BOOK REVIEW: "The Power of a Transformed Wife"

[usmcmom]

Dear Free Jinger,

Please excuse usmcmom from her book report today.  She was up very VERY late last night watching the Cubs win the World Series and exchanging texts with her far-away children.  Further, she read Lori's post today and was sent into a temporary head-exploding fit of rage, having to calm herself by watching Cubs victory videos. 

Usmcmom should be back on her (emotional) feet tomorrow and will resume her assigned duties. 

Thank you.

Sincerely,

USMC Mental Health Professional

[Hisey]

I have tried to think about it from Lori's point of view.

She's been a SAHM for decades (even after the kids are long grown). I'm one myself, and I can assure you that it is not the path to admiration and glory. It can be repetitive and boring. people think you're lazy, people think you have nothing interesting to say (and some days, I don't!)  

Anyway, she's had this non-glamorous job for decades, and then suddenly she starts this blog and becomes a "teacher". A teacher of the Bible, the most important book in her life! She can write down all the things she 's been thinking all these years ("those yoga pants are immodest on that slut!") and no one can interrupt her or change the subject. In contrast, readers praise her. Those who don't can be banished.

Then she goes viral, and the attention is intoxicating. All her friends and relatives are asking her about it. People are calling her a "teacher" and discussing her "teachings" and she didn't even have to get a theology degree!

It sounds like she put a lot of time, energy and money into this book, in an effort to continue getting more of this praise. It's clear she's trying to become a brand. It sounds like she got her family involved, that it was a big deal. Lori going viral, writing a book, becoming the Transformed Wife. She was really invested in it.

Then the book hits Amazon, and many people write negative reviews. Her book page looks terrible, with lots of (quite valid) criticisms. All her friends and family can see the negative reviews. She can't control or stop the comments about her hypocrisy. Instead of praise, she faces the criticism she has avoided all these years (via the delete button).

I'm writing this on a day when I feel great disgust towards Lori and her views. As I said above, her "teachings" hurt women like my abused mother, and that really sickens me. But I still think it's helpful to try to understand why she acts like she does.

[Jellybean]

3 hours ago, Hisey said:

Yes, she is. My own father started screaming at my mother the moment he walked in the door in the  evening. Not every evening, but 3-4 times per week.

She quaked and shook as she open the door to let him in the house. We all did. He screamed about everything and anything. The house was always immaculate, the kids upstairs and silent, yet he screamed and cursed and (I found about later) hit her. My mother, a gentle and kind person, never cracked the code on what would stop him from screaming. I think she suspected it was all her fault, but never knew what she was doing wrong, exactly.

My mother is dead now, but I think of all the other women out there who are reading Lori's words and hating themselves.

 I found Lori's post very triggering.

@Hisey I'm so sorry that Lori's words have been hurtful and triggering for you. No-one deserves to be treated in the ways that you described above. No-one. To blame anyone for being on the receiving end of abuse is absolutely beyond the pale.

I'm angry and upset for you (and those in similar circumstances) that Lori Alexander considers it both appropriate and Godly to write in support of abusers, shifting the blame firmly away from the perpetrators. It's a well-aimed kick in the ribs to those who are already down. 

[Emilycharlotte]

I guess one of the things that most disturbs me about Lori is that she seems incapable of seeing a situation from someone else's viewpoint, or of understanding how it might feel to walk in someone else's shoes. It isn't just that she doesn't care how other people feel, it's that she doesn't seem to have the capacity to empathize. 

[Colby]

OMG "Stephanie" is now accusing MaryAnn of cyber crimes!  This is some scary stuff. 

"It is not just a “different opinion,” that this woman was offering up. It’s fine to write a negative review.

This woman (and others may be as well due to their comments around the web), seemed to be plotting against you Lori, literally planning out what they’d say to slander your character. It was intentional malicious libel and harassment.
There’s proof enough for an attorney of these women’s comments around the web that they pre-meditated on these things against you and your book, hoping that they could actually cause your editor to pull it from being published. That’s pretty criminal if you ask me.

