Bringing Up Bates & Other Bates Family Doings

[Mama Mia]

I hate that lately it's necessary to include a disclaimer for every little neutral to positive thing people say about a fundie, but I'll do it just to be sure :roll:

Disclaimer: I do not hump the Bateseseses legses nor do I think their believes are purple roses and unicorns.

I absolutely second that. I have the same impression. It's just a big relief to know that these kids do not seem to be uncomfortable (at best) or fearful (at worst) at all around their parents. And yes, I think it should be standard that kids feel comfortable around their parents; comfortable enough to make jokes, laugh and enjoy the time together.

Unfortunately we know fundies whose kids' seem to be terrified around their parents all the time and it's a shame we need to even mention it when fundie kids seem to be relaxed around their parents.

+ the Bates girls appear so much more energetic and feeling at ease with their family than the Duggars do and I doubt it's all due to good editing. There's only so much TLC/Up can edit. There's always an essence of authenticity left and if that drop of essence already speaks volumes...well, that says a lot.

Absolutely agree. And to me, it's not just the difference in parent- child interactions -- it's also the sibling interactions that seem more " normal"? Not really the right word but the only one that comes to mind. Not so much in the closeness, friendships, playfulness -- they seem pretty evenly matched in that. But the Duggar kids, except for the smallest children, never seem to bicker. And any teasing is done in just a very, very subdued way. The Bates older kids seem to have their fair share of squabbles and pouting and snarking between them. With a huge family like that it seems very odd that they all get along all the time.

Of course it could be that they are just very different personality types and that the Duggar's, for the most part, are introverted and not relaxed on camera and have especially accommodating personalities. And the Bates are more naturally gregarious and temperamental with less of a verbal screen. But it seems like at least some of the discrepancy is due to how strictly the happy all the time rule is enforced.

I think it also might just be unfortunate that a family with primarily not made for TV individuals happened to have an insane number of kids and get featured on a TLC special.

[Georgiana]

I hate that lately it's necessary to include a disclaimer for every little neutral to positive thing people say about a fundie, but I'll do it just to be sure :roll:

Disclaimer: I do not hump the Bateseseses legses nor do I think their believes are purple roses and unicorns.

I think it's natural that in the broad range of people and personalities we cover here, you end up liking some more than others. People we snark on here range from "I like them as a person, but I hate their beliefs" to "I hate absolutely everything about that person ever" for me.

So I might defend Erin or Jessa, but never Zsu or Jill Rodrigues. It's not that I think their beliefs are less poisonous, just that we have things in common, so I like them a little better as people. One of my best friends IRL is very, very Conservative Catholic, and I think her beliefs are completely wrong, dangerous, and I am critical of and oppose them on all counts. But I can still be her friend, and I still like her as a person.

There's no hater/leghumper dichotomy. You can like several things about a person and not be a leghumper. You can say "I think X is better than Y" and not be a leghumper.

IMHO, leghumpers are those who support these people without question or critique. If you are willing to be as critical of Erin/Chad/Alyssa/John/The Bateses/Duggars/Andersons whoever, you are not a leghumper even if you have a positive reaction once in a while. If you ALWAYS come down on them negatively without question or critique, then you sort of become a FJ Leghumper, and to me, that's just a sheep of a different color.

[nelliebelle1197]

I think that Lawson loves the camera a little too much. Although I guess when you are trying to promote a singing career, that is necessary.

I still think he is hot :embarrassed:

I think quite honestly he is the kind of guy I would have been stuck with had my mom not moved me out of Mississippi to Florida when I was tweenish. It is some sort of residual attraction from childhood.... perhaps? I hope....

I cannot get over the cuteness of Jeb. I want to save that child from the hell of Gothard.

[nelliebelle1197]

I think it's natural that in the broad range of people and personalities we cover here, you end up liking some more than others. People we snark on here range from "I like them as a person, but I hate their beliefs" to "I hate absolutely everything about that person ever" for me.

So I might defend Erin or Jessa, but never Zsu or Jill Rodrigues. It's not that I think their beliefs are less poisonous, just that we have things in common, so I like them a little better as people. One of my best friends IRL is very, very Conservative Catholic, and I think her beliefs are completely wrong, dangerous, and I am critical of and oppose them on all counts. But I can still be her friend, and I still like her as a person.

There's no hater/leghumper dichotomy. You can like several things about a person and not be a leghumper. You can say "I think X is better than Y" and not be a leghumper.

IMHO, leghumpers are those who support these people without question or critique. If you are willing to be as critical of Erin/Chad/Alyssa/John/The Bateses/Duggars/Andersons whoever, you are not a leghumper even if you have a positive reaction once in a while. If you ALWAYS come down on them negatively without question or critique, then you sort of become a FJ Leghumper, and to me, that's just a sheep of a different color.

I get what you are saying but I think there have been some newer posters who are much less critical/more tolerant than folks in the past. It's a culture shift and people have to strike a new balance- newer people maybe have to learn quasi-humping and constantly justifying/excusing pet fundies is not always a well-received thing on here, especially when you are excusing everything, and older people might need to be a little less harsh and more open to see what people are saying. I think formergothardite strikes that balance really well, personally.

[Mama Mia]

Oh Nelliebellie you should go back and read posts from a few years ago!

Some posters gave new meaning to the word intolerant :lol:

For example -- if someone mentioned EVER, even once in a panic, giving a child a small smack on the hand when they were reaching for a stove -- they would be called a horrible child abusing monster by one poster. And some topics --- devolved into "Fuck you! NO fuck you!" At the speed of light :twisted:

The conversation now is so much more balanced and respectful of differing views, overall.

Except for those crazy Duggar threads :cray-cray:

[HuggleMonster]

I don't think so; he's still in school and , according to Kelly, is paying for it. Kelly made it sound like once he pays for it and saves a little, the marriage will happen. Michael said on the show she doesn't even care about getting an engagement ring- just wants to be married to him!

Pretty dang smart of him if you ask me. He knows that a baby would happen pretty quick and I'm hoping he's waiting so they have some money to fall back on. Probably one of the smartest fundies I've heard of if my assumption is correct.

[Justme]

Pretty dang smart of him if you ask me. He knows that a baby would happen pretty quick and I'm hoping he's waiting so they have some money to fall back on. Probably one of the smartest fundies I've heard of if my assumption is correct.

And to keep the quiver size down. If they marry when she's 26, she should be around 27 when the first baby comes.

[HereticHick]

Michael(la) just turned 25. I expect that she and Brandon will marry this spring. If she gets preggers in a few months, she will give birth for the first time a few months after turning 26. Unless she's on track to have a fuckton of twins (and we have no evidence that she is), she won't have 19--or 15--which is good for everyone, and the planet, but they could still have a whole passel of kids.

Brandon (in real life, not tv episode life) supposedly graduated in late November. It is a mystery why they aren't engaged yet, unless they really are and the "reveal" is being saved for a future episode.

However, the bigger mystery to me is what is up with his alleged job at Gothard Headquarters. Kelli Bates seems rather vague about it. Has he started the job? Is this a sign of financial or organizational turmoil at the Gothard mothership? If he has, how long does he need to save up $$ and why? Is it not a permanent job? I keep hoping the Pecan Thief or the Staddons might post some pic of him socializing with the Gothard HQ crowd and give us a clue.

PS I'm not posting a leghumper disclaimer. Fuck the disclaimer Nazis.

[nelliebelle1197]

Michael(la) just turned 25. I expect that she and Brandon will marry this spring. If she gets preggers in a few months, she will give birth for the first time a few months after turning 26. Unless she's on track to have a fuckton of twins (and we have no evidence that she is), she won't have 19--or 15--which is good for everyone, and the planet, but they could still have a whole passel of kids.

Brandon (in real life, not tv episode life) supposedly graduated in late November. It is a mystery why they aren't engaged yet, unless they really are and the "reveal" is being saved for a future episode.

However, the bigger mystery to me is what is up with his alleged job at Gothard Headquarters. Kelli Bates seems rather vague about it. Has he started the job? Is this a sign of financial or organizational turmoil at the Gothard mothership? If he has, how long does he need to save up $$ and why? Is it not a permanent job? I keep hoping the Pecan Thief or the Staddons might post some pic of him socializing with the Gothard HQ crowd and give us a clue.

PS I'm not posting a leghumper disclaimer. Fuck the disclaimer Nazis.

I am not sure that was a comment that deserves a disclaimer!

[16strong]

I am not sure that was a comment that deserves a disclaimer!

You never know around here. :lol:

[Snarkle]

I kept thinking through the latest episode - I hope when Chad's own child comes along, they don't expect Erin and him to rush over to do everything, but it's probably wishful thinking. I also found it telling that they said the Batseseses are good at starting project, but it's Chad who finishes things. It actually ticked me off that he was shown taking beds apart in their back junk room, while the younger boys were fooling around jumping off of the storage trailer. You'd think if they were so disciplined they'd be helping out more (once again, might be the way UP spun it, but it seems that the younger kids are lazier than the older ones, which fits with how the older kids say the younger ones get away with everything). I also looked up when the festival was that they participated in, and Erin would have been about a month along when it was filmed in early October, then the next episode goes to the end of October when Whitney has Bradley.

[Georgiana]

I kept thinking through the latest episode - I hope when Chad's own child comes along, they don't expect Erin and him to rush over to do everything, but it's probably wishful thinking. I also found it telling that they said the Batseseses are good at starting project, but it's Chad who finishes things. It actually ticked me off that he was shown taking beds apart in their back junk room, while the younger boys were fooling around jumping off of the storage trailer. You'd think if they were so disciplined they'd be helping out more (once again, might be the way UP spun it, but it seems that the younger kids are lazier than the older ones, which fits with how the older kids say the younger ones get away with everything). I also looked up when the festival was that they participated in, and Erin would have been about a month along when it was filmed in early October, then the next episode goes to the end of October when Whitney has Bradley.

You know, that arrangement can actually work. I know a family where the FIL is not very handy, but the SIL is. The SIL shows up all the time to do projects and brings the kids along. Grandma or the other siblings watch the babies, and mom has some time to get caught up on chores or errands/be baby free for a bit.

The unwritten rule is that, except in cases of emergency, they only ask SIL to come over when he can bring the kids. It ends up being a win-win-win situation for everyone!

But apart from that, I agree with you. It's like Duggar-time. It's not something to be PROUD of that you can't finish your own projects and need people to bail you out. I mean, everyone needs to call on family from time to time, but to say that you ALWAYS do it? There's something wrong with that. Though honestly, I am not surprised. That's how the Bateses have lived their lives: start something, and then expect others to bail them out when they realize they don't have the resources to finish.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I kept thinking through the latest episode - I hope when Chad's own child comes along, they don't expect Erin and him to rush over to do everything, but it's probably wishful thinking. I also found it telling that they said the Batseseses are good at starting project, but it's Chad who finishes things. It actually ticked me off that he was shown taking beds apart in their back junk room, while the younger boys were fooling around jumping off of the storage trailer. You'd think if they were so disciplined they'd be helping out more (once again, might be the way UP spun it, but it seems that the younger kids are lazier than the older ones, which fits with how the older kids say the younger ones get away with everything). I also looked up when the festival was that they participated in, and Erin would have been about a month along when it was filmed in early October, then the next episode goes to the end of October when Whitney has Bradley.

Honestly, I think that, no matter how big your family is, the further you are in the birth order, the more you get away with, the lazier you get to be, and the more the oldest child(ren) resents the leniency granted to you.

[canis]

For those who don't have Up Tv. The episodes are on Youtube. Is it allowed to post the link?

[bal maiden]

Episodes are on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/user/Rmyosotis/videos

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I bet a part if what attracted Erin to Chad is his drive and ability to jump in and do things. Chad reminds me of MrSquirrel in that way, down to giving people haircuts despite not being professionally trained. He's the polar opposite of my dad, which is what I wanted in a life partner. If he doesn't know, he'll figure it out and get it done! I'm that way too, though, so for me it's not about specifically needing a man to do everything for me, just wanting that in a partner.

[BullyJBG]

Thanks for the link!

:D

[Ofglen]

Chad in that last episode tho... I've been defrauded.

[Eternalbluepearl]

There are so many people in the Bates family, yet how they ever managed before Chad Paine is a mystery.

It's strange to me to see a family of 19 kids complaining about how they only have 1 family member in diapers. It's like people that collect anything though I guess, never enough. Salt & pepper shakers, offspring, what have you.

[ladyaudley]

I could finally binge! yaaay! Chad is quite defrauding, I've gotta say.. and he and Erin are cute together. It was quite a surprise to see Erin "I can't cook and we all know it!" cook from scratch with the little kids visiting, while Alyssa "Man, she can cook!" didn't even bother to bake the ready-made cookies that she offered to make with the kids.

Carlin and Tori are quite grating, but then they are teenage girls. Those are always a bit grating. I did love Tori (or was it Carlin?) telling a story to all the little kids at the campsite, getting into it and making it a show for them. Also interesting to see their faith being far more centre stage now that they're on UP.

/ramble

[Daenerys]

Chad in that last episode tho... I've been defrauded.

Man, if I end up with a husband even close to as attractive and loving as Erin I'm gonna feel like I've won the lottery. Every time he looks at her I'm just melting at the adorableness.

[speshulsnowflake]

Man, if I end up with a husband even close to as attractive and loving as Erin I'm gonna feel like I've won the lottery. Every time he looks at her I'm just melting at the adorableness.

Count me in on the Chad love bandwagon. Especially after the article in people where Erin talked about him *gasp* doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry every day while she was sick. It's sad that those things impress us when reading about fundies, but they do. Also, you gotta love a man who can build things. After seeing Jessa and Jill's drips, I cannot get over how lucky Erin is. I have no doubt that they'll be loving parents, even if they are closed-minded.

Alyssa is just too young, and she seems to have the same maternal chip I do (none).

[Callipygian]

What really struck me was how well the little kids (from Addallee on down) articulated their thoughts. I don't know if they were just parroting back what they were told to say, or giving their own answers, but it's night and day compared to the answers given by the Duggar kids in that age range.

[feministxtian]

I've also noticed that the Bates kids don't seem to be as "mush mouthed" as the Duggar kids. They seem to be more articulate, better educated (Kelly has said she uses ABeka curriculum which isn't bad for fundie curriculum) and actually have personalities.

[lilith]

Count me in on the Chad love bandwagon. Especially after the article in people where Erin talked about him *gasp* doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry every day while she was sick. It's sad that those things impress us when reading about fundies, but they do. Also, you gotta love a man who can build things. After seeing Jessa and Jill's drips, I cannot get over how lucky Erin is. I have no doubt that they'll be loving parents, even if they are closed-minded.

Alyssa is just too young, and she seems to have the same maternal chip I do (none).

I know, for all Alyssa's talk about living kids and wanting like 10 of them she didn't sound at all excited by the prospect and her interaction with her nieces and nephews wasn't particularly natural or warm. Which is fine, I know I wasn't particularly into hanging out with kids or planning a massive family at 20, but it sucks that she needs to play lip service to the idea.