Michael and Brandon Keilen

[sophrosyne]

Someone should Insta them to suggest that Brandon switch to boxers. His whities are probably so clenched-teeth tightie that he's shootin' blanks.

[Scribber]

I'm glad my friends and family don't badger me about not having kids or a husband yet.  I don't know that I'd be able to brush off the questions if I was having fertility issues, I'd be a mess

I have been married for 14 years. We have one daughter and a whole bunch of miscarriages before we gave up.

I still get that question all the flipping time.

[QuiverDance]

Yeah fertility issues effed with my head big time, and I wasn't raised to believe birthing babies was my only purpose as a human on planet earth.  She is probably feeling horrible that there is no baby yet, and it makes me really sad for her becaue I have been in her shoes, and it is so so so heartwrenching.  Of course, my problems resolved themselves, and I have two beautiful children.  No doubt she will have many beautiful children.  

[justmy2cents]

On last night's episode Michael and Brandon joined the family when they went mudding.  This was the first time that she got to see Kaci.  It seemed that Michael held her the entire time they were there and wouldn't let anyone else hold her.  You could see just how much she loves babies. During the talking heads the family all remarked on how much she loves kids and how all the kids love Brandon and he would make a great dad.  I thought it was leading to an announcement.

[JordynDarby5]

6 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

On last night's episode Michael and Brandon joined the family when they went mudding.  This was the first time that she got to see Kaci.  It seemed that Michael held her the entire time they were there and wouldn't let anyone else hold her.  You could see just how much she loves babies. During the talking heads the family all remarked on how much she loves kids and how all the kids love Brandon and he would make a great dad.  I thought it was leading to an announcement.

So did I. I kept thinking it was coming and then nothing.

[zygote373]

1 hour ago, JordynDarby5 said:

So did I. I kept thinking it was coming and then nothing.

I think it's very telling that there wasn't ANYTHING after a Michael-loves-babies segment like that. No pregnancy announcement, but also no mention of her wanting kids, of her and Brandon's plans, of how they are "praying on the Lord's timing", on them trying to start a family. Nothing. There has to be a reason they aren't asking her about it. With all the other couples, even when they weren't pregnant, they would joke around with "we'll see!" when asked about timing and number of kids. I think they are struggling.

[actuallyjessica]

I feel very sad for Michael. No matter how people try and spin it they are both from (fertile!) families that do not believe in birth control and have been married for over a year with no announcement of a pregnancy. Obviously there is something going on, and not just them waiting until financially stable or putting off children because they are choosing to. Unless the koolaid drinking is all a big lie and they're secretly anti-everything-their-form-of-religion-stands-for, something is going on.

As someone who has been TTC our first child for 5 years now and had 2 miscarriages with my last one as recently as a week ago, you learn to read behind the lines with other couples that are also clearly struggling, even if the struggle is not public. There are many cues and behaviours and Michael displays them.

Maybe there was supposed to be an announcement and before airing they edited it out. I am hoping that we are wrong, and that she is currently pregnant with a healthy baby and simply preferring their privacy. Not unlikely if they have struggled, many couples wait longer as long as possible to announce. In fact, 2 of her sisters actually have not announced until 20 weeks so maybe she could be the same, or even wait for longer.

She also has not responded to "are you pregnant?" comments lately. "Is it baby time yet?" Is a little different. Michael may have meant, no, it is not time for the baby to arrive yet.

It reminds me of the non-struggling Jessa, when they were clearly keeping her pregnancy with Spurgeon quiet. She would simply say "no announcement yet!" Which was true, there had not yet been an announcement. And unless reading into it, one would simply think "no pregnancy yet". Word play and all, without actually lying.

[Percy]

I am sorry for your loss.

[DutchGirl]

I am so sorry for your loss to.

[Casserole]

I've spent a majority of my time on FJ hoping against hope that all fundies and their offspring were infertile, solely to save children from being born into an abusive cult... and yet here I am being sad for Michael. It can't be easy to be in her shoes, especially when they've been told since birth that babies are a sign God loves you and no babies = horrible sinner being punished. 

[BeccaGrim]

18 hours ago, JordynDarby5 said:

So did I. I kept thinking it was coming and then nothing.

I thought the same thing. They couldn't be parading her around with the baby and talking about having kids and then not...but they didn't. 

[Carm_88]

Babies are such a sensitive subject. I don't get why people ask about that. It's a very personal issue and you have no idea what is going on with a woman or with a man when you ask these questions. I am single and have cats I don't really consider myself to be broody about babies. Maybe every now and again. Of course people make comments and it seems silly to be wondering if I will ever have children when I have years and years of chances yet. And even if I never have children, if I decide that it's not something that I want; why does it matter? Why do people make it their lives? 

[JessaBlessa]

3 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I thought the same thing. They couldn't be parading her around with the baby and talking about having kids and then not...but they didn't. 

I thought a baby announcement was coming, too. Finally a surprise. But, no. It seems almost cruel to make an episode like that about Michael if she was having difficulties. 

[tumblr]

2 hours ago, JessaBlessa said:

I thought a baby announcement was coming, too. Finally a surprise. But, no. It seems almost cruel to make an episode like that about Michael if she was having difficulties. 

My theory is that when they filmed all the episode/talking heads they either thought Michael would have an announcement by the time the episode was set to air or Michael was pregnant when it was filmed but lost the pregnancy and asked for the announcement to be redacted until she felt ready to address the loss.

[RosyDaisy]

I've spent a majority of my time on FJ hoping against hope that all fundies and their offspring were infertile, solely to save children from being born into an abusive cult... and yet here I am being sad for Michael. It can't be easy to be in her shoes, especially when they've been told since birth that babies are a sign God loves you and no babies = horrible sinner being punished. 

I'm thinking solely of the children. No child deserves to be born into that abusive cult. I don't give a damn about Michael's or any fundie women's feelings. Lives of children trumps any emotion a fundie woman's feelings any day.

[alba]

9 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I'm thinking solely of the children. No child deserves to be born into that abusive cult. I don't give a damn about Michael's or any fundie women's feelings. Lives of children trumps any emotion a fundie woman's feelings any day.

I agree that children don't deserve to be born into this cult, but I think it's possible to both feel sad for Michael and simultaneously hope she doesn't get pregnant as long as she holds these harmful beliefs. I can't get behind the posters who hope Michael will make a pregnancy announcement, because I don't, but I still feel sympathy for her situation.

What I do hope is that her struggles with infertility force her to question the beliefs she was indoctrinated with, and she and Brandon leave the cult and have a world of options available to them to raise a child with love and open-mindedness.

[BobTheWalrus]

On 15/10/2016 at 10:20 PM, Carm_88 said:

Babies are such a sensitive subject. I don't get why people ask about that. It's a very personal issue and you have no idea what is going on with a woman or with a man when you ask these questions. I am single and have cats I don't really consider myself to be broody about babies. Maybe every now and again. Of course people make comments and it seems silly to be wondering if I will ever have children when I have years and years of chances yet. And even if I never have children, if I decide that it's not something that I want; why does it matter? Why do people make it their lives? 

Because historically speaking (ie looking at human existence as a whole), having children is the next natural phase of life after getting married/ entering a long-term partnership. That's just how it is, and it's really quite a recent development in human history that we can choose if and when to have children. And therefore it's even more recent that people (women) can express any kind of preference. For that reason I don't find it strange that people would think it matters or want to know. But having had minor fertility issues myself, I do think people should be more sensitive about voicing their wonderings!

[Palimpsest]

3 hours ago, BobTheWalrus said:

Because historically speaking (ie looking at human existence as a whole), having children is the next natural phase of life after getting married/ entering a long-term partnership. That's just how it is, and it's really quite a recent development in human history that we can choose if and when to have children. And therefore it's even more recent that people (women) can express any kind of preference. For that reason I don't find it strange that people would think it matters or want to know. But having had minor fertility issues myself, I do think people should be more sensitive about voicing their wonderings!

I disagree somewhat.  Also historically speaking, people have tried to practice birth control for millennia.  It is even in the Bible (sin of Onan) and methods of BC are documented in Ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome. We just have safer and more effective methods of contraception today.  

People have struggled with infertility for millennia too. Again from the Bible: Sarah and Abraham, Rachel and Jacob, Isaac and Rebecca, and Elizabeth and Zachariah.  These days medicine can help somewhat with that - and is probably infinitely better than relying on prayers.  The difference today is that people are more open about talking about the choices they are making and the struggles they may be having in this area.

Like you, I don't find it particularly strange that family, friends, and random busybodies want to speculate and wonder why a couple isn't reproducing like bunnies.  However, making the assumption that everyone wants babies, and having the insolence to ask people directly about reproductive issues is, and always has been, incredibly rude.  I think discussing it behind their backs is pretty rude too.