And as to me looking up who this woman was that was harassing and threatening me on my blog for being Protestant, there is nothing illegal about searching that free information out when it’s available all online. She emailed me using her real name – it was freely given to me. It is not the same as doxxing someone, I’m perfectly within my rights to know who harasses or threatens me or my family for our beliefs. WordPress provides the IP address of EVERYONE who comments on a blog, that IP address gives that person’s personal information to the blog owner, even right down to the Zip Code they live in, and coordinates on the map. That is what happens when you comment on a wordpress blog. If your lawyer could make a case of harassment due to what was said, they can possibly get the house information, phone number, real names, etc. from the internet servicing company due to having that IP Address. Simply put: just because you think you’re anonymous online, you still can’t commit crime and get away with it.

Christians who bring justice are not somehow “unChristian.” Maybe it’s because we’re a police family, we don’t take harassment or libel lightly. And faith wise, I don’t think it’s good to allow people to get away with crimes… that’s not wanting what’s best for them. We don’t allow physical crimes to go unpunished, police officers are called God’s ministers in Romans for a reason. So why on earth would cyber crimes be any different?"

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Stephanie is dragonfly who we once talked about. So for someone who accuses of changing names....

 

[polecat]

Quote

WordPress provides the IP address of EVERYONE who comments on a blog, that IP address gives that person’s personal information to the blog owner, even right down to the Zip Code they live in, and coordinates on the map. That is what happens when you comment on a wordpress blog.

 

I no longer have a WordPress blog, but when I did, this was NOT how it worked. It provided the IP address, sure, and a city, but that's it. And the city isn't always correct. For example, my IP address doesn't show my correct city right now.  Because IP addresses aren't like a giant phone book when it comes to location. They're just a rough estimate. (And anyone using a VPN isn't going to be nearly as trackable.)

Quote

If your lawyer could make a case of harassment due to what was said, they can possibly get the house information, phone number, real names, etc. from the internet servicing company due to having that IP Address. Simply put: just because you think you’re anonymous online, you still can’t commit crime and get away with it.

 

This is true. But a negative review is NOT a crime. And again, offering sympathy for what would have been an unpleasant situation for virtually any other teen girl (but not Lori, apparently) is even more certainly not a crime. I'm absolutely baffled as to how she is so offended by this. 

 

[Loveday]

34 minutes ago, Colby said:

OMG "Stephanie" is now accusing MaryAnn of cyber crimes!  This is some scary stuff. 

"It is not just a “different opinion,” that this woman was offering up. It’s fine to write a negative review.

This woman (and others may be as well due to their comments around the web), seemed to be plotting against you Lori, literally planning out what they’d say to slander your character. It was intentional malicious libel and harassment.
There’s proof enough for an attorney of these women’s comments around the web that they pre-meditated on these things against you and your book, hoping that they could actually cause your editor to pull it from being published. That’s pretty criminal if you ask me.

And as to me looking up who this woman was that was harassing and threatening me on my blog for being Protestant, there is nothing illegal about searching that free information out when it’s available all online. She emailed me using her real name – it was freely given to me. It is not the same as doxxing someone, I’m perfectly within my rights to know who harasses or threatens me or my family for our beliefs. WordPress provides the IP address of EVERYONE who comments on a blog, that IP address gives that person’s personal information to the blog owner, even right down to the Zip Code they live in, and coordinates on the map. That is what happens when you comment on a wordpress blog. If your lawyer could make a case of harassment due to what was said, they can possibly get the house information, phone number, real names, etc. from the internet servicing company due to having that IP Address. Simply put: just because you think you’re anonymous online, you still can’t commit crime and get away with it.

Christians who bring justice are not somehow “unChristian.” Maybe it’s because we’re a police family, we don’t take harassment or libel lightly. And faith wise, I don’t think it’s good to allow people to get away with crimes… that’s not wanting what’s best for them. We don’t allow physical crimes to go unpunished, police officers are called God’s ministers in Romans for a reason. So why on earth would cyber crimes be any different?"

I'm trying to find this, and can't see it anywhere on her FB page or on her blog. Have you got a link?

[Imrlgoddess]

I'm needing to understand something, on her blog post retort to the whole rape/not rape comment,  TMichelle straight up says the action, as it was described, was not assault and no officer would ever come down on a young man for such a thing.  Are people truly this naive or willfully ignorant?  Per the Google:

Quote

 

What qualifies as an assault?

The crimes of assault, assault and battery, and aggravated assault all involve intentional harm inflicted on one person by another. Any crime involving a physical attack (or even the threat of an attack) is usually classified as an assault, a battery, or both.

 

At what point does overpowering another human being physically not legally equate assault?  It's kind of like playing poker...you have two pair of 8's.  You may read them as two pair because that's how you choose to play your hand.  The hand is four of a kind according to the official rules of the game regardless of how you personally choose to see them.  If the attackee chooses not to fuss, report, or make a deal of it, that's their choice, but it doesn't negate what the action is.  

So we're again back to the whole verbiage problem... "we can't call a spade a spade because Ida wanna and you can't make me"

[bitterseltzer]

It's such a trip to go between reading Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? and Lori. On the other hand, it's really useful to have the language needed to understand how toxic the things she says are.

[Colby]

The bottom comments

 

https://thetransformedwife.com/the-time-i-was-never-nearly-raped/

 

[Imrlgoddess]

I think perhaps it's been removed...I've scrolled through the whole comments section twice over and can't find it either. She did get called out for encouraging Stephanie to send her the chicks contact info.

[Koala]

Interesting comment:

Quote

I have to say Lori, that I find this thread very uncomfortable and frankly, vindictive and ungodly:

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:9

This, I believe, should have been your response to Stephanie’s offer rather than a request for this woman’s personal information. I will leave aside for now what I think about the fact that Stephanie investigated her in the first place.

If you truly believe you are being targeted for the sake of the gospel, there is NOTHING in Scripture that justifies going after a fellow believer who disagrees with you to attempt to ruin her life or her reputation in her community.

I was planning on buying your book, but since I review the books I read on my blog, I am seriously reconsidering the purchase. What happens if I write that I disagree with some part of your book? I have to worry about being sued or doxxed?

Not only is this targeting of those who offer public disagree ungodly, it’s un-American. A person with a different point of view should have as much right to speak freely as you do.

Lori:

Quote

Terry,

For one thing, I never said I was going after anybody, did I? These are my words, “Can you email me her name, Stephanie? I sure would appreciate it! Oh, and thank you for your comment and support.” I am thinking about calling her and trying to talk with her since she has been harassing me for many years and enjoys slandering me on Amazon and any chance she gets but we would never sue anyone. We never have and never will. I know they hate the Lord and not me. It’s a spiritual battle and I have written that I leave it in the Lord’s capable hands.

Blessings!

1) She is soliciting contact info. for people who leave negative reviews in order to contact them personally.  OH MY GOD.  Do these people have any clue how inappropriate that is?  I am just stunned.

2) They absolutely threatened to sue Google back in 2014 when Ken was at FJ.  We have quotes.  

[Colby]

[Koala]

This is getting crazier and crazier.  I am still just  that she wants to call a negative reviewer at her home.  I can't even...

[Colby]

Here's a better screenshot of the bottom of the comments

 

[polecat]

It's a self-published book. How is her editor going to stop it from being published? Are these people that dumb, or are they deliberately obtuse? I never can tell.

[Loveday]

Thanks, @Colby  When I went to that page earlier, those last comments just weren't there. Very weird! 

[louisa05]

A negative book review is not a "cyber crime". I'm not a lawyer but I'm still fairly confident in saying that. 

 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

1 hour ago, Colby said:

OMG "Stephanie" is now accusing MaryAnn of cyber crimes!  This is some scary stuff. 

"It is not just a “different opinion,” that this woman was offering up. It’s fine to write a negative review.

This woman (and others may be as well due to their comments around the web), seemed to be plotting against you Lori, literally planning out what they’d say to slander your character. It was intentional malicious libel and harassment.
There’s proof enough for an attorney of these women’s comments around the web that they pre-meditated on these things against you and your book, hoping that they could actually cause your editor to pull it from being published. That’s pretty criminal if you ask me.

And as to me looking up who this woman was that was harassing and threatening me on my blog for being Protestant, there is nothing illegal about searching that free information out when it’s available all online. She emailed me using her real name – it was freely given to me. It is not the same as doxxing someone, I’m perfectly within my rights to know who harasses or threatens me or my family for our beliefs. WordPress provides the IP address of EVERYONE who comments on a blog, that IP address gives that person’s personal information to the blog owner, even right down to the Zip Code they live in, and coordinates on the map. That is what happens when you comment on a wordpress blog. If your lawyer could make a case of harassment due to what was said, they can possibly get the house information, phone number, real names, etc. from the internet servicing company due to having that IP Address. Simply put: just because you think you’re anonymous online, you still can’t commit crime and get away with it.

