Joy & Austin 34: Baby Three

[Giraffe]

8 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I don't really care for Austin. He doesn't seem super nice. Maybe he doesn't like being taped but this is at least some of the money they have coming in.

Yes! I always feel like I’m in the minority here because I don’t find him likeable at all. He always* seems dismissive and belittling when it comes to reacting to things Joy’s excited about. 
 

*admittedly I’ve only seen a handful of their videos because he seems like such a disinterested jerk and I have a low tolerance for watching him. 

[Idlewild]

It’s not the first time Austin has come across as a rude jerk in videos - remember when Joy had her hair done? I get he may not enjoy being filmed, but he is the headship in their beliefs- if he doesn’t want it to happen, it won’t happen. However much he dislikes the videos, he seems to enjoy owning vehicles and numerous trips etc, which I’m pretty sure Joy’s social media pays for.

Edited April 22 by Idlewild

[Melissa1977]

On 4/2/2023 at 11:25 PM, Johannah said:

This is why I’ve assumed Michael Bates Keilen might decide to “adopt” an embryo instead

Michael has health issues (clotting disorder?). It makes in vitro very dangerous, because needs lots of hormonal meds. I think she hasn't adopted because she only wants an infant and it's difficult and expensive. And I suspect her husband prefers to be childless. I see them adopting by the time they approach their 40s. 

On 4/7/2023 at 4:06 PM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

THEN negotiations started for money. I was genuinely shocked how much money the pregnant family asked for and received. Then part way through the pregnancy they decided they wanted thousands more. The adopting family was very upset but determined to go ahead so the agency actually negotiated the Financials again

How can it be legal? It's basically selling a baby. 

[Johannah]

8 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Michael has health issues (clotting disorder?). It makes in vitro very dangerous, because needs lots of hormonal meds. I think she hasn't adopted because she only wants an infant and it's difficult and expensive. And I suspect her husband prefers to be childless. I see them adopting by the time they approach their 40s. 

The egg retrieval part of IVF requires a lot of hormones, but technically you can do an embryo transfer without any hormones. You just time it with your own natural ovulation. Usually you’re given a trigger shot (which is just HCG) to cause ovulation to occur, and often you’re given progesterone afterwards as a precautionary measure, but neither of those are required or have side effects that would be an issue with a clotting disorder.
 

I have done four embryo transfers, 2 of them completely natural/unmedicated. There is no known medical reason why Michaela couldn’t “adopt” and transfer an embryo. I assume pregnancy itself hasn’t been deemed unsafe for her given that she has now been pregnant once and has been actively attempting pregnancy for nearly a decade. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

13 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Michael has health issues (clotting disorder?). It makes in vitro very dangerous, because needs lots of hormonal meds. I think she hasn't adopted because she only wants an infant and it's difficult and expensive. And I suspect her husband prefers to be childless. I see them adopting by the time they approach their 40s. 

How can it be legal? It's basically selling a baby. 

In private adoptions I guess most anything goes. Nobody of friends family who was talking about it batted an eye except to condemn the birth family for not sticking to the 1st financial agreement.

[Knight of Ni]

I saw an article where she pulled a prank on Austin. She called him and said she was in the emergency room in labor. Especially considering her past history, that's a really shifty prank to pull on her husband. 

[marmalade]

14 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

I saw an article where she pulled a prank on Austin. She called him and said she was in the emergency room in labor. Especially considering her past history, that's a really shifty prank to pull on her husband. 

That was part of last week's vlog. She fessed up quickly. She was there waiting to be called up for her weekly stress test at the hospital. For whatever reason, her hospital has patients check in at the ER. 

[CanadianMamam]

On 4/25/2023 at 12:21 AM, marmalade said:

That was part of last week's vlog. She fessed up quickly. She was there waiting to be called up for her weekly stress test at the hospital. For whatever reason, her hospital has patients check in at the ER. 

Mine did too. You had to check in at the ER and then head up to L&D. It was a logistics thing, ER triage is open 24-7 and on the ground floor, easy to access. 

[Giraffe]

On 4/24/2023 at 7:15 AM, Knight of Ni said:

I saw an article where she pulled a prank on Austin. She called him and said she was in the emergency room in labor. Especially considering her past history, that's a really shifty prank to pull on her husband. 

What the everloving fuck!!! That would’ve been in bad taste without their history. With their history??? No! Absolutely not! That’s straight up cruel!
 

Eta: IMO that falls in the category of couples who claim to love playing “practical jokes” but really all they’re doing is justifying emotional abuse. 

Edited April 26 by Giraffe

[JermajestyDuggar]

I pulled a mean prank on my bf when I was around 20. I would never do something like it today (20 years later). I was young, immature, and dumb. I’m guessing Joy is immature like so many other fundies and she will look back on it with regret someday. 

[fluffernutter]

My aunt did something like that to my mom. She called my mom on April fools day and said she was in labor and needed a ride to the hospital. The cruel part was that my mom didn't drive. She had been in an accident, no one got hurt but she had a lot of anxiety afterwards and just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know how it all played out, I was really young, but I know my mom always held that against her sister in law. 

