All THINGS DILLARD - Part 3

[louisa05]

In Jill's defense, the rabid photo shoot tendency is a huge trend with kids these days, regardless of their religious or political affiliation.

I see it on my Facebook feed all the time and it drives me nuts. I hate the entire trend with a passion, and I also think it's stupid as fuck, but it is (unfortunately) not limited to Jill and Derick.

The newspaper in my parents' town started a Sunday insert for wedding and engagement announcements and milestone anniversary and b-days (as in 50th anniversaries, 80th/90th b-days) many years ago (instead of having them take up the life/style section). Apparently sensing a gold mine, they very shortly opened it up to any photo and announcement anyone would pay to have appear--anything that isn't a wedding/engagement or normal milestone costs a lot more. Now it is full of first anniversary photos and announcements, 1st b-days and so on. And last time I was there and picked the thing up, I saw 2 photos like the Dillard one for the 1st anniversary announcements--prior to that they had been wedding pictures for that.

[ClaraOswin]

I agree, it shouldn't matter in the least if a woman "snaps back" or never loses the weight, however it does seem to be an issue to many and a point of discussion for sure. Obviously, everyone is different and we can see that's true based on several posters commenting with testimony in both regards. One poster commented on how "hurtful" it was that people were asking her when the "baby is due?" several months after giving birth. I've been hearing that mistake being made for years.... I've done it myself. Sometimes you definitely need to stop and think before speaking.

I've learned to never ask anything about pregnancy. You just never know if someone is pregnant or not. Or maybe they just had a miscarriage or still born. Who knows? Just not worth the risk to me at all. I also never ask people when they want kids or anything like that. Also too risky. Even comments made lightly are sometimes bad. My aunt said to my SIL once when we were all around a cousin's baby - "Doesn't it make you want another one??" Well, my SIL had just had a miscarriage a couple weeks earlier that no one (except a couple of us closest to her.) She cried. It was heartbreaking. Other people ask my cousin all the time not knowing that she's unable to have kids. It really sucks. It can be a very sensitive subject, in general. I think that's why it always drives me crazy when JB and Michelle constantly make comments about it to people.

[ClaraOswin]

In Jill's defense, the rabid photo shoot tendency is a huge trend with kids these days, regardless of their religious or political affiliation.

I see it on my Facebook feed all the time and it drives me nuts. I hate the entire trend with a passion, and I also think it's stupid as fuck, but it is (unfortunately) not limited to Jill and Derick.

I agree...it's definitely popular with the 20-something crowd these days. Professional photo shoots for everything. Parties (complete with staged photos) for everything. In that sense, Jill and Derick are very much "normal." Though I can't say I'm a fan. I mean, I love pictures. But I just don't like 1,000 staged and fakey pictures...edited to within an inch of life.

[OrangeCat]

HAHA! Her hand is in between his legs and his hand is at such a weird angle.

I think it looks like a composite, that in one shot Jill was twisted back a bit more and they were holding hands under the chalkboard with the remainder of her arm mostly behind her but in another she had her arm outstretched over his thigh. There also seems to be some oddness about the position of her shoulders with regards to how her arm is positioned across his leg.

[VelociRapture]

I agree...it's definitely popular with the 20-something crowd these days. Professional photo shoots for everything. Parties (complete with staged photos) for everything. In that sense, Jill and Derick are very much "normal." Though I can't say I'm a fan. I mean, I love pictures. But I just don't like 1,000 staged and fakey pictures...edited to within an inch of life.

We're getting married this fall and had the option of having an engagement photo session or having the photographer put together a wedding album for us. We picked the album - we both feel like engagement shoots can be really awkward looking and we're too lazy to actually make the album ourselves. :lol:

I've learned to never ask anything about pregnancy. You just never know if someone is pregnant or not. Or maybe they just had a miscarriage or still born. Who knows? Just not worth the risk to me at all. I also never ask people when they want kids or anything like that. Also too risky. Even comments made lightly are sometimes bad. My aunt said to my SIL once when we were all around a cousin's baby - "Doesn't it make you want another one??" Well, my SIL had just had a miscarriage a couple weeks earlier that no one (except a couple of us closest to her.) She cried. It was heartbreaking. Other people ask my cousin all the time not knowing that she's unable to have kids. It really sucks. It can be a very sensitive subject, in general. I think that's why it always drives me crazy when JB and Michelle constantly make comments about it to people.

My general rule is to never mention pregnancy or children. If the other person mentions it first then that's ok. But I refuse to pry into someone else's life like that.

The Duggars opened themselves up to this kind of talk by putting such a huge emphasis on having children. But I do feel like its kind of ridiculous to speculate endlessly on Jill's body. Like other people have said, she just had a kid 3 months ago - her labor didn't go as planned, she had a big baby, and she wound up with a c-section. Having a belly at this point isn't the end of the world and, as you pointed out, it could be much worse.

(The rest is for the general public of FJ, not just you; it was just way easier to make one post)

As for the people constantly comparing Jill to themselves or who are pretty much claiming she is a lazy slob who does nothing all day - you have no clue what she actually is or is not doing with her time (unless you're secretly a Duggar). Because of that it is completely ridiculous to speculate endlessly about how she must sit around all day, napping and enjoying herself, while her sisters take care of everything.

Is it possible she does nothing at all? Yeah, it is. Is it possible she is taking care of Izzy by herself, keeping the house clean, cooking, and secretly training for a 5K? Yes. Speculating endlessly, with no clear evidence to back up our claims, doesn't really add anything productive to the overall conversation. I would argue that it actually distracts from other more snark-worthy topics (like those anniversary photos - Jill sweetie, hand placement is important :lol: )

[Nishi621]

Jill had a very large baby, to me, that's a good reason why the pooch is still there. Also, it's only been 3 months and she had a C-section! How long do doctors tell you to wait for exercise after a C-section? I had vaginal deliveries so i truly don't know

[2manyKidzzz]

I will repeat myself as I so often do.

I am frustrated that Derick quit that Walmart job. I could say that again and again. Where is their income coming from?

[Mama Mia]

Jill had a very large baby, to me, that's a good reason why the pooch is still there. Also, it's only been 3 months and she had a C-section! How long do doctors tell you to wait for exercise after a C-section? I had vaginal deliveries so i truly don't know

They generally tell you to wait two months to even begin any sort of exercise after a c- section. Or to lift anything heavier than the baby. Of course people can do things like take walk s with the baby in the stroller before that. But no, exercising too soon and overdoing it can run the risk of a badly healed incision which can lead to chronic pain and nerve damage. Of course that won't happen to everyone, or even most people -- but it's a really, really , really stupid risk to take.

And what is with people acting like she shouldn't take naps? Good lord, it's like all the recommendations for a healthy recovery from childbirth go out the window with the Duggar's and they should be out plowing fields :roll:

[VelociRapture]

They generally tell you to wait two months to even begin any sort of exercise after a c- section. Or to lift anything heavier than the baby. Of course people can do things like take walk s with the baby in the stroller before that. But no, exercising too soon and overdoing it can run the risk of a badly healed incision which can lead to chronic pain and nerve damage. Of course that won't happen to everyone, or even most people -- but it's a really, really , really stupid risk to take.

And what is with people acting like she shouldn't take naps? Good lord, it's like all the recommendations for a healthy recovery from childbirth go out the window with the Duggar's and they should be out plowing fields :roll:

Well, my great-grandmother's best friend's cousin's former neighbor's sister dropped a baby in the field and then went straight back to pulling the plow - if she can do it so can Jill, that spoiled Fundie Princess! :lol:

[ClaraOswin]

Jill had a very large baby, to me, that's a good reason why the pooch is still there. Also, it's only been 3 months and she had a C-section! How long do doctors tell you to wait for exercise after a C-section? I had vaginal deliveries so i truly don't know

I was told 8 weeks. Other than walking...I wasn't supposed to do anything really. Not even laundry (not that I minded that...ha!)

[formergothardite]

Well, my great-grandmother's best friend's cousin's former neighbor's sister dropped a baby in the field and then went straight back to pulling the plow - if she can do it so can Jill, that spoiled Fundie Princess! :lol:

When I was pregnant with my first I read all these natural child birth books, one had a story about how women in some country would work in the fields till they went into labor, go off to the side to give birth, stick the baby in a sling to nurse and then get right back to work. It was supposed to show how birth is totally natural and easy. :roll:

[lascuba]

When I was pregnant with my first I read all these natural child birth books, one had a story about how women in some country would work in the fields till they went into labor, go off to the side to give birth, stick the baby in a sling to nurse and then get right back to work. It was supposed to show how birth is totally natural and easy. :roll:

Do not get me started on that one. I think it was in that "documentary" that Riki Lake produced where some ass of a midwife told that story. So many levels of wrong. :evil-eye:

[Rachel333]

There was a belief in the 19th century that black women could give birth easily and go right back to the fields, while white women had trouble in childbirth. It was racist, obviously, used to support the idea of black women being more like animals and white women being delicate flowers who couldn't be expected to work the same way a black woman can.

[YourGodIsNotMine]

Do not get me started on that one. I think it was in that "documentary" that Riki Lake produced where some ass of a midwife told that story. So many levels of wrong. :evil-eye:

It's easy and natural and historically the number one cause of DEATH for women. It was called "the terror" for a reason. Childbirth still sadly kills so many women with no access to medical care. Heck, I know a woman who died in childbirth even in the hospital.

[Mama Mia]

When I was pregnant with my first I read all these natural child birth books, one had a story about how women in some country would work in the fields till they went into labor, go off to the side to give birth, stick the baby in a sling to nurse and then get right back to work. It was supposed to show how birth is totally natural and easy. :roll:

I actually did a research paper on that exact topic after having to go back to College for finals a week after having a baby -- and having all these idiots act like it was some great thing and how " strong" I was. No. I just had no option if I didn't want to lose my financial aid! It's this whole macho pregnancy thing that drives me nuts.

In virtually every culture around the globe, throughout time, there have been traditions designed to keep the mother and baby seperated and cared for for the first 6 weeks or so following birth. When they talk about a mother returning to work right away they are referring to one of three situations --

1 ) feudal , slave and otherwise completely oppressed and poverty stricken groups. Where they have had zero choice. And leads to extremely high rates of maternal and child complications and death.

2) In some societies the mom will be in with the other women, with her newborn, shelling beans or doing some idle activity for companionship and to talk. It isn't a requirement - it's just an acceptable activity -- like when your women friends come over to ooh and aw at the new baby. She isn't responsible for cooking, or chasing after her other children. She's hanging out where the other women are while they do those things for her. That's the idealized view that is often misrepresented.

And - sadly - 3) Modern middle class society -- where for some crazy ass reason it's seen as some sort of competition who can jump back into doing everything for everyone as quickly as possible.

[MatthewDuggar]

I will repeat myself as I so often do.

I am frustrated that Derick quit that Walmart job. I could say that again and again. Where is their income coming from?

His auto-reply from Walmart indicated that he had another position outside the company. If it's true, I have not seen anyone report where he may be working. The Dillards formed a ministry company very recently and there is speculation that they will be heading to Nepal. My guess is that Jilly has enough in savings from her fame to keep them afloat for a while.

[halcionne]

His auto-reply from Walmart indicated that he had another position outside the company. If it's true, I have not seen anyone report where he may be working. The Dillards formed a ministry company very recently and there is speculation that they will be heading to Nepal. My guess is that Jilly has enough in savings from her fame to keep them afloat for a while.

They started a non-profit with Chad Gallagher as the registrant. Maybe this is the new position? http://www.sos.arkansas.gov/corps/searc ... mber=&cmd=

[2manyKidzzz]

They started a non-profit with Chad Gallagher as the registrant. Maybe this is the new position? http://www.sos.arkansas.gov/corps/searc ... mber=&cmd=

Sigh, maybe so.

Well his degree won't go away. So they have an ace in the hole so to speak.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

The problem with Jill is not her body, but that none of her clothes have any structure! Everything is elastic and baggy. She needs something with a freaking ZIPPER. Or a belt. Just something more fitted that defines the lines and shape of her. At least for public appearances. She also needs a hairstyle and some proper makeup but I won't push my luck.

I won't snark on bodies but you will pry my fashion snark from my cold dead hands :)

[jacduggar]

I actually did a research paper on that exact topic after having to go back to College for finals a week after having a baby -- and having all these idiots act like it was some great thing and how " strong" I was. No. I just had no option if I didn't want to lose my financial aid! It's this whole macho pregnancy thing that drives me nuts.

In virtually every culture around the globe, throughout time, there have been traditions designed to keep the mother and baby seperated and cared for for the first 6 weeks or so following birth. When they talk about a mother returning to work right away they are referring to one of three situations --

1 ) feudal , slave and otherwise completely oppressed and poverty stricken groups. Where they have had zero choice. And leads to extremely high rates of maternal and child complications and death.

2) In some societies the mom will be in with the other women, with her newborn, shelling beans or doing some idle activity for companionship and to talk. It isn't a requirement - it's just an acceptable activity -- like when your women friends come over to ooh and aw at the new baby. She isn't responsible for cooking, or chasing after her other children. She's hanging out where the other women are while they do those things for her. That's the idealized view that is often misrepresented.

And - sadly - 3) Modern middle class society -- where for some crazy ass reason it's seen as some sort of competition who can jump back into doing everything for everyone as quickly as possible.

This makes me crazy. It took me 3 days to be able to walk through my house without having major pain. I think it was somewhere around 6 months where I felt more "normal" and like I could resume my life after I had my baby. I remember my in-laws all talking about going back to work at 4 weeks and how they were walking laps around the block after a week. I just wanted to say "good for you! I feel like my back is on fire and my insides still hurt". Thankfully I have an amazing employer who offered me a very flexible work from home schedule after my maternity leave was up at 12 weeks. I kept asking my doctor if something was wrong because I was so slow to recover. Nope, it's just our society that believes women should be able to have children (a process which changes our entire body) and go back to business as usual the next day :pull-hair:

[nst]

The problem with Jill is not her body, but that none of her clothes have any structure! Everything is elastic and baggy. She needs something with a freaking ZIPPER. Or a belt. Just something more fitted that defines the lines and shape of her. At least for public appearances. She also needs a hairstyle and some proper makeup but I won't push my luck.

I won't snark on bodies but you will pry my fashion snark from my cold dead hands :)

in all the new photos that Jill has been posting on her facebook page of the professional photoshoot to celebrate her 1 year of marriage - she looks a little decent -

although in one picture Derek touches her like she is pregnant and he looks like he has shiner

but I don't like the pink nailpolish against the backdrop

[luv2laugh]

Jill's long hair is very pretty. I also think she does her eyeliner well. The only thing that makes her frumpy in my opinion is the skirts that she is choosing to wear. If she borrowed some of Jessa's, she would look a lot better. Also, I will call it. I think Jill is already pregnant again. In the photos, her stomach doesn't look pudgy, it looks firm and bloated. I also think this might be why they decided to do a one year anniversary shoot. When she found out she was pregnant with Israel, they had Jinger take their photos too.

[tapdancer493]

They started a non-profit with Chad Gallagher as the registrant. Maybe this is the new position? http://www.sos.arkansas.gov/corps/searc ... mber=&cmd=

WOAH. I have so many questions I don't even know where to start. But if this is what Derick quit Walmart for, I'll be majorly disappointed

[ClaraOswin]

Jill's long hair is very pretty. I also think she does her eyeliner well. The only thing that makes her frumpy in my opinion is the skirts that she is choosing to wear. If she borrowed some of Jessa's, she would look a lot better. Also, I will call it. I think Jill is already pregnant again. In the photos, her stomach doesn't look pudgy, it looks firm and bloated. I also think this might be why they decided to do a one year anniversary shoot. When she found out she was pregnant with Israel, they had Jinger take their photos too.

Wow. I'm pretty sure if you saw a photo of me you'd probably think I was pregnant too.

I'm not saying it isn't possible that Jill is pregnant. But just based on her body at the moment...there's really no way to know. Some people just have firm and/or bloated bellies.

[drivingmishcrazy]

They've seriously taken and posted professional one year anniversary photos? I swear to God these people think they're the first humans ever to marry and start a family. Get. The. Fuck. Over. Yourselves.

In their defense (can't believe I'm saying that) apparently it's a big thing now, especially with young marrieds in my age demographic. I have seen it more among the religious, but it's pretty common with millenials in general. Something about documenting our every life event, if there isn't a study yet, there probably will be.

As for post-baby appearance, and I say this without malice, I'm glad I'm not going through it. Jill went from a tall, relatively skinny young bride, got pregnant and had a rough delivery/c-section/recovery, and her body in general changed a lot in just a year. I don't know if I could handle all of that physical change, much less mental and emotional change, in that short a time. I mean obviously it happens and probably will if you have kids, but for me just as a bystander, that's a lot to wrap my head around.

Then again, I'm 6 or 7 inches shorter than Jill and nowhere near as thin, so I'll probably look like a damn beach ball on legs if I ever have a kid :lol: