Stories

[47of74]

Wow. So many jokes. I'm trying to hold it in.

Yeah. Only thing keeping me from letting them all out is that she got burned in the process.

[Khan]

I wish her a quick and complete recovery.  Maybe later we can find the jokes and let em rip.

[47of74]

I wish her a quick and complete recovery.  Maybe later we can find the jokes and let em rip.

Yeah then we can break wind on this subject.

[smittykins]

Dang tootin'!

 

 

[47of74]

Then this happened this morning...

nbcnews.com/news/us-news/suspect-caught-ambush-style-shootings-2-des-moines-area-officers-n676681

Quote

A suspect was captured Wednesday morning in the killing of two Des Moines-area police officers slain in separate "ambush-style attacks" while sitting in their cars, Iowa authorities said.

Police arrested Scott Michael Greene, 46, in nearby Dallas County amid a manhunt following the early-morning shootings, Des Moines police Lt. Chris Scott told NBC News. He was being transported back to Des Moines for questioning.

A law enforcement official told NBC News the suspect has "a history of problems and mental issues and was in dire straits."

Earlier, police described Greene as armed and dangerous, and said he posed a "clear and present danger to police officers."

I see Mrs. Clinton's campaign had the decency to cancel a campaign event that was going to take place in the Des Moines area today.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/clinton-iowa-event-cancelled-iowa-police-shot

I hope Agent Orange and other Republicans don't get all stupid now about this.

[47of74]

And here comes Arizona Man, who figured why let Florida, Wisconsin, and Ohio get all the attention...

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/methtillas-arrest-920764

Quote

When Abelardo Aguilar arrived at the Nogales, Arizona border crossing Friday afternoon, the 62-year-old Arizona resident was questioned about the two plastic bags he was seeking to carry back into the United States.

Perhaps because of the abundance of Mexican food products for sale in Nogales itself, the agent decided to examine the three wrapped stacks of tortillas that Aguilar had decided to import.

After a drug dog “alerted positively” to Aguilar’s belongings, agents opened the bags and discovered that each of the tortilla stacks was “hollowed out” and stuffed with a package containing methamphetamine. Combined, the tortilla stacks--seen in the above evidence photo--held nearly three pounds of the drug.

During questioning, Aguilar claimed not to know what methamphetamine was (or that it was a controlled substance). Aguilar told agents that, a week before his arrest, he had met a woman in Nogales who “asked him to pick up tortillas from an unnamed associate of hers on the other side of the border.”

[Peas n carrots]

Seems the suspect had been confronting black people at a rally in Des Moines holding a confederate flag earlier in the day.

This whole election cycle worries me - I think there is going to be a rash of politically and racially motivated violence similar to this in the next few weeks.

[Khan]

"I'm going to make a run for the border. I've got a craving only tacos can stop!" I hope those dogs are well rewarded for sniffing this stuff out 

[47of74]

Oh wait, this happened back in April?  Yeah tragedy + time = comedy.  In that spirit, the jokes...let 'em rip!

[paganbaby]

12 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Then this happened this morning...

nbcnews.com/news/us-news/suspect-caught-ambush-style-shootings-2-des-moines-area-officers-n676681

I see Mrs. Clinton's campaign had the decency to cancel a campaign event that was going to take place in the Des Moines area today.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/clinton-iowa-event-cancelled-iowa-police-shot

I hope Agent Orange and other Republicans don't get all stupid now about this.

As the murderer was angry because of protests during the National Anthem at a football game and because he was asked to remove his Confederate flag, I'm sure they will have very little to say. It will all be put down to mental illness. Because when bigoted white guys commit crimes, it's never because of the toxic, racist environment Trump and his cronies have fostered.

The exception, of course, will be the overt white supremacists, who will see him as a hero.

[47of74]

20 minutes ago, paganbaby said:

As the murderer was angry because of protests during the National Anthem at a football game and because he was asked to remove his Confederate flag, I'm sure they will have very little to say. It will all be put down to mental illness. Because when bigoted white guys commit crimes, it's never because of the toxic, racist environment Trump and his cronies have fostered.

The exception, of course, will be the overt white supremacists, who will see him as a hero.

And of course if his skin had a different melanin composition would he have been taken in to custody?

 

[Khan]

@47of74, if he had a lovely light brown or darker skin tone I do believe he'd have been brought in inside a bodybag.

[LadyCrow1313]

Sorry, Methtilla Man, Walter White is not real & doesn't need any supplies from you. Dufus.