Always, always, wait until the person (or couple) bring up the subject themselves.  Only then can you discuss it with them - and please refrain from criticizing their choices even if you disagree*.

* Unless they are Quiverfull with more children than they can afford or parent in any decent fashion.

 

[Carm_88]

4 hours ago, BobTheWalrus said:

 I do think people should be more sensitive about voicing their wonderings!

I have a friend who now if someone asks if and when she is going to have a baby, she goes into long very detailed description of her last period. When obviously they cut her off and tell her that they don't want to know that she says "Oh? You seemed very interested in what was going on in my uterus a few minutes ago." I don't think I could do it but it's one way to stop it. 

[JesSky03]

On 10/15/2016 at 0:42 AM, actuallyjessica said:

I feel very sad for Michael. No matter how people try and spin it they are both from (fertile!) families that do not believe in birth control and have been married for over a year with no announcement of a pregnancy. Obviously there is something going on, and not just them waiting until financially stable or putting off children because they are choosing to. Unless the koolaid drinking is all a big lie and they're secretly anti-everything-their-form-of-religion-stands-for, something is going on.

As someone who has been TTC our first child for 5 years now and had 2 miscarriages with my last one as recently as a week ago, you learn to read behind the lines with other couples that are also clearly struggling, even if the struggle is not public. There are many cues and behaviours and Michael displays them.

Maybe there was supposed to be an announcement and before airing they edited it out. I am hoping that we are wrong, and that she is currently pregnant with a healthy baby and simply preferring their privacy. Not unlikely if they have struggled, many couples wait longer as long as possible to announce. In fact, 2 of her sisters actually have not announced until 20 weeks so maybe she could be the same, or even wait for longer.

She also has not responded to "are you pregnant?" comments lately. "Is it baby time yet?" Is a little different. Michael may have meant, no, it is not time for the baby to arrive yet.

It reminds me of the non-struggling Jessa, when they were clearly keeping her pregnancy with Spurgeon quiet. She would simply say "no announcement yet!" Which was true, there had not yet been an announcement. And unless reading into it, one would simply think "no pregnancy yet". Word play and all, without actually lying.

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm dealing with some fertility issues (TTC 1 year 1 month, 1 loss) myself and watched my sister suffer through years of losses and treatments and just want to send you a big hug. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

4 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I have a friend who now if someone asks if and when she is going to have a baby, she goes into long very detailed description of her last period. When obviously they cut her off and tell her that they don't want to know that she says "Oh? You seemed very interested in what was going on in my uterus a few minutes ago." I don't think I could do it but it's one way to stop it. 

I love this! Might use it myself. 

I have a myriad of hormonal and other issues which might prevent natural conception, and we do not want to go the IVF route - we have nothing against it, but it is our personal choice to go as invasive as hormone injections and nothing more.  

People ask a lot, including close family members. I find it very annoying because it's nobody's business but mine, my husband's, and my doctor's, but so far, I have been saying that we are having a lot of fun trying, and if they need more details on the process, please ask away. People blush and it shuts them up, LOL. 

[Carm_88]

9 minutes ago, Shouldabeenacowboy said:

I love this! Might use it myself. 

I have a myriad of hormonal and other issues which might prevent natural conception, and we do not want to go the IVF route - we have nothing against it, but it is our personal choice to go as invasive as hormone injections and nothing more.  

People ask a lot, including close family members. I find it very annoying because it's nobody's business but mine, my husband's, and my doctor's, but so far, I have been saying that we are having a lot of fun trying, and if they need more details on the process, please ask away. People blush and it shuts them up, LOL. 

I hope that it helps you and that you have the greatest of luck in the future!  

[Mela99]

On 10/15/2016 at 6:19 PM, JessaBlessa said:

I thought a baby announcement was coming, too. Finally a surprise. But, no. It seems almost cruel to make an episode like that about Michael if she was having difficulties. 

This was really the episode? How much she loves babies and kids? Oh, poor woman ... if she's struggling and they put her through that... I would bitch slap them all for her. 

Fundie or not, no woman deserves to feel the pain of infertility. 

[zygote373]

Instagram comments section strikes again. It continues to seem like the long wait for a baby is not by choice...

 

[Carm_88]

52 minutes ago, zygote373 said:

Instagram comments section strikes again. It continues to seem like the long wait for a baby is not by choice...

 

It has to be so hard when people are constantly asking!