Joseph Maxwell is MARRIED!!!

[MamaJunebug]

One thing I notice in these courting pictures, even though they are not touching they appear to be standing closer to each other, and Joseph looks happier, than in the engagement picture of Joseph and Elizabeth Munck.

Unfortunately, that picture has been scrubbed, but I didn't like the way Elizabeth was leaning toward Joseph while he stood ramrod straight. There just didn't seem to be a connection between the two of them.

There seems to be more intimacy (I know, I know, a strange word for two no-touch virgins) between he and Elissa.

Thanks for pointing that out! I remember, seeing Elizabeth and Joseph in the photos, I felt so very sorry for Elizabeth. She was doing all she could to show attraction and attachment and affection toward her intended, and he might as well have been posing for a application photo to some military Academy somewhere.

[uber frau]

Interesting.

I just went to the Wayback Machine and checked out the archive to the 2Tits blog for photos of the first time slutty Joe gave away pieces of his heart.

There's nothing saved between the first week of July and the beginning of September 2012, even though most other months have several saves.

How easy is it to get the Wayback Machine to delete an old copy or three?

Things that make me go Hmmmmm. :shifty-kitty:

[Toothfairy]

I cant imagine the divorce. What will Joseph, I mean Steve will write and do then. He gave away a huge chunk of his heart away that he will never get back.

[nokidsmom]

I think Steve's default mode is terse to the point of rudeness. I also believe that this is an indicator that he/the family rarely make genuine connections and friends at their conferences. If they did, it should be easy for him to separate the nasty Free Jinger snarkers from families he actually knows IRL as comments come in. There aren't really that many!

Wonder how many people Steveovah has turned off with his manner both online and in person. As far as making connections, it seems to me from reports here that the kids (with the possible exception of Joseph) make a better impression than the parents but of course, they are not allowed to further any connection they may make either IRL or online.

Given that this is the family business, one would think Steveovah would be a bit more careful with his comments but agree that with the post above that they must not be making a lot of friends in all their travels, otherwise he would know who was really a friend and who was messing with him. Maybe the Muncks were so anxious in their fundie social climbing they missed some signals at the beginning because given the rudeness / coldness that appears online and is reported from real life interactions (and has been for some time) how can people really warm up to them.

[WonderingInWA]

Elissa really seems drawn to bright colors - that purple she's wearing in the latest pic is gorgeous on her. I really, really hope we don't start seeing her in 50 shades of beige.

If you look closely, there is a rather defrauding button on her purple shirt above her left breast and close to her armpit. I hope she's been talked to about buttons and that the shirt has been repurposed to the rag box. That's just hussy material right there.

[It'sFunToRun]

Can you imagine how uncomfortable this thread is making Steve-o right now? lol

There's more where that came from. :D

How I Would Have Sex with the Fundies:

Bill Gothard: Massage and tickling followed by foot worship, followed by foot job.

Michelle Duggar: I would dress up like a baby and "nurse" on her. I would wear a diaper but not shit in it because the only kink I'm not into is anything involving poo.

Jim Bob Duggar: Missionary, because I assume that this is what he does with Michelle and she seems to enjoy it. He's had lots of practice.

Pissing Preacher: I would whip him with the belt he uses on his children (he showed us in a video once). He would like it.

Josh Duggar: Girl-on-top because he seems heavy and I wouldn't want to get squished.

David Waller: Anal, obviously.

Daniel Lockwood: With a condom!!! He admitted a "moral failure" and I am not interested in getting that STD!

James Dobson: We'd play doctor. He's good at pretending to be a doctor.

David Rodrigues: Doggie style and with a condom; doggie style because I wouldn't be able to look at him, and with a condom because I don't want children with his features.

Jill Rodrigues: We'd make a porno because she gets off on having her picture taken.

Michael Pearl: BDSM with me as submissive; no way I'm not getting spanked by the guy who literally wrote a book on it.

John Schrader: I'm failing to guess what he'd want to do, but I might not agree to it because all of his ideas are just so bad.

