Bates Family Part 13: Like Lipstick on a Pig

[withaj]

7 minutes ago, GreenTea said:

Didn't mean to break any rules. I was just curious as to what the turn out would be if the Bates invite the public and how they plan to handle that. If it's not something to post I can rephrase or take if off. 

I think discussing the open invitation in the context of "Have they thought about how this could backfire?" is totally legitimate, and I'm curious exactly how they're going to handle things too. I was really just responding to the "Who's going to go check it out?" comment, which I think is seriously problematic.

[Curious]

15 minutes ago, withaj said:

I believe it's been established that seeking out any of these folks in Real Life is discouraged, but if members choose to do so on their own time, they shouldn't do so as representatives of FJ and they shouldn't discuss it here.

I just checked the ToU and don't see anything that speaks directly to this, but @Curious, can you chime in here? 

It's not a codified rule.  It's something we added to the Welcome New Members page for now.  Hopefully, we won't have to make it an official rule.   I'm tired of making rules based on member behavior

[withaj]

Just now, Curious said:

It's not a codified rule.  It's something we added to the Welcome New Members page for now.  Hopefully, we won't have to make it an official rule.   I'm tired of making rules based on member behavior

That last sentence gels so well with your avatar...

[Coconut Flan]

Referencing Gil being found guilty, this is not a criminal trial.  There will be no guilty verdicts.  The board (and possibly it's members individually) will be found liable for monetary damages or not. 

[nokidsmom]

1 hour ago, iweartanktops said:

WHY do people think the Bates kids have so much freedom? I don't get it. Since when is it "freedom" to go confess to kissing your partner in your twenties (or ever)? This is just one example of the lack of freedom in this family. 

Not just lack of freedom but Holy Boundary Issues, Batman!

The lack of personal boundaries here for both parents and children (and adult children, to boot) is astounding.  

 

[what the heck]

On April 1, 2016 at 7:43 PM, JesusCampSongs said:

47 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Or you could not be completely creepy and show up at a graduation party with the sole intent of mocking it.  The fuck?

As has been stated ....repeatedly....we have no desire to control what people do on their own time.  

I'm sure others will disagree but to me this is very different than attending a Maxwell Seminar of Boredom or an Arndt Classic.  Maxwells are making money and trying to convert people to their weird scheduling and teach people how to use an internet browser cult...and doing public presentations.

Arndts have had proball players there and events for the kids...it is an activity put on for the general public and advertised as such.

This is a couple of idiots Gil and Kelly being completely reckless IMO and clearly opened it up for their fan and humpers.  

I'm not even talking about the rules in this post - just about being a decent human being and not crashing an event where morons stupidly issued an open invite just to be an asshole.

Here's something else to think about, if you go you could be putting yourself at risk bc of unstable fans. Yes this could be far fetched, but anything could happen!

[nokidsmom]

Gil and Kelly cannot pass up a chance to grift off their fans and humpers which I believe is the reason for their open invitations.   They couldn't pass up taking a collection for the honeymoon at Cherin's wedding plus Lawson was hawking his CDs.   It's all about the grift, folks.  

[HereticHick]

18 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

Gil and Kelly cannot pass up a chance to grift off their fans and humpers which I believe is the reason for their open invitations.   They couldn't pass up taking a collection for the honeymoon at Cherin's wedding plus Lawson was hawking his CDs.   It's all about the grift, folks.  

I'm trying to figure out what leghumpers would bring as a gift to 2 homeskool grads who aren't college bound, as far as we know. (I do think there is a real chance that Carlin is PCC bound, based on past visits there). Would just they bring $$?  In that case Carlin & Trace could truly rake in thousands of dollars.

Other than $$t, what??  What do you give to a fundy teenager that you've never actually met?  Bible-quote tshirts?

[what the heck]

2 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I'm trying to figure out what leghumpers would bring as a gift to 2 homeskool grads who aren't college bound, as far as we know. (I do think there is a real chance that Carlin is PCC bound, based on past visits there). Would just they bring $$?  In that case Carlin & Trace could truly rake in thousands of dollars.

Other than $$t, what??  What do you give to a fundy teenager that you've never actually met?  Bible-quote tshirts?

A gift certificate to a Christian bookstore, visa gift card, coffee gift cards, etc. 

[nokidsmom]

Just now, HereticHick said:

I'm trying to figure out what leghumpers would bring as a gift to 2 homeskool grads who aren't college bound, as far as we know. (I do think there is a real chance that Carlin is PCC bound, based on past visits there). Would just they bring $$?  In that case Carlin & Trace could truly rake in thousands of dollars.

Other than $$t, what??  What do you give to a fundy teenager that you've never actually met?  Bible-quote tshirts?

Gift cards?   Stuff for a dorm room, in Carlin's case?  

