Bates Family Part 13: Like Lipstick on a Pig

[HereticHick]

Lawson posted a pic from Clermont Florida yesterday, just a few miles west of John & Alyssa in Winter Garden. YET ANOTHER Bates trip to Florida.

Beats working, I guess.

 

 

[crazysnark]

It may be for Allie's birthday. I think its this month. 

[colors_outside15]

@formergothardite, @nelliebelle1197, @Palimpsest, @THERetroGamerNY ... I just wanted to reach out and say that I'm sorry if I hurt any of you. I agree with what all of you are saying, and didn't mean to start anything with the baby steps post. Anyone who escaped ATI/IBLP is incredibly brave, in my opinion. That's not what I escaped from, so I can't speak to that -- just to escaping from a dangerous, abusive cult. I posted after about how false I realized the "baby steps" post was because that's not what happened to me at all, and Retro was smart enough to point it out to me. I respect all of you a lot, and find this forum to be the one place where people can understand me, so I'm sorry and just want to say that I have a lot to learn, a lot to overcome, a long way to go in terms of healing and emotional baggage, and critical thinking and learning feelings is something I had to start learning in my 20s so, I don't always get things the first time around, but I really try. It's not an excuse for writing a shitty post, but it's the truth. I come in peace, and admire all of your resolve and healing and ability to open other people's eyes. 

[SilverBeach]

8 hours ago, Imagine20 said:

Calgon is also a brand of bubble bath. 

Thanks to all the posters that escaped from this cult and have posted about their experiences in and leaving it. It's very eye opening and insightful for an outsider like me. 

The support here is awesome. I was in an Buddhist cult decades ago and still dream about it. The mind flucking is thorough. Everybody be encouraged, it's safe here!

[THERetroGamerNY]

@colors_outside15 You're good with me. Takes a lot to admit being wrong about something.

I have a remarkably thick skin, especially in this forum. I think I own the "most hated newb" award due to recent affairs. Even that ruckus didn't offend me too much.

I think we're all being (myself included) incredibly polite in talking about this, if bluntly honest (I'm a prophet! Yay!)

I *get* the fascination with the Bates. They have a mega family, which people find highly alluring and curious. They seem wholesome and down-to-earth. I get how people would want to watch them, and even cry at "how romantic" Michela's (sp?) wedding is (friend of mine confessed to this).

But I don't know of any survivor who is going to just remain silent on explaining who they really are. Underneath that alluring gloss is pure damage, and I give them a zero tolerance on it.

Like, to me, Michela's wedding was SAD. I saw a girl basically having what just may be the apex "achievement" in her sheltered life. And now everyone just waits for the expected baby bumps.

That is sad, damn it!!! That is NOT beautiful or romantic!

[colors_outside15]

12 minutes ago, THERetroGamerNY said:

@colors_outside15 You're good with me. Takes a lot to admit being wrong about something.

I *get* the fascination with the Bates. They have a mega family, which people find highly alluring and curious. They seem wholesome and down-to-earth. I get how people would want to watch them, and even cry at "how romantic" Michela's (sp?) wedding is (friend of mine confessed to this).

But I don't know of any survivor who is going to just remain silent on explaining who they really are. Underneath that alluring gloss is pure damage, and I give them a zero tolerance on it.

That's partially what's so embarrassing. You are spot on, and I escaped from a cult, and am a survivor of many horrific events, but I'm not smart enough or educated enough (or something enough) yet to always pick up on all the nuances right away. I wish for the upteenth time that I had any sort of "proper" childhood, but when you are a full-on parent at 8, you're a bit limited in terms of skill set. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever catch up to normal people. I just hope I manage to do some good somehow 

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

Sorry to derail. I saw Season 3, Ep 3 lately (15 kids and an empty nest). Noticed Michaella wore a shirt with words on it to the registry office (it said Forever and Always I think). I didn't think that was allowed under IBLP? Wouldn't words across the boobs be considered "eye traps"?

I just thought it was interesting.

[elliha]

As much as I hope that the Duggars and Bates and all the others who want to break free do so I also want those who do not want to break free totally to be allowed to be given that space. I do think that some of the Bates children have done the second thing, for now or forever, none of us know if the yearn for more or have found their space. I do think small steps are important for the individual if it gives them the life they want but also for siblings who possibly want out completely. If we say that 5 siblings have all made small steps away from what they were taught then if another want to take all 5 or a couple more I think it is more likely they will have someone in the family still wanting to remain in contact. Giving up family is likely to be a big hinderance for leaving for many.

 

[OnceUponATime]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I just want to know if there is an online quiz  I can take - kind of like which Harry Potter house would you be sorted into, or which Golden Girl are you.

Because I haven't wasted enough time today.

If  a non-Gothard spiritual gift test will do here or here

[THERetroGamerNY]

Sorry to derail. I saw Season 3, Ep 3 lately (15 kids and an empty nest). Noticed Michaella wore a shirt with words on it to the registry office (it said Forever and Always I think). I didn't think that was allowed under IBLP? Wouldn't words across the boobs be considered "eye traps"?