Christians who bring justice are not somehow “unChristian.” Maybe it’s because we’re a police family, we don’t take harassment or libel lightly. And faith wise, I don’t think it’s good to allow people to get away with crimes… that’s not wanting what’s best for them. We don’t allow physical crimes to go unpunished, police officers are called God’s ministers in Romans for a reason. So why on earth would cyber crimes be any different?"

She sounds like a paranoid on a power trip. 

I am convinced that she's trying to scare people into not writing critical reviews. The "information" she spouts is factually incorrect and probably deducted from investigative TV series. The average person cannot find you from your IP address. Mine tells you that I am in Milan, 2 hours away from where I actually live.

Lori and her minions sound less Christian and more unhinged by the day.

[Loveday]

37 minutes ago, Koala said:

This is getting crazier and crazier.  I am still just  that she wants to call a negative reviewer at her home.  I can't even...

I can't either. I'm picturing Ken getting on the line and offering to send M&Ms. 

[Evangeline]

Men can't influence their wives' behavior? That's interesting. Last I checked there was an entire book of the Bible about just that -- Hosea. Shouldn't Lori Alexander, the Internet's Finest Bible Scholar, know that? (Hosea is obviously allegorical, but Lori is too dumb to know that.) maybe someone who follows her can point that out. I bet Ken will claim the Bible is wrong there, which is always a treat.

[lawfulevil]

53 minutes ago, Loveday said:

I can't either. I'm picturing Ken getting on the line and offering to send M&Ms. 

You're lucky if that's all Ken does when he gets on the phone, because it's sure not all he does in Lori's comment section and anyone can see that.

Him: "Are you an attractive woman? You sound attractive. You sound thin. All you really need to be a good wife is a daily spanking." *heavy breathing*

Her: "Uh.... what? I thought this was about Lori's terrible book."

Him: "Yeah, yeah, I mean, for your husband to do it, of course. Maybe ten swats... but you sound like you need more. You're a stubborn wife, aren't you? A real bad girl. He'll need to spank you more..."

Her: "...I'm hanging up now."

Him: "No, wait! I'll send you M&Ms. Lori's book. Right, about obedient wives... You're not obedient, are you? Maybe I should just cane you. I mean, not me, your husband. Yeah, caning's really good."

Her: *hangs up*

Him: *texts her 3 bible quotes, a picture of a sad puppy, and a picture of his pants bulge**... within like 45 seconds. He's wearing basketball shorts.*

**The fundie "unwanted dick pic" equivalent is often "unwanted clothed pants bulge", in my sad experience. Like it somehow doesn't count as texting some random woman your junk if it's covered in (very thin, clingy) fabric?

[Loveday]

1 minute ago, lawfulevil said:

You're lucky if that's all Ken does when he gets on the phone, because it's sure not all he does in Lori's comment section and anyone can see that.

Him: "Are you an attractive woman? You sound attractive. You sound thin. All you really need to be a good wife is a daily spanking." *heavy breathing*

Her: "Uh.... what? I thought this was about Lori's terrible book."

Him: "Yeah, yeah, I mean, for your husband to do it, of course. Maybe ten swats... but you sound like you need more. You're a stubborn wife, aren't you? A real bad girl. He'll need to spank you more..."

Her: "...I'm hanging up now."

Him: "No, wait! I'll send you M&Ms. Lori's book. Right, about obedient wives... You're not obedient, are you? Maybe I should just cane you. I mean, not me, your husband. Yeah, caning's really good."

Her: *hangs up*

Him: *texts her 3 bible quotes, a picture of a sad puppy, and a picture of his pants bulge**... within like 45 seconds. He's wearing basketball shorts.*

**The fundie "unwanted dick pic" equivalent is often "unwanted clothed pants bulge", in my sad experience. Like it somehow doesn't count as texting some random woman your junk if it's covered in (very thin, clingy) fabric?

Oh, geeze... I was eating, you know. Suddenly, I'm just not that interested in dinner. LOL.

[feministxtian]

Good lord...Lori is coming unhinged! Well...she doesn't have her handy-dandy delete key available to her so she can't take it. Dumb bitch, you publish something like that, you're going to get push back.