Meredith had her baby!

[pomology]

I am honestly starting to wonder. Based on the description given to us by the lovely NeedsDistractions, I'm starting to think Steven is the type of guy that got to college, figured out that he wanted to be a Senator, and sought out a lifestyle that would best help his chances of becoming one. Ivy League education -- check. Joined the armed forces -- check. Conversion to conservative Christianity -- check. Wife with absolutely no "illicit" past -- check.

I could be nuts, but I'm starting to wonder if he's the type to say one thing to move along the life plan, but should circumstances require it, would entirely backpedal. I question if he's as conservative and fundamentalist as has been speculated. Sure, there was a honeymoon baby, but from the description we have, it seems more like he has ambitions that have little to do with religion.

NeedsDistraction, thanks for giving us the scoop! Seriously, if you really ever need a distraction, check out the other threads. It's like going down the fundamentalist rabbit hole. It's easy to get sucked in... trust someone who knows.[/quote]

Totally in agreement with all of this. I want to add that maybe the reason that Meredith had a honeymoon baby when most fundies don't is because Steve actually knew what he was doing. Also, if he is just in it for the political cred, he probably wouldn't want to have shocked Meredith by revealing any beliefs that would go against her parents' too soon.

[hoipolloi]

I never knew Mere or Steve before here. I've been reading her mother's blog, and Mere's from when she was a SAHD. In what way was her father unkind to her mother? I read they were high school sweethearts. From photos they looked pretty normal as far as no fundie dresses, normal swim suits at the beach they love, shorts. Mere seems like a really sweet and nice person, and she has her husband on a pedestal, never a good thing. I hope he always treat her well. Nell

Nurse Nell - check out this extended commentary by Meredith's mother (particularly the section on family size): http://www.alexanderadventures.com/gpage9.html

[Clementine]

I too thought that is was super creepy the way that Steven approached Meredith.

The thing that strikes me is that Steven from the start has been 110% sure that he will always have the power in this relationship (financially, intellectually and emotionally, since he picked a bride that is brought up to submit to her husband).

It's a perfect environment for emotional abuse and supressing the wife.

Scary.

[NurseNell]

Nurse Nell - check out this extended commentary by Meredith's mother (particularly the section on family size): http://www.alexanderadventures.com/gpage9.html

I did read that page but I'm still not seeing problems with how her father treated her mother.

Nell

[desertvixen]

It's slow and not wanting to load, but isn't that the section where her father kept her mom waiting as to whether or not they would risk HER health with another pregnancy?

[NurseNell]

It's slow and not wanting to load, but isn't that the section where her father kept her mom waiting as to whether or not they would risk HER health with another pregnancy?

Let me go reread. I got the idea that was as much her wishes as his. She certainly had a lot of miscarriages and then with a molar pregnancy it would have been wise to wait.

Nell

[NurseNell]

It's slow and not wanting to load, but isn't that the section where her father kept her mom waiting as to whether or not they would risk HER health with another pregnancy?

OK, I reread it and there's nothing about the father keeping the mom waiting regarding another pregnancy. It was her decision just as much as his, the way she writes it.

Nell

[Guest Anonymous]

I did read that page but I'm still not seeing problems with how her father treated her mother.

Nell

From that page:

I waited and prayed for days before telling Timmy about the call. His first reaction was one of fear and frustration, but after several days he responded to my question of what he had decided to do by simply saying, "What other choice do we have? We're going to keep trusting God."

I don't think there is any doubt that Timmy decided to trust God rather than the obstetrician on this occasion. The obstetrician was pleading with them to use birth control while M's mother was being treated following a molar pregnancy, because a further pregnancy could lead to death for both mother and baby.

[gustava]

Maybe Meredith was tired of being the strong person in the family and wants a strong man, unlike her father.

[maybeizfundie]

I don't think there is any doubt that Timmy decided to trust God rather than the obstetrician on this occasion. The obstetrician was pleading with them to use birth control while M's mother was being treated following a molar pregnancy, because a further pregnancy could lead to death for both mother and baby.

Having had a molar pregnancy, it's not *quite* that simple. Pregnancy right after a molar pregnancy =/= death. It can complicate care, for sure, and cause extra worry, for sure, but it is not an automatic death sentance, or even close. Molar pregnancy is *potentially* cancerous, but not always, and if the pathology after surgery shows that the growth was non-cancerous, the risk of cancerous regrowth is pretty unlikely. Once you've had a molar pregnancy, you have a higher risk of having a second one, but it's still a low risk overall.

The reason OB's ask people to wait is that it is easier for them to follow things and make sure that there is no recurrence of molar growth and/or make sure the growth was not cancerous (and more than 80% of the time, it is not). A new pregnancy would have to be followed very closely. I'd be more concerned about people not pursuing the followup care, which requires frequent blood tests until hcg is at zero.

For some reason I had a hard time reading that post. I don't know if it's how she writes or what. But it looks like their pregnancy after the molar pregnancy didn't happen until very close to the time when some doctors consider it safe to concieve again. And that's part of the difficulty in "listening to your doctor". You may get a goodly number of different opinions. I was told to wait a year, but when I was trying to learn about what had happened with my body, I learned that some feel that 6 months is plenty of time, and that the reasons are not "because if you don't you will surely Die!!!!!" but because it is easier to monitor and catch the rare cases of recurrence. We ended up waiting 9 months, because my husband was out of the country when the molar pregnancy was diagnosed, and wasn't back until then. I would have been comfortable with a much shorter time, as pathology reported benign growth and hcg levels returned to zero within a few weeks, and stayed there.

[Witsec1]

Oh, FFS. Cannot believe people are defending El Timmy here. "Just as much her choice as his" - bollocks! She had ceded all decisions about what was to happen to with her own body to her earthly lord. And he decided that their cockamamie ideology was more important than her life.