I just thought it was interesting.

They seem to be "modest casual" in regards to that crap.

[Thorns]

At the Bates Family site/blog they flat out state that

"... Our goal is to train up our children....that they might enter work places, churches and homes as soldiers for Christ..."

(The site is protected, so you can't copy/paste). https://thebatesfamily.com/

The show are probably just a reflection of that, and all the bright and shiny-ness makes their morals and values more palatable. It is a short step from more palatable to acceptance.

I freely admit, I find them fascinating. And even more so, I find this forum fascinating. It is an entirely different world to me! And from watching the shows for the fun and the laughs, I find myself watching more and more for the context it gives to the discussions here!

[THERetroGamerNY]

Key words in that summary of them being "train" and "soldier".

Most parents just "raise" children.

[Palimpsest]

No worries @colors_outside15.

I'm not an IBLP/cult survivor although I admire them and very much appreciate the people who share their knowledge and experience here.  I'm just a evangelical Missionary Kid escapee, although Steve Maxwell and his control issues are very uncomfortably reminiscent of my late father on his worst days.  

Most of my knowledge in this area comes from having friends and family members who are cult survivors.  I think it is a long and very painful process to overcome the indoctrination, and to break away from family and all you have known.  Healing takes a lot of time and hard work and I will hold you in my thoughts.

[nelliebelle1197]

2 hours ago, colors_outside15 said:

@formergothardite, @nelliebelle1197, @Palimpsest, @THERetroGamerNY ... I just wanted to reach out and say that I'm sorry if I hurt any of you. I agree with what all of you are saying, and didn't mean to start anything with the baby steps post. Anyone who escaped ATI/IBLP is incredibly brave, in my opinion. That's not what I escaped from, so I can't speak to that -- just to escaping from a dangerous, abusive cult. I posted after about how false I realized the "baby steps" post was because that's not what happened to me at all, and Retro was smart enough to point it out to me. I respect all of you a lot, and find this forum to be the one place where people can understand me, so I'm sorry and just want to say that I have a lot to learn, a lot to overcome, a long way to go in terms of healing and emotional baggage, and critical thinking and learning feelings is something I had to start learning in my 20s so, I don't always get things the first time around, but I really try. It's not an excuse for writing a shitty post, but it's the truth. I come in peace, and admire all of your resolve and healing and ability to open other people's eyes. 

You did nothing wrong and no one is hurt. Trust me,.

[TuringMachine]

2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Lawson posted a pic from Clermont Florida yesterday, just a few miles west of John & Alyssa in Winter Garden. YET ANOTHER Bates trip to Florida.Beats working, I guess.

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

The angle / position of the "C" by his ear makes it look like he has an earring at first glance. Could you imagine? 

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

So let me get this straight: the Bates just invited like any and all of their fans to celebrate Trace and Carlin's graduation? Talk about a gift grab. Crazy

[choralcrusader8613]

This can only go well. /sarcasm Not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, they may be completely prepared to host a ton of people (though I have my doubts). On the other, it at least looks gift-grabby.

[VelociRapture]

... This party could go so bad in so many ways for them. I hope it doesn't strictly because it's for two of the kids and not the jackass parents. 

And yes, the grift is still very strong with this family.

[formergothardite]

Carlin wanted to invite strangers to the party. Kind of like how Jill Rod's children just wanted to take tons of pictures of her. 

[THERetroGamerNY]

That's not grifting, that's being "blessed". *rolls eyes*

[Snarkle]

It's one thing to announce a wedding...but this is a whole 'nother thing.  I would worry about the sort of nutjobs that could show up - not just leghumpers.  So does this mean the Rodrigues family is already packing up the RV?

[RosyDaisy]

Fuck you Lawson for that pic of Terrie Schiavo! You are an ignorant, arrogant son of a bitch!

[THERetroGamerNY]

4 hours ago, colors_outside15 said:

That's partially what's so embarrassing. You are spot on, and I escaped from a cult, and am a survivor of many horrific events, but I'm not smart enough or educated enough (or something enough) yet to always pick up on all the nuances right away. I wish for the upteenth time that I had any sort of "proper" childhood, but when you are a full-on parent at 8, you're a bit limited in terms of skill set. Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever catch up to normal people. I just hope I manage to do some good somehow 

Normal people? Normal is what everybody else is, and you are not. And if you ask somebody else what "normal" is, it is - again - what everybody else is and they are not.

No such thing as "normal". You can only be yourself. =)

[ilikecheese]

Is it weird for me to think that Carlin is looking for possible courtship mates at this party? I mean she has just graduated and unfortunately that's the next thing she might want to do in her life. 

[Diana]

20 minutes ago, Snarkle said:

It's one thing to announce a wedding...but this is a whole 'nother thing.  I would worry about the sort of nutjobs that could show up - not just leghumpers.  So does this mean the Rodrigues family is already packing up the RV?

Agree. A graduation party with their family/friends would be a fantastic idea, but to invite anyone....maybe they are not aware that some of their fans are not very mentally stable?