Steve Maxwell: I'd "arrest" him and tie him up then strip him down to his underwear (all consensual, btw). I would then teach him about all the ways to please a woman, foreplay, kissing, cunnilingus, the importance of lube, etc. After he practiced and mastered these concepts, we would make slow, passionate love. I think Stevie boy has potential. ;)

[thoughtful]

given the rudeness / coldness that appears online and is reported from real life interactions (and has been for some time) how can people really warm up to them.

Maybe that's why Sarah posts about the "sweet" people they meet -- only the sweetest people can put up with the Maxwells enough to want to chat during the breaks.

[freethemall]

You know, they may think that they're adding protection to the courtship by not flaunting it on the blog until after the wedding, but the fact that they took the posed shots makes it seem like they were putting just as much importance and even pressure on it as they had for the Munck courtship, just not as public.

Also, now that the wedding is done I don't give an eff about courtship pictures - give me wedding wedding wedding!

[Marian the Librarian]

DO.NOT.ANSWER! Until afterwards, of course. Hi Steve! :hand:

:embarrassed: Silly me, silly question. Note to self: no FJ posting until after coffee!!!

[nomoxian]

I just want Sarah to stop saying "energized". I know it's their new branding twist, but I'm already tired of it.

Give it a couple decades and she'll be using the radical, snazzy, bees knees words of today!

[Marian the Librarian]

No, don't say which one you're attending beforehand!

I guess that green shirt is Joseph's courting shirt?

Reminds me of one of Maggie Smith's best sotto voce lines in "Gosford Park:" "Difficult color, green..."

[church_of_dog]

Give it a couple decades and she'll be using the radical, snazzy, bees knees words of today!

Like. Dude. Kewl. Bestie. Eco-groovy. Ginormous. Woot. Cisgender. Asshat. Squee!

Just imagine these words coming out of Sarah's mouth. Or typewriter computer. Can.Not.Wait! :dance:

[WonderingInWA]

Like. Dude. Kewl. Bestie. Eco-groovy. Ginormous. Woot. Cisgender. Asshat. Squee!

Just imagine these words coming out of Sarah's mouth. Or typewriter computer. Can.Not.Wait! :dance:

Douche canoe. Oh, wait, probably not that one.

[Talitha Cumi]

Yeah, I'm being purposefully vague. All I can say is that I'm female and will be wearing a long skirt. :lol: Notes will be taken, and pictures will be had.

[nokidsmom]

I went to look at the blog just now and the men's session was held in a hallway?

[rosalitta]

It is nice to see that the two of them got to meet at least a few times that we know of so far before getting married. Hopefully Elissa got a good idea of what she was getting into. Though at this point after we've seen the level of deception Steve is willing to go through to protect his brand, I wouldn't be surprised if we found out he made them bring 5 changes of clothes and staged pictures to seem like they are on different days.

[PearlKrabs]

This blog reveal method where they give us a picture a week with no background story is so. lame. Without the story, the pictures hold no significance. I know what they look like. This could have been taken yesterday.

I'm thinking that this is as good as it's going to get. This is their idea of a satisfactory story: They were courting 160 days ago. Um... ok?

If you can't tell, I find this incredibly annoying. :roll: I wonder if their patrons do as well?

[mystikchick17]

Sweet merciful Jesus, they miss Joseph. A lot. Because of course they do. They're never going to see him that frequently anymore. Except when they inevitably go over to help Elissa with her ceiling fans once she gets knocked up. Or you know, because he lives .5 miles away. Is that a permissible distance to go on a sibling prayer walk?

God forbid there comes a day when all the other Maxwell chidults are married save for Poor Sarah. She might legitimately have a nervous breakdown just from trying to cope with being alone. She can convince herself all she likes that her husband is coming to her on Steve'sJesus' time, but the sheer loneliness as more siblings potentially fly the nest might actually break her.

[Jessica]

Okay, this is my extremely warped sense of humor coming through - I have a possibly perfect picture to photoshop would that I had a skill........

Remember the movie Dodgeball, a True Underdog Story - there is a scene where the wrong uniforms were delivered, so they play their first match in S&M Leathers and chains. But the picture I'm seeing in my head, is at the end, where the audience is filled with spectators for the final game, and the people who ordered the S&M uniforms are there in costume, I'm seeing that skinny old man for Steve with the face from the box carrying photo from the wedding prep, but from the scene where the Joe's Gym players were dressed in the leathers, Teri's face on the Christine taylor's character.

