Jana Duggar: Courting or hype?

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

This picture came from what claims to be John David's Twitter account.  He has some comment about how time has passed and mentions Jana.  I assumed it was a pic of Jana and him.  I thought people might enjoy seeing it on this thread. And it lets me practice uploading pictures.

Darn...these could be my kids.

Here's a photo of mine from 25 years ago....

[Jingerbread]

9 hours ago, ksgranola1 said:

I cannot for the life of me see how JB approved Ben to court Jessa. He was so very much the HS freshman.

I think Ben driving with his family all those hours to track down Jessa after seeing her on TV is scary.  If someone drove hours to find my daughter, for any reason, I wouldn't say "here, marry her."  I'd be calling the police!

[Cleopatra7]

7 minutes ago, Jingerbread said:

I think Ben driving with his family all those hours to track down Jessa after seeing her on TV is scary.  If someone drove hours to find my daughter, for any reason, I wouldn't say "here, marry her."  I'd be calling the police!

Wasn't Ben's family involved with VF in some way? That was probably a good icebreaker and enough to convince JB that he wasn't a creeper. Plus, it seems like the main things JB looks for in a potential son in law is a "good testimony" and the willingness to be assimilated into the Duggar-Borg. This means that any guy with a good work ethic or independent ideas will be turned off, since they won't want to whore themselves out on TV or live on a compound with 30+ people, and leaves gospel bums like Derick or Ben, the would be Justin Bieber of the Reformed rap world.

[Jingerbread]

9 hours ago, bashfulpixie said:

@Jingerbread Not gonna lie- I'm super curious as to who your friend is dating!!  LOL.  As for the rest of it, I agree with you- most people wouldn't be willing to completely give up their privacy and have their lives run by a TV network.  Especially in their case, where you don't really get to know someone until after you're married.

It really is a privacy issue, which is why I don't even hint.  I love them, and won't let the cat that isn't mine out of the bag that isn't mine.  I just used them as a real-life example of how unilateral fame affects relationships and what people can do and even if a relationship starts.  Their really real reason for not getting officially married is privacy for my friend and for her daughter.  They don't want to be shoved in the media light and have a small child followed by cameras.  Boyfriend chose it, she didn't, little kid didn't.  Keeping her and her daughter out of the camera's view is hard on them.  It would be harder, and probably a relationship-breaker, if he was on a weekly TV show and a couple months ago, it almost ended because it's hard.  This is why celebrities usually date other celebrities.  It's hard finding a partner who either isn't in it for the brag rights, or who is a decent and good person who will give up their anonymity to have everything they do picked apart (like George Clooney's wife).  It sounds like fun and games dating a rich, hot guy.  But is it fun when you can't even go to the grocery store or move stuff to a friend's house without the media saying you're wrong or speculating about a break-up or connecting the person you love to another celebrity who is just a friend, and then going to the market and seeing tabloids with more lies about the person you love and having to keep a physical distance when movies have to be promoted so the cameras don't see you and publish you for the internet to track down and pick apart and jealous fangirls to rip apart for being too fat, too skinny, too something?

When your dating pool is as small as it is for fundies, it's going to be tremendously hard finding that good and decent person who will give up their own lives on the chance that a relationship turns serious.  Ben and Derrek wanted fame, and look how well that's working out.  They're laughing stocks!  If a man wants a real family and real home with Jana, he's not going to get it.  I think most of all the good men will stay away.  It's really a sign of weakness to step into a husband role and be okay with someone else running the show for you.  You're not  a husband.  You're a fuckboy prop.

What I can picture happening is a sweet guy somewhat interested in Jana, but not yet emotionally invested, looking at the situation, seeing how he wouldn't get the be the head of household, or even co-head, because his in-laws would be running the show literally.  If he doesn't have kids fast, his fertility will be talked about.  If he gets a job and wants to move away from the compound, he has to check with Dad #2 who has more power now than Dad #1.  He wouldn't get to be an adult.  How your home is decorated, every time you're sick, the car you drive, everything will be public.  If a man isn't emotionally invested already, how many are going to be willing for at least try to court when they know what they'll be giving up if it leads to marriage?  It's early enough that it's a lot easier to cut loose and run.  (My friend was friends with the guy she's with for a few years, and it happened slowly, which is very different than it happens for fundies where even being friendly with someone of the opposite sex means you have to start thinking about marriage right away.)

[Jingerbread]

7 hours ago, Defrauding Feminist ESQ said:

But Jana may truly feel that it's the only option, and I think that feeling is totally valid.  She has seen how Michelle's sister has been shunned for being a lesbian.  She likely loves her family, and may not be able to imagine being shunned for leaving the Gothard lifestyle.  Obviously we all have choices, but she may not truly view leaving as a "choice"

It's called a Hobson Choice.  There's an illusion of choice, but the penalty for taking one can be massive.  A woman with kids who leaves the flock can take her kids.  Jana has no legal right to the kids she raises.  If she leaves, she's out.  She loses every single thing.  Jill-Rod has choices.  Some are hard.  But Jana would lose everything.  She has no viable alternatives.

[Hera]

Amy isn't shunned, though. Neither is her mom, right?  I feel like as long as Grandma Mary was alive, and of the J kids who left wouldn't be wholly cut off from the family.  She'd be guilted horribly, harassed constantly, and cut off financially, for sure, but I don't think Jana would never see her siblings again if she decided to go fundie lite or even mainstream super conservative. It would be in JB's terms, for sure, but that might beat living your entire life on his terms.  I would think the total inability to support herself would be the biggest reason Jana would stay.

[Jingerbread]

37 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Wasn't Ben's family involved with VF in some way? That was probably a good icebreaker and enough to convince JB that he wasn't a creeper. Plus, it seems like the main things JB looks for in a potential son in law is a "good testimony" and the willingness to be assimilated into the Duggar-Borg. This means that any guy with a good work ethic or independent ideas will be turned off, since they won't want to whore themselves out on TV or live on a compound with 30+ people, and leaves gospel bums like Derick or Ben, the would be Justin Bieber of the Reformed rap world.

VF or not, driving a bunch of hours to track down a girl you saw on TV is creepy.  Couldn't he have planned a "weekend trip" to their area, and just happened to go to their church?  Less creepy.

[Hera]

I'm not even sure how far she could get trying to get educated or trained got anything without financial help or at least a co-signer for a loan.

[Jingerbread]

3 minutes ago, Hera said:

Amy isn't shunned, though. Neither is her mom, right?  I feel like as long as Grandma Mary was alive, and of the J kids who left wouldn't be wholly cut off from the family.  She'd be guilted horribly, harassed constantly, and cut off financially, for sure, but I don't think Jana would never see her siblings again if she decided to go fundie lite or even mainstream super conservative. It would be in JB's terms, for sure, but that might beat living your entire life on his terms.  I would think the total inability to support herself would be the biggest reason Jana would stay.

Amy is the most mainstream of the clan.  I think they know they need her.  They made an appearance at her wedding, and left fast.  I think she's getting used, but since she's benefiting, she's putting up with it.  Symbiosis.

[Cleopatra7]

2 minutes ago, Jingerbread said:

VF or not, driving a bunch of hours to track down a girl you saw on TV is creepy.  Couldn't he have planned a "weekend trip" to their area, and just happened to go to their church?  Less creepy.

Meeting someone at church is logical, but don't the Duggars still living at the TTH do the super secret-by invite only - family integrated home church thing? The J'slaves don't have very many opportunities to met guys because they don't have real social lives, and are prohibited from spending too much time around non-related males. As depressing and scary as it sounds, creepy fans/leghumpers are probably the best way to meet a potential husband. Given what poor quality husbands Derick and Ben are, I'm almost afraid to see who else might be lurking in the background as the next "Mr. Duggar" (because any potential partner for a J'girl will join the Duggars and not the other way around).

