19 Kids & Counting - Season 10 - Duggar Snark Part 5

[Buzzard]

clown car vagina (part 3)

They show up at Dr sarver's office for a checkup. No kids with them. Boob likes sarver, good thing her parents werent asshats and let her get a real education.

Michelle says they're with her because she'll do the vbac. Sarver says that she meets the criteria and WITH PROPER STAFF IN PLACE AND AWARE OF THE RISKS they can do it.

The modesty sheet is now a blanket... They listen to the heartbeat. She's to come back in 3 weeks... Michelle says her childbearing years are probably ending soon. This may be the last baby... seasons of life... grandbabies... :dance:

2 weeks before her due date, she's having contractions on the ugly flower couch. Michelle is packing to go to the hospital... she calls the hospital and says she THINKS she's in labor. She walks down the sprial staircase. Boob does his hair.... then he gets dressed (slowly). Michelle is waiting for him. Grandma makes him eggs and toast (they actually show 2 different plates, one was sunny side up, one is scrambled.) Hannie eats a pickle.

They drive off in the SUV. They arrive at the dr's office and kiss. Jinger and Jessa take her inside.Sarver sees her and Michelle is all kinds of chipper. Michelle thinks she's breach. Sarver is going to check her so they kick the camera out.

[Buzzard]

They left out cervical softening! (part 4)

Jinger and Jessa explain why they were kicked out. They do an ultrasound with the modesty blanket, green this time... she's transverse. They get to the hospital and the section is scheduled for 1 pm. She gets an IV in graphic detain... and an EPIDERAL! Jessa explains how weird it is to have a scheduled birth. They all suit up.

She walks into the surgery prep area (to get the epidural) and they film the delivery. Michelle is praying, boob interrupts her. Jordyn, the forgotten child, is born. This is the last time she'll be in the spotlight.

Boob says she has her nose. The brood arrives. Josh isnt there. Jordyn is the 18th child and born on the 18th. AMy says she's beautiful...

Anna is pregnant, ONE WHOLE DAY pregnant before they announce! She's still calling him "joshua."

[Buzzard]

Anna's turn! (part 5)

July 2009. Anna is at the car lot, they're going to bradly class. She has the "joshy girl" purse. Josh thinks its interesting... why would a guy go to birthing class (he says). Anna says they havent done their homework in a month.

20 minutes before class he tries to print it out. They drive off, Teresa Fedosky in the crunchtastic hair teaches the class. Anna hasnt really been doing the exercises. She notes that Josh has gained the weight. He wonders if he'll be stuck for life. They havent done their homework.

Anna says doing the exercises is hard, not the exercises themselves. They practice squatting. She thinks the positions are ones that youd only be in when you're in labor because they're not comfortable. Josh says its an awesome experience. Josh isnt feeling the exercises. Hes supposed to be the coach.

[ViolaSebastian]

Come on, TOILET BIRTH! :cracking-up:

[Buzzard]

keep your stinkin hospital, I can do this shit on my own! (part 6)

October, 2009... Josh is wearing an "ipray" t shirt. Josh is charting contractions. He goes and checks on Anna but doesnt go in the room.

Sarver is out of town so they're going to do this on their own. Anna walks around the house. Boob calls and is taking michelle and jill to the airport so they can get back. Interesting that sarver is out of town, as is the duggar family, but the camera crew is there.

Josh says they're going to do a homebirth. Boob tells them to pray about it. Josh says theyre not comfortable with another dr, so Theresa is going to come and be a doula. They make the decision on the fly.

Theresa arrives. Anna is kneeling in front of the couch.

Michelle explains they were at big sandy and she and Jill decided that they were going back. Jana is left in charge. Jill says the other girls were helping out at camp. Littles cry... Jill really wanted to go and they didnt know if they'd make it.

10 hours into labor, theresa bags up the bedding and lets light in. Josh says that Anna has a low pain tolerance.

Anna curls up in an empty bathtub, wrapped in towels. Anna was in the shower and wanted to push. Michelle and Jill arrive 11 hours into labor.

They get in and Michelle looks through her bags. Anna is in the bathroom, in the shower. Michelle kisses Josh.

11.5 hours in... She's in bed. Michelle gives Anna water. Jill brings a pillow. Josh gets between her legs. Michelle holds her legs... and she's born.

They left out Josh taking a nap (or is that mike?)

Michelle says the birth was really cool. Josh cuts the cord. He blathers about her being an "intrinsic being."

The crew holds her. Josh is looking forward to sleep.

2 days later... the family arrives to meet her. She's already wearing a bow.

[JMO]

It still boggles my mind that they went from using an OB with experience with high risk births (Michelle) to calling a doula to see if she can help 2 inexperienced soon to be parents deliver their own baby(Josh, being a boy, didn't get to see his siblings born. Anna was low in the line up and wouldn't have seen either). Un effing believable. Let's just have a doula who taught us breathing exersizes and comfort positions help hold my wife's leg so I can catch my daughter. WTAF :cray-cray: Then again she showed up with all the equipment so I'm thinking this *may* be something she does on the sly. :roll:

[JMO]

Also, can I say that I love seeing the HAND SEX again. :lol:

[Buzzard]

cue the ominous musak (part 7)

How are they going to squeeze 2 hours out of 3 kids? I cant handle an hour of Josie

They tell the kids that she's pregnant... then she has pain. On ecember 4th she goes to the hospital, emergency room. Boob knew that it was serious... JOy says she's having kidney pain and they go to the hospital.

She has a gal stone. She's hooked up to check on the baby. She was contracting due to the pain... they're concerned. She needs to be transported to another hospital in case she has to deliver. Jill says they were all concerned because they didnt know if josie can survive.

She's airlifted to little rock. The camera crew is there, of course.

Back at the house, 2 days later... its not kidney stones. Its her gal bladder. They dont want to do the surgery because it could end in labor. At the hospital they check her again and things are better, but her BP is high. They cant control it and she has pre eclampsia.

They question again if she can survive that early. They want to continue the pregnancy as long as possible...

[Buzzard]

Oh shit, maybe hospitals arent so bad (part 8)

Back at the TTH the kids play. Michelle is in the hospital. JOsh and Anna are there, JOsh explains that she's having pregnancy issues. Gal stones arent really serious, but with a pregnancy it can be.

At the hospital they do an ultrasound. They video the ultrasound to send to the kids. Josh pages everyone to the kitchen. Amy's parents are there. No sign of grandma duggar. Josh has everyone pray to break up the gal stone.

They call and talk to boob and michelle. They email the video for them to do their own "gender" reveal. They line up around the mac... and watch the video. BOOB SAYS "the sex of the baby!" ZOMG he said SEX!

Michelle tells them its a girl. They all cheer.

Anna says Mac will have an aunt thats younger than she is. Josh is excited because they wont be too far apart in age.

Jinger sounds drunk.

Hannie's nose is running badly.

Dr comes in and tells them that there is a stone but its not obstructing. Her BP is bad. She's worried she could lose the baby, or die. Boob says her BP was shooting up and theres nothing he can do.

Screen tells us she's had pre eclampsia before with the twins.

Dr says it may be pre eclampsia but they're not sure. He explains what it is.

[mstee]

So I paused the tv on the sheet of names they were choosing from to name baby Jordyn, and Jichelle was on there. Wtf.

[Buzzard]

Yeah, ok. Modern medicine is da bomb (part 9)

Boob tells us that her BP went crazy, she's been diagnosed. They show michelle in the hospital bed. They take her to deliver Josie. Boob explains whats happeneing to Josh. If they dont deliver she'll stroke. Boob holds back tears as he tells the camera, he says they will praise god.

He asks the kids to pray. They go into the OR.

Josie is born and she's tiny.Boob says she's beautiful. She's taken away. Boob notes how tiny she is. She's a pound, 6 ounces. Her head is the size of a pool ball.

Michelle is thankful she's alive but she's scared for her life. She has an 80% chance of survival.

Boob tells Michelle again how beautiful Josie is.

A week later the kids pack up to see Josie. They pile into the bus and arrive at the hospital. AMy greets them outside.

Michelle is wheeled in to see the kids. She greets them and they lead the brood in to see josie. The kids are shocked. The older girls cry. Boob says that she is perfect and beautiful in every way. Anna and jinger sob.

Michelle says its breathtaking that such a little one can survive when they're so tiny.

Boob leads the kids out.

In April, 2010 Josie is doing much better. They take her home. She has a heinous pink bow on her head.

The kids decorate the house and make a welcome home sign. JInger and Jessa have crunchy perms.

[Buzzard]

Here comes the toilet! (part 10)

At Josh and Anna's house she's expecting Mike. Anna has blue eyeshadow on...

Anna is home a lot with mac since she needs to spend time with mac and get the house ready for Josh when he gets home. Mac has "big sister practice time." She holds a doll.