Okay probably extremely poor taste, but it's in my head now. I'll be spending the rest of the night in the prayer closet....

This is the best I could do with MS Paint and a little blonde child asking me something over and over and over.

[WonderingInWA]

Sweet merciful Jesus, they miss Joseph. A lot. Because of course they do. They're never going to see him that frequently anymore. Except when they inevitably go over to help Elissa with her ceiling fans once she gets knocked up. Or you know, because he lives .5 miles away. Is that a permissible distance to go on a sibling prayer walk?

God forbid there comes a day when all the other Maxwell chidults are married save for Poor Sarah. She might legitimately have a nervous breakdown just from trying to cope with being alone. She can convince herself all she likes that her husband is coming to her on Steve'sJesus' time, but the sheer loneliness as more siblings potentially fly the nest might actually break her.

Sarah is never getting out. Although, if one of the Botkin girls does first, she might stand a slim chance because I think Steve will see that as a little competition. It has nothing to do with what Sarah wants, and it never has. So really, she'll never make that choice anyway.

[antwan]

After the fruitless basic google searches, I started searching her first name only with towns in the area. The church is halfway between Georgetown and Frankfort (I'm from the area, I know exactly where it is) so I googled both of those and then the counties.

I started adding terms like homeschool and other things, no dice. Then I remembered some pretty fundie SBC families I know were involved in 4H and hit the jackpot.

After that it was easy. I searched county property records to find people with that last name in the county and google confirmed which names went together.

Whoa, takes one to know one. I'm a dang good sleuth myself, so Kudos! That was some fine dot connecting.

[Toothfairy]

I wonder how Sarah feels with her younger siblings all having kids and getting married? I hope their fans question why Sarah is in her thirties and hasn't gotten married yet. Why do I hate Steve? And I hardly use the word hate because that's a strong word to use but he is such as ass for putting his kids through this. Fuck you Steve Maxwell.

[antwan]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't find Elissa all that attractive.

I guess it's because she reminds me of Lourdes, only....well, Lourdes is gorgeous and Elissa looks morel like a Lourdes knock-off (or maybe that's just the pieces of Joseph's heart, given away previously, that makes me think, "knock off"???)

EDITED to add: Now, Elissa's sister, Stacy, does look quite beautiful in the linked pics.

[ShesCrafty]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I don't find Elissa all that attractive.

I guess it's because she reminds me of Lourdes, only....well, Lourdes is gorgeous and Elissa looks morel like a Lourdes knock-off (or maybe that's just the pieces of Joseph's heart, given away previously, that makes me think, "knock off"???)

EDITED to add: Now, Elissa's sister, Stacy, does look quite beautiful in the linked pics.

I'm assuming Christopher took most of the courtship, engagement, and wedding pictures and his photography skills are...how do I say this politely??? Fucking hideous :). I think she's pretty in the pictures and I bet she's even more attractive in person. Christopher could make George Clooney look like Sloth from The Goonies in a photo.

[lilith]

Sarah is never getting out. Although, if one of the Botkin girls does first, she might stand a slim chance because I think Steve will see that as a little competition. It has nothing to do with what Sarah wants, and it never has. So really, she'll never make that choice anyway.

Steve would never consider those Botkin sluts, who dress in period dresses complete with defrauding contrasting embroidery and buttons and prance around in front of men wearing makeup and with tousled bedhair and who write books that they research and that aren't entirely infantilised and that actually discuss theology and contain (outdated) pop culture references, as in the same class as his virginal Sarah, locked in Uriah for her allotted 1/2 hour to churn out another inane Moody book that may not diverge from actual Maxhell experiences, draped neck to ankle in her homemade skirt that matches her mother and sisters, before she emerges to dust ceiling fans, smile maniacally for "selfies" and write blog posts raving about how grateful she is for her sad sad life.

The Botkinettes are racy and worldly by Steve's standards.

Oh, and they've been exposed to Doug Phillips. It's always possible that he knew them in a non biblical way just as he did Lourdes. That in itself would be enough for Steve to consider them fallen and an example of what happens when you allow your daughters to associate with anyone outside the family and to revere a patriarch who isn't Daddy (on his knees).