Bates Family Part 9

[colors_outside15]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

1. I sincerely hope that Erin has a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery. As much as I wish they had waited, it's their decision to make. I can only hope for the best possible outcome for the family.

2. I'm in no way surprised by any of this at all. They're deeply involved with IBLP - it was only a matter of time before they conceived again and with Erin's fertility it was going to happen much sooner rather than later. 

3. To the poster asking about what Chad's dad might be thinking - I doubt that man thinks much at all. I mean, this is the man that helped conceal sexual abuse and told a sexual abuse victim to go eat a protein bar to deal with her anxiety rather than actually help her. He's probably thrilled that God has blessed his son and daughter-in-law so soon after Carson's birth; and I doubt any of their family members are privately overly concerned about Erin either. Because God or something. 

In my opinion, despite all the talk about how much better the Bates parents are than the Duggars, neither set of parents care enough about their "prized" 19 children. Erin cites her mom as being one of her best friends. All I can think about now is how glad I am that I got away from people who cared nothing about my physical/mental/psychological/spiritual well being and learned how to actually take care of myself. Now, I have best friends who actually would give a shit if I did something that put me at risk for dying.

Chad's dad had his vasectomy reversed (because God) if I remember correctly, but did have a successful career for a good stretch of time before joining ranks with Gothard. I think Chad was among the older children who would remember the difference between his life with his dad as a doctor and his life with his dad on the IBLP board. I never had hope for Cherin to get out of the cult, but I did have hope that Chad would do something to safeguard Erin. He seems to deeply treasure her and as a "headship" with some degree of medical understanding, just ... ERG! (insert head banging moving emoticon followed by a vomiting one, which I still don't know how to do on here) ...

[doubleT]

Well drats.  I was really, really hoping that Chad and Erin would have waited longer.  But maybe this really was a surprise.  They do happen.     

I sure hope her pregnancy goes well and that when it comes time for the birth, that it is successful too. 

[imokit]

Maybe they're taking a risk and trying to overwhelm the uterus, so on one of C sections, she needs a hysterectomy to save her life.

Its stupid and risky, but a life saving hysterectomy to prevent life threatening bleeding from C section (a rare but real issue), may be the way to go with them and birth control.

(trying and really really failing to find the silver lining, and fully aware that that's not one and is a black lining if anything)

[MissBitters]

As much as I am disappointed by the pregnancy, I would never wish a hysterectomy on Erin. That is a major surgery with its own set of potential complications,not to mention the effect it could have on Erin's mental well-being.

[twinmama]

6 hours ago, ljohnson2006 said:

Erin... Think about the child(ren) you'll leave behind if something happens to you. Not every woman is made to have a dozen babies. Be happy and thankful for what you have. Stop testing God.

While it is very soon to be pregnant again, I really don't think we can say she's being crazy reckless with her health to have a second child. If she keeps going, 4+ babies all this close together, sure. But if I had my shit storm of prematurity/preeclampsia/HELLP and only had a singleton, I would have most likely tried again as I wanted more than one child. I had twins thankfully and this baby factory is shut down after one production.

[SassyPants]

Too bad that the children that are already born do not seemingly matter as much as the NEXT child.

Hope all goes well for them.

[bal maiden]

Poor Erin, I bet she (and Chad) are terrified, but she probably can't even let herself think 'holy shit I'm scared' because that would not be trusting in jeebus enough. 

[HermioneSparrow]

Let's not kid ourselves, shall we?

They are quiverfull, they're not having two or three kids in quick sucession to suddenly stop, that's not in their beliefs... I know we hope and hope but so far it's not gonna happen.

[felinefundie]

My goodness. These fundies stress me the heck out! Guess what, Erin? God wants you alive and healthy more than He wants you to bear eleventy children! Why is that so difficult for these people to understand? It's like, yeah, you can talk about leaving it all in God's hands as much as you want, but God gave you agency and a brain to use for a reason. 

I know these sentiments have been expressed countless times before, but I am just so frustrated right now. 

[luv2laugh]

I'm so disappointed they didn't at least wait one full year.... Here we all thought Jill was the one with the super fertility. Erin is rivalling Sierra and Michelle fertility now. When did Erin get pregnant? 4 months post partum???!!!!!

[kneelength]

I'm so disappointed.  I was really hoping they'd be smarter than this.  Very afraid she's gonna die if they keep this up.  

[formergothardite]

4 hours ago, vienna said:

My overall Impression of them from reading Kelly´s (not longer existing) Blog and watching the Show. I am not saying they are intellectuals, just not as dumb as the duggar. From a menatal point of view they seem waaay healither to me in the was they act with each other. They share the same believes but seem to be able to think for themselves and e.g. adapt their believe when Erin is having serious medical conditions with pregnany. The also stood up agains Gothars teaching against Adoption (since Kelly has an adopted sister). Erine saied the Family acted "shocked" when they announced the pregancy witch seem also like a healthy reaction given the circumstances. While the Duggar Kids seem to me like victims of a dictator, the Bates are religious but healthy. They make sure the courting couples can talk alone with each other (of course beeing watch but from a distance) and I am not saying it all good, just to me way better than the Duggar. The Duggars are fundies and have mentalpProblems and a lot of additional things to dislike, the Bates are just fundies, but in general quite nice.

The Bates are smarter in that they can hide the crazy better, not that they are wiser when it comes to something like preventing babies when it could endanger the life of the mother. 

They haven't "stood up against Gothard's teachings" in the tiniest bit. Adoption is pretty common in ATI/IBLP now. 

I'm always shocked when people who read here actually buy into the lies Gil and Kelly are selling. The only thing that shocks me about the pregnancy announcement was that people are shocked. They have not shown a tiny bit that they have given up their beliefs, so why is it shocking she got pregnant fast? 

[twinmama]

6 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

I'm so disappointed they didn't at least wait one full year.... Here we all thought Jill was the one with the super fertility. Erin is rivalling Sierra and Michelle fertility now. When did Erin get pregnant? 4 months post partum???!!!!!

Even without her health issues I'm tired just imagining being pregnant while taking care of a 4 month old! Cripes. Knocked up during the sleep regression. I probably would have fallen asleep and forgotten to feed my 4 month olds had I been pregnant then.

[kjmackin]

Well there goes my hope that Erin might have took more precautions. I guess I thought that Jill would have been announcing #2 before Erin but I wonder if this means that Jill might actually understand what at risk with getting pregnant again.

 

My one concern with Erin being pregnant again is if she might end up being a maytr. This cult put pressure on the women to be pregnant as often as they can. We know Erin has have multiple pregnancies but only one was to term and that one was with a horrible birthing experience that almost costed her her life as will as her child. I feel that if they made this announcement public then they must feel that she will bring it to term. If they are both willing to keeping getting her pregnant then chances are she is going to die for their supposed cause which in that cult would make her a maytr. Maybe it's this pregnancy or the next or five down the line but I wouldn't be surprise to read about her death.

The other thing if she did die it would also serve as a warning of how dangerous the quiverfull movement is.

I just want to put this out there I'm not wishing her or her family any bad luck their way but I don't think her repeatedly getting pregnant will end good. 

[justmy2cents]

Oy.....Everything has been said by now.  I know their beliefs and yet I still hoped they might find a way to delay that wouldn't go against everything they've been taught.  At this point all I can say is I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and birth. Hope they wise up before it's too late. 

[MissBitters]

Getting pregnant at four months or earlier postpartum is not uncommon. After giving birth, my nurse midwife kept emphasizing the importance of using some form of birth control since she had had patients show up pregnant at their 6 weeks postpartum appointment. Of course, it's also advised to not engage in sex until 6-8 weeks after birth, but it sounds like quite a few people ignore that rule. Look at Tori Spelling.

I am not defending Erin's pregnancy. I just think there is a strong possibility it was unplanned.

[Mrs Ms]

On 12 February 2016 at 0:13 AM, formergothardite said:

So basically just the little girls were told that their only options in life were marriage or staying home with daddy? I'm sure they tried to play it off as cute, but knowing their beliefs, it is really icky. Gil is just another Jim Bob without Ken hair. 

Thanks formergothardite for the observation! The fact that Gil and Kelly look more like people from this century than overdone dolls from the 80s like Jim Bob and Michelle has GOT to help make them more palatable 

[purple_summer]

Spoiler

I know I shouldn't be surprised but man I hoped they would wait another year.

[infooverload]

I can't say I am surprised. I remember asking Kelly if she would encourage her kids to keep having kids if it was found out there could be significant health problems for the children born. I know of one genetic condition which has a 50% chance of being passes from the carrier to the child with each pregnancy. The condition can cause seizures, autism, heart defects and a slew of problems. Kelly's response was we would encourage the couple to trust God with family planning. Knowing this I think they are following what they know and believe. After all beliefs, like emotions can be influenced, manipulated and abused.

I want to believe as many true things and as few false things as possible

[PracticeMakesProgress]

14 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I once had to suppress laughter when I went to a very jingoistic Fourth of July celebration. I had only heard that PROUD TO BE AN AMURRICAN FREEDOM AIN'T FREE rhetoric in satirical work like South Park or done very, very ironically/sarcastically (for context, I come from the Northeast, grew up in a very liberal family with strong cultural/familial connections to Europe, and went to a very left-wing liberal arts college where even the more conservative people I was friends with espoused jingoistic sentiments for irony or humor). I always think of it as funny and over-the-top, and it was so weird to me to see people who were expressing all that with complete sincerity.

Hey, if you don't like muh kountree, u can get da hell ooooooouuuuuut 

I grew up in the geographical and cultural opposite of what you described, however, my familial brand of fundie light-ness espoused a strict "render to Caesar what is Caesar's" mentality, meaning, respect and abide the laws of your country, but distinguish oneself from earthly kingdoms...adult me translates that as church does not equal state, and I have never understood why fundies and evangelicals have been so hard up to mix the two, other than it takes less thinking power? I don't know...maybe it's the mindset that if we force by law people to be just like us, it will make handing out tracts at Halloween a lot easier? 

Love the username, btw. I tend to structure my meals of the day as hobbits would....

 

[PracticeMakesProgress]

Oh man, I just went back and caught up on Cherin news. Yikes.

Agreed with previous sentiments, wish them the best, but seriously, read a damn OB/GYN article or health pamphlet or something. 18 months is the minimum recommended spacing for HEALTHY pregnancies. You are really playing Russian roulette, guys. Just because they make magic shots for you to fill the quiver doesn't mean everything is OK and zero risk. Gah, I feel disappointed and happy? I guess? WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH ANYWAY? 

[luxfilia]

On 2/16/2016 at 3:49 AM, Pretzel said:

Somebody commented on Erin's instagram that their couch looked tacky because it has a slipcover. Since when are slipcovers tacky?

I have a slipcover on my couch and still think slipcovers are, if not tacky, certainly not ideal. They're definitely efficient for cleaning, etc., but even the most beautifully tailored ones make me wonder what atrocity may be hiding underneath. 

[Dandruff]

Wonder how Dr. Vick feels about this development.  He seems pretty fundie, but I doubt that his advice to the couple advocated another pregnancy this soon.

I feel kind of bad for Carson.  He had no choice in this situation (vs. his parents who could at least choose to have no choice), and is now sharing his mom's attention with what must be a very scary, high-risk pregnancy. 

To the medical folks:  Will the meds Erin needs to take to sustain her pregnancy affect her ability to nurse Carson?  And how difficult is it to meet caloric requirements for both a nursing infant and growing fetus?

 

[Ursula]

I'm curious as to why this isn't allowed to be its own topic and JillyO's was merged into the general Bates thread?  I totally understand and agree that the Bates don't need their own subforum like the Duggars have, but the Helpmeets flat out said having multiple Bates family related topics was fine when big news broke and this is pretty big news....well, not a fundy wife getting knocked up, but this particular fundy wife, yeah.  For Zach and Whitney, healthy pregnancy and delivery, announced when first sprog was 14 months, kids will be 20 months apart in age, standard and boring, doesn't need its own topic.

ERIN, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAS A VERY REAL CHANCE OF DYING DURING HER UPCOMING LABOUR.

My response up reading this news was "what the FUCK?" actually said out loud to my empty room.  Though formergothardite is correct in that the only shocking thing about this news is that it's actually shocking to us.  Erin is clearly able to get pregnant very, VERY easily.  Staying pregnant is her problem.  I hope she gets used to those awful shots because it seems like she'll be taking them for a very, very, veryyyy long time, with potentially 20 more years of fertile-ness left in her body.  IF SHE SURVIVES THAT FUCKING LONG.

I am actually angry about this more than anything.  I guess the idea of leaving a 16 month old (so young he'll never even remember her) motherless pisses me off more than I thought it would.  I hope for a healthy as possible pregnancy and delivery for her, of course, and then, I dunno, maybe send them a year's supply of condoms from Amazon because IF they were doing something to prevent it obviously didn't work.

It's funny...when Up was teasing "fourth grandbaby on the way, guess the couple" I was firmly in the Alyssa camp based on the food baby she was gestating during the Christmas holidays.  Then I had Girl Michael as my second guess because it had been more than long enough since her wedding .  It turned out to be Whitney, which hey, makes sense based on the age of her first, made sense.  After Alyssa's post-holiday-definitely-not-preggo Instagram pics I figured Girl Michael would be next to announce, then Alyssa maybe this summer, THEN *MAYBE* Erin in the fall or winter.  But, now I think, if all goes well with this pregnancy and birth (as well as it can with her condition), she'll be having a fall 2017 baby, Winter 2018/early 2019 baby, spring 2020 baby, and so on.  Siiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, if what their announcement video said is true, they JUST announced to their family on Valentine's (or the 13th when they celebrated "I love you day" but same dif) so it's very recent news to them as well, UpTV must not have had time to plan any sort of big reveal.  The next "big thing" they plan to announce is the sex of Whitney's fetus either this Thursday or the next so I don't think their show producers even knew until yesterday or earlier today and they had no time to plan any "big news coming soon" type thing.  I wonder if the producers are pissed about that and they'll insist the family keep quite about these things from now on until the network gets to break the news as this family is now UpTV's bitch, like the Duggars are TLC's.

[singsingsing]

17 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Wonder how Dr. Vick feels about this development.  He seems pretty fundie, but I doubt that his advice to the couple advocated another pregnancy this soon.

I feel kind of bad for Carson.  He had no choice in this situation (vs. his parents who could at least choose to have no choice), and is now sharing his mom's attention with what must be a very scary, high-risk pregnancy. 

To the medical folks:  Will the meds Erin needs to take to sustain her pregnancy affect her ability to nurse Carson?  And how difficult is it to meet caloric requirements for both a nursing infant and growing fetus?

 

Carson's 9 months old, right? Plenty of babies are already weaned by that age.