Lori Alexander Pt. 9: Writing The World's Worst Book

[louisa05]

10 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I see how one would be busy with children at home, but to be home with nothing to do but clean all day?  Come on, there is only so much cleaning that needs to be done.  How much of a mess can 2 adults make when they are gone all day?  Sorry. but any woman who has no kids and does not work, volunteer, or go to school is just plain lazy.  Meals and cleaning for just two people should not take but 2-3 hours a day.  You can do a quarterly deep cleanIng on a weekend for cleaning behind furniture, washing  windows etc.

Edited to add: Make that 3-4 hours to allow for errands and shopping.

I know a lot of women who have ended up not working with no kids or no kids at home to care for elderly or ill parents. I was in that position myself for three years. But since I do not have kids, I was accused by others of being "just plain lazy". Make sure you know people's circumstances before you judge. 

And now, I'm still not working because getting back into the job market is never instantaneous. 

[seasonsoflife]

I believe, I might be wrong, that the poster was referring to SAHWism because Jesus. Like the woman Lori was "giving advice" to. I don't think she meant woman that for extraordinary circumstances -own health issues, other's health issues, and so many etceteras- need or choose to stay home. 

That said...If you are not working, studying, volunteering, raising kids, dealing with health issues, caring for a loved one, or retired...what in the world do you do all day? I would feel lazy...and get bored!

[EmiGirl]

10 hours ago, seasonsoflife said:

I believe, I might be wrong, that the poster was referring to SAHWism because Jesus. Like the woman Lori was "giving advice" to. I don't think she meant woman that for extraordinary circumstances -own health issues, other's health issues, and so many etceteras- need or choose to stay home. 

That said...If you are not working, studying, volunteering, raising kids, dealing with health issues, caring for a loved one, or retired...what in the world do you do all day? I would feel lazy...and get bored!

There's plenty to do. There's hobbies such as knitting, painting, crocheting, etc that are productive that one can do at home.

I'm going to be pretty nearly a SAHW soon because I'm pretty much finished training the new guy at work so that part of my job will be over. My husband and I like it that way because if he has to travel for work I can up and go with him if I want. I can hang out with my little cousins or my mom during the day if I want.

Just because you wouldn't be happy doesn't mean another woman wouldn't be. Don't judge just because it's not your personal preference. 

[louisa05]

23 minutes ago, EmiGirl said:

There's plenty to do. There's hobbies such as knitting, painting, crocheting, etc that are productive that one can do at home.

I'm going to be pretty nearly a SAHW soon because I'm pretty much finished training the new guy at work so that part of my job will be over. My husband and I like it that way because if he has to travel for work I can up and go with him if I want. I can hang out with my little cousins or my mom during the day if I want.

Just because you wouldn't be happy doesn't mean another woman wouldn't be. Don't judge just because it's not your personal preference. 

I think that our culture values money above all else and any work that is not for money is deemed not valuable or worthwhile. Most have agreed to make an exception for actively caring for children. BUT in my situation, people with children in school 7.5 hours a day or more for teens who go straight to activities immediately after school (none small enough to be at home) were always pointed out to me as being excused from full time work because of caring for children while I was expected to be juggling a full time job with the difficulty of caring for parents who were not only sick (dad) and impaired (mom) but also 65 miles away from me. And I was working as a sub teacher one or two days a week on top of that. But that work also didn't count in most people's minds. Shockingly enough, though, I have also encountered people who are under the impression that sub teaching is merely volunteer work and we are not paid. So that is then not considered a job or productive or anything to be valued enough for me to have worth either. In my area, we are actually paid pretty well. 

I still sub teach--I am averaging three days a week now that I have no other obligations. I typically spend one day a week with my mother as she still needs someone to help her run errands, handle paper work, banking, etc...So during the school year, I am busy 4 days of the 5 day work week most weeks and still have people asking me how I can stand being a "stay at home wife" with "nothing to do". 

[molecule]

Today's post features Lori telling us that anyone who understands the bible differently than she does is speaking evil and is blaspheming the word of God. One of the things that really irks me about her is that she completely discounts the role of prayer in people's lives. I understand about the bible being the word of God, but why does she believe that's the only way that God communicates with us? Who is she to say that a very clear instruction I personally received from God is wrong if it contradicts what she thinks the bible says?

[Koala]

I am a sahm right now.  I have never worked during my marriage (going on 16 years), and will not likely be working once my children are grown (in the next 5-6 years).