Frankly, I think Kelly and Gil will take anything that leghumpers will throw at them.  Sure, they probably get some stuff they don't need because I can totally see some leghumper giving them a hand made item or something that isn't what they need or relevant to the occasion but I suspect for the most part they make out pretty well.  

[19 cats and counting]

4 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I'm trying to figure out what leghumpers would bring as a gift to 2 homeskool grads who aren't college bound, as far as we know. (I do think there is a real chance that Carlin is PCC bound, based on past visits there). Would just they bring $$?  In that case Carlin & Trace could truly rake in thousands of dollars.

Other than $$t, what??  What do you give to a fundy teenager that you've never actually met?  Bible-quote tshirts?

Secular media.  Books or movies that put doubt in their minds ;-)

[blessalessi]

40 minutes ago, what the heck said:

Here's something else to think about, if you go you could be putting yourself at risk bc of unstable fans. Yes this could be far fetched, but anything could happen!

I think it would be a close call to say who might be considered the most "unstable" guests in that scenario. 

[Palimpsest]

14 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I'm trying to figure out what leghumpers would bring as a gift to 2 homeskool grads who aren't college bound, as far as we know. (I do think there is a real chance that Carlin is PCC bound, based on past visits there). Would just they bring $$?  In that case Carlin & Trace could truly rake in thousands of dollars.

Other than $$t, what??  What do you give to a fundy teenager that you've never actually met?  Bible-quote tshirts?

I'm sure Jill Rodrigues is making them ugly little rag rugs.  Or rather, she's delegated the rug making to Nuri.

[nokidsmom]

6 minutes ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Secular media.  Books or movies that put doubt in their minds ;-)

I wouldn't be surprised if they get stuff like this all the time.   Remember that Winnie the Pooh is a totally new thing to Zach so the bar for acceptable books / media must be set pretty low.

[OyToTheVey]

I'm just now catching up. So my response is delayed like always.

 

Oh Lawson you ass. You wouldn't be saying those things if you saw your grandmother spend a year in bed just laying there. My grams developed dementia and by the end was practically a vegetable. Before that you could be in a room and she wouldn' know who you were, go to the bathroom, come back and she'd greet you as if she didn't see you that day at all. It was so painful for my mom. She was her primary caretaker. It's disheartening to see such a strong woman lay in bed with diapers on not knowing where she was. That's not life. As sad as it is, we were all relieved when she finally passed. She wasn't in pain anymore. 

[Honeysuckle]

22 hours ago, feministxtian said:

The married Bates kids have been out of the house for what? Three years max? They're still trying to figure out their own adult selves. We don't know what's in their heads or hearts at this time. If they're still firmly entrenched in the cult in 10 years, then yes, the criticism would be justified. Until then, it's a wait and see game. 

It seems like everyone keeps moving the goalposts. At first, it was "Leave the minor children alone. They don't choose this." Fine, we can all agree on that. I think we also agree that adult children still living in their parents' home should be given some consideration. But back then it was "Wait and see what happens when they get married." Well, they got married, and then it was "We won't really judge unless they bring children into these beliefs." And then they had babies, and suddenly it was "Well, I can totally tell that they're probably going to only have a couple. A lot of young married people have babies." And now we're supposed to wait another ten years while these people are bringing innocent children into the world and subjecting them to these cults? Ten years to instill in their kids the belief that they are right and the world is wrong, that girls are only good for laundry and babies, that they are sinners and their parents are doing them a favor by beating the sin out of them?

I'm done. I was done the second they started having babies to be steeped in these dangerous, harmful views. Ten years is a lifetime of pain, confusion, and sorrow for the kids that these adults are choosing to have, whether the adults are taking baby steps away from the cult or not.

[what the heck]

1 hour ago, blessalessi said:

I think it would be a close call to say who might be considered the most "unstable" guests in that scenario. 

True! It's not a contest I would want to win! There's also a fan who claimed that she was praying about marriage and then she found out about Nathan Bates and the 20th bates contest! 

[twinmama]

On 4/3/2016 at 0:25 PM, 19 cats and counting said:

I would not marry (or date) outside of my political beliefs.  (I've met the last 2 guys I dated at political events).   I don't know how James Carville and Mary Matalin do it because I could not.  The sex must be great.

Oh god I could not either. I can barely be friends with people whose views are too different. If their different beliefs were like how to handle financials, that's one thing but if they think my gay friends should not be married or adopt I just don't know how to handle that. To me it's like trying to be friends with a raging racist. No one thinks that's ok, it's also not ok to me to be friends with someone who thinks someone is lesser because they are gay.

[season of life]

Just now, twinmama said:

Oh god I could not either. I can barely be friends with people whose views are too different. If their different beliefs were like how to handle financials, that's one thing but if they think my gay friends should not be married or adopt I just don't know how to handle that. To me it's like trying to be friends with a raging racist. No one thinks that's ok, it's also not ok to me to be friends with someone who thinks someone is lesser because they are gay.

