Stories

[Jingerbread]

Something fun is to see what absurd porn you can find.  It's not arousing.  It's just funny.  RedTube has a Smurf porn where they're whistling the theme song while banging Smurfette.  This stuff is just really funny.

1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

Good point.  Like so many other things involving St. Paddy's Day the term Irish is probably the only Irish thing about the porn.

Probably as Irish as my Bailey's Irish Cream.

[47of74]

30 minutes ago, Jingerbread said:

Something fun is to see what absurd porn you can find.  It's not arousing.  It's just funny.  RedTube has a Smurf porn where they're whistling the theme song while banging Smurfette.  This stuff is just really funny.

Mean these Smurfs?

 

 

 

[47of74]

Fuck.

stltoday.com/news/villanova-back-into-sweet-with---rout-of-iowa/article_66f791e3-91f0-5350-9c64-77e371a9439c.html

Quote

Josh Hart scored 19 points and second-seeded Villanova advanced to the Sweet 16 for the first time since 2009 with an 87-68 rout of seventh-seeded Iowa on Sunday in the South Regional.

Villanova's senior class, led by Ryan Arcidiacono and Daniel Ochefu, made it to the tournament's second weekend for the first time. They were upset in the round of 32 the last two seasons and didn't make it that far as freshmen.

The Wildcats (31-5) will meet third-seeded Miami on Thursday in Louisville, Kentucky.

There was no doubt in this one. Villanova led 54-29 at halftime and by as many as 34 points in the second half. The closest Iowa (22-11) got was 16 points in the final minutes.

 

[47of74]

And here's the Game of Thrones theme sung by a cat...

My sister and brother in law got a kick out of it.

I used audio highjack to take the audio from this and make it into a ringtone that I now use for when my sister calls.

[47of74]

Yeah that ought to sting one's ring....

 

I wonder if it's good enough for the Australian men who use Sandy toilet paper.

 

[47of74]

The web site Dose.com published a list of 23 sex questions that people have actually had the nerve to ask on Yahoo Answers....

dose.com/style/27886/23-WTF-Sex-Questions-People-Actually-Had-The-Nerve-To-Ask-Online

For example...

Or there was this one too....

Uh....I don't know....ouch?

 

 

[Petrel]

Yahoo Answers is full of trolls and clueless people.  I sometimes go answer questions there.  I think most of those questions are people trolling.

 

[unsafetydancer]

Pretty sure most of these are trolls, or at least I hope they are.

[Jesse911]

There's been a lot threads about sex and porn articles on here lately lol. They are usually kind of interesting I guess though 

[FrumperSeamstress]

The cucumber one.....

[EyeQueue]

I would call troll on several of these (the cucumber story is just bizarre).

Although I did read in The Straight Dope many years ago a mind-boggling list of rectal foreign bodies (things people have shoved up their rear ends), which included some bizarre items such as a 6' x 5' tool box (with tools inside), a Mrs. Butterworth's Bottle (!!!), turnips, and ice picks (but no gerbils). 

[47of74]

I was telling someone about the 23 sex questions on Yahoo Answers and he told me about the How Do I Get Herculiner Off of My Hootus?! thread that was originally posted back in 2000 and had about 15 pages of replies...

explorerforum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18595

Yes and a Hootus is exactly what you think it is. 

[polecat]

Sex ed, people. And maybe some basic anatomy. No, you cannot poop through your penis.

[FundieFarmer]

Oh, wow that was glorious. Loved the cucumber one but also hated it so much hahaha

[catlady]

oh, the cucumber.....

for a lot of years, i spent weekends cleaning hotel rooms; oh, the stuff people leave behind!  and that narrow gap between the bed and the wall....it's a black hole for undies and condom wrappers (i can gratefully say just the wrappers).  

this one Sunday morning, i looked under the bed to check for soda cans and the like, and what do i find but a *huge* cucumber!!!  like zucchini size.  i didn't know whether it was used in such a manner, but i still doubled the rubber gloves and triple-bagged it.

[16strong]

Yes, some of these are trolls, but if you don't think that at least half of them are real, you've never spent an appreciable time over at Yahoo. A smart bunch, they are not.

[47of74]

Apparently the Almighty is taking a break from Florida;

thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/god-apparently-hates-walmart-381924

Quote

A South Carolina woman who last night crashed her car into a Walmart told police that God told her to do it, adding that the rapture was nigh.

According to police, Crystal Marshall, 34, intentionally drove her 2007 Ford Focus into the Walmart in Camden, a city 35 miles east of Columbia. Surveillance footage shows Marshall driving in the parking lot before she turned and plowed “directly into the building.”

When officers arrived on the scene around 8:30 PM, Marshall was standing in the middle of a crowd “screaming and causing a disturbance.”

Asked what happened, Marshall “began to speak of how the ‘rapture’ was coming,” a patrolman reported. The suspect added that, “God told her to do it,” police noted.

For some odd reason I thought of this right away...

 

[THERetroGamerNY]

The Rapture is about to happen, so go crash your car into Walmart.

Makes total sense...

[Mercer]

She sounds pretty mentally unwell. I hope she is able to get some help.

[paganbaby]

I thought of that "Six Feet Under" episode before I saw you'd posted the clip! Life imitates art, but thankfully without such fatal consequences.

[Grimalkin]

I guess God is unhappy with the way Walmart treats it's employees too.

[RosyDaisy]

Lucky nobody was injured. This lady appears to be mentally disturbed and needs help.

[Trynn]

Drugs?

[Mercer]

My armchair diagnosis (not professional opinion, take with many grains of salt, for entertainment purposes only, etc.) is it sounds like untreated bipolar, in a manic phase with psychotic symptoms. 

[47of74]

Facepalm....

nbcnews.com/news/us-news/oregon-man-tipped-prostitute-primate-stolen-pet-store-police-n561031

Quote

An Oregon man is accused of tipping a prostitute with an exotic primate swiped from his own pet store along with stolen Girl Scout cookie money and a laptop computer.

Gooey is in protective custody after detectives learned the Galago, or bush baby, was used to tip a prostitute. Eugene Police Department

A two-week-long investigation into the missing Galago primate and Girl Scout cookie money from the Zany Zoo Pet Store eventually led Eugene police detectives to a prostitute at a hotel who was in possession of the animal. She told authorities she received it as a tip from a client.

The unnamed out-of-town prostitute identified the client as Nathan McClain, who owned Zany Zoo, where the money, the mammal and a laptop went missing from, the Eugene Police Department said in a statement.

His probably soon to be former wife is in the process of removing him from the business.