Stories

[season of life]

Aw, that's making me hungry for a bag of Cheetos. And that particular Cheeto looked way longer than I thought it would.

[47of74]

I bet it was bottom shelf product too he was trying to save.

kwwl.com/story/35225889/2017/04/24/1-hospitalized-another-arrested-in-residential-fire

Quote

One person was taken to the hospital, two were treated at the scene and another person was arrested after fire broke out in a multi-family residence in Sioux Falls.

Officials say a man was arrested after trying to push past authorities to save his beer inside the residence Sunday afternoon.

 

[Cartmann99]

Once he's released, he'll be crying in his beer over his lost beer. 

[47of74]

Got some more info on the South Dakota Beer Run Dude

thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/burning-building-beer-run-487293

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Michael Casteel, 56, was collared outside his home, a multifamily residence in Sioux Falls. As emergency workers were treating other building residents for injuries, Casteel, cops say, persisted in trying to reenter the building (seen above) to retrieve beer from his apartment.

Casteel succeeded in returning to his home, where he grabbed two cans of Bud Ice Premium, cops say. Upon exiting the building with cans in hand, Casteel was arrested for his ill-advised beer run.

A police spokesperson charitably described Casteel’s devotion to his suds as “poor judgment.”

Casteel, charged with obstructing a firefighter or law enforcement official, was booked into the Minnehaha County jail (where he is locked up in lieu of $300 bond).

Yeah, pretty much what I thought with the Bud Ice Premium. 

And Jesus Christ.  You can get 25oz cans of it at Wally World for $1.72.  Couldn't this guy have gone out and bought some more instead?  That would've been a lot cheaper than what he'll have to pay now.

[47of74]

I suppose it could've been worse.

thesmokinggun.com/buster/books-million/books-a-million-dildont-593871

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Meet Nelson Webb Lentz.

Following a “bad experience” at a Books-A-Million outlet near his Louisiana home, the 71-year-old Lentz decided to retaliate in a unique way.

Instead, Lentz visited the Monroe business and left dildos on the shelves of the store’s Religion section. Lentz copped to his bizarre actions during a police interview Sunday morning “about leaving sex toys (Dildos)” at the chain store (seen below).

Lentz, pictured above, told cops he “had extra items, so he used them for that purpose.” Books-A-Million workers told police that there had been “several incidents involving Lentz leaving the items in the Religious section of the store.”

I think my brain is gonna short circuit thinking too much about how Mr. Lentz had extra dildos. 

[infooverload]

I'm sorry but this had me cracking up. I wonder why the cops had to be involved though. Could the owners of the store not simply asked him to cease without involving the cops?

[Cartmann99]

3 hours ago, 47of74 said:

I suppose it could've been worse.

thesmokinggun.com/buster/books-million/books-a-million-dildont-593871

I think my brain is gonna short circuit thinking too much about how Mr. Lentz had extra dildos. 

You don't have folks selling "gently used" dildos by the truckload at the garage sales in your town? 

[kunoichi66]

1 hour ago, Cartmann99 said:

You don't have folks selling "gently used" dildos by the truckload at the garage sales in your town? 

what?!  *whimpers*

[LadyCrow1313]

This made me smile. Thank you, @47of74 

[Cartmann99]

9 hours ago, kunoichi66 said:

what?!  *whimpers*

Don't you watch those home improvement shows? You'll reduce the number of proselytizers at your door, if you line your sidewalk and flower beds with a cheerful assortment of rainbow colored dildos. 

[LadyCrow1313]

18 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Don't you watch those home improvement shows? You'll reduce the number of proselytizers at your door, if you line your sidewalk and flower beds with a cheerful assortment of rainbow colored dildos. 

That should be the plan of the Rainbow House that's across the street from the Westboro Aholes. (That IS still there, isn't it?)

[SusanDelgado]

OMG

[PennySycamore]

 

23 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Don't you watch those home improvement shows? You'll reduce the number of proselytizers at your door, if you line your sidewalk and flower beds with a cheerful assortment of rainbow colored dildos. 

I rather like the suggestion I read some years ago to have a chalk outline on your front walk and tell people that the outline was of the last proselytizer that had come to the house.

[kunoichi66]

6 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

Don't you watch those home improvement shows? You'll reduce the number of proselytizers at your door, if you line your sidewalk and flower beds with a cheerful assortment of rainbow colored dildos. 

I live in a flat, so dildo flower beds are out, I'm afraid. Perhaps I could be like the ancient Greeks and have a phallus doorbell?

 

5 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

 

I rather like the suggestion I read some years ago to have a chalk outline on your front walk and tell people that the outline was of the last proselytizer that had come to the house.

I feel like I would get on well with whoever made this suggestion...

[LadyCrow1313]

 

On ‎4‎/‎24‎/‎2017 at 1:16 PM, Cartmann99 said:

Once he's released, he'll be crying in his beer over his lost beer. 

Who was it that had a song about a tear in my beer? I want to say that it was some country dude, but I can't remember who sang it.

[FloraKitty35]

29 minutes ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

 

Who was it that had a song about a tear in my beer? I want to say that it was some country dude, but I can't remember who sang it.

Hank Williams

 

[47of74]

1 hour ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Hank Williams

 

Yeah, Jr.  I can't sand him.  He can't hold a candle to his father when it comes to talent.  And he's thrown in with the likes of Sarah Palin.  

[LadyCrow1313]

23 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Hank Williams

 

Thank you, @FloraKitty35. If I remember correctly, Tom Hiddleston is going to be in a movie about Hank Williams life; coming out this year, maybe? (Possibly next year?)

[Jug Band Baby]

I can think of another cheeto who is jealous.

[47of74]

Some good news out of Kentucky today.

kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article148057164.html

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A federal appeals court has reinstated a claim for damages against Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis for refusing to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples during the summer of 2015.

Last August, U.S. District Judge David Bunning dismissed three lawsuits that were filed against Davis by same-sex couples who asked her for marriage licenses after the U.S. Supreme Court’s legalization of gay marriage. Davis said she refused to grant the licenses because of her religious objection to same-sex marriage.

Those cases were “moot,” or settled, Bunning said, because Gov. Matt Bevin and the General Assembly resolved the matter by changing state law in 2016 to remove county clerks’ names from marriage licenses, as Davis had requested. Same-sex and opposite-sex couples once again could obtain marriage licenses in Rowan County.

However, a three-judge panel of the U.S. 6th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Tuesday that the state of Kentucky changing marriage licenses in 2016 does not eliminate whatever harm Davis might have done to couples’ constitutional right to marry in 2015.

Dear Ms. Davis.

Two things.

1) Three words ending in yourself.

2) More importantly....

I wonder how long till some fundie plants the ideas in that mush Agent Orange calls a brain that it would be a good idea to break up the 6th Circuit now?

[CrazyLurkerLady]

Waiting for all the fundie-lites in my family to start screaming about Christian persecution.

[47of74]

Former Episcopal Bishop Heather Cook will be a guest of the state of Maryland for a while longer

baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bs-md-cook-parole-hearing-daily-20170509-story.html

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The Maryland Parole Commission on Tuesday denied the parole request of Heather Cook, the former Episcopal bishop who is serving a seven-year prison sentence for the drunk driving crash that killed a bicyclist in 2014.

Commission chairman David Blumberg said the two commissioners who ruled on the case told him they denied Cook parole in part because she "took no responsibility" for her actions and displayed a "lack of remorse" during the 90-minute hearing at the Maryland Correctional Institution for Women in Jessup.

Cook's attorney for the hearing, Hunter L. Pruette, left without addressing reporters and could not be reached for comment.

Cook, 60, pleaded guilty in 2015 to charges of vehicular manslaughter, drunk driving, driving while texting and leaving the scene of an accident in the crash that killed 41-year-old Thomas Palermo on Dec. 27, 2014.

I'm glad they ruled the way they did.  I had seriously toyed with sending the parole board a letter saying no don't let her out early. 

 

[Four is Enough]

That was a very sad case. Heather Cook left the scene, denied her involvement, wasn't remorseful, and flat out deserves to be where she is, for a good long time.

[47of74]

No this was not Florida

thesmokinggun.com/buster/indecent-exposure/mcdonalds-lewdness-294031

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Meet Conrad Jablecki.

The 30-year-old Maryland man has been charged with indecent exposure and open lewdness after he engaged in oral sex with a woman in the dining room of a Pennsylvania McDonald’s, cops report.

According to investigators, Jablecki and a woman--who has yet to be apprehended--trysted publicly on a Thursday afternoon in March. A McDonald’s worker spotted the duo’s illicit activity and chased them from the restaurant in York (pictured below).

Jablecki, who lives about 40 miles south of the McDonald’s, was charged Monday in a District Court criminal complaint. Jablecki’s rap sheet includes convictions this year for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. In 2012, Jablecki was sentenced to 60 days in jail and placed on probation for two years in connection with charges that he exposed himself to a woman and her five-year-old daughter on a  Maryland beach.

Neither Mickey D's employees or police were lovin' it.

[bashfulpixie]

24 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

No this was not Florida

thesmokinggun.com/buster/indecent-exposure/mcdonalds-lewdness-294031

Neither Mickey D's employees or police were lovin' it.

How sad is it that the whole reason I opened this was to see if it was once again Florida?  #becauseFlorida