Michelle flashes back to being pregnant with the twins and how Josh was going to be a leader etc. Anna explains how they've talked up the pregnancy and taught her how to take care of the baby by using the doll. Mac is now "mommy's helper..."

The J'kids suggest baby names.

[Imrlgoddess]

Been switchin' channels between this and SouthPark :D

I'm kinda itchy to see the toilet birth, the YouTube clips don't do it justice!

:cracking-up: :cracking-up:

[Vivi_music]

BUZZARD! Oh my goodnes, I love it. You are such a trooper. I'm watching and reading your recaps at the same time. This is making me laugh way more than it should. :lol:

[Buzzard]

Ok really, here comes the toilet! (part 11)

they're getting their 3d/4d ultrasound. Anna thinks he looks like Jim Bob Duggar.

Mac was very excited at the ultrasound. Anna thinks that she's connecting with the baby. She points at the screens and says "baby."

2 months later... ominous music! The freaky baby size thing is on the wall.

Anna is walking around the house. JIll and Michelle prep for a water birth. Anna sits on the couch. Michelle says she's reliving all the labors and praying for her. The same woman from Mac's birth is there. Mac holds the baby doll.

Anna takes her and asks her is she slept good. Anna tells her that Mommy's having a baby and cries as she says "baby brother is going to come out soon." She sniggles Mac.

Anna gets in the pool at 8 hours. Josh is wearing the couragous shirt... Anna is fully clothed as well.

Anna goes back into the bedroom. She gers on the bed...

[Honeysuckle]

Nooo I went and fixed myself a drink and got distracted and missed the toilet birth! That's the only reason I was still sitting through this crap!

[Buzzard]

IIIiiiiiitttTTTS NAPTIME!!! (part 12)

Its hour 14 and Anna is on the bed. Michelle is shooting her the stink eye. Anna says she cant do it. Josh tells her that she can do it. Its been 17 hours (per josh). Michelle says she's doing great and its a few more minutes.

Anna moves to the couch. Teresa sets up protection from "baby juices" on the couch.

Its hour 17... they raise her lefs up. Josh tells her to squat. She tries it. Jessa looks like she's having NONE of this.

Teresa asks her if shes going to "go potty..." Josh goes to take a nap because its going to be a while. He's been there for a half hour when Jill comes to get him.

SHe's on the toilet, its clear he'll be born on the toilet.

Josh gets front and center and tells her to push. Only the toilet roll isnt blurred. He's born, Anna thanks Jesus. Anna pulls him to her and snuggles him, josh kisses her awkwardly. He's named after both of their fathers.

Jill says that anna "needed to go relieve herself" and relieved herself of more... the bathrobe on the door is classic.

The Duggars arrive with their usual fanfare: parking on the grass and honking.

He's taken outside to meet the brood, including a bunch on non duggar kids.

Josh thinks its awesome that he has a boy. Mac meets Mike for the first time. She doesnt even look at him until Anna makes her kiss him.

OH SHIT THEY'RE DOING JUBILEE

[Buzzard]

20th, no 21st, no, 22nd kid? Shit, I lost count! (part 13)

Boob explains they didnt know if she could get pregnant again. They were very surprised... she exercises as Josie plays by the equipment. She takes her vitamins and works out... eats protein... JOrdyn? climbs on the equipment.

Michelle realizes she has to be careful after the Josie debacle. The pregnancy was joy mingled with fear of the future. She's greatful that she cant see the future because she would be fearful.

December 2011

They head off to Dr. Sarver for teh ultrasound. They mike her up. BILL tapes the mike to her chest. They joke that they wont find out the sex of the baby. They'd do a reveal and find out together. Boob eats oranges.

Jill says the first trimester was over and they could take a breather. They were excited to find out the GENDER. Off they went...

They sign in and speculate if there will be more after this. Boob says from now on they'll be shaking hands.

Tina, the tech gets them and takes them back. They pull back the modesty sheet... and ruh roh, shaggy... Begin staged part of the story... There's no heartbeat. Theres also no dr.

Michelle asks how big, she says 17 weeks. Michelle accepts that she's dead, just a little body. She cries and asks to pray. They thank god for the children and thank god for having Jubilee for 16 weeks... Michelle cries. Boob prays that the children appreciate life because of this experience.

Michelle says the baby is in a better place and now mentions caleb. I dont remember this from the original shooting. Caleb was edited in to the "letter" to Jubilee... not at the ultrasound...

eta - how is this a "birth?"

[Vivi_music]

I know it's a snark board, but really, the scene when the family sees Josie for the first time gets me.

These kids certainly are brainwashed and Michelle and Jim Bob are the only one responsible for not stopping having kids and jeopardizing the baby's health and Michelle's health. But they seemed so touched and scared seeing baby Josie, I couldn't snark.

[Buzzard]

Pimpin that miscarriage! (part 14)

Michelle rounds up the family to tell them that Jubilee has gone over the rainbow bridge. The kids dont seem to have a reaction. Jinger cries. Michelle rambles about age.

Jill TH - this couldnt happen. Surely its a mistake and she can check heart tones again. She worked on the pregnancy with diet and things... it was different becaue she was involved.

Michelle and Boob pray again. He goes around and kisses the kids.

3 days later Michelle delivers the baby.

Michelle TH - she brought joy for 18 weeks (keeps getting longer, doesnt it???)

The memorial is at cross church. Ah, memories of Josh's instagram "Just buried my lil sis!" The ammo box...

:cracking-up: :cracking-up:

Michelle reads the letter (recorded)... Boob calls it a funeral. Josie colors on the donation cards. They dont play the part where caleb is mentioned. People hug her and "identify with my pain."

They dont show the burial.

[JHeathen]

LOTS AND LOTS of Duggar front-hugging happening at the Jubilee memorial service. Female-female, male-female, you name it. WTH? I thought front hugs were verboten.

[JHeathen]

Every time I see Justin pop up on the screen, I'm like, "Whose kid is THAT?" LOL. Old episodes, new episodes, whichever. Something about that kid just doesn't fit in, or something. :lol:

[Vivi_music]

Every time I see Justin pop up on the screen, I'm like, "Whose kid is THAT?" LOL. Old episodes, new episodes, whichever. Something about that kid just doesn't fit in, or something. :lol:

Hmmm if Jennie and Jordyn are the lost girls, Justin is definitively the lost howler. Oh and Jason too. I always seem to forget him for some unknown reason.

[Buzzard]

Beware the Ides of March (part 15)

Anna takes her pregnancy test hoard in China... its negative... but positive once they're home. Enter the weird pumpkin announcement.

There is no bathrobe over the window of the front door.

They show the ultrasound. They dont look to see what Marcus will be

Anna is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Mac offers her monkey to find out what the sex is.

Anna is wearing the sweater we saw at the "bank" instagram pics.

They go to church to have a pastor reveal the sex. They go to restoration church for their token black friend to make the announcement. See, they're not uptight!

They call them up to the stage... boob films... its a boy. Everyone claps. Anna sidehugs the pastor.

Back at the house Anna dresses Mike. Mike puts a bow in his hair, mac is unsupervised on the sink. They're heading to the midwife in the hummer.

Jill explains that she's studying to be a midwife. Jana is training to be a doula. The plan is for Jill and Jana to come to help deliver. Its an hour drive.

Back in the hummer. Anna doesnt want a roadside birth.

They show up at the midwife. Wonder why they had a "new" midwife. She shows Jill how to take BP. They "enjoyed' having the kids at home, but this time it will be at a birth center.

[Buzzard]

Enter Shakespeare (yeah right, this is the duggars...) Enter a Roman politician! (part 16 - REALLY... 16!!??)

Anna is in labor in the bed. They're waiting for Michelle. The contractions are 2 minutes apart... they have an hour drive. Jana and Jill are at another birth, query is coming to help them get to the birth center. Michelle sits in the front seat, her hair is nice and straight. Query helps anna... Michelle smirks in the front seat.

They drive on, Michelle has her best poker face on. She doesnt look back to Anna or say anything. They get there and go inside. Anna smiles and greets everyone.

Jana says the lord "worked it out" that they were in the area. They get Anna in bed and check her. Her water breaks. They mover her into the tub... fully dressed. She's wearing a beaded shirt.

Anna asks if he'll be OK in the water, she's worried he'll drown. She begs them not to let him die and wants to drain the water.

No one explains the water birth.

He's born, they blur out his butt. She holds him... They take him and hand him to Josh who announces his ridiculous name.

Anna didnt think she'd like the waterbirth but she liked it. Josh wants to take her home this afternoon so the other kids can meet the baby. He's 9 pounds plus.

Michelle looks stoned and says she's been there for all her grandbabies to be born!

They drive up at the house, on the grass... and honk! Is there any other way!??!?!

They introduce him to the kiddos. They take turns holding him.

The rest of the brood arrives. Boob holds him and says that he looks just like him.

The kids do TH's welcoming him to the family/world.

Anna hands Marcus to Mac.

Until tomorrow... night!