Having had a molar pregnancy, it's not *quite* that simple. Pregnancy right after a molar pregnancy =/= death.

Head-desk. Statistics, how do they work. Not using a child seat for your kid =/= death. Driving after a few beers =/= death. Driving your kid without a child seat after a few beers =/= death. But it IS reckless endangerment.

And Timmy made the decision to go against medical advice because of his stupid conviction that birth control is evil and he just could not give up penis in vagina sex for any time period whatsoever.

[silvia]

Whoa, people, this thread seems to have had over 1,000 additional views in the past 12 hours or so. I wonder who all has been constantly refreshing their browser windows? (Besides the posters, of course.)

[atheistjd]

Oh, FFS. Cannot believe people are defending El Timmy here. "Just as much her choice as his" - bollocks! She had ceded all decisions about what was to happen to with her own body to her earthly lord. And he decided that their cockamamie ideology was more important than her life.

Head-desk. Statistics, how do they work. Not using a child seat for your kid =/= death. Driving after a few beers =/= death. Driving your kid without a child seat after a few beers =/= death. But it IS reckless endangerment.

And Timmy made the decision to go against medical advice because of his stupid conviction that birth control is evil and he just could not give up penis in vagina sex for any time period whatsoever.

I have to agree.

I know people have different expectations and goals in a relationship, and my relationship does not have as it's primary goal, at least this second, child-making. So I am coming from a different perspective than, say, a couple who has been struggling with infertility. But I once asked my husband if we had one shot (for whatever reason - age, whatever) to have a kid and that pregnancy risked my life, even minimally, what he would think about continuing said pregnancy.

He looked at me like I had two heads and was offended that I had asked the question. He was truly disturbed that I would even think that he might choose a *potential* life over the life of the woman he loved.

From that perspective, Timmy's actions are pretty offensive. And not to be offensive, because I get that each child is different, blah blah, but it's not like they hadn't been able to have ANY kids. They already had a thriving young family. And he STILL chose to endanger her life (no, not 100% chance of death, but really, what is the acceptable risk when you're talking about your life partner??) for the possibility of a few more arrows in the quiver?

[Hisey]

Nell,

I don't have time to get any links, but I don't believe Timmy treats Joy with much respect. A couple of years ago, when they moved into their abandoned farmhouse, Joy really, really wanted the roof painted. It looked ugly. Timmy flat out told her it wasn't going to get done for a while, and she should just forget it. She made it sound as though he spoke to her really rudely.

Another time, i heard a podcast she made about her early married years. She said she had been struggling because Timmy was so rude and critical towards her.

Another time, shortly after Meredith left home, Joy wrote about how Meredith inherited many good qualities from Timmy, but that (unlike him) she was was "able to be kind"

Joy's also posted about Timmy's abrupt, brusque manner.

Plus, I mean, he chose to forego birth control--risking her life--rather than enduring a year without nookie. And Joy got pregnant at that time (with Sheridan), so they were obviously "doing it." I think that says it all.

[treemom]

It was cancerous as I recall.

And she got pregnant which meant it was harder to monitor for a return of it.

Timmy is an asshat. And I think Steve/Stephen is a bad guy. A really bad guy.

[treemom]

I did read that page but I'm still not seeing problems with how her father treated her mother.

Nell

Well then you should read her whole blog because Timmy dismisses Joy all the time. ALL the time.

[Witsec1]

Hisey, thanks for that summary. I couldn't remember all the other examples.

[NurseNell]

From that page:

I waited and prayed for days before telling Timmy about the call. His first reaction was one of fear and frustration, but after several days he responded to my question of what he had decided to do by simply saying, "What other choice do we have? We're going to keep trusting God."

I don't think there is any doubt that Timmy decided to trust God rather than the obstetrician on this occasion. The obstetrician was pleading with them to use birth control while M's mother was being treated following a molar pregnancy, because a further pregnancy could lead to death for both mother and baby.

You're right, somehow I missed that part.

Nell

[NurseNell]

Head-desk. Statistics, how do they work. Not using a child seat for your kid =/= death. Driving after a few beers =/= death. Driving your kid without a child seat after a few beers =/= death. But it IS reckless endangerment.

I didn't know about those things, haven't read back in their blog. It doesn't get much stupider than drinking and driving, with or without kids. In most states it's against the law to not have kids in car seats.

Nell

[NurseNell]

Well then you should read her whole blog because Timmy dismisses Joy all the time. ALL the time.

I'll do that tonight.

Nell

[hoipolloi]

Over a 1000 new views! I wonder how many of them are from .mil addresses?

Then again, FJ might be one of the ebil websites, like DailyKos, that the military bans from its IT domains.

[Witsec1]

I didn't know about those things, haven't read back in their blog. It doesn't get much stupider than drinking and driving, with or without kids. In most states it's against the law to not have kids in car seats.

Nell

Uh, did anyone else think that I meant the Alexanders had actually done those things? If so, sorry for being unclear. It was meant as an illustration of statistical risk and why it is not a good idea to take completely unnecessary risks with other people's lives.

[Guest Anonymous]

Having had a molar pregnancy, it's not *quite* that simple. Pregnancy right after a molar pregnancy =/= death.

I said "could". I understand probablility.

I was illustrating, for Nurse Nell, the point that Timmy was willing to take a decision that risked his wife's life.

I understood what you were saying FloraPoste and agree wholeheartedly.

Timmy is a douche.

[demgirl]

Uh, yeah. The page views are a little out of control, aren't they? I foresee visitors in the next week or two. Eek! Someone get out the steam cleaner!

[Guest Anonymous]

Looks like Stephen's plan to stop Mere from blogging was akin to closing the stable door after the horse had bolted. :lol: