Lori Alexander: Her Kids Didn't Need Her

[FJismyheadship]

You dared to suggest the husband wasn't adequately caring for his family.

[littlemommy]

Lori, why are you hiding the fact YOU had a nanny from your leghumpers? Are you afraid of being judged?

[Firiel]

Lori, why are you hiding the fact YOU had a nanny from your leghumpers? Are you afraid of being judged?

They were rich enough to bring a nanny to their house instead of having to bring their children to the nanny's house. Therefore, it's totally different!

[littlemommy]

They were rich enough to bring a nanny to their house instead of having to bring their children to the nanny's house. Therefore, it's totally different!

True, but her post was telling moms "Your kids want YOU!" So...kids want mom, except Lori's kids, who don't want mom approx 20 hours a week.

I think I get it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

You guys have it all wrong.

Kids want mom, and only mom, but this need only exists at designated hours. The overwhelming need for mom only exists during daylight, and it doesn't apply to the 2 hours per day that children are to spend alone in their rooms. Working to put food on the table is totally unnecessary if you have faith in God, but moms NEED their sleep so any baby better learn to sleep through the night even if they get hungry because they have tiny stomachs. Their is also no need to actually play with your babies. Simply being in the house with them is sufficient. Speaking of that - leaving the house to do activities with the kids is not necessary, and possibly harmful. Finally, the kids' need for their mother is instantly suspended the moment the husband wants to have sex.

[Firiel]

You guys have it all wrong.

Kids want mom, and only mom, but this need only exists at designated hours. The overwhelming need for mom only exists during daylight, and it doesn't apply to the 2 hours per day that children are to spend alone in their rooms. Working to put food on the table is totally unnecessary if you have faith in God, but moms NEED their sleep so any baby better learn to sleep through the night even if they get hungry because they have tiny stomachs. Their is also no need to actually play with your babies. Simply being in the house with them is sufficient. Speaking of that - leaving the house to do activities with the kids is not necessary, and possibly harmful. Finally, the kids' need for their mother is instantly suspended the moment the husband wants to have sex.

How dare you produce such libel about two wonderful Christians! Your lies and mischaracterizations prove that you hate God and don't understand America!

[polecat]

You guys have it all wrong.

Kids want mom, and only mom, but this need only exists at designated hours. The overwhelming need for mom only exists during daylight, and it doesn't apply to the 2 hours per day that children are to spend alone in their rooms. Working to put food on the table is totally unnecessary if you have faith in God, but moms NEED their sleep so any baby better learn to sleep through the night even if they get hungry because they have tiny stomachs. Their is also no need to actually play with your babies. Simply being in the house with them is sufficient. Speaking of that - leaving the house to do activities with the kids is not necessary, and possibly harmful. Finally, the kids' need for their mother is instantly suspended the moment the husband wants to have sex.

Furthermore, their need for mom stops as soon as it is bedtime. They are not allowed in the parents' room AT ALL.

(Note: My parents actually did have that rule for us growing up. We were absolutely not in their room under any circumstances. It didn't really bother me at the time -- when I was old enough to remember -- but after having my own kids, we decided to do things differently because our kids *did* need and want us at night. Our kids respect our privacy and even knock when the door is open, but they also know that they can reach us if they need us any time of day).

[usmcmom]

Furthermore, their need for mom stops as soon as it is bedtime. They are not allowed in the parents' room AT ALL.

(Note: My parents actually did have that rule for us growing up. We were absolutely not in their room under any circumstances. It didn't really bother me at the time -- when I was old enough to remember -- but after having my own kids, we decided to do things differently because our kids *did* need and want us at night. Our kids respect our privacy and even knock when the door is open, but they also know that they can reach us if they need us any time of day).

We kind of had the same rule. Our kids only slept in our bed if they were ill or frightened during a storm and that's when they were pretty little. Our daughter was still very afraid of storms until like age 11. For those last few years of this need, I'd put a little pallet on the floor by my bed and she'd come in any time it stormed, settle into her little nest and reach up and hold my hand. It worked very well. She even went through a spell where she'd come in some nights if it wasn't storming - she'd just wake up and need to be close to us. Our door was always shut and if we happened to need some privacy for a while ;) - we'd lock the door and unlock it later, in case she needed us. She always just slipped in and settled down without saying a word. Now that our kids are grown and gone, I'm so glad we had that policy where they knew they could reach out to us, literally day or night. I look back at those nights as some of the most tender moments of parenting and it took such little effort. I wonder if Lori has any regrets for being so unavailable to her kids.

[salex]

I wonder if Lori has any regrets for being so unavailable to her kids.

I don't think Lori has enough self awareness to have regrets.

[usmcmom]

I don't think Lori has enough self awareness to have regrets.

She and Ken are among the very few parents who regret NOTHING about how they raised their kids. Most of us can think of a few things we wished we'd done differently. Not these two. They stand firm in their belief that leather straps, fat shaming and force feeding were the right way to go.

Now that I've typed that out...how interesting that they believe in force feeding a child only to shame them years later for being a little overweight, even equating it to sin.

[salex]

She and Ken are among the very few parents who regret NOTHING about how they raised their kids. Most of us can think of a few things we wished we'd done differently. Not these two. They stand firm in their belief that leather straps, fat shaming and force feeding were the right way to go.

Now that I've typed that out...how interesting that they believe in force feeding a child only to shame them years later for being a little overweight, even equating it to sin.

RE: The bolded. Remember they share the philosophy that Cab holds that basically is that if you are leading where your wife (or child) wants to go, you are not really leading. I think Ken and Lori thrive on nasty conflict, or they would not have lived in it for so long, nor would they reminisce so much about the bad old days and how hard it is not to go back to heir evil ways. Why would they treat their kids better than they did one another, but how could such perfect people have not been perfect parents.

