Lori and Ken: The Big Ball of Crazy -Multiple Merges

[salex]

Ok, I'm going to just have to stop even trying to submit on my phone or my tablet.... or, if this message is already here somewhere but I can't find it, sorry.

I have been pondering his renewed "beat your wife and make her shut up, you poor downtrodden super husbands married to evil bitches who are just asking to be pushed against a wall" combined with his "Even if a woman IS better qualified or equally qualified, the job should go to the man because the man feels bad if he doesn't earn a lot of money for his stay at home wife AND all jobs really belong to men so one working woman steals from two men, her husband and the man whose credentials were not as good as hers so he didn't get the job" whine the other night.

I have to wonder. Ken and Lori were doing pretty well, I think, when he was more or less a one man band working from his home. But add in his son-- and then his son in law-- and salaries have increased a boat load, even if the youngsters aren't getting as much per hour as Ken. They will know what they bill out at, and they won't be expecting to give daddio too high a percentage of what they bring in, and I know this from being part of a management team that once had 30 plus consultants working for us.

Add in that Lori keeps writing posts about how important it is for parents to help their young married children financially so that the wives don't have to work (and that story about how part time work made it impossible for her daughter to function and get supper on the table for her student husband-- oh the humanity--) so I'm guessing some money is going out for helping the "kids". AND, did someone say that they gave a house to one of the kid couples or are letting one of the young couples live rent free in a house they owned? IF so, that would mean what was likely a previous rental income is no longer bringing in cash.

So, if for the first time in a long time Ken is feeling a bit of a financial pinch and some evil whore of Babylon woman got one of his contracts, by being better qualified or equally qualified (the bitch) , it might be why he's on his latest tear.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm going to persecute Ken by actually quoting his words from the super-secret comments section, because I also found them disturbing:

Ken:

"Accept as a premise that she lacks any modicum of self-discipline;"

This now becomes a fact in evidence for the example given, yet you and Patt want to keep changing the facts. This is typical woman play; if the facts do not match up with an argument you simply change them. You can't in this situation because the facts are stated as facts, no room to question them. I know that is frustrating for you you, but this was done for a purpose to try and prevent muddying the water with presuppositions one has no basis for just because they do not want to deal with the particular illustration at hand without blaming the husband. I see it all the time from women when they argue. They think they are so logical, yet they throw out the facts, ignore the facts or make up their own facts so that they can feel they are winning the argument. All the while they take comfort in their seeming logic.

This is a totally unhinged rant against all women, triggered by a suggestion that maybe, just maybe, referring to wives as selfish, controlling shrews might be unhelpful.

ETA:

I think I recall Ken once mentioning that some female consultants in his field had popped up in recent years, giving him some competition.

Orthodontist practice consultants don't do heavy physical labor, or other exclusively "manly" tasks. They need to do things like listen well, understand interpersonal dynamics, and create some scheduling templates. Since it is work that is flexible and that you can do from home, and since more and more women are becoming orthodontists, I wouldn't be surprised if Ken was feeling the pinch.

Honestly, this isn't about the anonymous husbands needing help. This is about Ken, and his pathological hatred of any woman who asserts herself or dares to have an opinion different from his own.

We have just found ourselves a marriage mentor who is more toxic than Lori.

[usmcmom]

"Orthodontist practice consultants don't do heavy physical labor, or other exclusively "manly" tasks."

OOOOHHHHHH-uh. That's why Ken chose this field. But if we go to war; you can bet he'll be the one Congress calls upon to schedule those battles.

"We need a battle plan men! Get me Ken Alexander!"

"Uh...sir. He's hiding under his bed and won't come out."

[formergothardite]

Seriously, Ken needs to watch out because this is the age of people using Google and wouldn't be hard to find out that Ken Alexander things women are too dumb to debate and have to make up facts.

And yes, something is triggering his outright hatred towards women. He has always looked down on women, but he seems to hate all women now.

[polecat]

Ok, I'm going to just have to stop even trying to submit on my phone or my tablet.... or, if this message is already here somewhere but I can't find it, sorry.

I have been pondering his renewed "beat your wife and make her shut up, you poor downtrodden super husbands married to evil bitches who are just asking to be pushed against a wall" combined with his "Even if a woman IS better qualified or equally qualified, the job should go to the man because the man feels bad if he doesn't earn a lot of money for his stay at home wife AND all jobs really belong to men so one working woman steals from two men, her husband and the man whose credentials were not as good as hers so he didn't get the job" whine the other night.

I have to wonder. Ken and Lori were doing pretty well, I think, when he was more or less a one man band working from his home. But add in his son-- and then his son in law-- and salaries have increased a boat load, even if the youngsters aren't getting as much per hour as Ken. They will know what they bill out at, and they won't be expecting to give daddio too high a percentage of what they bring in, and I know this from being part of a management team that once had 30 plus consultants working for us.

Add in that Lori keeps writing posts about how important it is for parents to help their young married children financially so that the wives don't have to work (and that story about how part time work made it impossible for her daughter to function and get supper on the table for her student husband-- oh the humanity--) so I'm guessing some money is going out for helping the "kids". AND, did someone say that they gave a house to one of the kid couples or are letting one of the young couples live rent free in a house they owned? IF so, that would mean what was likely a previous rental income is no longer bringing in cash.

So, if for the first time in a long time Ken is feeling a bit of a financial pinch and some evil whore of Babylon woman got one of his contracts, by being better qualified or equally qualified (the bitch) , it might be why he's on his latest tear.

You'd think if Lorken had done such a good job rearing their perfect kids, the perfect kids would be financially independent.

[salex]

I'm going to persecute Ken by actually quoting his words from the super-secret comments section, because I also found them disturbing:

Ken:

This is a totally unhinged rant against all women, triggered by a suggestion that maybe, just maybe, referring to wives as selfish, controlling shrews might be unhelpful.

ETA:

I think I recall Ken once mentioning that some female consultants in his field had popped up in recent years, giving him some competition.

Orthodontist practice consultants don't do heavy physical labor, or other exclusively "manly" tasks. They need to do things like listen well, understand interpersonal dynamics, and create some scheduling templates. Since it is work that is flexible and that you can do from home, and since more and more women are becoming orthodontists, I wouldn't be surprised if Ken was feeling the pinch.

Honestly, this isn't about the anonymous husbands needing help. This is about Ken, and his pathological hatred of any woman who asserts herself or dares to have an opinion different from his own.

We have just found ourselves a marriage mentor who is more toxic than Lori.

Wow, and I thought is winey whine was something. He's finally just letting it all out, isn't he.

I was pretty amused by his bitching that the women's bible studies only had the woman's side, while he had the truth (which he now calls facts in this bit) because he had talked to the Super Husband! What made me laugh is that in reality, Ken was functioning as the male version of the women's bible study.

And, nothing is more endearing than an asshole calling all "typical" women illogica liars. I am very glad he and lori never divorced, it saved some other poor woman from ending up with him.

Sometimes it is hard to be amused at his stupidity, because while I don't know or associate with many fundies in real life, the fact there are still large numbers of men who truly despise me and dismiss my intellect simply because I'm female is disheartening. I thought they were older than Ken and dying off.

Is it wrong to wish poverty, pestilence and impotence on a person, especially when he wishes slavery on me?

[PrairieGirl]

Someone is messing with us, right? I mean, c'mon. Ken and Lori CANNOT be real people. They cannot be. I refuse to believe. Please please please please please tell me that one of you brilliant peeps has been fucking with us all this time, and one of you is actually Lorken. I will bow down to you, honest I will.

But please tell me these are not actual people who occupy this earth. Please. I am very scared.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Ken would be the first to jump on anyone counseling a wife who suggested that she might be mistreated or abused, after hearing just her side of the story.

Somehow, though, if a man says it to his basketball buddies or emails it to a stranger he found on the internet - well, that's the TRUTH, and don't be a typical woman daring to challenge established facts.

[usmcmom]

I'm pretty sure than when you don't have small children and you don't work or have outside hobbies there would be no housework left to do that would take 2-3 hours per day. I mean, if your home is literally all you have and there's nobody to mess it up and you have nothing else to do how could you possibly have that much work to do per day?

Interesting how he posts about internet addiction considering he and his wife can't keep their fat mouths shut online to save themselves.

Re: your first paragraph. You are exactly right. I am one of those women and there's not much left to do after cleaning the house and cooking for my husband and me, so thank goodness I do have outside interests. Some days I spend lots of time on the internet. Some days I have lunch with friends, spend time in my craft room, work on household projects like recovering dining chairs or something. I admit, some days I don't do much at all, but I really do try to keep busy. Interestingly, when I run out of things to do, I tend to cook extra meals or bake - the very thing Ken thinks women don't do enough.

I also love the irony of Ken's rant about internet time, considering he and Lori are addicted to checking comments and responding with self righteous sermons.

[Rainytown]

I thought Ken's post today was very disturbing.

What does that mean, being a man? Here is Ken's scary hint at what that means to him. He complained that "society constraints" prevent husbands from fixing these problems and he was asked what this meant.

Shorter Ken: He hits her.

[salex]

They find perfectly normal marriages, where men do some chores and parenting, and where women feel free to criticize occasionally and not work themselves ragged... Then they work hard to convince the men that they should be kings of the castle and not have to endure that kind of crap. Then the husband feels crappy, becomes demanding, and uses spiritual abuse to make the wife feel crappy, and/or loose her temper, and/or become passive aggressive. Ta-da, crappy marriage.

What I find interesting about this idea is that 1) I believe you are accurate, and I suspect they tie it to the men's salvation in some way-- since they go on and on about how egalitarian marriages are sinful marriages and 2) it is sort of like a love bombing to get them to join a cult, and 3) it seems to me the guys who would be most susceptible to this are guys who are feeling powerless elsewhere so the idea that at home everyone damn well better do whatever inane thing I think of (like standing up in pain when I stand to sing at church :? ) or I can punish them.

I am stunned how many people on my fakebook seem to think that stupid umbrella thing (which I've never seen in real life, only from weirdos fundies on the internet) is accurate and that I go to God through my husband and he goes through Jesus, apparently taking me with him. It is like there is a shadow culture that I never knew existed!

[jerkit]

Someone is messing with us, right? I mean, c'mon. Ken and Lori CANNOT be real people. They cannot be. I refuse to believe. Please please please please please tell me that one of you brilliant peeps has been fucking with us all this time, and one of you is actually Lorken. I will bow down to you, honest I will.

But please tell me these are not actual people who occupy this earth. Please. I am very scared.

I have this thought at least once a week

[August]

I'm pleasantly surprised. I thought it was going to involve blowjobs.

[August]

Horrible marriage is a natural by-product of having one spouse coerced into complete submission on every topic, regardless of ability. So, that would be most fundie marriages :lol: Miserable because they don't allow for the wife to be her own person. Some might be kind of happy if the wife totally checks out and becomes a shell going through the holy motions, only letting herself think on approved subjects. Seriously, i don't know of more than a couple happy (TRULY fulfilled and content) fundie wives who haven't done the Jill Rodrigues style "brain-washing for a clean brain" routine. Maybe Ken should use that phrase for the name of his boot camp. :doh:

Reading Created to Be His Helpmeet clearly exposes all the misery fundie wives have to go through. Libby Anne did a whole series on her blog, breaking down every chapter and showing just what's wrong with that way of life - it was awesome detox. :D

It makes the husband miserable too. Imagine having an extra adult-aged child in the house, and you have to do everything, decide everything, take control and responsibility for everything. The opposite of those days when you get home and discover they've paid the gas bill, or had the car serviced, or cooked dinner or put the laundry away or organised an outing for the weekend. Nope, in those marriages it's all on the man. He has to decides and organise everything. Awful.

[moodygirl86]

WIVES need to learn to live without the internet?!? My husband and I were watching last week's South Park episode, which was making fun of the newest form of entertainment--watching videos on YouTube of other people playing a video game and making comments on it, rather than actually playing the game yourself. I gave my husband a look, because that's what he does. He spends hours watching a live stream of his best friend playing a computer game. He replied, "What? It's why I have two computer monitors." Ah yes, two computer monitors, which he used to watch so much live streaming of other people playing computer games that we surpassed our internet usage's data limit. My husband confessed that if it wasn't for me, he would be playing computer games over the Internet from 7pm to 3am every night.

I can live without the internet because I have a lot of real, hands-on hobbies. My husband, whom I love dearly? I don't think he could survive.

The only person I've ever spoken to who literally couldn't cope without the Internet was also a man. He was one of our tenants at the council, and he'd rung us to report that there was a leak from his bathroom upstairs dripping into one of his living room plugs. I told him to switch off the electricity at the mains and we'd send out an electrician and a plumber as soon as we could. He yelled, "WHAT, AND MISS OUT ON MY INTERNET? I'LL PROSECUTE YOU IF YOU'RE NOT OUT WITHIN FIVE MINUTES, THIS SHOULD BE PRIORITY!" Exactly, it is priority. And he should have been prioritising his safety above his fucking Facebook or whatever he couldn't bear to miss for the next 24 hours.

As for Ken, at least us wimminz appear to have gone up in his estimation. He usually talks down to us like we're little kids, doesn't he? That boot camp remark brings us up at least to the level of delinquent teenage girls.

[Hisey]

I have to wonder. Ken and Lori were doing pretty well, I think, when he was more or less a one man band working from his home. But add in his son-- and then his son in law-- and salaries have increased a boat load, even if the youngsters aren't getting as much per hour as Ken. They will know what they bill out at, and they won't be expecting to give daddio too high a percentage of what they bring in, and I know this from being part of a management team that once had 30 plus consultants working for us.

Add in that Lori keeps writing posts about how important it is for parents to help their young married children financially so that the wives don't have to work (and that story about how part time work made it impossible for her daughter to function and get supper on the table for her student husband-- oh the humanity--) so I'm guessing some money is going out for helping the "kids". AND, did someone say that they gave a house to one of the kid couples or are letting one of the young couples live rent free in a house they owned? IF so, that would mean what was likely a previous rental income is no longer bringing in cash.

So, if for the first time in a long time Ken is feeling a bit of a financial pinch and some evil whore of Babylon woman got one of his contracts, by being better qualified or equally qualified (the bitch) , it might be why he's on his latest tear.

Yes, exactly! Lori boasts about her wonderful homeschooling, but I don't think any of her kids can support themselves, except the orthodontist son who only recently started working.

The oldest was a ballet dancer. That is wonderful, but somewhere I read that she works only part-time at ballet schools making around $20-25/hour. Don't quote me on that figure, but that's what I seem to remember. You can't make a living on that hourly rate working PT.

Her oldest son earns his living by working with Ken. That means Ken's business has to provide a living for two families, instead of one.

The second son, their pride and joy, is an orthodontist. Oh, my! He can call himself doctor.

Lori's youngest, Cassi, seems like a nice kid but has drunk her mother's Koolaid. She can't work full time, though her husband is a student, because it is too tiring. She "only wanted to be a wife and mother." She got a teaching degree because her dad wanted her to have a backup plan, but never used it. If you read her facebook (or maybe it was Lori's) she still asks mom for things she wants for Xmas (and hints that she and hubby need a new table). Come on, Cassi! You are 24!

Three out of four kids who are not supporting themselves. Not a real success story in the homeschooling dept. And the world has changed since Ken began his consulting practice. Nowadays, struggling orthodontists can get all sorts of ideas and support online for free. An orthodontist could even say, "You might try this idea Ken Alexander suggested to me. . . "

[Mango]

I do wonder if the relatively common nature of Ken's name has prevented his business from going smash- anyone googling him is likely to find a LOT of people/results without doing a fairly targeted search.

[cindyluvs24]

I wonder if the reason Ken hasn't left Lori is that California is a community property state.

[FJismyheadship]

Yes, exactly! Lori boasts about her wonderful homeschooling, but I don't think any of her kids can support themselves, except the orthodontist son who only recently started working.

The oldest was a ballet dancer. That is wonderful, but somewhere I read that she works only part-time at ballet schools making around $20-25/hour. Don't quote me on that figure, but that's what I seem to remember. You can't make a living on that hourly rate working PT.

Her oldest son earns his living by working with Ken. That means Ken's business has to provide a living for two families, instead of one.

The second son, their pride and joy, is an orthodontist. Oh, my! He can call himself doctor.

Lori's youngest, Cassi, seems like a nice kid but has drunk her mother's Koolaid. She can't work full time, though her husband is a student, because it is too tiring. She "only wanted to be a wife and mother." She got a teaching degree because her dad wanted her to have a backup plan, but never used it. If you read her facebook (or maybe it was Lori's) she still asks mom for things she wants for Xmas (and hints that she and hubby need a new table). Come on, Cassi! You are 24!

Three out of four kids who are not supporting themselves. Not a real success story in the homeschooling dept. And the world has changed since Ken began his consulting practice. Nowadays, struggling orthodontists can get all sorts of ideas and support online for free. An orthodontist could even say, "You might try this idea Ken Alexander suggested to me. . . "

If oldest daughter is working 20 hours a week making 25 dollars an hour, thats 500 a week and 2000 a month. How is that not a living wage? Is that the location she is in? I wish I made that much money, I would be very content.

[polecat]

If oldest daughter is working 20 hours a week making 25 dollars an hour, thats 500 a week and 2000 a month. How is that not a living wage? Is that the location she is in? I wish I made that much money, I would be very content.

She could get by where I live on that, but she wouldn't have lots left over at the end of the month. I would be quite surprised if she could get by that in SoCal, though. Combined with whatever her husband makes, though, and it'd be a nice little extra for their income.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I want to know SO BADLY where they find these horrible marriages of horrible people. They have infinite supply of horror stories and it blows my freaking mind. Where are these people coming from? Do I live in a happy marriage bubble and I just can't see it?

According to Ken,

they Google Dealing with Difficult Wives, and find us and ask for help. I am asking for suggestions, and your suggestions seem to be everything they are already doing to try to mitigate the situation and keep the marriage in tact.

Hey, Ken's discovered Google Tactics!

These men, btw, have clearly NOT tried everything that's been suggested in the comments. Ken has decided to reject the idea that referring to your wife as a selfish, difficult shrew might not be good for your marriage. In fact, he seems to be rejecting any suggestion that doesn't involve the husband "disciplining" a wayward wife. Having an actual conversation and problem solving together are not things that he discusses either.

[bluehydrangea]

Based on that excerpt, I vote that we send Ken to "Proper Comma Use" bootcamp. My God, he sucks!

[DGayle]

LINK, PLEASE

[jerkit]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/12/wimpy-husbands-with-rebellious-wives.html

[patsymae]

"I admit, some days I don't do much at all, but I really do try to keep busy."

Guess what? Some days you don't have to "do much at all." Unless someone else (that you've prior agreed to with, like an employer, or someone you said you would give a ride to and then didn't, or your dying relative that you aren't showing up for), you don't have to "do" anything. Unless you are a serial killer (in which case you'd be doing something), you owe nobody what you do with your days.

And to throw this into the mix, so much better to not do much at all (suspect you mean not doing anything overtly active as seen by other people) than be a Juggar jerk.