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SpoonfulOSugar

Nathan 3: "She loves me, she loves me not, she loves . . . "

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SpoonfulOSugar

Nathan is courting Ashley.

Or maybe he isn't.

But he might be.

Who knows for sure?

See the previous thread here:

 

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LittleSpouseOnThePrairie

I thought it was interesting in that bedroom scene when Nathan said to his parents that they were still going to be friends and try to talk to each other as often as they can. If I was in break up that was really finished, I probably wouldn't want to talk that often. Made me wonder...

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Waffle Time
Mela99
3 hours ago, LittleSpouseOnThePrairie said:

I thought it was interesting in that bedroom scene when Nathan said to his parents that they were still going to be friends and try to talk to each other as often as they can. If I was in break up that was really finished, I probably wouldn't want to talk that often. Made me wonder...

Maybe it's a form of therapy in the hopes that one of them will change their minds and their convictions. Just given her blog posts and Nathan's obvious desire to stay in rural Tennessee, I think it might be a power issue. He wants her to want what he wants. Maybe her parents will knock some sense in to her or being without Nathan will make her grit her teeth and give in... All speculation of course. 

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Glasgowghirl

They are both young and maybe they will work it out and be together. I hope none of them feel forced into marriage from their parents. 

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Purrl

They seemed to have a lot of chemistry so it can't be easy for her if the move is the reason for the breakup. I just hope, too, that she can be honest with herself, her family & Nathan about what she needs and wants for her future.

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sunshine
4 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Maybe it's a form of therapy in the hopes that one of them will change their minds and their convictions. Just given her blog posts and Nathan's obvious desire to stay in rural Tennessee, I think it might be a power issue. He wants her to want what he wants. Maybe her parents will knock some sense in to her or being without Nathan will make her grit her teeth and give in... All speculation of course. 

Blog? Do you have a link?

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OrchidBlossom
7 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Maybe it's a form of therapy in the hopes that one of them will change their minds and their convictions. Just given her blog posts and Nathan's obvious desire to stay in rural Tennessee, I think it might be a power issue. He wants her to want what he wants. Maybe her parents will knock some sense in to her or being without Nathan will make her grit her teeth and give in... All speculation of course. 

Do you mean her old blog? Or does she have a new one. If it's new I'd love a link too.

Either way, I doubt her parents will be knocking any sense into her. They're deep ATI/IBLP aren't they? If anything they might be hoping she will be "convicted" to marry some ATI royalty.

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Waffle Time
Mela99

I don't have a link, I've just read the excerpts here. Her old blog

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BeccaGrim
9 hours ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Do you mean her old blog? Or does she have a new one. If it's new I'd love a link too.

Either way, I doubt her parents will be knocking any sense into her. They're deep ATI/IBLP aren't they? If anything they might be hoping she will be "convicted" to marry some ATI royalty.

I thought the Bates were at this point royalty?  With the girls marrying the way that they did? 

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EmainMacha

The title of this thread makes me nostalgic. My dad used to always say this rhyme (jokingly!) 'She loves me, she loves me not. It doesn't matter. I'm what she's got'. It's how I often view fundie marriages.

 

(My dad, on the other hand, was aware he was damn lucky to have my mum in his life.)

 

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OrchidBlossom
5 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

I thought the Bates were at this point royalty?  With the girls marrying the way that they did? 

Yeah that's what I mean, her parents maybe aren't likely to knock any sense into her if "sense" is not marrying a Bates.

5 hours ago, Mela99 said:

I don't have a link, I've just read the excerpts here. Her old blog

Oh, okay. Her old blog is sad. I wish I could remember the url. She clearly loved the city but I wonder if that could ever win out over her brainwashing to be a submissive helpmeet and go wherever she is told.

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BirthingGodsWarriors
39 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Yeah that's what I mean, her parents maybe aren't likely to knock any sense into her if "sense" is not marrying a Bates.

Oh, okay. Her old blog is sad. I wish I could remember the url. She clearly loved the city but I wonder if that could ever win out over her brainwashing to be a submissive helpmeet and go wherever she is told.

This one?

feminineatheart.blogspot.com/

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LawsonBatesEgo

That blog makes me want to rescue her, one Latina lady to another. She seems kinda smart, cool and sassy underneath this awful indoctrination. 

--A Colombiana(-German) who hates cooking and has a boyfriend who doesn't care. 

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princessmahina

A failed courtship might be good for Nathan. It certainly seems like it was for Zach, even if Kelly didn't approve. He and Whitney seem much happier than he did with Sarah. That was just an awkward mess. 

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Bye Bye Birdie

I had a mad crush on Zach growing up (ie. *out loud* ''I am praying for my future husband'' *meaning* "and I sure hope it's Zach Bates') :P He was always a really nice, good christian boy, who loved his family (everything I wanted back then, when I had no brain of my own).. I don't think he changed that much going from Sarah to Whitney, he just grew up and matured more- think about your first boyfriend and how awkward things might have been if it was touted on your family's blog and it was proclaimed all throughout your community.

This was the case with Zach and Sarah- everybody was just so excited (except for Sarah) it was like a royal wedding was approaching or something! And I think Zach really really liked her, but was disappointed when she wasn't all that into him and the courtship didn't turn out as he was promised his whole life. So he just gone and got a new girl who would be a submissive little baby machine while lookin pretty in her skirts. Or one that had potential to be manipulated into it all. 

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OrchidBlossom
9 hours ago, Bye Bye Birdie said:

I had a mad crush on Zach growing up (ie. *out loud* ''I am praying for my future husband'' *meaning* "and I sure hope it's Zach Bates') :P He was always a really nice, good christian boy, who loved his family (everything I wanted back then, when I had no brain of my own).. I don't think he changed that much going from Sarah to Whitney, he just grew up and matured more- think about your first boyfriend and how awkward things might have been if it was touted on your family's blog and it was proclaimed all throughout your community.

This was the case with Zach and Sarah- everybody was just so excited (except for Sarah) it was like a royal wedding was approaching or something! And I think Zach really really liked her, but was disappointed when she wasn't all that into him and the courtship didn't turn out as he was promised his whole life. So he just gone and got a new girl who would be a submissive little baby machine while lookin pretty in her skirts. Or one that had potential to be manipulated into it all. 

Did you know him personally, or were you just aware of him? I have a friend who grew up very southern Baptist, but had extended family members who somehow ended up more IFB (I think very loosely) associated with ATI/IBLP and apparently her cousin also had a crush on Zach growing up, or so my friend told me once (when the subject of my fundie fascination came up). But her cousin was *much* younger than him so I think it was a bit of a pipe dream.

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Bye Bye Birdie
8 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Did you know him personally, or were you just aware of him? I have a friend who grew up very southern Baptist, but had extended family members who somehow ended up more IFB (I think very loosely) associated with ATI/IBLP and apparently her cousin also had a crush on Zach growing up, or so my friend told me once (when the subject of my fundie fascination came up). But her cousin was *much* younger than him so I think it was a bit of a pipe dream.

I knew him personally. He's only a bit older than me, but he was just the fundie dream you know :D Plus, my family were basically their leghumping patient zero, so not only would we hang out with them as much as we could, but I honestly think it was my mom's wet dream that I end up with one of the Bates boys- so out of the three, Nathan was younger, Lawson was unbearable and Zach was perfect! :D:D Just like Goldilocks! 

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OrchidBlossom
Just now, Bye Bye Birdie said:

I knew him personally. He's only a bit older than me, but he was just the fundie dream you know :D Plus, my family were basically their leghumping patient zero, so not only would we hang out with them as much as we could, but I honestly think it was my mom's wet dream that I end up with one of the Bates boys- so out of the three, Nathan was younger, Lawson was unbearable and Zach was perfect! :D:D Just like Goldilocks! 

Lol well... sorry that didn't work out for ya! Lawson's sort of cute when he keeps his mouth shut (so he's pretty much never cute) but Zach never did anything for me. Then again, I was not trained up in IBLP so what do I know?

It was definitely interesting, I grew up in the northeast and then moved down to the south. As a kid I knew some people I would describe as fundie, but they were VERY rare (or possibly just quieter about it). When I got down south I felt like I couldn't turn around without meeting someone who was fundie, grew up fundie, or had family members that were fundie. That is definitely where my interest started, because all of a sudden I had friends who were shocked and offended when I started dancing randomly.

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Meh
backyard sylph
17 minutes ago, Bye Bye Birdie said:

...leghumping patient zero...

:pb_lol:

Sorry, though.

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Bye Bye Birdie
14 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Lol well... sorry that didn't work out for ya! Lawson's sort of cute when he keeps his mouth shut (so he's pretty much never cute) but Zach never did anything for me. Then again, I was not trained up in IBLP so what do I know?

It was definitely interesting, I grew up in the northeast and then moved down to the south. As a kid I knew some people I would describe as fundie, but they were VERY rare (or possibly just quieter about it). When I got down south I felt like I couldn't turn around without meeting someone who was fundie, grew up fundie, or had family members that were fundie. That is definitely where my interest started, because all of a sudden I had friends who were shocked and offended when I started dancing randomly.

Haha! I count my lucky stars he never showed any interest in me! 

 

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SpoonfulOSugar
4 hours ago, Bye Bye Birdie said:

Haha! I count my lucky stars he never showed any interest in me! 

 

Okay, so, dish:

Did you guys worship with the Bateseseseses?

What would you say is your belief system now?

You lived near them - do you still?  Would you say you are an escapee?  How did it happen that you've gone from "their" world to being here on FJ?  What's your life like now?

(And anything else you'd feel comfortable sharing . . . )

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samurai_sarah
1 hour ago, Bye Bye Birdie said:

(snip)

 I feel like FJ is my way of healing and dealing with the issues from the past- so that's why I'm here. I will snark and criticize but I will also love on them , because they're my friends, for the lack of a better word (not G&K, just the kids, G&K can go to hell for all I care, with what they did to their kids!) 

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad to hear that you're doing well out of fundiedom.

*mod hat on*

To the bolded:

Just a friendly reminder that FJ is not and cannot function as a self-help group. I'm sure you are already aware of that, but sometimes it bears repeating.

*mod hat off*

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