[quiverofdoubt]

10 hours ago, CoveredInBees said:

I'd like to see her living independently, working outside the family home. What's the point of not marrying (based on their view of marriage = babies) if all that means is she's stuck at home raising her siblings?

It annoys me that we find ourselves, on here, hoping she is courting as if it's her only escape, when there ARE other options for her. Courting is by far the easiest way as the parents won't object, but it is not the only option.  

 

This is kind of how I feel about the kids being stuck.  Is there a way out? sure. Is it apparent to everyone outside the family? Yes. But while stuck inside they can't see it. they only see the barriers in their way, the ones jb and michelle have been carefully building for decades now.

[Coconut Flan]

People in the Duggar warehouse church reported it folded in the spring.  It was timely with the Josh revelations, but the official reason was the Duggar travel schedule.

[Jingerbread]

34 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Meeting someone at church is logical, but don't the Duggars still living at the TTH do the super secret-by invite only - family integrated home church thing? 

The way I understand it is their church isn't really a homechurch, but even assholes don't go crashing fundy church services.  So they had not-really-private services that anyone could attend, and so it was easy for Ben to get in. Meeting at church if logical when both people are members of the church.  It's not logical when someone drives several hours to track someone down at her church because he saw her on TV and was turned on.

[EmCatlyn]

4 hours ago, Dugg@rTime said:

I really doubt it's JD's Twitter account.

The photos of JD and Jana as toddlers have been taken from TLC somewhere, as can be seen by the logo in the bottom right of the pic and there's also some text which seems to be an ad for some forthcoming program. Why would JD have to/want to do that?

Photos probably taken from here or a similar site: http://duggarfansacrosstheworld.weebly.com/home/happy-24th-birthday-jana-and-john-david

 

Thanks.  I am reassured that I didn't post some strange kids' pictures.  

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

People in the Duggar warehouse church reported it folded in the spring.  It was timely with the Josh revelations, but the official reason was the Duggar travel schedule.

travel schedule - translation traveling back and forth to Rockford, IL and the other families in the warehouse church traveling to other churches to get away from the duggar sin*.

(*I don't believe this but since many in their circle believe in sin of the father, then it wouldn't be a long stretch to have a sin of the family.)

[EmCatlyn]

@SassyPants Both your kids have gorgeous eyes (in Jana's pic, hers are rather small) and the chins are different, so I don't think there is more similarity than the age and coloring.  

Both sets also have that sweet sibling look-- though your kids look better cared for.  I guess before Jana became a sister mom, Michelle had to do all the childcare herself.

[SassyPants]

30 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

@SassyPants Both your kids have gorgeous eyes (in Jana's pic, hers are rather small) and the chins are different, so I don't think there is more similarity than the age and coloring.  

Both sets also have that sweet sibling look-- though your kids look better cared for.  I guess before Jana became a sister mom, Michelle had to do all the childcare herself.

If I put up a toddler photo of my son, he is a dead ringer for JD in that photo, although at 26 (JD) and 25.5 (my son), they do not favor one another.

I was thinking that my kids probably got a lot more individual attention as by the time time JD and Jana were that age, Michelle was probably PG with Jessa- and there were 2 others in tow as well.

Our kids never outnumbered us.

Sad really, what JB's and M's choices did to their kids.

[bashfulpixie]

@Jingerbread I'm sorry, I would never, ever expect you to compromise your friend's privacy! I was just making a general statement because I can be nosy at times.  Lol.  I can't imagine how hard it would have to be to have the public analyze my every move.  Sounds like they're very conscientious to prevent that, and good for them for thwarting it thus far.

As for Jana, I agree with the people who say that anyone who isn't in it for the fame or the cash is going to be hard to come by, since they're going to have to be OK with the cameras.  It's much more likely that she ends up with a Ben/Derrick Pt 2 rather than a Chad Paine Pt 2.  And that's sad. 

[AnnaRuk09]

55 minutes ago, bashfulpixie said:

As for Jana, I agree with the people who say that anyone who isn't in it for the fame or the cash is going to be hard to come by, since they're going to have to be OK with the cameras.  It's much more likely that she ends up with a Ben/Derrick Pt 2 rather than a Chad Paine Pt 2.  And that's sad. 

I don't know, but IMO I have some serious doubts about that. Jana has always seemed like she doesn't lovebeing on camera. From seeing the recent episodes, I don't think she entirely hates it but I see her as being the Duggar to go private, especially once she gets married (that is if she marries someone as private and quiet like her).

[QuiverDance]

18 hours ago, DuggarWatch said:

John David already has his own life.  Before he was with Sarah, he was with Laura DeMasie.  Plus, he gets to fly the family airplanes anywhere he wants and be active in the community as a constable  He is really the most free of all of the kids.

His big problem is that he looks middle-aged and he is only 26.  He can't even seem to stand up straight.  I think the lack of sports when the kids were growing up and a disgusting diet takes its toll.  He doesn't look healthy at all.

But, he does seem like a nice guy and seems to really care about his siblings. Since the downfall of Josh, I think he would take over as head of the clan and take care of his mom and the kids if something happened to Jim Bob.  That said, I hope he finds someone who wasn't homeschooled in the Gothard tradition and just has three or four kids of his own. 

How do you know this?  I'd love for it to be fact.  Do you have some inside information?

[Kira]

1. I think a couple of the kids could be courting. JD and Sarah Reith or Laura D? Andrew Hubert, Andrew Patton and Logan Smith could be potential suitors for Jinger or Jana. Andrew Hubert made his IG private after FJ/tumblr posted photos of him with Jinger and Jana. Joe and Carlin? Are Josiah and Majorie back together?

2. IMO, Derick and Ben aren't bad husbands. I think they got sucked into the DuggarTLC borg.  When we met Derick he said he would love to do missionary work with Jill. Now that he is being paid by TLC, the Dillards have time to do missionary work. He doesn't need a "real job" at the moment.(I'm still not sure about what happened with Wal Mart. I do think Derick will get a job when the Dillards return to the US) Ben quit his job to work for JB   TLC. He finished his degree and graduated  with honors. He says he hopes to go to seminary school this year. What makes Derick and Ben bad husbands?

 

 

[AnnaRuk09]

21 minutes ago, Kira said:

1. I think a couple of the kids could be courting. JD and Sarah Reith or Laura D? Andrew Hubert, Andrew Patton and Logan Smith could be potential suitors for Jinger or Jana. Andrew Hubert made his IG private after FJ/tumblr posted photos of him with Jinger and Jana. Joe and Carlin? Are Josiah and Majorie back together?

Where is that picture? Logan Smith is around 20 years old. How old is Andrew?

[season of life]

Derick had a job at Walmart, which was secure and came with benefits. He quit so he and his wife could force their religion on others and post Instagram pics of them sitting around. He is now getting paid to parade his life/child on TV, just like Ben. These two men chose to depend on a morally corrupt channel for their income instead of finding actual work. Then they want to complain that they are poor, persecuted human beings. Please.

[Kira]

.

49 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Where is that picture? Logan Smith is around 20 years old. How old is Andrew?

I can't find them now, but I think there was a photo of Hubert, his sister and either Jinger or Jana(both?) at a rodeo. I don't know Adrew Patton's age. 

Here's a discussion of Andrew Hubert:

 

[season of life]

1 minute ago, Kira said:

Being on reality tv makes you a bad husband? Why do they have to find "actual work"? Derick said he wanted to be a missionary when he met Jill and FJ was so happy("take Jill away from the TTH").

Nowhere in my statement did I call Derick and Ben bad husbands. I don't care who you are, there is something ethically wrong to me about sacrificing your children's privacy on "reality" TV.

The Duggars, including Derick and Ben, do not deserve any sort of publicity or a TV show. They have covered up molestation and blamed "liberal media" for all their problems all the while grabbing any opportunity for attention. Derick took Jill away from the TTH physically, but they are still under JB's thumb. I find this family to be arrogant, lazy, and hypocritical.