Same for me. I really try to be open, but it's so hard to form friendships with people who have no problem denying other people rights. I had to put a budding friendship with another theatre student to an end because he believed women shouldn't be in the military (like, not at all) and Christians should be allowed to deny LGBT people service.

[twinmama]

I have a bad enough time with my own brother and my father in law, who both have beliefs that align with the old republican party. They are both pro-gay rights and pro-choice, but still vote republican. It makes me SO MAD that they vote based on what they wish the party still was instead of what is ACTUALLY IS. They want small government, but it seems like they throw way too many things out the window in service of that.

And side note, I will never understand what is "small government" or get the gov't out of our lives about mandatory vaginal ultrasounds or deciding who you can marry. It doesn't get more government in my life than a VAGINAL ULTRASOUND.

[19 cats and counting]

6 minutes ago, twinmama said:

Oh god I could not either. I can barely be friends with people whose views are too different. If their different beliefs were like how to handle financials, that's one thing but if they think my gay friends should not be married or adopt I just don't know how to handle that. To me it's like trying to be friends with a raging racist. No one thinks that's ok, it's also not ok to me to be friends with someone who thinks someone is lesser because they are gay.

One of my good friends (who I met at a Democratic event) is now a Donald Trump Republican. I avoid talking politics with her as we have a lot else in common (both lost longtime friends last year, both crazy cat ladies) so we talk about that or Disney movies. 

Her conservative views are mostly about the refugees and welfare.  I'm not touching LGBT issues with a 10 foot pole with her.

But I could not have a significant other who's not on the same page as me politically.  Because politics is my career, it is much more important to me than it is to other (some view it the same way they view what they want on their pizza).  Luckily for me, most political events are male dominated.

[Dandruff]

4 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Gil and Kelly cannot pass up a chance to grift off their fans and humpers which I believe is the reason for their open invitations.   They couldn't pass up taking a collection for the honeymoon at Cherin's wedding plus Lawson was hawking his CDs.   It's all about the grift, folks.  

That, and I'm sure it'll be filmed.

And if they get gifts they don't want or need they can donate them and film that too.

[nokidsmom]

I can't imagine having a husband / SO who was not on the same page politically but I know that people can change over time.  So you can start out on the same page but not remain on it.   A ex-bf and Mr. No wannabe who was a Democrat back in the day is now super conservative die hard GOP.   I am way more left leaning than I was back then so I can see this would have been a problem had we married.  I do wonder how his uber Democrat dad takes it, if he's still around.

Had a very good friend who was super Republican, hated Bill Clinton with the fire of a thousand suns.   I did my best to avoid any political discussion with her but if she brought up political issues, I responded with neutral comments.  She was too much on a roll during these conversations to notice and luckily we had a more more things in common to talk about.  

8 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

That, and I'm sure it'll be filmed.

And if they get gifts they don't want or need they can donate them and film that too.

Plus there's always Ebay. 

[JesusCampSongs]

I think it's pretty easy to be friends/in a relationship with people who have opposing political views from yourself when you don't have a lot of (or any) skin in the game and the issues are more of a theoretical or philosophical discussion than the life that you wake up to every day. Like, if I were straight, I could be friends with homophobic people and "agree to disagree" because, at the end of the day, it's not my rights they're trying to take away, nor is it likely that they'll be inclined to commit some sort of hate crime against me. Since I'm not straight, all of the bullshit about LGBT people being promiscuous sexual predators who are out to ruin society and should therefore be relegated to second-class citizenship, if not locked up and/or killed starts to get very personal very quickly. 

And that applies to any issue, when you think about it.  

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, Honeysuckle said:

It seems like everyone keeps moving the goalposts. At first, it was "Leave the minor children alone. They don't choose this." Fine, we can all agree on that. I think we also agree that adult children still living in their parents' home should be given some consideration. But back then it was "Wait and see what happens when they get married." Well, they got married, and then it was "We won't really judge unless they bring children into these beliefs." And then they had babies, and suddenly it was "Well, I can totally tell that they're probably going to only have a couple. A lot of young married people have babies." And now we're supposed to wait another ten years while these people are bringing innocent children into the world and subjecting them to these cults? Ten years to instill in their kids the belief that they are right and the world is wrong, that girls are only good for laundry and babies, that they are sinners and their parents are doing them a favor by beating the sin out of them?

I'm done. I was done the second they started having babies to be steeped in these dangerous, harmful views. Ten years is a lifetime of pain, confusion, and sorrow for the kids that these adults are choosing to have, whether the adults are taking baby steps away from the cult or not.

Amen. I wsh I could like this comment a thousand times.