It's what both my husband and I want.  We raise German Shepherds, so our lifestyle doesn't lend itself to us not having someone home most of the time.  I also have some health issues that would make it difficult for me to work in any capacity outside the home.   It's a choice that I am grateful we've had the opportunity to make because it works for us.  

That said, I would never presume to know what works for another family.  My mom has a career in Human Resources, and she's rarely home other than to change clothes and sleep.  And you know what?  She's happy that way.  She'd be bored out of her mind with my life, and I'd be exhausted with hers...we each do what works for us.  THAT is the gift of feminism.  Women aren't locked into roles that don't suit them (no matter how angry that makes The Godly Mentor).  

Lori:

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Unfortunately, even those women who call themselves Christ followers don't like the instructions to women and rebel against them. I know. They rebel against what I teach all the time. 

Contrary to Lori's misguided belief, the women she teaches aren't under her authority to rebel against her. 

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What they are really rebelling against is the Word of God and they must not care about speaking evil against His Word. 

No, what they are doing is disagreeing with Lori Alexander's interpretation of the Word of God.  Using dramatic language like "speaking evil against His Word" is just a dramatic play to bring women under her control.  

Lori's basic premise is: "I speak for God and am commanded by him to boss everyone around.  If you don't listen to/ obey me, you must hate God and his ways! Because Godly Mentor!  And TRUTH!"

If you look at the blogs Lori follows, she essentially goes about from comment section to comment section arguing with the readers and trying to put them in their place.  She deletes comments on her own blog (unless they are blowing sunshine up her ass), but she goes to other blogs and tries to shout down the other women.  And it all goes back to Lori's desire to control other people.  She can't control Ken or her kids anymore, so she controls other women.
 

 

[dairyfreelife]

Just to throw the "appliances were all invented by men" out there...Josephine Cochrane invented the dishwasher. Melitta Bentz invented the modern day coffee filter. Katharine Blodgett helped invent many things, but is most famous for her invention of non-reflective glass, which we still use today in eyeglasses, car windshields (like in her Mercedes) and computer screens (how she blogs). Stephanie Kwolek invented the material later made into Kelvar, which is used in many items like bullet proof vests and fiber-optic cables. Rosalind Franklin was already mentioned. 

Other important women:

Mary Anderson-invented windshield wipers

Dr Grace Murray Hopper-COBOL language, which is a business software program

Margaret Knight-invented many items, the paper bag machine being her most famous, and held over 20 patents

Patsy Sherman-with co-worker Sam Smith invented Scotchgard(patented) stain repellent

Rachel Zimmerman-Blisssymbol printer, used to help non-verbal individuals and those with severe physical disabilities communicate

There's many more as well like Gertrude Elion, Madam CJ Walker, Beulah Louise Henry, Barbara Askins, Marjorie Joyner, Rachel Fuller Brown and Elizabeth Lee Hazen, Lillian Moller Gilbreth (also a mom of 12), Marie Van Brittan Brown with husband Albert Brown, Martha Costen, Tabitha Babbitt, Erna Schneider Hoover, Bessie Blount Griffin, Anna Keichline, Rosalyn Sussman Yalow, Sarah Guppy, Harriet Williams Russel Strong, Esther Lederberg, and Lina Stern and many more where that came from. 

There's so many amazing men and women who have made our lives so much better and easier, let's not discredit any of them. Why would you want about 50% of the world's population, and actually more if you count all the males in severe poverty also lacking education, to be unable to contribute their minds to society? Think of where we could be as a species if we provided everyone an education and gave them options for higher education and the ability to contribute their ideas and thoughts to society and the world? Why do we want to lose all that potential over notions of roles in life and believing certain aspects of a person's physical body (includes skin color, hair color, sex, anything) determines their lot or worth in life? 

 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

I am a sahm right now.  I have never worked during my marriage (going on 16 years), and will not likely be working once my children are grown (in the next 5-6 years).

It's what both my husband and I want.  We raise German Shepherds, so our lifestyle doesn't lend itself to us not having someone home most of the time.  I also have some health issues that would make it difficult for me to work in any capacity outside the home.   It's a choice that I am grateful we've had the opportunity to make because it works for us.  

That said, I would never presume to know what works for another family.  My mom has a career in Human Resources, and she's rarely home other than to change clothes and sleep.  And you know what?  She's happy that way.  She'd be bored out of her mind with my life, and I'd be exhausted with hers...we each do what works for us.  THAT is the gift of feminism.  Women aren't locked into roles that don't suit them (no matter how angry that makes The Godly Mentor).  

Lori:

Contrary to Lori's misguided belief, the women she teaches aren't under her authority to rebel against her. 

No, what they are doing is disagreeing with Lori Alexander's interpretation of the Word of God.  Using dramatic language like "speaking evil against His Word" is just a dramatic play to bring women under her control.  

Lori's basic premise is: "I speak for God and am commanded by him to boss everyone around.  If you don't listen to/ obey me, you must hate God and his ways! Because Godly Mentor!  And TRUTH!"

If you look at the blogs Lori follows, she essentially goes about from comment section to comment section arguing with the readers and trying to put them in their place.  She deletes comments on her own blog (unless they are blowing sunshine up her ass), but she goes to other blogs and tries to shout down the other women.  And it all goes back to Lori's desire to control other people.  She can't control Ken or her kids anymore, so she controls other women.
 

 

This is exactly where I am too, and how I feel. I am a SAHM, though my kids are teens, but we're made this choice based on our unique situation. It's very unlikely that every other family in the US would have the same reasons.

I happen to love little kids, so being home for early childhood was a joy I'll be forever grateful for. Actually I'm grateful to have been home for all of it (with the possible exception of a few early teen periods).  

Because of my own (destructive) childhood, I felt a strong need to be available to my kids in middle childhood and even now (when they often wish I was home less and would stay out of their business more). My husband's career involves travel and very odd hours, so it would be very difficult to have a two-career family. I really don't do well with stress, so the busyness of a two-career household would just leave me cranky and exhausted. But I know many women who do it well.

My husband agrees with all this. I work very hard to keep expenses low, because we've made some bad financial decisions in the past that we need to repair. I would go back to work if I found something that fit our family, but till I do, I'll stay where I am.

But that's us. The family next door has a completely different set of issues. They need to work with them. I'd never, ever say that a kid with a nanny or in a day-care program was being "raised by strangers." That would be rude, untrue and, frankly, not very Christlike.

[polecat]

On 7/14/2016 at 0:13 PM, Free Jana Duggar said:

I see how one would be busy with children at home, but to be home with nothing to do but clean all day?  Come on, there is only so much cleaning that needs to be done.  How much of a mess can 2 adults make when they are gone all day?  Sorry. but any woman who has no kids and does not work, volunteer, or go to school is just plain lazy.  Meals and cleaning for just two people should not take but 2-3 hours a day.  You can do a quarterly deep cleanIng on a weekend for cleaning behind furniture, washing  windows etc.

Edited to add: Make that 3-4 hours to allow for errands and shopping.

 

 

Oh, I don't know that I'd say she was lazy. If someone has the financial wherewithal to not work for a paycheck, there are plenty of ways to occupy their days beyond school, kids and volunteer work. Hobbies, friends, social engagements, etc. It's not really something I personally would enjoy -- I don't think, not at this time in my life, anyway -- but it's something I can see being appealing to some. 

That said, Lori is indeed lazy according to her own words and published opinions. 

[Koala]

Yep.  Lori is lazy because she DID have the kids and didn't want to take care of them or put any kind of effort into raising them.  She let them cry through the night because it was easier for her.  She hit their little faces while they nursed, because it was easier than unlatching them.  She hit them during diaper changes because she didn't want her time wasted while they squirmed.  She hit them when they crawled because she didn't want to have to watch them.  She hit them with a leather strap because she didn't want to actually teach them.  

Notice anything?  She hit them for pretty much everything.  She wasn't any kind of a mother. 

She locked them in their rooms for 2 hours a day, because she couldn't be bothered with them.  Hell, a nanny mothered her youngest because she couldn't bear the way Lori was leaving her to cry for hours at a time.

She said today:

Quote

to be home full-time without children but it is right where I would have loved being the first years of our marriage

And you know what?  I would have respected Lori a whole lot more if she'd married a man content with her staying home without children, because she sure as hell wasn't cut out to raise children.

[Koala]

Today's post is a hot mess.  It's a future MILS letter to her future DIL.  I'll let you read it for yourself, but this was my favorite part:

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I believe men were made stronger physically so that they could provide for us and protect us. I believe women are more emotional because it helps them to be better mothers. I have no basis for this thinking; it just makes sense to me. So, please do not buy into the “we are the same” lie, you are not the same and were each created for a specific purpose. 

"I have no basis for my thoughts, for I am just a fickle brained woman, but please embrace them as your own!"

[Loveday]

15 minutes ago, Koala said:

Today's post is a hot mess.  It's a future MILS letter to her future DIL.  I'll let you read it for yourself, but this was my favorite part:

I believe men were made stronger physically so that they could provide for us and protect us. I believe women are more emotional because it helps them to be better mothers. I have no basis for this thinking; it just makes sense to me. So, please do not buy into the “we are the same” lie, you are not the same and were each created for a specific purpose. 

"I have no basis for my thoughts, for I am just a fickle brained woman, but please embrace them as your own!"

What, there's no Bible verse to support her thinking? I can't believe Lori let that one slide; she has a Bible verse for everything, whether it really fits the situation or not. 

[iweartanktops]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

Today's post is a hot mess.  It's a future MILS letter to her future DIL.  I'll let you read it for yourself, but this was my favorite part:

"I have no basis for my thoughts, for I am just a fickle brained woman, but please embrace them as your own!"

My goodness. Lori is a hot mess. Story time:

I know a Lori in real life. Let me tell you, she's a real peach. She also calls herself a mentor for Christian women. She spends her days preaching from her Facebook page. I've quietly watched as she's spewed hate for people have sex or live together before marriage, Islam, etc. On a couple of occasions I have commented on her posts with a thought provoking question. Note, I'm never argumentative or disrespectful. My intention has been to provoke critical thinking. Interestingly, she just skips my comments or deletes them all together. Last week she posted a "prayer alert" for the police officers who were killed in Dallas. I commented that I was glued to the screen and devastated by the attack. I then asked her if she was praying for Alton Sterling and Philando Castile's loved ones. She responded that I was "looking for a fight," and BLOCKED ME. 

People who call themselves "mentors" or "teachers," but can't answer a challenging question, have none of my respect. After all, if you're in ministry, I believe you should expect and even desire for people to challenge you. Isn't that how you teach people? I asked my brother, who has been a pastor for a number of years, and he was horrified. 

I don't know if I identify as Christian any more, but if I did, I would want nothing to do with people like Lori and the like. This was days ago and I'm still feeling sick and disgusted. 

[molecule]

54 minutes ago, iweartanktops said:

People who call themselves "mentors" or "teachers," but can't answer a challenging question, have none of my respect. After all, if you're in ministry, I believe you should expect and even desire for people to challenge you. Isn't that how you teach people? I asked my brother, who has been a pastor for a number of years, and he was horrified. 

 

I am in ministry, and I don't have the expectation of being challenged--but that may be because of my approach to ministry. I point out biblical passages, I share my experience, and I offer suggestions--but I don't judge, nor do I come out and say "this is right, and that is wrong." I don't typically do or say the kinds of things that invite challenge. When people post things that ask challenging questions, I do my best to answer them.

Most of my ministry friends and I try to approach challenge in this way: it is an opportunity for ministry. Sometimes, a person's question clearly stands on a foundation of their own hurt, and my response can soothe or irritate, drawing someone closer to God or pushing them away. Even when a question is from someone who seems to be looking for a fight and I don't think my response will make one bit of difference to that person, my response just might make a difference to someone else who reads the exchange.

It is beyond me how someone can respond to a thoughtful question with hateful words and actions. I've known some Lori-like women, too, and I cringe to think of how many people they are pushing away from God just by their hatred.

[desertvixen]

Note that it's another badly-credited guest post - not that it's any less stupid...

[Koala]

In case you're all wondering, that's the Internet's face when Lori mentions her post going viral AGAIN!

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As you know, my post that went viral was about housework.

Yes, we know.  We know, because you've mentioned it about 693 times a day since it happened.  We get it.  It went viral.  Massive.  It puked all over the internet and mankind shall never be the same.  You're popular, you're popular! 

Yay.  

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 Yesterday, I asked the women in my chat room if their grandmothers expected their husbands to help with housework. They all said, "Never!"

Well, someone should have told my Papa.  Of course he wouldn't have had time to listen to them, because he'd have been busy cooking dinner-  while my Nana worked.  Because he got off earlier and it seems the whole family had this pesky eating habit.

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The thing about housework is it really is not that difficult. I can unload a dishwasher in five minutes. Fold a load of laundry in ten minutes. 

Translation? Why, sure! 

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The thing about housework is it really is not that difficult. My maid can unload a dishwasher in five minutes. Fold a load of laundry in ten minutes. 

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I know this one mother with nine children and after she had her fifth baby on, she didn't have to do any housework since she had trained her older children to do it.

Translation:

Quote

She had 9 built in maids ya'll!  Why didn't Ken think of that??  We could have had our nanny train our kids to clean our house!  Damn, but nothing's sadder than a missed opportunity! 

Quote

Don't let feminism define how you live your life but live your life by the example your grandmother set for you, if you were blessed to have one. Biblical roles were followed back then when our country was a moral one. 

