Lori Alexander Pt. 9: Writing The World's Worst Book

[louisa05]

On 6/30/2016 at 8:27 PM, Phoebe said:

Fiance of Awesome is the same way...when he was single, he subsisted on -- no joke -- Hot Pockets, Little Caesar's pizza, and Cherry Pepsi.

 

I refuse to have either Hot Pockets or Little Caesar's in our house.  And FoA hates to cook.  So I cook. I like to cook, and FoA falls all over himself thanking me for taking the time to take care of him.  He, on the other hand, takes care of the lawn and trash, which I absolutely despise.  I fall all over myself thanking him for taking care of me, and so it goes. It's like there's mutual respect there or something... 

 

And regarding the new publicity Lori is getting...I wonder if US magazine would be interested in some of Ken Alexander's postings about how molestation is okay and incest happens all the time in families, so no biggie...

Are you and fiance of awesome actually me and husband?   Mr05 ate frozen pizza, fried eggs, steaks on the grill (by themselves, no side dishes), and Hungry Man dinners prior to my cooking for him. He also had a sick stomach about 75% of the time. I do all the cooking now and we have frozen pizza maybe twice a year and never have any other kind of frozen entree. He does still fry himself eggs once in awhile. And when he grills the steaks, I make salad and veggies to eat with it. 

He does not cook at all other than grilling meat now and then and the occasional eggs. He, too, falls all over himself thanking me for the good food daily.  I also do all the laundry. He does all the cleaning outside the kitchen (I have not cleaned a toilet in 9 years) and does the lawn care. And I fall all over myself thanking him for all of that. 

No nagging and no arguing and no manipulative tricks. He does his jobs and I do mine. 

[Koala]

I wonder if Ken expected her to work once the kids were grown.  That would explain a lot about her "ministry".  She can't exactly poke a hole in her diaphragm anymore, so now she works as a mouthpiece for Jesus.  Look it up- it's a real thing! She couldn't possibly work AND mentor the interwebz all day.  And the delete key!  Who would take care of it all day if she wasn't at home??  

[Chocolatedefrauded]

A man in my family used to eat unheated cans of Spaghetti Os & other canned food, standing over the sink, before marriage. He thought butter sandwiches on Wonder bread was as good as it got. I get queasy thinking about his diet.

[louisa05]

14 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

A man in my family used to eat unheated cans of Spaghetti Os & other canned food, standing over the sink, before marriage. He thought butter sandwiches on Wonder bread was as good as it got. I get queasy thinking about his diet.

Mr05 used to have canned herring for dinner. Open the can and get a fork. Yuck. 

I blame his mother. She did not bother to teach either of her kids to cook. Not a gender thing. She didn't teach his sister, either. The problem with his sister, though, is that she thinks she can cook and we have to suffer through her ineptitude. 

[treehugger]

See, my husband could cook better than I could when we got married. So, for the longest time, when we both worked, he would cook, and I would clean.  I was much tidier and cleaner.  He was a better cook.  After we had kids, I stayed home with them, and he got a job that was a 3 weeks gone, 1 week back gig for the next couple years.  So, I learned to cook out of sheer necessity.  Now, he is working much closer to home - so he's back every night, but he still works long days.  However, on his days off, he cooks.  I like it, it gives me a break, and he enjoys it, so it doesn't feel like work to him.  

[Phoebe]

45 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

A man in my family used to eat unheated cans of Spaghetti Os & other canned food, standing over the sink, before marriage. He thought butter sandwiches on Wonder bread was as good as it got. I get queasy thinking about his diet.

Fiance of Awesome raved about my grilled cheese sandwiches.  Grilled. Cheese. Sandwiches.  I've been making those from around age 7 or so.

As it turns out, FoA's idea of a grilled cheese sandwich was to microwave two slices of bread with a slice of cheese in the middle. 

50 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

A man in my family used to eat unheated cans of Spaghetti Os & other canned food, standing over the sink, before marriage. He thought butter sandwiches on Wonder bread was as good as it got. I get queasy thinking about his diet.

FoA did Hot Pockets and Little Caesar's because neither required dishes nor silverware.

[louisa05]

7 minutes ago, Phoebe said:

Fiance of Awesome raved about my grilled cheese sandwiches.  Grilled. Cheese. Sandwiches.  I've been making those from around age 7 or so.

As it turns out, FoA's idea of a grilled cheese sandwich was to microwave two slices of bread with a slice of cheese in the middle. 

FoA did Hot Pockets and Little Caesar's because neither required dishes nor silverware.

Husband raves about everything I feed him. His mother never washed the dirt off the carrots so he was shocked to learn he likes carrots and they don't "taste like dirt". She puts no spices in sloppy joes (just tomato sauce) or meat loaf (bread crumbs and ground beef with instant mashed potatoes made with no milk or butter on top) (I've had to eat both at her house--absolutely awful), so he was surprised he likes both now. 

[polecat]

11 hours ago, Phoebe said:

As it turns out, FoA's idea of a grilled cheese sandwich was to microwave two slices of bread with a slice of cheese in the middle. 

 

I laughed out loud at this. My FIL, a dear, dear man, spent a good half hour telling me his new way of making grilled cheese sandwiches. He puts the bread in the toaster, and then he puts cheese between the slices, and then he microwaves the whole thing to melt the cheese, and voila! Grilled cheese. This is why we invite him over frequently for meals. We usually send him home with mounds of leftovers. 

This is also why I started teaching my kids to cook almost as soon as they could hold a spoon. None of them are chefs yet, but they can all at least whip up a few decent meals on their own. They will never be stuck living on bologna sandwiches or faux grilled cheese as long as they have a kitchen available. 

[feministxtian]

All 3 of my kids are good cooks. I involved them in cooking from the time they were little. My oldest doesn't particularly like to cook but she can whip up meals. Middle child is usually pretty busy so he tends to grab a lot of take out. Youngest LOVES to cook. 

However, they ALL claim that they prefer certain of mom's dishes as when they make the same dish it doesn't taste the same...

[Emilycharlotte]

That's because Mom puts in the looooooove. 

(At least that's what I hear when able-bodied adults want me to make their sandwiches.)

[desertvixen]

It's true though.  I'm not a shabby cook, but there is one thing that my mom makes that I just cannot get right. And it's pretty pathetic because it is poor man's stew.

[feministxtian]

10 minutes ago, desertvixen said:

It's true though.  I'm not a shabby cook, but there is one thing that my mom makes that I just cannot get right. And it's pretty pathetic because it is poor man's stew.

It's not that you can't get it right...it just doesn't taste like mom's. 

[Koala]

Dave & Lori chatting it up about sex.... *gag*

Quote

Should we be disinterested when Christ tugs on us to spend time with him? Should we go beyond just answering His call? Should we initiate the call? Do we really understand the blessing of His call, the call to know Him, to glorify Him? 

Paul says that for the church to learn to do that, the marriage must first model it. 

The wife should want to glorify her husband by answering his call. The wife should want to glorify her husband by, at times, initiating the call. The wife should really receive the blessings of the call. 

He calls us to glorify Him and glorifying God here on earth starts with the marriage, and that marriage starts with the bed. Yes, in the bed – ‘they were naked and NOT ashamed’ --- just before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. If you are not crazy [ravished in Song of Solomon = out of control; forgetting all else around you] about your husband and his body and how it works, and you are not crazy about showing him your body and how it works then you have just put the biggest roadblock you could possibly find in your life to be a godly influence on husband, kids, church, community …and YOUR growth in Christ. Let alone being disobedient to Christ and effectively saying ‘God I don’t desire that part of You.’ 

Forget the wrinkles, the makeup, the gray hair, the sags, the weight, age; boil that thought of yours down: you are simply thinking of self. Think of him. And think of Him. Let the dishes stack up. Let the kids hear the rumbling. Just let everyone know Dad and Mom are increasing their time with the Lord. Think of Martha who told Christ she was too busy for Him; she refused Him even after His call. Mary demonstrated her desire for Him, initiating the call. Are you Martha or Mary? 

If every woman that professed to desire Jesus would commit to herself [and her girlfriends] to say ‘yes’ and to take her husband to bed regularly for “X” weeks it would do more good for reviving the church them any Billy Graham crusade tour, or church prayer vigil, or missionary outreach. You think I’m kidding. Sacrifice [Martha] is good but obedience [Mary] is better. Much better. Forget the church meeting. Drop the kids off at a friend’s house [and reciprocate for her] and take your husband home. Quit sacrificing. Be obedient. Now. 

And remind my wife! 

I’m sorry for frequently butting in but you have interesting and important topics

How is this modest or even remotely appropriate?  

Of course, Lori wastes no time wading right into the filth with Dave:

Quote

Have you reminded her, Dave? For some reason, many wives don't want to listen to their husband's counsel. They would rather get it from the world or their girlfriends. A lovely comment, by the way.

I thought Lori didn't teach men...

[polecat]

44 minutes ago, Koala said:

Let the kids hear the rumbling. Just let everyone know Dad and Mom are increasing their time with the Lord.

Well.

This is Ken and Lori, who tell people to have sex while camping next to their kids, right? 

Who say incest is normal? 

Okay then. Just checking.

Carry on.

[formergothardite]

I'm just a prude because I really, really don't want the kids and the world to know about my sex life. 

[slickcat79]

Lori's journal entry is still making the rounds. One of my FB friends posted it yesterday, along with the "corrected" version, and I was able to introduce her to Lori's blog. She loves a good hate-read 

[Loveday]

I wonder how long Lori's going to use some variation of 'since my post went viral' to start new posts? Friday, it was ' Another magazine has picked up my viral post.'  Yesterday it was 'The article in the US Weekly claimed that I said this...'  Today it's 'There have been many negative comments on my Always Learning Facebook page since my post went viral.' 

She's so proud of her little old self. 

[wikinggirl]

2 hours ago, Loveday said:

I wonder how long Lori's going to use some variation of 'since my post went viral' to start new posts? Friday, it was ' Another magazine has picked up my viral post.'  Yesterday it was 'The article in the US Weekly claimed that I said this...'  Today it's 'There have been many negative comments on my Always Learning Facebook page since my post went viral.' 

She's so proud of her little old self. 

You know she loooooves all this attention.

[Florita]

5 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

You know she loooooves all this attention.

I notice her fb likes are over 12,000. I think she was around 3,000 before "the viral post." But she's still nowhere near the number of likes Ann Voskamp has. Or even Sheila Gregoire.

[teachergirl]

Could it be people like her page so they can get her updates and then hate on them?That's why there are 12,000 RIGHT??? I don't want to live in a world where 12,000 people like Lori Alexander.

[Loveday]

2 hours ago, teachergirl said:

Could it be people like her page so they can get her updates and then hate on them?That's why there are 12,000 RIGHT??? I don't want to live in a world where 12,000 people like Lori Alexander.

That has to be it. I think even a lot of the original 3,000 from before the viral post only liked her page to follow the crazy. I'd like her page myself except for the fact I don't want anyone on my friends' list to think I even remotely agree with her!

[Hisey]

10 hours ago, Loveday said:

I wonder how long Lori's going to use some variation of 'since my post went viral' to start new posts? Friday, it was ' Another magazine has picked up my viral post.'  Yesterday it was 'The article in the US Weekly claimed that I said this...'  Today it's 'There have been many negative comments on my Always Learning Facebook page since my post went viral.' 

She's so proud of her little old self. 

No, she doesn't! She doesn't even notice the haters or let them bother her in any way! 

But she wants to just refute what they said one more time. . . Even though she doesn't really care, you know.

Before it gets deleted from Lori's facebook, here is a lady calling out Ken's suggestion that sex only takes ten minutes:

 

Quote

Ken Alexander Hi Logan, I will point out that the authority over a spouse's body when it comes to sexual relations belongs to the other spouse. Read it right there in the verse of 1 Cor 7:4. Furthermore, the next verses says, "Do not deprive one another, except by mutual consent for a limited time" 7:5) I don't know how much plainer this can be. If mutual consent is not granted, then the spouse who lacks the desire is to recognize their commitment to the relationship and help fulfill their spouses needs. 

So a husband as head and leader does have the responsibility to lead the marriage, and in your hypothetical situation where he says "no" his wife, he is responsible to be true to God's Word and accept that she has authority over his body for sex, and he is not to deprive her.

Neither husband or wife should be saying "no" based on what the Word of God teaches, BUT that is not to say that a wife or husband cannot plead their reasonable case for why the requesting spouse should be willing to wait to another time. We never say "no" to our boss, but we often try to reason with them and if they are a reasonable boss they mostly listen to us and accept our excuses for the delay in getting the work done, but will not accept I just don't feel like it, or I am not going to do it. Both spouses are the boss over the other body. I did not say that, God did. 

You write: "The only way to have a healthy sexual relationship in marriage is to focus on mutual enjoyment and mutual consent." 

So what better way to have mutual consent than to make it a blanket mutual consent by both sides just as the Bible teaches? Is mutual enjoyment a necessary part of a marriages healthy sexual relations? I doubt it. It is probably more common than not that one spouse wants a greater frequency and gains greater pleasure from the experience. When you place the artificial rule of "mutual enjoyment and mutual consent" you rob the spouse who enjoys sex more of the extra times of intimacy. If sex took all day maybe you have an argument, but if a spouse can take ten minutes to do other things for their spouse, why not ten minutes to fulfill their martial responsibility in this important area?

From the example of your relationship it does not sound like you "deny" each other often, but instead one makes the request and the other knows they may accept or reject the request which is conditioned upon their mutual desire. If you have decided that this is healthy for your marriage, it may well be, but you are far from "denying" sex. To are simply checking in to see if your spouse is in the mood.

Denying sex is a repeated pattern of saying no, finding excuses and outright refusals. It's not, an occasional request, "Hey honey how about tomorrow instead . Your idea is absurd that somehow "The power to say no ensures that the experience will be a mutually loving experience rather than a drudgery or even possibly an abusive one. " So somehow your control in saying "no" makes the sexual experience mutually loving instead of a drudgery is precisely contrary to the servant's heart of Jesus, and the desire to please one's spouse. You don't want your spouse to control you into having sex, so you will instead use control to determine when you think it is best for sex without considering his or her desires? The position is so against everything the scriptures teach about putting others first, and your own needs and desires second. It's the world's way, not God's ways.

Lastly, any wife can say "no" when it comes to a request from her spouse for sex. There is not issue of abuse here. But when she/he does, it is not in keeping with what these verses in God's Word teach. Have you ever tried going two months where neither of you say "no" to each other to discover how the sexual experience and overall relationship blossoms, realizing that you are both putting the one you say you love the most in this whole word first? Try it God's way and then tell me if it does not unlock the deepest intimacy you have ever had with your spouse. No more protecting selfish me and my timing, but instead seeking to please and pleasure my spouse to show them how much I love and care about them. 

Your idea that "consistent refusal would require a long period of time at least 6 months" is so outside the intent of the verses you are given and anything that a reasonable spouse would accept. Not depriving is maybe 2-3 times a week instead of every day, like many men want, and this has nothing to do with how much a man can control himself ... nothing.

 

4 hrs

Patti Ferrara I am sure you will delete my reply, but I am going to just put this out here because this needs to be brought into the discussion. Ten minutes? TEN minutes? Dear men of God, if you are wondering why your wives are not responding to your request for sex, I as a woman of God am going to offer this thought. Many women need more than ten minutes of sex in order to climax. Yes, I am going there. Learn what pleases her and do it! If all of your sexual activity is concentrated on the man's pleasure, your wives will feel that their sexual satisfaction is not a priority. If you take the time to learn how to please her and then make your sexy time something she will look forward to, because she knows you will do what you make it enjoyable for her as well as for you, she will love to be making love.

 

[TeddyBonkers]

Patti, whoever you are, I tip my hat to you. I'd "like" your comment, but I got banned from Lori's sandbox. (Insert your own joke about 10 minute sex here).

[Koala]

Lori:

Quote

Yes, I received many more "likes" than anything else. The problem is those who find it disgusting spend their time bashing others, it seems. It is Jesus who they are fighting, not me.

See?  Everyone likes Lori!  It's Jesus they can't stand.

Quote

I only teach women. 

Except when she teaches men in the comments.  

[lilwriter85]

5 hours ago, teachergirl said:

Could it be people like her page so they can get her updates and then hate on them?That's why there are 12,000 RIGHT??? I don't want to live in a world where 12,000 people like Lori Alexander.

 

3 hours ago, Loveday said:

That has to be it. I think even a lot of the original 3,000 from before the viral post only liked her page to follow the crazy. I'd like her page myself except for the fact I don't want anyone on my friends' list to think I even remotely agree with her!

I also think many people who like Lori's FB blog page only do it to follow the crazy and hate read her.  In the past before these viral posts, there were a few incidents where several people who liked Lori turned on her if her blog posts pissed them off. Her blog on Travyon Martin pissed off people and someone on the blog said she was a black mother and would no longer be following Lori's blog. On her FB, I saw black women commenting and saying they were done with Lori. There were a few other incidents on the blog and FB where regular readers disagreed with Lori. I think she loses fans here and there.