Jump to content
IGNORED

Bates Family Part 13: Like Lipstick on a Pig


Boogalou

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 565
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Lord, I love spelling mistakes.  

From a comment on Erin's Instagram picture of a quilt with all the grandkids names that a leghumper is giving Kelly:

 

Bates.JPG

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another edition of, "The Dinosaur Watches BUB: Killing Myself Slowly So You Don't Have To."

- The theme song and opening credits haunt my darkest nightmares. 

- Momma Jane and Poppa Bill are normal. Same with his siblings.... I don't know how to feel about this. 

- Kelly's voice still makes me want to cut my ears off and puncture my ear drums. And the more I see of Gil the more I want to punch him in the face. God he looks smug all the time!

- Brandon isn't creepy or anything; he's just a bit awkward and reserved. It stands out a lot because so many of the Bateses are outgoing. I recognize the symptoms because I live it every day.

- This Q&A session is SO FUCKING BORING!!!! Seriously, someone put me out of my goddamn misery?! Please?!

- I would sell my soul to have Michael or Alyssa's hair. 

- But seriously, who do I talk to about selling my soul for fantastic hair?

- Nice try guys, but I'm pretty sure that's NOT what you mean when you say training. 

- Do they own dogs? If so, #freethebatespups.

- Did they seriously blur a fully grown woman's bikini top? Rude much?

- For the love of God... PLEASE pick one way to pronounce Michael's name and stick with it! Ditto for spelling it! Poor woman must have the worst identity crisis on a daily basis. 

- Could someone please comfort those poor little kids on the monster truck? They look terrified and it's making me feel feelings.

- Dear Carlin, acting out moments from your dad's life is a fantastic idea! Can we start with the moment he concealed sexual assault? Or maybe reinact the part where he got served with papers relating to a certain lawsuit? Or maybe act out some of that blanket training? Or the time you're dad decided to quit a good job because Jesus?

- Nathan danced with his Grandma?! And the ground didn't swallow him up in fiery damnation immediately? Huh. Funny.

- That wrestling scene was awkward. I felt like I was watching Gil blanket train Lawson - not sure who I wanted to see lose more.

- Gil got blindfolded by Kelly. I'm kind of disappointed she didn't drive him out into the middle of nowhere and leave him there.

- I agree Gil. I have no clue how you got Kelly to marry you either.

- That guessing game was so disappointing. I was waiting for Bill Gothard to walk out and for things to get really awkward really fast. 

- Pretty sure my barely trained just turned 1 year old dog is better behaved then some of these kids. And that's saying something - she literally just jumped three feet into the air in order to steal her peanut butter Kong from the kitchen counter. And a few nights ago she jumped on me while I sat at the kitchen table and stole my coffee cake. She has no regrets.

- You know you have too many kids when.... You have that much trouble identifying which kid is which based off baby photos. 

- Pretty sure little Jeb is my spirit animal in those THs. No restraint, barely coherent, and doesn't give a single fuck. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

35 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Lord, I love spelling mistakes.  

From a comment on Erin's Instagram picture of a quilt with all the grandkids names that a leghumper is giving Kelly:

 

Bates.JPG

Well, they'll probably do that too.  The tissues are to clean up the quilt.

What?  Did I really say that? :brainbleach:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Well, they'll probably do that too.  The tissues are to clean up the quilt.

What?  Did I really say that? :brainbleach:

You just said what many of us were thinking. 

 

Yep, I know where I'm going for saying that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, missegeno said:

I'll be praying for you.

I almost spit my tea out over this. Well played ladies. Well played.

Still, deep dish is the Devil's food. :pb_lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Withagrainofsalt said:

These ice cream balls look really cool. 

You said balls!  And a pun, too!  :cool:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok so I watched the preview for next week's episode.  Looks like Nathan and Ashley are official.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, 19 cats and counting said:

Ok so I watched the preview for next week's episode.  Looks like Nathan and Ashley are official.

Yup - Nathan said something like, "It's time we start courtin', does anyone object?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Back to the PCC discussion, yes, PCC has gender-segregated sidewalks and elevators. I have visited campus a couple times because I know several people who studied or even graduated from there. I thought the elevators were a myth until I saw them myself. It's like you haven't seen crazy until you've seen elevators labeled Men and Women.

 

Another thing that disturbs me about PCC is the complete lack of privacy. None of the dorm rooms have locks and staff members can do checks on your room at any time. You have restrictions on personal items and they definitely hold you to them. I am a "good kid" who loves following rules and grew up in a large family where privacy was not valued, but I would not have cut it at PCC. I would lose my mind. 

 

A few visits is all the personal experience I have, but I thought I would chime in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Lord, I love spelling mistakes.  

From a comment on Erin's Instagram picture of a quilt with all the grandkids names that a leghumper is giving Kelly:

 

Bates.JPG

Wait. Is "bless your heart" ever used in a non-sarcastic/barely-concealed insult way? I am so confused by this comment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

Wait. Is "bless your heart" ever used in a non-sarcastic/barely-concealed insult way? I am so confused by this comment.

Yes. Bless your heart can both be used as many things. Congratulations like 'your moms finally gonna be a grandmother? Bless her heart!' Or as a scathing insult 'she thinks she can talk to me like that?! Bless Her Heart.' Or more neutral 'white after labor day? Bless her heart.'

Its used more nowadays as an insult but its okay because Jesus. 'Bless her soul' is also acceptable but more in condolences than positive or congratulatory. 

Here in Georgia, Savannah and Athens tends to be more 'old south' so you hear it more there than in Atlanta or the suburbs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

 

- I would sell my soul to have Michael or Alyssa's hair. 

- But seriously, who do I talk to about selling my soul for fantastic hair?

If I had to guess, Bill Gothard would be the guy to talk to. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

49 minutes ago, NotAnIncubator said:

Yes. Bless your heart can both be used as many things. Congratulations like 'your moms finally gonna be a grandmother? Bless her heart!' Or as a scathing insult 'she thinks she can talk to me like that?! Bless Her Heart.' Or more neutral 'white after labor day? Bless her heart.'

Its used more nowadays as an insult but its okay because Jesus. 'Bless her soul' is also acceptable but more in condolences than positive or congratulatory. 

Here in Georgia, Savannah and Athens tends to be more 'old south' so you hear it more there than in Atlanta or the suburbs.

Interesting. Thanks for explaining. I've never heard it used as anything but an insult before, LOL (but then I've never really been in the Deep South).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They make a very good looking couple, the two of them. I wonder where they are going to live, or if they are going to become missionaries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, NeverQuivered said:

If I had to guess, Bill Gothard would be the guy to talk to. 

....

Is it bad I would rather speak with the actual Devil? I mean, he's ruler of Hell and everything... But at least my feet would be left alone.

(And it's times like this I really miss the throwing up smiley thing.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

....

Is it bad I would rather speak with the actual Devil? I mean, he's ruler of Hell and everything... But at least my feet would be left alone.

(And it's times like this I really miss the throwing up smiley thing.)

Ya know, I was thinking the same thing. I would feel less dirty talking to Lucifer himself. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder about their wedding.  Traditionally the wedding is in the bride's home church and NY style weddings and Bates style weddings (judging from the first 4) are not the same.

(I grew up 1/2 hour from the Bronx).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • samurai_sarah locked this topic

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.