Jinger and Lawson courting?

[missegeno]

I've had and greatly enjoyed relationships with huge age differences like that. At 22, I dated a guy who was in his early 40s, and at 24, I got involved with a guy who had recently passed 50. For the past few years, I've been involved with a guy who is in his mid-40s. As much as I know my parents would like me to go for people my own age, I just love the dirty ole man dynamic. Even when I was a teen, I was always gunning for the 18+ crowd. Most of them wouldn't bother with immature jailbait like me though so I didn't manage to shed my virginity until I was deemed close-enough to legal. That guy was a bit skeevy, I admit, but as I've gotten a bit older, my affinity for older men has yielded better and better results.

[Lewy]

15 hours ago, VixenToast said:

I'm with a 47 year old. I'm 26 :/

The thing is though that you're a consenting adult who has been an adult for a few years . It would be different if you are 15 or 18 (barely an adult) IMO, but at this point, you're an adult, they're an adult, who cares. IMO. 

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

I think the age difference is partly cultural, I don't really have a problem with a 15 year old dating someone in their early twenties, on average. It is on case to case basis, some 15 year olds cannot handle it at all but frankly, a lot of my friends in school dated older boys from 18-25 when they were 15-17 and they were not treated worse by them than by guys their own age. My country has 15 as age of consent and there are no rules on how old the other person can be be if they are also 15 or older. If my own daughter would date an older guy at 15-16 I would meet him first before I said if the relationship was acceptable to me or not. My impression is that the guys who want to date younger girls are more likely to be immature than out to harm the girls and they are actually often on the same level as the girls they date. 

Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm always a little confused by Americans' seeming obsession with age/age gaps (which is why I usually just don't say anything on the matter here, seeing as this is an overwhelmingly American forum ). So it definitely seems to be a cultural thing - which obviously doesn't mean there aren't people from other countries here who mind age gaps, specifically if one party is still a teenager, or Americans who don't mind it.

As a teenager, I certainly always prefered older guys. When I was 14, I had a short fling with a 20-year-old. When I was 15, I made out with my friend's 23-year-old brother at a party. At 17, I had a one-night-stand with a 27-year-old. And imagine that, I'm not creeped out by any of these experiences even in hindsight, as an adult. All of these experiences were 100 % consensual, I knew full well what I was doing and I wanted to do it. As elliha said, the guys were probably a little immature, and I was certainly mature for my age, but there was definitely no harm meant (and none done) on the part of any of these guys. My parents never got involved in who I was seeing - they certainly didn't meet any of these guys. Of course, when I was 19, I met Mr. O, who is just 6 months older than me, and we've been together ever since. How very boring of me.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. I had a point I wanted to make with all this, but who knows what it was at this point. Except that these things differ significantly by culture.

[HermioneSparrow]

Is it bad to go out with someone older or younger??? I've never liked older guys but i'm 26 and my last boyfriend was 21... Always dated younger people... c'mon Justin Bieber... NOT lol!

[Screamapillar]

It's interesting to read how people's different experiences and culture influence their feelings on age differences. I don't see anything wrong with age differences, be it 5, 10, 20, 30 whatever years, as long as the youngest party is mature enough to consent and no one is risking jail time as a result of their relationship. I've known people in their late twenties who weren't emotionally mature enough to be in relationships with someone their own age, let alone a decade older, so emotional maturity is all relative.

When I was a teenager I was running around our neighborhood on a summer day. This good looking guy pulled up in his car a safe distance away from me and said, "Hey! My parents and I have been debating about how old you are?" I replied "15." And he sped off soooo fast that his tires left skid marks that were visible for months afterward. Ah, memories. I went home and looked in my older brother's yearbook, found his senior picture two grades ahead of my brother, so he must've been about 21. And not interested in risking jail time.

[morri]

On 26/10/2015 at 4:20 PM, JillyO said:

Agreed. I really like her style. Since maxi dresses/skirts are so in right now, it should actually be pretty easy to dress modern modest. Still, Jinger is the only one of the older Duggar girls who really pulls it off.

i am still glad they arent in here. I rarely see anyone in a skirt let alone a floor sweeping skirt

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

2 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Is it bad to go out with someone older or younger??? I've never liked older guys but i'm 26 and my last boyfriend was 21... Always dated younger people... c'mon Justin Bieber... NOT lol!

I, too, have almost always dated younger. So did my grandmother and aunt. My grandfather is 2 or 3 years younger than my grandmother, and my aunt is 8 years older than my uncle. 

[JillyO]

49 minutes ago, morri said:

i am still glad they arent in here. I rarely see anyone in a skirt let alone a floor sweeping skirt

I'm sorry, but you must have VERY select awareness there. I am in Hamburg all the time because that's where Mr. O is from, and I also wear maxi skirts/dresses all the time. I remember you saying before that no one wears them in Hamburg, so I made a point of noticing other people in maxi skirts/dresses in the summer. They are everywhere. Seriously, you just need to look!

ETA: Maybe you just don't notice maxi skirts because you expect them to look frumpy, which they absolutely don't have to. It's not like someone wearing a maxi would stick out of a crowd.

[Fundie Bunny]

About the maxi skirts: Now they are nowwhere to be found here. Probably as soon as the weather gets hotter again, they will appear.

[ElegantMajesticPearls]

4 hours ago, JillyO said:

Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm always a little confused by Americans' seeming obsession with age/age gaps (which is why I usually just don't say anything on the matter here, seeing as this is an overwhelmingly American forum ). So it definitely seems to be a cultural thing - which obviously doesn't mean there aren't people from other countries here who mind age gaps, specifically if one party is still a teenager, or Americans who don't mind it.

As a teenager, I certainly always prefered older guys. When I was 14, I had a short fling with a 20-year-old. When I was 15, I made out with my friend's 23-year-old brother at a party. At 17, I had a one-night-stand with a 27-year-old. And imagine that, I'm not creeped out by any of these experiences even in hindsight, as an adult. All of these experiences were 100 % consensual, I knew full well what I was doing and I wanted to do it. As elliha said, the guys were probably a little immature, and I was certainly mature for my age, but there was definitely no harm meant (and none done) on the part of any of these guys. My parents never got involved in who I was seeing - they certainly didn't meet any of these guys. Of course, when I was 19, I met Mr. O, who is just 6 months older than me, and we've been together ever since. How very boring of me.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. I had a point I wanted to make with all this, but who knows what it was at this point. Except that these things differ significantly by culture.

I'm sorry but ew. Aside from the fact that its illegal, grown ass men hooking up with young teenagers is gross. When I was in high school, there were girls who dated older men and it was the "cool" thing to do. But as a twenty something looking back its weird. 

[JillyO]

13 minutes ago, ElegantMajesticPearls said:

I'm sorry but ew. Aside from the fact that its illegal, grown ass men hooking up with young teenagers is gross. When I was in high school, there were girls who dated older men and it was the "cool" thing to do. But as a twenty something looking back its weird. 

Where I am, it's not illegal. And while you think it's gross, I disagree. Like I said, seems to be a cultural thing.

[HermioneSparrow]

1 hour ago, DuggarsTheEndIsNear said:

I, too, have almost always dated younger. So did my grandmother and aunt. My grandfather is 2 or 3 years younger than my grandmother, and my aunt is 8 years older than my uncle. 

We're cougars

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

1 hour ago, HermioneSparrow said:

We're cougars

I guess I count in that club too!! Both Mr JFHes have been younger than me. In fact, the first/ex Mr JFH and I were the same age as the Smugwalds when LF was born. (To his credit despite being an Arndt-like mama's boy he had a much better work ethic than Bin).

[singsingsing]

Sorry, but I do find it really creepy for a 15-year-old to be dating a 23-year-old. Also I find a lot of young women who date way older men talk about how much they love maturity... but often when the relationship is actually examined, this older guy's supposed maturity is really just arrogance and cockiness masquerading as such. There are exceptions to every rule, but how 'mature' is a 47-year-old man who wants to date a 20-year-old woman? Of course the 20-year-old willing to date him is going to have stars in her eyes about how mature and refined and worldly he is, but in reality it's often a different story...

[withaj]

7 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Sorry, but I do find it really creepy for a 15-year-old to be dating a 23-year-old. Also I find a lot of young women who date way older men talk about how much they love maturity... but often when the relationship is actually examined, this older guy's supposed maturity is really just arrogance and cockiness masquerading as such. There are exceptions to every rule, but how 'mature' is a 47-year-old man who wants to date a 20-year-old woman? Of course the 20-year-old willing to date him is going to have stars in her eyes about how mature and refined and worldly he is, but in reality it's often a different story...

I agree completely. Gives me the willies. Those larger gaps in relationships when one party is below (sometimes waaay below) 18 are probably always going to seem exploitative to me. I'm into sex positivity and embracing your sexuality and doing whatever the fuck you want as long as both parties are consenting adults, but I guess that's my issue here -- anybody is going to be hard pressed to convince me that a 14 year old is a consenting adult.

But despite our (allegedly puritanical by some) squeamishness about it, I do think it is also true that as a very (very) general rule, many European cultures are more openly permissive about sexual behavior, not just broadly (permitting much more explicit commercials and advertisements, etc) but specifically as it regards younger teens' sexuality. I suspect that in part, the (significantly) lower drinking ages compared to the US create a more equitable playing field for hookup culture between mid-teens on up. 

So, can I see that some cultural relativism may be at play here? Yes. Does it still give me the willies? Yes. But do I realize I might feel a little bit differently if I'd grown up elsewhere? Possibly.

[justmy2cents]

My family is from Eastern Europe where early marriages were the norm.  My grandmother had an arranged marriage at 16.  Her groom was 26.  I can't even imagine but it was normal for that time and place.  My mom was 18 when she married my dad who was 23 at the time.  She had already graduated and was working so I don't think it seemed like a big difference.  I dated a 32 year old guy when I was 24 and it felt like a huge difference to me.  I prefer being with men around my own age.  It may be because my parents were so young when I was born that if I dated a man 20 years older he'd be the same age as my mom.

[elliha]

8 hours ago, withaj said:

I agree completely. Gives me the willies. Those larger gaps in relationships when one party is below (sometimes waaay below) 18 are probably always going to seem exploitative to me. I'm into sex positivity and embracing your sexuality and doing whatever the fuck you want as long as both parties are consenting adults, but I guess that's my issue here -- anybody is going to be hard pressed to convince me that a 14 year old is a consenting adult.

But despite our (allegedly puritanical by some) squeamishness about it, I do think it is also true that as a very (very) general rule, many European cultures are more openly permissive about sexual behavior, not just broadly (permitting much more explicit commercials and advertisements, etc) but specifically as it regards younger teens' sexuality. I suspect that in part, the (significantly) lower drinking ages compared to the US create a more equitable playing field for hookup culture between mid-teens on up. 

So, can I see that some cultural relativism may be at play here? Yes. Does it still give me the willies? Yes. But do I realize I might feel a little bit differently if I'd grown up elsewhere? Possibly.

Not all European countries have low drinking age, Sweden has 18 in bars and 20 to buy from a shop. We still don't think that it is such a big deal with teens dating people in their twenties. 

[Furbabies]

22 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Is it bad to go out with someone older or younger??? I've never liked older guys but i'm 26 and my last boyfriend was 21... Always dated younger people... c'mon Justin Bieber... NOT lol!

I'm (f) 15 years older than my S/O (m).  We are 49 and 34.  Always dated younger and now I'm a card carrying cougar!   

[Alicja]

My family is from Eastern Europe where early marriages were the norm.  My grandmother had an arranged marriage at 16.  Her groom was 26.  I can't even imagine but it was normal for that time and place.  My mom was 18 when she married my dad who was 23 at the time.  She had already graduated and was working so I don't think it seemed like a big difference.  I dated a 32 year old guy when I was 24 and it felt like a huge difference to me.  I prefer being with men around my own age.  It may be because my parents were so young when I was born that if I dated a man 20 years older he'd be the same age as my mom.

Yep. My Eastern European grandparents have a 10 year age difference, with my grandma being the younger one. I *almost* dated a Ukrainian guy when I was 17 and he was 22. He didn't seem to mind the gap, but I did, which is why I stopped seeing him.

[sawasdee]

My father was 11 years older than my mother, and nobody thought much of it. My sister's first husband was 10 years older, and most people didn't comment - but they did at her second marriage, to a man 21 years younger...... This was all in the UK.

[morri]

21 hours ago, JillyO said:

I'm sorry, but you must have VERY select awareness there. I am in Hamburg all the time because that's where Mr. O is from, and I also wear maxi skirts/dresses all the time. I remember you saying before that no one wears them in Hamburg, so I made a point of noticing other people in maxi skirts/dresses in the summer. They are everywhere. Seriously, you just need to look!

ETA: Maybe you just don't notice maxi skirts because you expect them to look frumpy, which they absolutely don't have to. It's not like someone wearing a maxi would stick out of a crowd.

Which parts does he frequent? I was in Altona station in early autumn or whatevs, and i was waiting for someone or just had time on my hands. Altona station is quite a big one not as big as central station but it has lots of people passing by. so I was there at least 30 min and not a single person passed me by wearing a skirt. Same at uni where I am 3 days a week.I often have an extra look because people on here say they are popular but alas I rarely spot anyone in a skirt.

14 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Sorry, but I do find it really creepy for a 15-year-old to be dating a 23-year-old. Also I find a lot of young women who date way older men talk about how much they love maturity... but often when the relationship is actually examined, this older guy's supposed maturity is really just arrogance and cockiness masquerading as such. There are exceptions to every rule, but how 'mature' is a 47-year-old man who wants to date a 20-year-old woman? Of course the 20-year-old willing to date him is going to have stars in her eyes about how mature and refined and worldly he is, but in reality it's often a different story...

My husband is 26 years my senior, I am 30 he is 56. I have known him for 10 years and we ve been together for 8 years. And no it is not a maturity thing either,actually my husband is more of a party animal than I am. We do share hobbies and interest like other couples, (sports and music)

[JillyO]

24 minutes ago, morri said:

Which parts does he frequent? I was in Altona station in early autumn or whatevs, and i was waiting for someone or just had time on my hands. Altona station is quite a big one not as big as central station but it has lots of people passing by. so I was there at least 30 min and not a single person passed me by wearing a skirt. Same at uni where I am 3 days a week.I often have an extra look because people on here say they are popular but alas I rarely spot anyone in a skirt.

His family lives in Altona, in the Schanze and in St. Pauli, so that's where we spend most of our time when we visit. I'll just have to take some sneaky pictures next summer to convince you.

[morri]

if they would be so popular they would be out in autumn and winter too. I am not that often in Schanze, but I am quite often at the waterfront, Altona station and well, anywhere in Altona district(I dont want to say which borough is mine specifically . I think it definitely calls for  FJ mini meet up, I didnt think there would be one near me

[happy atheist]

Part 2: http://www.freejinger.org/topic/25041-jingers-love-life-part-2/