[LadyCrow1313]

I'm glad this butthole was caught before other people died at his hands. I feel badly for the families of the cops he killed.

[polecat]

I expected this to have happened in the windy city, but no ... it was Tokyo. This whole situation sounds insane in the methane. 

On a serious note, I've always been afraid of flatulence during surgery because of embarrassment. I never dreamed that it could be potentially life-threatening. Geez! Poor woman.

[Roux]

I'm just disappointed they ruined perfectly good tortillas.

[doggie]

nothing like having drunk sex at a topping with your kids in back.

 

http://www.khou.com/news/crime/hpd-half-naked-adults-passed-out-in-car-with-toddlers-inside/347205209?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

Quote

HOUSTON - Two half-naked adults were arrested after a police officer found them passed out in a car with two toddlers in the backseat.

Dickison San Jaun, 22, is charged with DWI and endangering a child. Jessica Bello, 21, is charged with endangering a child.

The HPD officer saw their car stopped at a stop sign on Parana near Neuns in the Spring Branch area. When he looked inside, he said Dickison was passed out with his pants down. The officer said Bello was also passed out. She was straddling San Juan with her pants pulled down and shirt off, according to HPD.

In a court appearance Thursday, prosecutors said it appeared the couple passed out after having sex. The car was in a moving lane of traffic and was still in drive.

Two little girls, ages 1 and 2, were in the backseat. One was sleeping and the other was awake.  

 

[LadyCrow1313]

Sometimes the thought of people applying for a license to have children isn't a bad idea. Hope the wee ones are ok.

[47of74]

No.  Not Florida.  Ohio.

wkbn.com/2016/11/16/beaver-pd-woman-solicits-undercover-officer-for-cash-and-nachos/

Quote

BEAVER TOWNSHIP, Ohio (WKBN) – A man and suspected prostitute were arrested near Los Gallos on Market Street during a sting involving an undercover officer.

Beaver Police said the officer texted a woman, 36-year-old Crystal Hotlosz, who had an advertisement for sex services on Youngstown’s Backpage website. Police said Hotlosz agreed to meet the officer at Los Gallos for a sex act at a price of $50 and some nachos.

Hotlosz then called the officer and said the price would be $60, and he would have to provide the vehicle since she was having “her ride” bring her to the location, according to a police report.

Police said Hotlosz then arrived in the parking lot with another man, walked up to the officer’s car and asked if he was her date. Hotlosz asked the officer if he had any extra money and her nachos, according to the report.

 

[Carm_88]

Hahah nachos really? Priorities!  

[LadyCrow1313]

I (used to) like nachos as much as anyone else (& sexy times, too), but a combination of both for the low, low price of $50-$60? Such a bargain.

Actually, this reminds me of the song "Sex & Candy" (can't remember who sang it); maybe this lady was looking for a Weird Al wannabe to create a song for her?

Wait a second; just re-read the name of the town she was arrested in. Coincidence?

[47of74]

3 hours ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

I (used to) like nachos as much as anyone else (& sexy times, too), but a combination of both for the low, low price of $50-$60? Such a bargain.

Actually, this reminds me of the song "Sex & Candy" (can't remember who sang it); maybe this lady was looking for a Weird Al wannabe to create a song for her?

Wait a second; just re-read the name of the town she was arrested in. Coincidence?

Yeah that was the first thing I noticed, and now I had this song running through my head while I was reading the story.

 

[47of74]

Insert spicy meatball jokes here...

huffingtonpost.com/entry/naked-man-robs-pizza-restaurant_us_582cac87e4b030997bbd0b2e?utm_hp_ref=things-you-cant-do-naked

Quote

Baltimore County police are looking for a man who broke into a pizza restaurant last Thursday morning while naked.

It didn’t start that way. The robber was clothed when he entered Slice Pizza through an air vent, but he stripped naked when he got inside, according to CBS Baltimore.

Surveillance video caught the burglar with his pants down, off actually. And, yes, the suspect’s own sausage and meatballs are clearly visible.

The naked thief managed to damage a vent hood and several registers. But he didn’t eat any pizza and he didn’t take any dough, just a water bottle from the store, according to ABC2News.

 

[princessmahina]

I can't believe this guy went to all the trouble to break into a pizza place, get naked, and wallow nude in some kind of sensual mixture of sauce, pizza, and sticky dough. What a missed opportunity.

[clueliss]

Do we need a naked man tag to go with Florida man?