[jerkit]

I find it super disturbing that lori's niece felt the need to apologize to lori multiple times while telling her love story. That seems...icky.

[usmcmom]

I find it super disturbing that lori's niece felt the need to apologize to lori multiple times while telling her love story. That seems...icky.

Many a truth is said in jest, right? I think she was "teasing" but knew that Lori was that relative who is quite vocal with her opinions and outright judgmental. I agree, it's sad she felt the need to justify herself with her aunt.

I had an aunt like that once. When she first became "saved," she made me very uncomfortable even as a young child, because she was so vocal with her disapproval of absolutely everything. Thankfully, now she is much more moderate in her views and is one of the most pleasant people I know.

[2xx1xy1JD]

FWIW, my kids often the the running-to-me thing when I picked them up. Kids often DO act differently at daycare than they do with parents. The thing is, I also spied on my kids, and noticed that when they couldn't see me, they were laughing with friends and perfectly happy. Now, some places and classes were better than others, and if there was general unhappiness that lasted longer than a few minutes at separation, it often meant that there was a real problem.

In the evenings, though, my kids who were happy to run around and play during the day often needed to chill and reconnect and just have some extra TLC from us. Something about bedtime makes kids crave that. So that time is about the very last thing that I would have given up with my kids, because it's when they clearly needed me the most.

[Stynjen]

Speaking of today's entry about her niece - what the heck is it with fundies obsession with washing women's feet? I seem to recall Credenza Creep bragging about washing his wife's feet every day.

[Koala]

*shudder* I have some weird thing about feet. I won't even let my husband touch mine. The idea of a pedicure almost sends me into panic. Needless to say, I paint my own toenails thankyouverymuch :lol: I'm weird though.

[usmcmom]

Speaking of today's entry about her niece - what the heck is it with fundies obsession with washing women's feet? I seem to recall Credenza Creep bragging about washing his wife's feet every day.

They do that to emulate Jesus' extreme humility when he washed the feet of his disciples, a job that was usually reserved for the lowliest of servants, I think. Some churches even have Foot Washing Services to honor this.

It's funny to me with someone like CM - there is not an ounce of humility in him.

[usmcmom]

*shudder* I have some weird thing about feet. I won't even let my husband touch mine. The idea of a pedicure almost sends me into panic. Needless to say, I paint my own toenails thankyouverymuch :lol: I'm weird though.

Oh wow! Me too! I've never had a pedicure. My feet are insanely ticklish and I'm afraid I'd kick the poor woman in the face. I do get foot rubs from my husband but he has learned how to do it just right.

[Hisey]

It was weird how the niece kept saying "Don't tell Aunt Lori." I never felt the need to apologize for my sexual choices to my aunts. But it was even weirder that at the bottom of the post, Lori writes, "I forgive you, Ali."

Apparently Ali needs forgiveness from her aunt for sins like dating and kissing a young man.

[2xx1xy1JD]

It was weird how the niece kept saying "Don't tell Aunt Lori." I never felt the need to apologize for my sexual choices to my aunts. But it was even weirder that at the bottom of the post, Lori writes, "I forgive you, Ali."

Apparently Ali needs forgiveness from her aunt for sins like dating and kissing a young man.

The niece's story was sweet, and she sounds relatively normal.

The moral of the story: yes, you can ignore Aunt Lori's advice, have a career, meet a guy in a normal way, and still be a good Christian girl who lives happily ever after.

[usmcmom]

The young man does sound wonderful; and nothing like Ken. The words that tipped me off to this: "Humility" and "a love for others....even strangers."

[kpmom]

Good old Ken feels the need to lecture Lori's niece;

Ali Sue!

That was a great love story and we watched it play out on Facebook fun picture after picture :). You know how much you are loved by the whole family clan as you have blossomed into a beautiful young woman inside and out. I know that David will take great care of you all of your life as you too throw your life into his. Marriage is all about becoming one with the person you say you love the most ion then whole wide world, and it is out of the choice and commitment to love unconditionally that we can both give our lives away, and get it back in return. I think that may be what Jesus wants from us too?

I loved the "throw your life into his" remark. Ken, you're such a predictable jackass.

And what makes you think this young couple wants to be lectured by the likes of you? The only reason you're still with Lori is because she got scared you were going to leave her once the kids were gone and decided she'd be the submissive wifey poo.

[docmom]

I am an evil working mother with a job that requires very long hours at times and yet I think I've spent more time with my children than Lori did with hers

[Curious]

Lori Alexander:

~Divorce is too easy (I guess we should force women to stay with their husbands until they can prove to Lori or a like minded individual that they deserve the right to divorce)

~Condoms and abortions = single mothers :evil-eye: :evil-eye:

~If your husband dies when you're young you need to remarry so you don't have to work. If your husband dies when you're older let the church support you.

Perfect :roll:

It's not 1970's anymore, Lori. That ship sailed with Clinton, I believe. "Welfare" is not the easy street it used to be and getting oodles of money for each kid you had is a thing of the past. Anyone still laboring under this delusion needs to do some research.

To even stay on aid, you MUST be doing some kind of work (even if it's volunteer) after x amount of time and show that you are trying to improve your situation. No more laying around birthing them babies, eating steak and lobster every night :roll:

[Koala]

I like the title if today's post: "Are Setting Boundaries On Others Biblical?" Friendly reminder folks, Lori used to be a teacher.

Edited to add, that post is really rich coming from the woman who has admitted to letting her infants cry through the night without even checking on them from 3 weeks on because SHE needed her sleep.