Joseph Maxwell is MARRIED!!!

[Toothfairy]

Insert part A into slot B between the times of 8:45 and 9:00 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Toothfairy]

"Close your eyes and think of death."

Given that Joseph is the first reversal child who was born after Steve was becoming more and more lunatic, it is possible that a week ago he really did not know how a female body looks like under all those layers of modest frumpers. To even think about that possibility is mind boggling!

I can't imagine how sexually suppress these kids are. I hope Joseph reads some books. Maybe he will find something in the bible that will help him. At least show your kids diagrams Steve. So they're not fully unknowable. I hope Elissa knows somewhat how sex and her body works.

[Toothfairy]

Ew ew ew 50 Shades of Maxwell :brain-bleach: :brain-bleach: :brain-bleach:

Steve probably has a Red Room of Dull

And a playroom

[Justme]

I hope the new DIL can introduce "the family" to some nice Italian food. Might be a nice change from burritos...

(as I am enjoying the homemade lasagna I made for dinner. ;) )

[lilith]

I can't imagine how sexually suppress these kids are. I hope Joseph reads some books. Maybe he will find something in the bible that will help him. At least show your kids diagrams Steve. So they're not fully unknowable. I hope Elissa knows somewhat how sex and her body works.

Joseph doesn't read, he writes.

Look for Joseph Maxwell's guide to scheduled marital intimacy, in your debt free house, after your no touch courtship, coming in 2015.

[divadivine]

Joseph doesn't read, he writes.

Look for Joseph Maxwell's guide to scheduled marital intimacy, in your debt free house, after your no touch courtship, coming in 2015.

If this happens, Steve owes you royalties!!

Hi Stevie!!

[Justme]

Joseph doesn't read, he writes.

Look for Joseph Maxwell's guide to scheduled marital intimacy, in your debt free house, after your no touch courtship, coming in 2015.

I hope he includes a chapter on how to glue your heart back together when your fiancé dumps you a week before your wedding.

[lilith]

I hope he includes a chapter on how to glue your heart back together when your fiancé dumps you a week before your wedding.

And how to hide your new courtship from the Internet til you have your helpmeet safely wedded and bedded so it doesn't happen again. Or so that if it does happen again you can pretend it didn't and thus protect the family brand

[Lady Grass Lake]

Okay, this is my extremely warped sense of humor coming through - I have a possibly perfect picture to photoshop would that I had a skill........

Remember the movie Dodgeball, a True Underdog Story - there is a scene where the wrong uniforms were delivered, so they play their first match in S&M Leathers and chains. But the picture I'm seeing in my head, is at the end, where the audience is filled with spectators for the final game, and the people who ordered the S&M uniforms are there in costume, I'm seeing that skinny old man for Steve with the face from the box carrying photo from the wedding prep, but from the scene where the Joe's Gym players were dressed in the leathers, Teri's face on the Christine taylor's character.

Okay probably extremely poor taste, but it's in my head now. I'll be spending the rest of the night in the prayer closet....

[16strong]

I hope he includes a chapter on how to glue your heart ego back together when your fiancé dumps you a week before your wedding.

FTFY

[uber frau]

FTFY

I think Steve might have to write a good proportion of that chapter. I wouldn't be terribly surprised if Joe is a Steve Jr. But Steve's children behave the way they do because of their father. As much as being dumped might have hurt Joe, the reactionary supa sekret stealth wedding was about Steve's ego, not Joe's. If Steve had the smallest amount of regard for how his children felt about anything, he wouldn't be Steve

[MamaJunebug]

Coming back from a while away. About a week ago, someone helpfully (hee hee) mentioned on this thread that there was a misspelling on the Maxhell blog.

Was it corrected on the blog? If so, it's yet more proof that the Louse Of Leavenworth reads us religiously (so to speak)!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I hope he includes a chapter on how to glue your heart back together when your fiancé dumps you a week before your wedding.

And how to hide your new courtship from the Internet til you have your helpmeet safely wedded and bedded so it doesn't happen again. Or so that if it does happen again you can pretend it didn't and thus protect the family brand

GREAT!!!! I wonder if Joe was "punished" for the other bride-to-be skipping town? Maybe Daddy picked this one? I hope it works out for them though.

[HereticHick]

Sure you can glue your heart back together, but some pieces are missing cause you gave them away! [Can the ex mail them back to you??]

What on earth are Joseph & Elissa standing in front of in their latest pic??? Looks like military barracks. So romantic. Not that these Christian dominionists believe in the evil secular military.

[Coco]

Sure you can glue your heart back together, but some pieces are missing cause you gave them away! [Can the ex mail them back to you??]

What on earth are Joseph & Elissa standing in front of in their latest pic??? Looks like military barracks. So romantic. Not that these Christian dominionists believe in the evil secular military.

oh my no, that's a sky scraper in what appears to be a small city! So modern, so trendy, so with it. :lol:

[Odd1Out]

Sure you can glue your heart back together, but some pieces are missing cause you gave them away! [Can the ex mail them back to you??]

Exactly! If someone rejects those pieces of your heart, they should come directly back to you.

[Justme]

They started courting 160 days ago. That's around 5 months ago! 5 months to start "courting" to married for a week. Long distance, too! How can this marriage possibly work. It's like the fundie version of mail order brides....

[WonderingInWA]

I just want Sarah to stop saying "energized". I know it's their new branding twist, but I'm already tired of it.

[uber frau]

They started courting 160 days ago. That's around 5 months ago! 5 months to start "courting" to married for a week. Long distance, too! How can this marriage possibly work. It's like the fundie version of mail order brides....

Joseph and Elissa don't need to spend a long time getting to know each other because, at the end of the day, they're not marrying each other as individuals with thoughts and opinions, they're marrying someone who fits a certain ideal and who is willing to fill a role (provider/'spiritual leader' vs childbearer and carer/housekeeper). As long as both parties are prepared to fulfill their pre-arranged roles, there's no need for things like friendship or communication or mutual respect. I'm sure there are happy marriages in fundyland where those things do exist, but they're not considered as essential as they are in most secular, Western marriages. When all else fails, the husband can make any decision he sees fit because that's his job. And in Maxhell, even the decision to pick up pizza is between a man and his god ego. All a wife is supposed to do is pray about it. (And be diligent about making sure there's enough emergency burrito slop in the freezer for those days she's really too tired or overwhelmed to cook.)

[Talitha Cumi]

I am registered for the conference, God help me. :doh:

I had a dream the other night. Steve set up a courtship between me and Sarah. It didn't seem to matter that I'm female and already married; the whole family seemed enthusiastic about it. I was like "... well, I'll get to take her out and show her the world! I'll get to make her happy! I'm totally down with this courtship thing!" I was really excited! :lol:

[Marian the Librarian]

Elissa really seems drawn to bright colors - that purple she's wearing in the latest pic is gorgeous on her. I really, really hope we don't start seeing her in 50 shades of beige.

[Marian the Librarian]

I am registered for the conference, God help me. :doh:

I had a dream the other night. Steve set up a courtship between me and Sarah. It didn't seem to matter that I'm female and already married; the whole family seemed enthusiastic about it. I was like "... well, I'll get to take her out and show her the world! I'll get to make her happy! I'm totally down with this courtship thing!" I was really excited! :lol:

WOW - which one will you be attending? (Eagerly awaiting reports, pics, etc.) :cracking-up:

[kpmom]

One thing I notice in these courting pictures, even though they are not touching they appear to be standing closer to each other, and Joseph looks happier, than in the engagement picture of Joseph and Elizabeth Munck.

Unfortunately, that picture has been scrubbed, but I didn't like the way Elizabeth was leaning toward Joseph while he stood ramrod straight. There just didn't seem to be a connection between the two of them.

There seems to be more intimacy (I know, I know, a strange word for two no-touch virgins) between he and Elissa.

[church_of_dog]

WOW - which one will you be attending? (Eagerly awaiting reports, pics, etc.) :cracking-up:

DO.NOT.ANSWER! Until afterwards, of course. Hi Steve! :hand:

[Odd1Out]

No, don't say which one you're attending beforehand!

I guess that green shirt is Joseph's courting shirt?