[Seeking]

There is so much to unpack here. The book written by the oldest girls describes a time when JB essentially kidnapped another family’s children (I believe the Bates). It was portrayed as a practical joke. Who would ever consider this as funny or appropriate?!?!? I found the story horrifying. Warped upbringing indeed - apparently this legacy is considered acceptable and sadly continues. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

On 4/26/2023 at 10:38 PM, Seeking said:

There is so much to unpack here. The book written by the oldest girls describes a time when JB essentially kidnapped another family’s children (I believe the Bates). It was portrayed as a practical joke. Who would ever consider this as funny or appropriate?!?!? I found the story horrifying. Warped upbringing indeed - apparently this legacy is considered acceptable and sadly continues. 

How did he kidnap them?

[Mama Mia]

On 4/24/2023 at 7:15 AM, Knight of Ni said:

I saw an article where she pulled a prank on Austin. She called him and said she was in the emergency room in labor. Especially considering her past history, that's a really shifty prank to pull on her husband. 

Wait - isn’t she due May 23rd So she would have been at least 36 ish weeks when she did the prank? Given everyone’s reaction I thought it would  have been very pre-mature and risky - not near term . I could see how she’d think it was a harmless joke. Not something I’d do, but certainly not traumatizing, or something I’d relate to the premature stillbirth. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

On 5/10/2023 at 1:15 AM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

How did he kidnap them?

The families had gone out for ice cream, and most of the Bates kids were in their van while Gil and Kelly were in the store. Jim Bob drove the van away. The kids knew that it was a joke and they were safe, but it was an awful thing to do to Kelly.

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

On 5/10/2023 at 1:44 PM, Mama Mia said:

Wait - isn’t she due May 23rd So she would have been at least 36 ish weeks when she did the prank? Given everyone’s reaction I thought it would  have been very pre-mature and risky - not near term . I could see how she’d think it was a harmless joke. Not something I’d do, but certainly not traumatizing, or something I’d relate to the premature stillbirth. 

It wasn't exactly clear but her "prank" seemed to be pretending to be in labor for about a minute while on a facetime call with Austin.  To the viewers, she mumbled something about don't worry Austin already knew...I kinda thought she meant he knew she was at the hospital/ER for the test. 

[marmalade]

I suspect we will hear about an induction date on this week's vlog. She was only dilated 1 cm last week, and the doctor wouldn't schedule a date yet.

[fluffernutter]

I wonder if she is pushing or hoping to get induced today or this evening to have a Mother's Day baby. 

[Mama Mia]

Why is she being induced?

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

5 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

Why is she being induced?

I think it's because of her having big babies?

[fluffernutter]

I think when you attempt a VBAC it's better to go a bit early and be under supervision the whole time? I might have that wrong. And I think she had a successful VBAC after her first-born, so I'm not really sure.

Edited May 14 by fluffernutter

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, fluffernutter said:

I think when you attempt a VBAC it's better to go a bit early and be under supervision the whole time? I might have that wrong. And I think she had a successful VBAC after her first-born, so I'm not really sure.

Yes, Evelyn was a VBAC. But I don't recall if she was induced. If Not is induced this week, it's at 39 weeks, so not all that early.

[Mama Mia]

4 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

I think when you attempt a VBAC it's better to go a bit early and be under supervision the whole time? I might have that wrong. And I think she had a successful VBAC after her first-born, so I'm not really sure.

Yikes. Hope they’re sure baby is really ready to go if that’s the case.  I had a really bad experience in pretty much identical circumstance. 

[Cults-r-us]

On 3/30/2023 at 8:24 AM, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

Honestly, adoption requires home studies, money etc and sexy times are free. I think that's a big part of it. (Also, adoptable babies are rare and they may not be up to coping with older, traumatized kids.)

I think the fundie family lifestyle of receiving frequent little blessing doesn't jive with adopting a child who requires a lot of time and attention (which would be any child experiencing trauma). I think Myka Stauffer, for example, who rehomed a seriously disabled child they adopted from China, might of had more success integrating him into the family had she not kept having more babies.

[patsymae]

19 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

I think the fundie family lifestyle of receiving frequent little blessing doesn't jive with adopting a child who requires a lot of time and attention (which would be any child experiencing trauma). I think Myka Stauffer, for example, who rehomed a seriously disabled child they adopted from China, might of had more success integrating him into the family had she not kept having more babies.

Myka Stauffer is one of the numerous fundies who were and continue to be "called to adoption" of kids they have no idea how to cope with and often "rehome" when they don't fulfill the adopter-as-savior fantasy.. (e.g., see Kathryn Joyce's "The Child Catchers). Plus these people don't spend a lot of time and attention on their bio children, much less the outliers.

And adopting domestically is not only expensive, it involves the fact that the child already has a natural family (you don't just get to go to the store and pick yourself up a child, no matter how hard "adoption professionals" try to make that happen. Although being Christian and in a loose, "adoption friendly" state might make it easier for Michael if she wanted that, the fact remains that up to relinquishment the natural mother has a say over who can adopt her child, and many would not choose a family that doesn't value education or aspirations.

That said, there are still fundie churches that pressure unmarried mothers to relinquish their children to members in good standing, so I guess that's one option. But probably not so prevalent in their community.