshole and probable date rapist. I wonder what she said to him to get her to "take her home right this instant"? Especially since it sounds like whatever she said terrified him.

It kinda sounds like her 2 high school boyfriends said whatever about Jesus they needed to say to round some bases.

She was an "everything but" kind of "virgin" at marriage.

When she went to Christian college she finally made friends, so she claims. For four years she didn't date much of anyone. She met Ken in December of her senior year because he was her roommate's brother. She thought he was attractive at first sight, but he had a serious girlfriend at home. She met him again a few months later (February) and claims he promptly dumped the other girl to be with her. I think it's pretty likely that he either saw them both for awhile- Miami is a long way from California- or the other girl dumped him. At any rate, after graduation (June, probably?) she went to Miami and stayed with his parents for a month. At the end of the month he proposed, and she said yes even though she didn't really like him very much ("we no longer enjoyed each other like we did at college") and they'd been fighting nearly constantly.

Yes, that's the sign of a good relationship- when you're already fucking sick of each other less than six months after your first date.

Ken then moved in with her parents and they continued fighting until they married at the end of December, a little more than a year after first meeting. They went through with it because they wanted to fuck ("strongly attracted to one another") and they thought they'd make pretty babies ("we knew we would make great parents").

Next time- The Trailer Years

Also I just did some addition and 22 + 35 is only 57- I thought Lori was older than that, 60s at least.

[laPapessaGiovanna]

1 hour ago, lawfulevil said:

Her marriage was saved by finding Debi Pearl, and she bought Created... by the case. If nothing seems to be helping, just become a total doormat! That'll fix everything. You'll find loads of peace, probably.

I think if I had gobs of money, no job, and plenty of hired domestic help like Lori does... I'd find expecting nothing of my husband and still finding time/energy to stay hot and "give him" the required daily "fellowship" pretty easy.

But then you'd induce your brain cells into desperation driven apoptosis and you'd become a harebrained, illogical and passive aggressive frustrated person like Lori. I wouldn't wish it to you dear.

[Showtunesgirl]

Can anyone post screenshots of the deleted post? I'm curious

[Granwych]

17 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

LOL, No! No cold drinks allowed while reading Lori. I think it might be a sin. 

You could eat a huge salad, though.  And show some cleavage, for goodness' sake!!

[TeddyBonkers]

My book came in yesterday and I've only had time to read the first chapter. Initial thoughts- I am profoundly sad for "dating/engaged to Ken" Lori. She had no excitement over her engagement . Did she marry Ken out of obligation ? None of this chapter indicated that she felt love in her heart for him.

[polecat]

5 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

At any rate, after graduation (June, probably?) she went to Miami and stayed with his parents for a month. At the end of the month he proposed, and she said yes even though she didn't really like him very much ("we no longer enjoyed each other like we did at college") and they'd been fighting nearly constantly.

Yes, that's the sign of a good relationship- when you're already fucking sick of each other less than six months after your first date.

Ken then moved in with her parents and they continued fighting until they married at the end of December, a little more than a year after first meeting.

 

1

So, what's she's saying is ... she and Ken cohabited prior to marriage? 

Technical virgin my arse.

OH OH OH YOU GUYZ!!!!! 

I bet I know why she has such a bug up her arse about butt stuff.

 

(eta: I do know people can cohabitate without having sex. I'm being silly.)

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

(eta: I do know people can cohabitate without having sex. I'm being silly.)

I wonder what Lori would think of my marriage.  We cohabitated beforehand and were "technical" virgins before our church wedding (Catholic though, does Lori hate Catholics?  I assume so).  My mother was so proud of me that I "did everything right".    Turns out that's because I'm a lesbian!  Of course the years of long distance followed by preserving our purity by just saying no to penetration was easy for me and if I wanted to lord it over others without filling in important specifics I'm sure I could.  I thought I could pray it away and when we said I Do in front of God, everything would be perfect and fixed, because that's what God wants, right?  That's what more than one priest had told me.  Fake it until you make it, essentially.  Instead I had a nervous breakdown and haven't been able to step foot in a church in years without having a panic attack.

My husband is my best friend, we have been best friends for 20 years now (and will be married for 10 next year), he recognized and accepted my sexuality before I could (though he did think I was more of a Kinsey 3 than a 5), we've made our marriage work for us in all areas and he tells me daily how much he loves me and how happy he is, and I do the same for him.   He has supported me through so much - dealing with childhood abuse, chronic illness, my very tangled, abusive and crisis prone family...I often feel as though the abuse and illness I went through were worth it, because without that series of events, we would never have met.  I'm a staunch feminist - and there's the whole sexuality thing - but my husband never feels like he's not being taken care of, or taken for granted.  At home I wait on him like a 50's housewife with making and serving his every meal, picking out his clothes, etc because I want to and it makes me happy - but he helps with the dishes, does the vacuuming and mopping and enjoys it.  I can't recall my father ever even washing a glass, and he would mutter about "f***ing c***s" if my mother (meekly and gently) asked him to put something in the sink or take off his work boots before he came inside.

My husband and I fight, and then we make up.  We have the things that drive us nuts about the other, but we talk through them when we fall into bad behavior - I tend to lash out like an angry, tired toddler, he becomes rigid and authoritarian and hates to apologize, I'm one of those women constantly saying "I'm sorry" for any and no reason, which drives him crazy, I'm emotion fueled and he might as well be Vulcan most of the time - but we've never gone to bed angry.  Both of us have parents that didn't communicate and didn't like each other, and we're conscious of that and strive for something better.

I don't want him to lay down his life for me, I want to spend every moment we have together, and I'd want to die with him.  He is my heart, my strength, my everything.  And he thinks Lori is full of shit and has no idea what she's talking about when it comes to men or God.

[samurai_sarah]

Carry on here: