Sister Wives: 4 Wives, 4 Threads - It's Karma!

[JoyfulSel]

On 12/13/2016 at 9:41 AM, Carm_88 said:

I think the chaste courtship talk may be because Tony is LDS. So he may have wanted a chaste courtship. I don't think it's singling them out, as much as it was their choice.

I thought about that, but remember when Mykelti had that other boyfriend a couple seasons ago and Kody gave his speech on hormones going through the mouth or some other nonsense? I don't remember if that young man was LDS but Kodouche went on in a TH about purity and being chaste blah blah blah. It always seems to have been targeted towards Mykelti for whatever reason. I know he passively mentioned how he "wished" all his kids would be virgins until marriage but never seemed to really drill that into Logan's head, or Maddie's either I guess. It'll be interesting as more of the young adults start dating, and how Kody will react to that.

[MarblesMom]

I noticed there is a 20 minute preview of next week's episode on at 830 - 950 central time tonight.  Just a PSA.

Dial M for Murder is on TCM, so I will have to forgo the Kody-fest.

[Natalie22]

Well, after the first few episodes this season, I feel the need to pull up my armchair and put on my psychologist's hat.

1)  Mykelti:

I have to say I can completely understand the different reaction to Mykelti wanting to get married compared to Maddie.  Maddie definitely comes off as more secure and less flighty and you feel as though you can trust that she's thought through her decision.  Mykelti on the other hand has always come off as more reactive to things and seems to be one of those people who always has a new dream every couple months and never sticks to anything.  When she was moving to St. George it seemed that she needed to take some time to really figure herself out.  I've had friends in the past who never got to know themselves (she always had the next two boyfriends lined up when she started dating a guy).  I can completely understand why her parents are concerned.  I don't see why it matters that her parents aren't necessarily the best people; they obviously want the best for her and I can't knock them for being concerned.  Most of them married young and they seem to feel that it would have been better to have matured a bit before getting married.  

When it comes to the wedding, it seems incredibly insensitive of Mykelti to want to get married in about 3 or 4 months from getting engaged when the rest of the family has been planning on using half of that time to help Maddie.  It just highlights her lack of planning and thinking things through.  Someone who is mature would realize the strain on her family, not to mention trying to get all of her family members to take time off and travel to her wedding since it seems as though she wants to get married in St. George.  She also didn't seem to realize that if she wanted to get married in August that bad she could have paid for it herself and had a small wedding that was just the basics.  She had that choice, but what she really wants is her parents to also have to pay for her to have a 400 person wedding.  I think since the Browns come from a more traditional background where the bride's family pays I can understand why they feel like they should pay for their children's weddings.  While I think that the parents should have just flat out refused to pay for her honeymoon, I think it is incredibly selfish of her to take that money when it could go to other things for the family.  

Some people have said that this is what the parents deserve and of course Mykelti acts like this because it's the only way to get attention.  It seems that Logan, Maddie, Aspyn, and Mariah seem to be completely able to act their ages.  If 4/5 kids seem to be fairly well-adjusted, I don't think you can complain about their parenting skills too much.  All kids have had the opportunity to go to college, pick their religious faith, and make their own boundaries in romantic relationships.  

2)  Meri (and Mariah)

I think I feel pretty charitable towards everyone one in this situation.  I get why people dislike Meri so much, but I can definitely understand why she's acting the way she is.  I think her and Mariah's relationship was way too close before Mariah left for college and when she left, Meri just felt completely lost.  Obviously not healthy, but I've seen people's parents do this who aren't polygamists.  Meri seemed to flounder and have trouble finding a purpose.  Her relationships with her sister wives were mixed and she didn't have any natural reason to go and hang out like the rest of them since their younger kids would be at each other's houses to play with their siblings constantly.  On top of this, when Meri wants to go back to school, Robyn, who has usually been her closest ally, guilt-trips her into not taking classes.  Then Kody, who has been encouraging Meri to say yes to Robyn's offer of surrogacy, changes his mind after Meri finally feels ready.  On top of which he starts to pressure Robyn to have another baby with him, which must have been very hard for Meri to handle.  I also image that Kody handled Meri's new empty nester status like he treated Christine on their marriage retreat where he refused to acknowledge the importance of the smaller family unit and just pushed the big family.  I think Kody has trouble seeing the perspective of others there where they don't have the same relationships with everyone in the family like he does.  I don't think Meri felt like she belonged or was wanted anymore (partly through her own actions and partly from others).   

So then Meri retreats to the internet and starts chatting with someone.  People are typically flattered to be flirted with, especially when they're in a bad relationship.  Meri seemed desperate to feel wanted, and this catfish did just that.  And then she let herself have an emotional affair that would have turned into an actual one had this person been real.  And that's when Mariah comes home and their unhealthy relationship continues where Meri wants her to be more of a confidante than a child (obviously not cool).  But she doesn't react the way Meri wants her to and tells her she thinks that the only person Meri feels is giving her any positive attention is not real.  And obviously Meri felt like she need that relationship so badly she couldn't accept that and instead ignored her daughter.  Mariah understandably would be frustrated, and probably even more frustrated that her dad doesn't seem to notice or potentially care that this is going on which probably caused Mariah to become further disillusioned with her childhood faith.

I think that Meri's actions after finding out this person was fake make sense, even if they aren't the most responsible choice.  Of course she doesn't want to admit that she had an emotional affair when it turns out someone was just screwing with her.  It would be much easier for anyone to justify it to themselves and tell theirself that it never really got that far and she never really had feelings.  It sounded like she had admitted off-camera that it was an emotional affair and I think that's a reasonable choice not to want to admit to the entire world she cheated on her husband with someone who never existed.

I understand why Mariah is so upset with her parents and why she doesn't want to talk to Meri, but I can understand why Meri doesn't want to admit what she's done to Mariah.  Meri seems to be very protective of her pride, and I can imagine nothing more painful and humiliating than to admit to your daughter that you cheated emotionally on her father and that she ignored obvious signs that Mariah pointed out.  It's not the right choice, but from the perspective of human nature, a pretty human choice.  Meri wanting Mariah to be over what she's done is most likely because it's incredibly painful for Meri to continuously have to relive in every discussion with Mariah.  I can also understand Mariah continuing to be upset, but I also understand Meri's perspective when Mariah is planning on coming home for the summer.  It's one thing for Mariah to be mad, but she is an adult and could choose not to live at her mom's place is she is this upset.  Meri is probably frustrated that Mariah feels she should be able to be angry and disagreeable and just unpleasant to live with, but that Meri should still take care of Mariah's dog and pay for all of Mariah's bills and house and feed her.  I can understand why both of them is upset with the other in this scenario.  

To end my rant, I don't think they're making the best choices, but I think people are having unrealistic expectations of everyone in this situation.  People have pride, people want to be the hero in their own narrative, and it can be hard to overcome all these things. I don't like or agree with some of their choices, but I don't think they're the worst people in the world.  They're definitely flawed, but at least seem to try to have good intentions.

*Hands psychology hat back to someone who actually has studied this*

[SHERA]

11 hours ago, Natalie22 said:

2)  Meri (and Mariah)

I think I feel pretty charitable towards everyone one in this situation.  I get why people dislike Meri so much, but I can definitely understand why she's acting the way she is.  I think her and Mariah's relationship was way too close before Mariah left for college and when she left, Meri just felt completely lost.  Obviously not healthy, but I've seen people's parents do this who aren't polygamists.  Meri seemed to flounder and have trouble finding a purpose.  Her relationships with her sister wives were mixed and she didn't have any natural reason to go and hang out like the rest of them since their younger kids would be at each other's houses to play with their siblings constantly.  On top of this, when Meri wants to go back to school, Robyn, who has usually been her closest ally, guilt-trips her into not taking classes.  Then Kody, who has been encouraging Meri to say yes to Robyn's offer of surrogacy, changes his mind after Meri finally feels ready.  On top of which he starts to pressure Robyn to have another baby with him, which must have been very hard for Meri to handle.  I also image that Kody handled Meri's new empty nester status like he treated Christine on their marriage retreat where he refused to acknowledge the importance of the smaller family unit and just pushed the big family.  I think Kody has trouble seeing the perspective of others there where they don't have the same relationships with everyone in the family like he does.  I don't think Meri felt like she belonged or was wanted anymore (partly through her own actions and partly from others).   

Definitely, Kodi only sees the big family and not the 4 families as part of a whole. 

[Carm_88]

20 hours ago, SHERA said:

Definitely, Kodi only sees the big family and not the 4 families as part of a whole. 

That's because it's the way it is in Kody World and Kody's perspective is all that matters to Kody. He reminds me of a rhyme that we used to sing as kids, when people would get too high on their own horse. "I think I'm great, I think I'm grand and when I sleep, I hold my hand." Kody is so into himself he probably wraps his arms around himself when he's sleeping.

[season of life]

I agree about Mykelti wanting her parents to foot the bill. She could at least understand the difficulty behind wedding planning. She's still getting married, it will just be a bit later.

[Bethella]

Mykelti's wedding is today. How long until we get pictures? I'm guessing this evening.

[Bethella]

Well, they're married. Here's the article. http://people.com/tv/sister-wives-stars-kody-and-christines-daughter-mykelti-brown-is-married/

[IreneIssh]

24 minutes ago, Bethella said:

Well, they're married. Here's the article. http://people.com/tv/sister-wives-stars-kody-and-christines-daughter-mykelti-brown-is-married/

Well, it looks like Mykelti didn't get a beach honeymoon after all. Their honeymoon is apparently going to be Seattle. She looks lovely there, though. 

[Chicken bones]

400 guests? At a country club? And how many cakes? She didn't go cheap.

[DaniLouisiana]

What is this "he makes me feel safe"? What is going on there, we wonders?

[SweetLaurel]

52 minutes ago, DaniLouisiana said:

What is this "he makes me feel safe"? What is going on there, we wonders?

I figure when a kid, especially girls,  come out of those monstrous families, they will often marry early, or find someone just to get the one on one attention they never got, literally couldn't get.  Imagine how gratifying it must be to be the object of someone's sole attention after being just one of many arrows filling a quiver.   I can see the 'safe' thing.  "I will be there for you, pay attention to you, you are important to me."  Very heady stuff, I can imagine.    Hope it works out for her.   She did look lovely.  

[SilverBeach]

@Natalie22, I don't want to quote your post because it was so long and I must manually snip on my phone. Too early for that.

I disagree about perceived maturity differences being a justification for treating Mykelti and Maddie differently. Both Robin and Janelle were divorced when they married Kdouche. If Mykelti fucks up, she can divorce. She is grown and it is her life to live, not to be micromanaged by people who can barely live their own lives without constant drama and a family therapist on speed dial.

They chose to have eleventy children so close in age. What are the offspring supposed to do, have blackout periods for when they fall in love and want to get married? Kody should have thought about this when he was impregnating everybody at the same time. 

Meri was a damn fool and Mariah lost respect for her since she told Meri she was being a damn fool. Leave Mariah alone. Actions have consequences and Meri didn't think about the possible impact on her only daughter. She was too busy entertaining the possibility of finally getting out of the Brown house to think about any of the other members of her mega family.

Trainwreck.

 

On 12/16/2016 at 7:49 PM, season of life said:

I agree about Mykelti wanting her parents to foot the bill. She could at least understand the difficulty behind wedding planning. She's still getting married, it will just be a bit later.

And the parents wanted her to wait, quid pro quo. I don't see why Mykelti is being faulted for negotiating, as Kody put it. He got what he wanted, a December wedding, she got what she wanted too. That's a successful negotiation.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Thank you for the kind words, @GreyhoundFan.

[DaniLouisiana]

Someone up thread said something about Truly saying "gross" about Mykelti and Tony that literally just hit me like a ton of bricks. The family should really truly listen to the child. We didn't listen to GrandGirl, who was always refusing to have anything to do with Donkeybutt, even when he was just Daddy's (Bigfoot) bestie. When he married DD, she went into overdrive with her dislike/disapproval of him. He turned out to be a martial rapist, physically and enotionally abusive and threatened to kill DD and GrandBoy. We. Should. Have. Listened. To. GrandGirl!

She likes Fuzzy very much as does her sister, Wild Child (who is like Mikey-she hates everybody, at first).

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Is anybody else watching the wedding episode with me?  I'm really enjoying it, for the most part.

I'll save any snark for later.  But this one thing is a puzzler to me:

If Kody is SO convinced that his polygamous religion is The One True Way, then why is he still dabbling in other faiths like Orthodox Judaism?  (See his comment to giving Logan a bar mitzvah)  

Can't tell if he's confuzzled or is covering as many bases as possible and is hedging his bet.

[MarblesMom]

@ChickenettiLuvr I am watching it.  And cringing.  His pick and choose method of religion is kind of offensive/crazy.

He had a Bar Mitzvah for Logan, that was odd enough.

Then, the knighting and king/queen thing was even odder, to me.

And I cringed when asked "who gives the bride", he said something to the effect of "me, the father, Kody Brown."  Nice way to make sure Mom stays in her place - after all, she is JUST a woman.  Would have been nice to say "her mother and I do."

 

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Yup.  That one rubbed me wrong, as well.    Janelle SHOULD have been mentioned in, "Her mother and I."

[TheWayTheWorldWorks]

At the very least both parents should be mentioned.  

Really though, the answer should be "Ummm, the couple gives themselves to each other.   [Insert crickets here]. Hence, the ceremony...  Right..?"

[2manyKidzzz]

I thought Kody did a strange job with the ceremony. Madison looked really beautiful and it seems clear that she and Caleb really love each other. Polygamy just creeps me out. But the kids are cute. I wonder what Mariah's big secret is, I guess maybe a guy.

[Bethella]

So the timing of Maddy's wedding episode is convincing me that TLC is deliberately using one wedding in order to boost ratings for the sibling's wedding special. Mykelti got married yesterday and now Maddy's wedding special is today. It's the same thing they did will the Duggars- Jill's wedding special aired on Tuesday, October 28 and Jessa got married the following Saturday, November 1. 

[ChickenettiLuvr]

Omg. Was just googling the Gallatin River Hideaway. 

Caleb and Mady's grotesque elk cake is pictured on the website! 

Wha????

[IreneIssh]

1 hour ago, MarblesMom said:

@ChickenettiLuvr I am watching it.  And cringing.  His pick and choose method of religion is kind of offensive/crazy.

He had a Bar Mitzvah for Logan, that was odd enough.

Then, the knighting and king/queen thing was even odder, to me.

And I cringed when asked "who gives the bride", he said something to the effect of "me, the father, Kody Brown."  Nice way to make sure Mom stays in her place - after all, she is JUST a woman.  Would have been nice to say "her mother and I do."

 

Seriously. Even Jim Bob Duggar said "Her mother and I do" at all his daughters weddings. That's saying something. 

[ViolaSebastian]

Who in the heck thought an outdoor ceremony in Utah in December was a good idea?

[MarblesMom]

@ViolaSebastian pretty sure this wedding was in June.  People were fanning themselves at the ceremony.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/sister-wives-star-maddie-brown-marries-caleb-brush-w208801