Stories

[Dandruff]

Wow, he seems like a real catch.

Perhaps there was some confusion about what was meant by "eating out"?

[47of74]

3 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Wow, he seems like a real catch.

Perhaps there was some confusion about what was meant by "eating out"?

LOL.  It was probably the most nutritious thing being served at that Mickey D's that day.

[unsafetydancer]

Used to work in a McD's in Scotland. Stuff like this happened surprisingly often, possibly because we were the only late opening place in the town centre where most other take aways close at about 1am. Maybe not quite as bad as this like but one night two guys did have a dick measuring contest. Please note these guys had to be in their 30s.

[47of74]

2 hours ago, unsafetydancer said:

Used to work in a McD's in Scotland. Stuff like this happened surprisingly often, possibly because we were the only late opening place in the town centre where most other take aways close at about 1am. Maybe not quite as bad as this like but one night two guys did have a dick measuring contest. Please note these guys had to be in their 30s.

Well, tangerine toddler is 70 and he wants to have a dick measuring contest with Kim Jong Un.

I remember seeing McDs in Europe.  I at no point had any desire to go in to them, figuring that I was in Europe and that there were much better places to eat than McDs over there.

[VelociRapture]

10 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

Well, tangerine toddler is 70 and he wants to have a dick measuring contest with Kim Jong Un.

I remember seeing McDs in Europe.  I at no point had any desire to go in to them, figuring that I was in Europe and that there were much better places to eat than McDs over there.

My grandparents took us to France and Italy. We actually went on "strike" one day in France because we were promised McDonald's and they purposely took us somewhere without one. They thought it was funny and pointless - until my brother told them exactly what subway trains and stations we could take to go back to our hotel and how easy finding one would be after that. That just impressed them. 

And yes, we got McDonald's.

(For the record we were kids at the time - 15, 13, and 11 - and just wanted to have a few meals that were somewhat familiar during our first international trip. We did way better in Italy the next year.)

15 hours ago, bashfulpixie said:

How sad is it that the whole reason I opened this was to see if it was once again Florida?  #becauseFlorida

Not sad. I did the same thing. Lol!

[47of74]

9 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

My grandparents took us to France and Italy. We actually went on "strike" one day in France because we were promised McDonald's and they purposely took us somewhere without one. They thought it was funny and pointless - until my brother told them exactly what subway trains and stations we could take to go back to our hotel and how easy finding one would be after that. That just impressed them. 

And yes, we got McDonald's.

(For the record we were kids at the time - 15, 13, and 11 - and just wanted to have a few meals that were somewhat familiar during our first international trip. We did way better in Italy the next year.)

Not sad. I did the same thing. Lol!

I suppose if I lived over there and wanted a taste of home I might stop at a McD's or Burger King like John Goodman's character did in King Ralph.

The food is much better in Europe.   Combined with being more active while on vacation I would lose weight on overseas trips because of the quality of the food, even though I didn't change portion sizes over there.

[front hugs > duggs]

We had a "Eurotrip" with students from our high school after graduation, so a bunch of 18 year olds legally allowed to drink for the first time. While we definitely enjoyed Italian and Czech culture, you bet your bottom we spent the 4th of July in a McDonald's! ... 

I also ate at a Burger Ranch in Israel- which is like a kosher Burger King. Interesting to have a 5 shekel menu 

 

[polecat]

I would save that Cheeto for posterity.

 

eta: poo, it's apparently a fraud. A fraudulent Cheeto. Seems to be a thing this year.

[starfish]

I watched the documentary "Jackson" which is about the last remaining abortion clinic in Jackson, Mississippi. It's very good. I was hoping my fellow Free Jingerites had watched it so we could mock and snark on Barbara Beavers, the head of the nearby crisis pregnancy center. She's a piece of fundy work. I was hoping I'd see ole Darby on film protesting. I didn't see her but there were lots of fundy crazies with their signs and garbage outside the clinic shouting at the women. Combining that and the Handmaiden's Tale made for a very heavy week. Snarking makes it bearable.

[onekidanddone]

It won't bring the person back, but I hope her continued incarceration brings the grieving family a little peace

[onekidanddone]

Snoopy dance.

[47of74]

Now Ohio Man is trying to outshine Florida Man.

kcrg.com/content/news/Police-Half-naked-driver-crashes-car-into-store-to-get-beer-421988523.html

Quote

Police in suburban Cleveland say a half-naked man intentionally crashed his car into a closed convenience store to get beer, injuring himself and a store employee.

Rocky River police say the 45-year-old driver was wearing nothing from the waist down when he crashed through a store wall early Sunday and told the worker he needed beer.

Police say the man barricaded himself in a beer cooler and told police to shoot him, but they subdued him with a stun device.

 

[infooverload]

For some reason the fact it was Ohio doesn't suprise me. Then again stupidity is the bad fairy dust sprinkled into every corner of the world. Certain areas though seem to get an extra sprinkling.

[47of74]

The latest from the world of retained objects.

thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/hidden-dandelion-729430

Quote

Police last Sunday received a pair of 911 calls reporting that a man and a woman were engaging in sexual activity in the parking lot of a restaurant in Kent, a city just outside Seattle. The duo, witnesses reported, were trysting in “full view of the restaurant patrons” and passing cars and pedestrians.

As alleged in a probable cause affidavit, Charity Flores, 36, was initially seen performing fellatio on Antoine Howell, 37. Flores (who also uses the surname Golbienko) “was naked from the breasts down,” while Howell had “his pants down and his penis exposed.” Flores, cops say, subsequently “turned around and bent over” and Howell “began having sexual intercourse with her.”

When officers arrived at the El Señor Pollo de Kent eatery (seen below), Howell was placed under arrest. A search of the suspect turned up a vial of PCP, noted cops, who added that the sluggish Howell “expressed himself by grunting” and appeared under the influence of the drug. Flores was detained shortly after she boarded a city bus.

Following her apprehension, Flores allegedly exposed herself to one patrolman and then “removed a dandelion from her vagina.” After being transported to the local jail, Flores “stripped herself naked” in a cell.

Everyone is playing catch-up to Florida.  First the Mickey D's blow job, and now this.

[LadyCrow1313]

7 hours ago, 47of74 said:

The latest from the world of retained objects.

thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/hidden-dandelion-729430

Everyone is playing catch-up to Florida.  First the Mickey D's blow job, and now this.

What is it about fast food places that makes people get all wacky, anyways? 

[Flossie]

One of my kids worked at a fast food place during high school.  One day she went in and was told to go to the office and look at some of the footage captured by a security camera the evening before.  A woman drove up to the ordering microphone at the drive through and ordered food.  Then she talked to the guy who took her order, telling him she'd just lost a pole dancing contest at a local bar, and was mad about it.  She felt she should have won, and to prove her point, she got out of her car, went to a light pole and showed off her winning dance.  She wasn't very good, but she looked good in the skimpy costume she was wearing.  

When she got up to the window to get her food, she was obviously drunk, didn't want to pay because she'd given them a show, and drove off cussing at them when they wouldn't give her free food.  Being teens, it didn't occur to them to call the police and report a drunk driver.

[47of74]

Of course, not Florida.

thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/west-virginia-burglar-762013

Quote

Tristan Tucker, 27, was charged Thursday with the burglary of his relative’s home in St. Albans, a city 10 miles west of Charleston. He is being held in the county jail in lieu of $10,000 bond on the felony count.

Tucker claimed that he “entered the home to charge his cell phone,” adding that, “while he was doing that, he started watching porn on the phone.” Masturbation followed, cops noted.

Since he did not want his grandmother to review surveillance video that showed him pleasuring himself in her home, Tucker said that he stole “the security cameras and the DVR box” and then stomped on the items before tossing them into a nearby river.

Problem is the West Virginia Wanker had not destroyed the DVR but left it intact for the police to retrieve video showing him breaking in several times.

[LadyCrow1313]

Thank Plexus for stupid criminals.

[47of74]

6 hours ago, LadyCrow1313 said:

Thank Plexus for stupid criminals.

They fixed the article so now it has the picture of the dude.  And it's pretty close to the mental image I had of the guy before hand. 

[47of74]

The shallow end of the gene pool on display again...

http://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article150498832.html

Quote

White nationalists turned up Saturday night at a Civil War monument in Virginia with Confederate flags, racist chants and blazing torches.

Blazing tiki torches, that is.

The internet was, well, not exactly impressed.

But it was the photos of grim-faced white nationalists carrying blazing tiki torches – more often seen as lawn ornaments at suburban luaus and pool parties – that cut Twitter to the bone. The funny bone.

Here's an example....

 

[VelociRapture]

I love Twitter specifically for stories like this.

And on behalf of the White Delegation, I'd like to formally apologize for these idiots. And Trump. And everyone in his Administration. And all white racists, bigots, and sexists. And, well, pretty much everything that happened in a history since the first pasty face met the first "super scary dark person" and decided they were somehow better than them.

... can the rest of the country get together and just vote all these assholes onto a bunch of islands in the middle of nowhere?

[Four is Enough]

It'll be the biggest island. It'll have everything. And we'll build a wall around it, and make them pay for it. It'll be the biggest wall. Yuge. 

[LadyCrow1313]

 

On ‎5‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 2:47 PM, 47of74 said:

They fixed the article so now it has the picture of the dude.  And it's pretty close to the mental image I had of the guy before hand. 

Whoa. Me, too. 

[CyborgKin]

Wow, what a complete wanker!

[47of74]

Ugh.

baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bs-md-umd-stabbing-arrest-20170521-story.html

Quote

Authorities are investigating whether the stabbing death of a black college student who was visiting the University of Maryland during graduation weekend was a hate crime.

The chief of the university police said Sunday the suspect, a white University of Maryland student, is a member of a racist Facebook group. An FBI official said the federal agency will assist with the investigation.

The victim, identified by police Sunday as Richard Collins III, was due to graduate from Bowie State University this week. The Calvert County man had completed ROTC in college and was commissioned a second lieutenant in the Army on Thursday, according to school officials and a family spokesman. He was 23.

Police have charged Sean Christoper Urbanski, 22, of Severna Park with first-degree murder in the attack. He was being held without bail. His family did not respond Sunday to a request for comment, and online court records did not list an attorney.

I hope the murderer gets to spend the next 70 or so years as a guest of the government in one of their fine correctional institutions.