Lori and Ken: The Big Ball of Crazy -Multiple Merges

[usmcmom]

I have to wonder if he's ever put his hands on Lori in such a way.

The way he's condoning it...I'm sure he has. Just like he reminds us that the reaction to porn is worse than viewing porn. Now we have him remind us how righteous it is to restrain a woman.

I wonder how Ken would feel if he was in a disagreement with another man, and that man shoved him against the wall and immobilized him, leaned in real close and whispered "We're going to stop this arguing and do it my way. Got it?" Let's see Ken promote this kind of behavior in ANY relationship, since he likes to remind us that ANY relationship has to have a leader and a follower.

The topic of abusing one's wife like this came up with my son the other day. He said "Well, if I did that to my wife, I know I can't come home to you and Dad when she kicks me out; cause you'd both beat me black and blue." And I was like "You got that right, buddy." He knows how to treat a woman because he follows his dad's example.

Speaking of....I truly worry about Lori's daughters-in-law...what if Lori's sons are following their father's example? I'm pretty sure Ryan is and has probably pinned Erin to the wall several times. :evil: :evil:

[eh02]

Posts like this do two things for me:

1. They make me unbelievably sad for the women who are grabbed/pinned/slapped/etc by their husbands. It causes me to stop and pray for their safety.

2. It makes me unbelievably grateful for my sweet husband.

This. To see the system of abuse written so carefully by an abuser advising and validating other abusers - it gives me chills. It is just so terrifying that victims can actually be made to believe that they deserve someone treating them like a child that is under someone else's authority and needs "disciplining." Actually, scratch that, because even treating children this way is wrong.

It is truly disturbing that people could possibly seek out someone like this for counsel. Really stop and think about the fact that he told someone to VIOLATE THEIR RESTRAINING ORDER. This man thinks his authority over another woman is so strong and so absolute that he doesn't even care if he is breaking the law. It is terrifying.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Her example is deliberately dishonest. "Not gaining too much weight" is an entirely different issue from ensuring that someone is not losing weight.

As well, I assume that Ken didn't actually need to "insist" on this, since Lori would agree that she needed to do this or her doctor would have suggested it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Here is the comment that I submitted. She hasn't approved it yet:
Lori:

I assume you are referring to Genesis 12:13?

If you read on to Genesis 12:17, it says "But the LORD afflicted Pharoah and his household with mighty plagues on account of Sarai, the wife of Abram. Pharoah sent for Abram and said, "What is this you have done to me! Why did you not tell me that she was your wife?"

I know we discussed another passage with Sarah and Abraham before, where Sarah demands that Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael away, and God tells Abraham to hearken to Sarah's voice. You mentioned that not everything done by Old Testament figures should be an example for us.

You've made the excellent point in previous posts that wives should not be controlling toward their husbands, even if they believe that they are doing what is right. An example that came up repeatedly was how you tried to control what Ken ate. It sounds like you had a good motivation in that you genuinely worried about his weight and health, but it backfired because he felt controlled and also felt that the nagging was a sign that you didn't really love and accept him as he was. [Please let me know if I got any part of this wrong!]

The word that caught my eye in your example is "insist". If a wife recognizes a weight issue and wants her husband to accompany her while exercising and eating healthy and wants some sort of weekly weigh-in to check her progress, that's great. In your example, though, the husband is insisting and the wife is resisting. It's quite possible, as it was with you and Ken, that the husband may have good intentions but the wife feels controlled and/or gets the message that he does not love her as she is.

Many obesity experts have observed that fat shaming simply doesn't work, and that it can be counter-productive.
http://www.weightymatters.ca/2011/05/br ... their.html
http://sett.com/dicktalens/the-myth-of- ... -move-more

Here's why:
Maintaining a healthy weight is a long-term commitment, not a quick fix.
If everything associated with losing weight feels bad, someone won't stick with it. It doesn't feel good to step on a scale and be shamed by your spouse. It doesn't feel comfortable to run if you don't have good technique and have fat bouncing around. It doesn't feel good to eat just salads if your body is craving other foods.
At some point, someone gets sick of feeling bad, and they do what they usually do when they feel bad - they turn to food for comfort. It's quite possible that the wife who is forced to weigh in may cope with her feelings of shame and fear of being unloved by binge eating when he's not around. It can become a vicious cycle.

[jerkit]

Her example is deliberately dishonest. "Not gaining too much weight" is an entirely different issue from ensuring that someone is not losing weight.

As well, I assume that Ken didn't actually need to "insist" on this, since Lori would agree that she needed to do this or her doctor would have suggested it.

Lori responded to the bolded by saying

I then responded to the women that maybe this husband cares about his wife's health also since it is a well-known fact today that being overweight causes MANY health problems.

Even though scale weight can vary wildly based on numerous factors and weekly weigh-ins are not even remotely a good marker of overall health. She doesn't care.

You're right, her example is deliberately dishonest. She set it up so that when she got the wrong answer, she could swoop in with her shining halo and look like the Godly Truth Mentor that she is(n't).

[formergothardite]

I joyfully look forward to the day that Lori has to pull her blog because it is destroying Ken's business. Then these two miserable, hateful people will be stuck with just each other.

[jerkit]

I joyfully look forward to the day that Lori has to pull her blog because it is destroying Ken's business. Then these two miserable, hateful people will be stuck with just each other.

I know I said before that “ain’t nobody got time for that†but it really wouldn’t take a great deal of time to simply post links to Ken’s most hateful posts as business reviews. Hmm…

[browncoatslytherin]

I know I said before that “ain’t nobody got time for that†but it really wouldn’t take a great deal of time to simply post links to Ken’s most hateful posts as business reviews. Hmm…

he certainly puts it out there like it could never be tracked back to him. surprise, kenny boy! goggle tactics. we has them.

[jerkit]

he certainly puts it out there like it could never be tracked back to him. surprise, kenny boy! goggle tactics. we has them.

He uses his full name on the blog. How the heck could links to the posts NOT be tracked back to him?!

[browncoatslytherin]

He uses his full name on the blog. How the heck could links to the posts NOT be tracked back to him?!

he probably thinks blogs are sooper sekrit. like blog comment sections.

[jerkit]

Lori deleted this harmless comment:

I think if the wife asks her husband to do this, than it's fine. Otherwise it could lead to anxiety or even an eating disorder. I think that husband would be much better off telling his wife he wants them to exercise together, requesting healthy meals for dinner, etc.

[jerkit]

he probably thinks blogs are sooper sekrit. like blog comment sections.

SOOPER SEKRIT comment section!!!

[formergothardite]

From Ken's posting here I really don't think he understands how the internet works. I think it genuinely terrified him when he read here that people were considering contacting his clients because it never occurred to him that people would link what he wrote on Lori's blog to his business. Despite what he claims, that is pretty much the only reason he came here. I think he has reassured himself that no one is going to contact his clients and that his clients will never, ever be able to connect his business name to his woman-hating blog name.

You would think one of his sons would tell him that it can all come back to bite him in the ass, but I suspect they either are just like Ken or terrified of their mother.

ETA: All it would take is one person with time on their hands, the knowledge of how to make sure Ken can never figure out their location and about a day to let every client know about Ken's thoughts on women and leave links as business reviews. No company that employees women and serves women is going to want to be associated with Ken if this information is made known to them.

[browncoatslytherin]

From Ken's posting here I really don't think he understands how the internet works.

ding ding ding ding ding! we have a winner! of course, ken will never admit to his lack of knowledge because he's a man and we're but lowly womens.

[jerkit]

From Ken's posting here I really don't think he understands how the internet works. I think it genuinely terrified him when he read here that people were considering contacting his clients because it never occurred to him that people would link what he wrote on Lori's blog to his business. Despite what he claims, that is pretty much the only reason he came here. I think he has reassured himself that no one is going to contact his clients and that his clients will never, ever be able to connect his business name to his woman-hating blog name.

You would think one of his sons would tell him that it can all come back to bite him in the ass, but I suspect they either are just like Ken or terrified of their mother.

ETA: All it would take is one person with time on their hands, the knowledge of how to make sure Ken can never figure out their location and about a day to let every client know about Ken's thoughts on women and leave links as business reviews. No company that employees women and serves women is going to want to be associated with Ken if this knowledge is public.

LOL. They're the same so my dog could make that connection :P

Ken was also adamant that the italicized was slander. LOfreakingL. Copy-pasting links is certainly not slander, Ken dear ;)

[formergothardite]

He has his picture on the blog so it isn't like he can even claim it is a different Ken Alexander. Seriously, he isn't bright.

[2xx1xy1JD]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I discovered that Girl 2's orthodontist is the past-president of an orthodontists' association, and actually found a presentation that Ken prepared at that same annual meeting where our ortho was elected.

This ortho actually has a really cool office design and very efficient systems in place. I like the treatment coordinator, and may ask her about which consultants they have used.

[Note to Ken if you are reading:

I do not do libel.

I do, however, directly quote people from time and time, providing my original sources. If the information was not obtained from a confidential source, it is fair game.

Now, I don't think that someone is responsible for the views of their family members. I don't think that your business should suffer because of Lori's hobby. YOU, however, have posted under your own name on a public blog a thoroughly crazy rant about women lacking the ability to think logically, as well as another bizarre rant about women in the workforce being the Harlot of Babylon. If I am speaking to someone about orthodontal practices and they are considering consultants, that is relevant information and links may be provided. A close family friend is an female orthodontist of Iraqi descent. I'm sure she'd enjoy the Harlot of Babylon reference.]

[FJismyheadship]

Well DUH thats why Aunt Ginny is always wrong! Even the way she spells her name is wrong! Haven't you noticed?

[jerkit]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I discovered that Girl 2's orthodontist is the past-president of an orthodontists' association, and actually found a presentation that Ken prepared at that same annual meeting where our ortho was elected.

This ortho actually has a really cool office design and very efficient systems in place. I like the treatment coordinator, and may ask her about which consultants they have used.

[Note to Ken if you are reading:

I do not do libel.

I do, however, directly quote people from time and time, providing my original sources. If the information was not obtained from a confidential source, it is fair game.

Now, I don't think that someone is responsible for the views of their family members. I don't think that your business should suffer because of Lori's hobby. YOU, however, have posted under your own name on a public blog a thoroughly crazy rant about women lacking the ability to think logically, as well as another bizarre rant about women in the workforce being the Harlot of Babylon. If I am speaking to someone about orthodontal practices and they are considering consultants, that is relevant information and links may be provided. A close family friend is an female orthodontist of Iraqi descent. I'm sure she'd enjoy the Harlot of Babylon reference.]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

Please don't forget to link to Ken's posts here and on Lori's blog about how it is acceptable and recommended to grab your wife's wrists, pin her against the wall, etc. AND when he recommended violating a restraining order.

[2xx1xy1JD]

He doesn't actually give a shit about useful advice. In fact, he actively disregards the useful advice that he gets from some posters, and puts down other bloggers like Sheila (Love, Honor and Vacuum) who give useful suggestions.

No, he doesn't want to hear any of it. He pretends that the only 2 options available to men are being totally whipped by their wives, or asserting their dominance. He's desperate to show that this is a valid option that will miraculously work when nothing else does.

Now, I've had cases where there was an argument that escalated, and where a husband did indeed try to use some relatively mild physical restraint. I can't think of any case where it went well. He is indeed setting his mentees up for police intervention and restraining orders. [i just thought of something - is familyman a poe? Maybe something written to get Ken to realize that his advice could be really, really bad? He hasn't bothered to respond to any comments back.)

[jerkit]

All the replies to the link of Lori's FB page are what would be expecting from a question framed this way. The woman are saying what they think of the husband's behavior.

This is exactly what Lori wants. She wants them to give the wrong answer so that she can say "But it's all about the wife's response!" :angry-banghead:

[polecat]

From Ken's posting here I really don't think he understands how the internet works. I think it genuinely terrified him when he read here that people were considering contacting his clients because it never occurred to him that people would link what he wrote on Lori's blog to his business. Despite what he claims, that is pretty much the only reason he came here. I think he has reassured himself that no one is going to contact his clients and that his clients will never, ever be able to connect his business name to his woman-hating blog name.

You would think one of his sons would tell him that it can all come back to bite him in the ass, but I suspect they either are just like Ken or terrified of their mother.

ETA: All it would take is one person with time on their hands, the knowledge of how to make sure Ken can never figure out their location and about a day to let every client know about Ken's thoughts on women and leave links as business reviews. No company that employees women and serves women is going to want to be associated with Ken if this information is made known to them.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I work in a related line of work -- not in competition, just related. And I wonder if he realizes just exactly how small this world is. For a man who runs an apparently successful business, he's as dumb as a box of rocks. And he doesn't have a brain tumor to blame. He's just naturally stupid.

[jerkit]

OMG. LORI IS SO STUPID.

Shannon's comment (the one I C/P'd on the previous page) was deleted because

Yes, Shanon, because it didn't make sense to me. You said it was okay for a wife to ask her husband to do this, it would be fine. Can you explain why a wife can ask this of her husband but a husband can't ask this of his wife biblically?

LORI. Shannon meant it was okay for the wife to ask her husband to weigh her weekly. NOT for the wife to weigh her husband weekly.

YOU'RE JUST SO DUMB. GAHHHHHHH.

[browncoatslytherin]

OMG. LORI IS SO STUPID.

Shannon's comment (the one I C/P'd on the previous page) was deleted because

LORI. Shannon meant it was okay for the wife to ask her husband to weigh her weekly. NOT for the wife to weigh her husband weekly.

YOU'RE JUST SO DUMB. GAHHHHHHH.

lori, that is officially the dumbest thing you've said. this week.

[usmcmom]

OMG. LORI IS SO STUPID.

Shannon's comment (the one I C/P'd on the previous page) was deleted because

LORI. Shannon meant it was okay for the wife to ask her husband to weigh her weekly. NOT for the wife to weigh her husband weekly.

YOU'RE JUST SO DUMB. GAHHHHHHH.

Can you imagine, in a real life conversation, saying "I'm going to ignore you because your last statement didn't make sense to me."

Good grief, Lori. If a comment doesn't make sense to you, how about you POLITELY write "Shannon, I'm not sure I understand your comment. Are you saying a wife should be allowed to weigh her husband but the reverse would be unacceptable? Just wanting to clear things up before I respond further." ?????

This is probably the thing that I hate most about Lori's claim of Christianity. She is so rude. She's mean spirited and arrogant. The way she treats people is so repulsive, I can't imagine that her church has ever sent one person to her to be mentored. If they had, we'd see all sorts of comments from "satisfied customers" on her blog; and that sure isn't happening.