SAHD blog- the Boyer sisters

[refugee]

On 10/7/2016 at 0:47 PM, Feministe9000 said:

http://boyersisters.com/2016/10/outfit-butterfly-days/

 

The oldest sister posted on their blog one of their "outfit" posts, but ended up talking about how depressed she is now her sister is gone, and how she "buried the corpse" of who her sister used to be when she started courting.....is this leftover heartbreak from her broken courtship?
Either way, this girl seems to be going through a ROUGH time, despite the sugary sweet posts and the over-the-top 50s outfits, then she ended the post going on a rant about NOT trusting her heart -"As the Lord commands" and not being "of this world", because if she left her "faith bound" life, she knows exactly where she would go?? where is that? a strip club? hang out with men unsupervised and wear pants?
Girl is having a hard time.......clearly!

these girls fascinate me and freak me out at the same time, and i wonder about the parents. I've read through alot of their blog, and it seems like the parents were almost 100% successful in keeping these girls under total control and submission......allowing them to have a WWII tribute group and an obsession with vintage fashion. But apart from that.....i wonder what kind of religious guilt tripping and plenty  of things went on in that house?

 

 

I wonder if some of this has to do with the "brothers and sisters best friends" (there was even a book with that title) theme that was very strong in the patriarchal crowd in the 90s and 00s.  Not "brothers and sisters" literally, could be sisters-and-sisters in an all-girl family. Kids were supposed to forge their strongest bonds with siblings. The isolation played into that. I know our kids didn't play much with the neighborhood kids; they didn't have enough in common. The neighbor kids were watching television and playing "little vampire" (some book or movie?) and our kids were interested in playing the books and stories we were reading (mostly historical fiction, and add in some Robin Hood, knights of the Round Table, cowboys on the Chisholm trail on a cattle drive, and that sort of thing--good, rousing stuff but the neighbor kids had never heard of it).

I've heard this sentiment before from left-behind sibs when another starts to break away from the core sibling group. With those remaining in the fundie world, it's "leaving and cleaving". In the families I know that broke away from the lifestyle, it's college and work and paying more attention to a significant other, and the left-behind sibling shows signs of resentment, depression, even jealousy.

So there you have my .02 psychological analysis. Probably worth that much, too.

On 10/8/2016 at 6:10 AM, Lurky said:

I'd love to see more photos, and if they all have her doing that weird downward glance thing.  I'm guessing it's deliberate, and something to do with modesty, but I find it completely bizarre.  It looks like a very conscious pose, and I have no idea what it's supposed to imply, but it doesn't look natural to me, more play-acting.  Hoping it's just coincidence that these 2 pics have it!

Oh, god.

I know this. I mean, I don't know it because I didn't teach it to my kids, but they ran afoul of it. One kept being accused of being bold, flirtatious -- and she was very hurt, and I was mystified. The kid was so shy!

ETA: The bewildering thing about it in hindsight was that some of the accusations came from friends who were not a part of our patriarchal crowd. I would have called them "fundie lite". That made the accusations all the more bizarre. I mean, I might have expected something like that from the crowd we were a part of, who preached that boys and girls shouldn't even play together. (Though, of course, brothers and sisters did, in some respects, kind of out of necessity when you think about the "siblings best friends" message and the social isolation. Of course, when they played it was with strict attention to gender roles...) OTOH, one of these seemingly "lite" families went to Gregg Harris's church, so maybe it's not surprising at all.

...but I never taught her to keep her eyes down. I heard something later, about female deportment having to do with not looking males right in the eye. It's seen as either challenging or "come hither" behavior.

I naturally feel very uncomfortable looking people in the eye. But it's me. It's not something I was taught, and definitely not something I taught my kids.

We were on the fringes of the fundie crowd, were never more than tolerated by the elite in the group, but our kids still came off deeply wounded.

[KnittingOwl]

On 10/8/2016 at 6:24 AM, AmazonGrace said:

Congrats! The pose on the photo is not such a successful one to me but it will be on their mantelpiece and not mine

Whst is that horsetail coming out of his genitals

It's a sporran. It's a pouch since a kilt doesn't have pockets. You need somewhere to put a flask.

[alba]

On 07/10/2016 at 10:14 PM, Lurky said:

Ok, can we talk about the scarlet elephant in the room - how bright would his outfit be, once he took off his jacket??  Lovely Scottish FJers, is that a real tartan?  I'm hoping it's a legit family tartan, because wow, that's eye-bleedingly red!

It looks like it might be a version of the Royal Stewart tartan, which, according to the Wikipedia article on the topic, is "appropriate for all subjects of Elizabeth II", which pretty much makes it the default tartan for people who don't have a clan tartan, although it wouldn't technically be appropriate if he's not a Commonwealth citizen. That being said, it's more common IME to wear a plain black waistcoat with a kilt, especially a kilt that bright, which would make the whole ensemble a little less loud. And that is a rather, erm, impressive sporran.

Interesting aside about family tartans, for my fellow history-loving FJers:

Tartan wool is the traditional cloth of the Highlands, and is so much associated with that area that, after the Jacobite rebellions (which drew heavy support from the Highlands), were quashed, the government outlawed tartan entirely. It wasn't until Queen Victoria's love for Balmoral and tartanalia that it became a part of Scottish culture in general.

The clan tartans themselves were created by a couple of businessmen who were, I believe, Dutch, in an attempt to capitalise on this newfound national interest in tartan. Traditionally, clans did not have a set tartan. An individual weaver would often have his* own pattern, using the dyes that were easily found in his region as well as a particular thread pattern he was familiar with, and most members of a clan would get their tartan from the same weaver in the same way that most members of a community got their bread from the same baker and their meat from the same butcher.

*Weaving was a man's profession, of course.

[Lurky]

@alba That's fascinating, thanks!  I knew kilts were a relatively recent invention, but I didn't know that.  And I've only ever seen black/dark waistcoats will kilts too (& damn, REALLY want a pic of him jacket-less in that warning-light red)

[samurai_sarah]

4 hours ago, alba said:

(snip)

An individual weaver would often have his* own pattern, using the dyes that were easily found in his region as well as a particular thread pattern he was familiar with, and most members of a clan would get their tartan from the same weaver in the same way that most members of a community got their bread from the same baker and their meat from the same butcher.

*Weaving was a man's profession, of course.

Just to add (Hi fellow history nerd!): Martin Martin in his "A description of the Western Islands of Scotland" (1695! - this is not a typo) writes that for that very reason, people could tell where someone was from, geographically. But people used plants to signify their allegiance to one clan or another. So, some twig of shrubbery stuck in a bonnet would let people know you were a member of this or that clan. Or that you were dedicated to some cause, e.g.: the white rose of the Jacobites.

You could change clans with relative ease, so that system makes a bit more sense than depending on clan tartans. In modern terms it would compare to having to buy a whole new wardrobe every time you move house, if people had depended on clan tartans.

The predecessor of the modern kilt by the way, was the Feileadh Mòr (Great Kilt), also known as "belted plaid". Basically, it was a big blanket, belted around the waist, with the overhang drawn over one shoulder. Women wore Arisaids over their clothes. Same thing, different name, but the patterns tended to be different. Women did not hunt, so camouflage wasn't important. The advantage to the belted plaid is that you're basically using a sleeping bag as everyday-wear. Plus, when it gets wet, wool expands and warms you. You'll still be wet and miserable, but at least you'll be warm. Not a thing to discount in a pastoral society with a mercurial climate!

Sorry, fellow history nerd. :)

[December]

42 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

Martin Martin in his "A description of the Western Islands of Scotland" (1695! - this is not a typo)

I was more wondering if the name "Martin Martin" was a typo!  

But seriously I love all those interesting facts about kilts. Especially since so much about people's "heritage" is just commercialized BS here in the US... it's nice to know there's at least some real tradition behind all the junk history. 

[samurai_sarah]

23 minutes ago, December said:

I was more wondering if the name "Martin Martin" was a typo!  

But seriously I love all those interesting facts about kilts. Especially since so much about people's "heritage" is just commercialized BS here in the US... it's nice to know there's at least some real tradition behind all the junk history. 

I keep on wondering what his parents were thinking, but it's really "Martin Martin"!

 

[JMarie]

You'd think her sister was moving to a faraway land, one devoid of both telephones and Internet access, instead of just getting married and moving out.

[anachronistic]

I feel sorry for her - Jessica? Is she the one mourning Brigid's marriage? How isolated her life must be if she is so bereft because her sister got married. But then again, by the time most people get married, they have lived apart from their siblings since the age of 18 or so, so years have passed, if not decades, since they were a daily part of their life.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I'm a little confused about the most recent blog post. She was engaged at one point so did her sisters have to bury her corpse when she started courting? And then did they dig up said corpse when they broke off the engagement? 

I understand she's upset but I just can't handle the over the top melodrama of her post. Be thankful your sister is not dead. And this may be a very good thing for her. Maybe she will make new friends instead of hanging out with her sisters all the time. I have a feeling the sisters left at home will be courting within the next 18 months. 

[alba]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I'm a little confused about the most recent blog post. She was engaged at one point so did her sisters have to bury her corpse when she started courting? And then did they dig up said corpse when they broke off the engagement? 

I understand she's upset but I just can't handle the over the top melodrama of her post. Be thankful your sister is not dead. And this may be a very good thing for her. Maybe she will make new friends instead of hanging out with her sisters all the time. I have a feeling the sisters left at home will be courting within the next 18 months. 

 

As someone whose sister is *actually* dead, I can't believe she's comparing marriage to death. Not in the same ballpark.

[SolomonFundy]

Charlotte has been going through a similarly troubled post-wedding phase. From her instagram last week:

Quote

This weekend my sister got married. Even though everyone says that a sibling getting married is not a loss, but a gain of a new family member; I can't help but feel intensely the missing face, voice, and reality of my sister's presence after 17 years of never being separated from her. Losses make you so much more acutely aware of the beautiful things that you have *now* and should never take for granted. So here's to change, contentment, and the knowledge that HIS love & presence will never depart from you, even though those you love may for a short while.

And then some more:

Quote

My bouquet from Brigid's wedding / Memories are sort of like flowers. Some live bright, short lives but die away, and wither into nothingness... Others bloom in steady vividness, and dry with their color a little faded, the life that was lived still remaining as a shadow in the brittle petals. We each choose the memories we hold onto and hang on our mental wall like dried bouquets, passing them every so often to brush off the dust and inhale the joy, sorrow, blessing of that time past. 

It seems that neither Charlotte nor Jessica have been able to process their sister's marriage as anything other than a virtual death in the family. Jessica's sadness is perhaps more understandable due to the whirlwind broken engagement/move/end of musical career  that she's had to accept during the transition, but it's amazing to me that neither of these adult women were better equipped to face the inevitable separation of their "cord with three strands".

Once again, I have to give mad props to the Boyers for their transparency during a difficult time, but HOW is this so devastating? Their reaction just baffles me due to the way that most fundy girls are raised. Many of the families we discuss here have married children, and the remaining siblings generally seem to accept matrimony as the natural and welcome conclusion to childhood. The Maxwells in particular are an exception, but the Boyers aren't an exclusive family cult in that way.

 

How do you spend your entire life building Hope Chests and wearing daddy's Purity Finger Shackle without ever realizing what those things mean?

[ladyamylynn]

Get the fuck out of the house and get some damn perspective, ladies. Their reactions are simply pathetic. 

[nickelodeon]

Well damn, I feel bad for them because they're just so vulnerable, but at the same time, guilt-tripping your sister over her happiness and declaring that she is dead to you is NAGL.

[Lurky]

Can you imagine how crappy it is for Brigid, every time she logs onto instagram/looks on the blog/probably on other social media, having this whole "she's dead to us/we're so unhappy" thing.  And everyone who knows them seeing that?

What I HOPE is that just as they are always play-acting with the 50s cosplay, modesty looks etc etc, that this is all a pose too, and in reality everything's fine.  But now I'm living in a fantasy world too!

[Marian the Librarian]

"Bury the corpse" ?? "Brittle petals" ??

Oy VEY...

There is a question I find myself asking with regard to so many situations these days (politics, anyone??) - and so I'll ask it here - *what purpose* is all of this drama serving? What need is it filling?

[Lostie]

It is definitely very dramatic/over the top. But I would have to agree with what refugee said above about it probably being related to the fact that in these families your family (and particularly your siblings) is really all you have as far a friends and socialization goes. It definitely seems over the top, but I even see a similar sentiment from us worldly people when a friend gets married (or, even more so, when they have a kid) because suddenly the person isn't there for you all the time and they can't really just drop their responsibilities when you need them the way they have before. For the rest of us it's just a normal part of growing up, but for unmarried fundies they don't have much else in their lives to compensate for the 'loss'. 

The rest of us have jobs/school and other friends and family, but that's not really the case here. So, do I think she is being over dramatic and even insensitive? Yes. Am I surprised? No.

[Soulhuntress]

proper bras and the corsets definitely need to be paired with the outfits.  And yeah they need a hobby outside the family.  Good grief!

[JeanieCat]

29 minutes ago, Soulhuntress said:

proper bras and the corsets definitely need to be paired with the outfits.  And yeah they need a hobby outside the family.  Good grief!

Sadly, marriage seems to be their only way out! If, for whatever reason, that might not appeal to them at this time , or ever, they're not at liberty to express it! They are stuck at home, with seemingly less to look forward to than before! This is a very sad commentary on patriarchal life!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I know these girls have access to technology. Come on. Now. You can call, Skype, text, FB message, snapchat, or email your sister for fucks sake! I'm sure she will have plenty of time to chat while her husband is at work. 

And did she move far away? Does anyone know?

[Mommit]

I've been following the Boyer sisters for nearly a year now. Up until Brigid's wedding, I felt like though they're very sheltered in their vintage-bubble-fantasy world, they seemed happy. Then things took a bad turn with Jessica's broken engagement, but honestly, that was doomed from the start! They were engaged within such a short time. I doubted they were able to really get to know each other, so it didn't surprise me one bit when it ended. But all this drama since Brigid's wedding has surprised me at first, until I gave it more thought. Of course they're happy for her, but since she's the first to leave the nest, it's left the remaining birds in a tailspin! I can say with near certainty that they don't have very many, if any, friends their own age besides each other. Naturally when one out of three leaves, there's a huge, gaping hole left behind. And it's intensified moreso for Jessica because no matter what she tells herself and the world, she still thinks it should've been her marrying first!

Bottom line is, they need to get out of their bubble and develop friendships and hobbies in the outside world. Imagine the drama when the next one marries and leaves one sad bird alone in the nest!

[ladyamylynn]

They are obviously very bright and talented young women. The fact that the only thing they appear to do is "godly" fashion blogging is a real shame. How about some volunteering at least? I understand that their parents have stunted their education and isolated them, but surely there is something else they could be doing for at least a few hours a week? The Boyer sisters bum me out. 

[Mommit]

What I really want to know now is...WHERE ARE THE WEDDING PICTURES? I'm dying to see the bridesmaids' dresses and the kilts! Also, I'll be scanning the pictures to see if Levi was there.

The only other pic I've seen besides the ones in this thread is a super-wide shot of the inside of the church during the ceremony. It's on their mom's public FB page. Her name is Kathy...

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 hours ago, Mommit said:

I've been following the Boyer sisters for nearly a year now. Up until Brigid's wedding, I felt like though they're very sheltered in their vintage-bubble-fantasy world, they seemed happy. Then things took a bad turn with Jessica's broken engagement, but honestly, that was doomed from the start! They were engaged within such a short time. I doubted they were able to really get to know each other, so it didn't surprise me one bit when it ended. But all this drama since Brigid's wedding has surprised me at first, until I gave it more thought. Of course they're happy for her, but since she's the first to leave the nest, it's left the remaining birds in a tailspin! I can say with near certainty that they don't have very many, if any, friends their own age besides each other. Naturally when one out of three leaves, there's a huge, gaping hole left behind. And it's intensified moreso for Jessica because no matter what she tells herself and the world, she still thinks it should've been her marrying first!

Bottom line is, they need to get out of their bubble and develop friendships and hobbies in the outside world. Imagine the drama when the next one marries and leaves one sad bird alone in the nest!

That's why I think Jessica will get engaged again in the next year and Charlotte will scramble to get married too because she won't want to be the only one left. 

And I guarentee Levi was at the wedding. And I bet it was awkward AF.

[Fascinated]

I've read their blog from time to time but am not well versed in them. I think someone asked upthread if Brigid is moving far away. Does anyone know?  Or is their singing sisters career over simply because she got married?