Umm, okay....guess I'll be getting a job then, cause I'm a sahm now, and my grandmother never was.  Great advice Lori.  Thanks.

[Loveday]

Did Lori finish her TTUAC series? Because today's post (which begins with yet another 'As you know, my post that went viral...' ) is all about how women should not expect men to lift a finger to help with housework. 

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Yesterday, I asked the women in my chat room if their grandmothers expected their husbands to help with housework. They all said, "Never!" My mother and Ken's mother never expected or asked their husbands to help with housework and they never did. Back then, everyone knew their role in the family structure. The men would work hard to provide for their families and the women would bear children and keep the home.

Oddly enough, I remember my own grandfather--a fairly patriarchal traditionalist although not in a religious sense--helping my grandmother with the housework quite often. But then, my grandmother, who had five children between 1932 and 1945, worked outside the home for many years, both during WWII and for years afterward, right through those idyllic 50s when women supposedly knew their place and stayed home, cleaning and cooking while wearing pearls and high heels. So maybe that example doesn't count.

[molecule]

After the first sentence of today's post, my eyes rolled so far back in my head that I could barely read the rest of it.

Why has Lori idolized our grandmothers, as though they did everything perfectly and biblically? One of my grandmothers was a farm wife. She had a huge garden and did all the housework--but she also helped in the fields and barns. She wasn't exactly staying inside the home and doing nothing but housekeeping. My other grandmother hated housework even more than I do. She worked a full-time job back in the 50's, even while she had children. My husband's grandmothers were both farm wives--and one was also a school teacher. I wonder what Lori would have to say about that, considering that these were all submissive God-fearing women. (Well, maybe not my housework-hating grandmother. She told my grandfather that if he decided he had to go help build the Hoover Dam, he shouldn't expect her to be around when he came back.)

[Chocolatedefrauded]

Geez, my grandmother worked as an operating room nurse. It came in handy when Grandpop broke his back & had to lay on the couch for 6 months to recover. They had 6 kids who did not starve because Grandmom worked. Most immigrant families had both parents working so she is stupid to suggest otherwise.

 

 

[Koala]

Just going to leave this here.  You're welcome.

Lori Alexander (Always Learning FB):

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Jesus never did housework

That is all.

[Gemini]

7 minutes ago, Koala said:

Just going to leave this here.  You're welcome.

Lori Alexander (Always Learning FB):

That is all.

Well of course not, he had his wife do it...

oh.. Never mind 

[Loveday]

There's also that moment when Martha was running around like mad trying to get dinner prepared for Jesus, while her sister Mary sat at His feet listening to Him. Did Jesus tell Mary to get up and go help her sister? No. He told Martha that Mary had chosen what was better. 

Seems Jesus doesn't want women to do housework!

[louisa05]

3 minutes ago, Loveday said:

There's also that moment when Martha was running around like mad trying to get dinner prepared for Jesus, while her sister Mary sat at His feet listening to Him. Did Jesus tell Mary to get up and go help her sister? No. He told Martha that Mary had chosen what was better. 

Seems Jesus doesn't want women to do housework!

Yesterday's gospel for most liturgical churches. 

Our associate priest, who is a bit of a moron, made a mess of a homily out of that. Mostly about how women can't get along with each other and Mary and Martha were probably fighting all the time because they were sisters. Fortunately, based on body language every other Sunday at his masses (we get the senior pastor one week and him the next), hardly anyone really listens to a word the man says anymore. A lot of people use that time to read the reflections on the day's scriptures in one of the mass books. Those that do appear to listen nudge their spouses and roll their eyes a lot. 

[Koala]

Lori:

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After I timed myself and saw how quickly I could get things done around the house, I had no rationale to not do them!

Oh Lori, quit selling those women a bill of goods.  You know full well that you had a housekeeper and a nanny when you had kids at home.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she still has one.  That said, how much could there be to clean when she serves Big Salads for dinner and there's just her and Ken to clean up after?

In other news, this is an interesting post on bribing your husband into acting like a semi decent human being:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/02/anonymous-mommy-needs-help.html

Note the following at the end of the post:

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*** Helped written by Ken

Gets me every time.

That's not the only time she's advised her readers that a post was "helped written" by Ken.

On a related note, I can't help but feel like today's post is a passive aggressive jab at Ken for suggesting that perhaps a godly husband should help his wife around the house....  She's practically screaming to the MRA crowd, "I'm not like him!  I'm like you!  Oh please, let me be your doormat!" 

 

 

[feministxtian]

Why the hell doesn't she just speak up and tell her husband that she needs help and get off his ass and get busy?