Stories

[IronicallyMaeve]

I feel like expecting a minimum wage fast food worker to not be stoned at work is fairly unrealistic.

[ShepherdontheRock]

Some of the biggest stoners I know work in food service.

One of the biggest ones being a Domino's delivery driver.

But I can't imagine how you could be high and surrounded with Jimmy Johns or Domino's...I mean some of their food is OBVIOUS wink wink nudge nudge marketing to stoners.

[NakedKnees]

I worked at a movie theater for several years and the on-site substance shenanigans there were astounding. Overall, I'd way rather have stoners than drunk people prepare food and serve people.

Whatever your poison, why put this on the internet?? I want to assume these guys were thinking the potential viral fame was better than a job at Pizza Hut, and they may not be wrong if they handle it well 

[Chowder Head]

Hmm that might explain my experience last night when I went to go pick up my pizza. One of the workers walked over took my bread sticks . sat down and started to eat them, saying they were hers. Had to wait for them to remake that set.

[Pupalup]

I'd never even think of doing that at work, but I have to say I don't really blame them for wanting to be high at work. Food service is so emotionally draining, having to be nice to people no matter how rude they are to you is awful. 

[nomoxian]

On Tuesday, December 29, 2015 at 8:53 PM, RosyDaisy said:

Wait, this wasn't a bunch of crazy ass southern rednecks? Seriously though, my condolences to the family of the man who died.

That part of Germany isn't really known for being cosmopolitan...

[Dollypeeps]

Well he will be remembered alright for all the wrong reasons feel for his family though 

[16strong]

On 1/4/2016 at 2:37 PM, Mela99 said:

This is my new favorite Darwin Award. The other one was a man killed by a cow falling through the roof and landing on him. His mother said "I did not raise my boy to be killed by a cow."  I laughed and then wanted to put on a hair shirt... 

My personal favorite is the one where the guy set off a firework on his head on 4th of July. It just does not get any dumber than that.

[withaj]

Man, this is some weird shit, even for Georgia (and even for the Daily Mail).

(I'm allowed to say that, I'm from the state next door.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3401574/Georgia-sheriff-investigates-mysterious-cattle-mutilations.html

[SledCat]

Quote

Edge says that people might be motivated to kill a cow for a particular body part, like the kidneys, and that they can extract such organs through the rectum.

Good lord... Is this true? Surely this would have been discovered during the autopsy, though.

[doggie]

Last time this happen they found it was ants. The rectum pocked out and ants chewed it off. Thought it was aliens last time

[Mrsaztx]

I certainly hope that the university doing the necropsy would notice missing organs, that's basically step 1: hey, is any important shit not here? If yes, you have a decent clue. And Coyotes always eat the rectum first, which is weird, but it's their favorite, I suspect it was animals. Off to check some industry sites

ETA extracting organs through the rectum would be absurdly difficult, I doubt anyone would go that route, a centerline incision is way easier (and you can see wtf you're doing, instead of relying on feel)

[Mela99]

I so thought this was satire because this was a South Park episode  . . . 

COWS TURNED INSIDE OUT BY ALIENS

[PennySycamore]

1 hour ago, Mrsaztx said:

I certainly hope that the university doing the necropsy would notice missing organs, that's basically step 1: hey, is any important shit not here? If yes, you have a decent clue. And Coyotes always eat the rectum first, which is weird, but it's their favorite, I suspect it was animals. Off to check some industry sites

ETA extracting organs through the rectum would be absurdly difficult, I doubt anyone would go that route, a centerline incision is way easier (and you can see wtf you're doing, instead of relying on feel)

It should be an expertly done necropsy as it will be done at the vet school.

[Cleopatra7]

10 hours ago, Mela99 said:

I so thought this was satire because this was a South Park episode  . . . 

COWS TURNED INSIDE OUT BY ALIENS

Fears about aliens or ritualistic Satanists engaging in cattle mutilation back for decades, possibly even centuries. I guess we were overdue for another cattle mutilation scare, though I imagine this time it will be blamed on ISIS.

[Grimalkin]

The rump roast I was going to put in my crockpot seems unappealing to me now.

 

[downtherabbithole]

This is somewhat local to me. I couldn't believe it when I read it. But there have been other instances recently of livestock being shot and wild dogs getting to them(somewhat local as well). It is interesting to say the least. 

[Mrsaztx]

10 hours ago, downtherabbithole said:

This is somewhat local to me. I couldn't believe it when I read it. But there have been other instances recently of livestock being shot and wild dogs getting to them(somewhat local as well). It is interesting to say the least. 

I don't remember if it was the original story or the DM one, but one said these cows had no bullet wounds, so unless someone went in with a horse or pickup and roped them and choked them down (which you would see evidence of in tire tracks and hoof marks, that's a struggle with a fully grown pasture cow) then it seems the most likely culprit is going to be some type of naturally occurring toxin, like nitrates, or a weed infestation. It's very likely this is due to the goofy weather which will cause some plants to become toxic to cattle. I didn't understand their "nobody shot them but let's act like people dissected them" line. If they weren't shot, weren't choked, how would these theoretical cow organ smugglers access the cow? They typically don't let you just walk up to them at night. Also I sincerely hope that a person needing a cow kidney, in their googling of where to find one, realizes butchers will literally give them to you. 

[downtherabbithole]

Here is the update for those interested:

 

http://onlineathens.com/breaking-news/2016-01-26/mutilation-jackson-county-cows-attributed-scavengers

[47of74]

My sister just sent this along. 

 

 

Glad the resident feline headship wasn't here to see this, she'd probably go nuts.

[47of74]

Get them Gein/Walker/Dahmer jokes ready folks!

startribune.com/gov-walker-signs-bill-upping-penalty-for-hiding-corpses/367692761/

Quote

MADISON, Wis. — Gov. Scott Walker has signed a bill increasing the penalty for hiding a corpse.

Concealing a corpse was previously a Class G felony, carrying a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison and a $25,000 fine. The bill reclassifies the crime as a more severe Class F felony, punishable by up to 12½ years in prison and $25,000 in fines.

The Senate approved the Republican-authored bill in June. The Assembly passed it in January. Walker signed the bill into law along with 20 other bills Thursday.

 

[FloraKitty35]

Walker is a wonky eyed weasel.  

[Curious]

What the heck is wrong with the people in Wisconsin (no offense to the few sane people that live there).   I visited WI quite a bit as a kid and the people there did not seem crazy, but all the news I read about it lately is kinda

Speaking of WI and corpses, do we have any members that have watched/are obsessed with Making a Murderer?

[QuiverDance]

Has FJ ever discussed this crazy delusional nutjob?

http://www.theangryredheadedlawyer.com/

 

[Chach1984i]

On 2/5/2016 at 10:56 AM, Curious said:

What the heck is wrong with the people in Wisconsin (no offense to the few sane people that live there).   I visited WI quite a bit as a kid and the people there did not seem crazy, but all the news I read about it lately is kinda

Speaking of WI and corpses, do we have any members that have watched/are obsessed with Making a Murderer?

I saw this thread title and immediately thought of Steven Avery!