Lori Alexander: Her Kids Didn't Need Her

[jerkit]

Lori put up a huge boundary with putting respectful dissenters on auto-delete. Maybe she should give of herself and engage in discussion with them.

/nope, not bitter about that one at all

[Tiger Lily]

I like the title if today's post: "Are Setting Boundaries On Others Biblical?" Friendly reminder folks, Lori used to be a teacher.

Edited to add, that post is really rich coming from the woman who has admitted to letting her infants cry through the night without even checking on them from 3 weeks on because SHE needed her sleep.

Reading that makes me hurt inside. Poor babies!

[usmcmom]

I agree with one of her commenters; I don't think Lori is real sure of what "boundaries" means. But this little gem is rich:

"I have just found in my own life, that the more I give myself and my desires away and serve others, the better my life becomes. When I don't need things to go my way and get things my way, the more joy I have. We are called to give our lives away and boundaries and not being a doormat just don't seem to fit into the biblical definition of being a godly servant for Christ."

Um...serve others? :? Maybe she also doesn't know what "serve others" means.

And who the heck is she to say we shouldn't set boundaries for others?!? She does just that with her blog.

Women should not work outside the home.

Women should be submissive.

Women should not go to college.

Nobody should eat junk food.

Parents should spank.

Women should be skinny.

There are dozen of others, as you all know.

Her whole mission is one big boundary for women and it has nothing to do with her Biblical beliefs. It's all about her disdain for women and her own husband.

And, Lori; I think your title should be "IS Setting Boundaries Biblical?"

[Tiger Lily]

I agree with one of her commenters; I don't think Lori is real sure of what "boundaries" means. But this little gem is rich:

"I have just found in my own life, that the more I give myself and my desires away and serve others, the better my life becomes. When I don't need things to go my way and get things my way, the more joy I have. We are called to give our lives away and boundaries and not being a doormat just don't seem to fit into the biblical definition of being a godly servant for Christ."

Um...serve others? :? Maybe she also doesn't know what "serve others" means.

And who the heck is she to say we shouldn't set boundaries for others?!? She does just that with her blog.

Women should not work outside the home.

Women should be submissive.

Women should not go to college.

Nobody should eat junk food.

Parents should spank.

Women should be skinny.

There are dozen of others, as you all know.

Her whole mission is one big boundary for women and it has nothing to do with her Biblical beliefs. It's all about her disdain for women and her own husband.

And, Lori; I think your title should be "IS Setting Boundaries Biblical?"

I JUST finished reading this and came to the same conclusions. I also wonder how Lori is going to respond to that last comment. Will it stay up or will Lori immediately go into shrew mode and set the poor woman straight? That is the question.

I also got a big chuckle out of Lori describing her service to others. Lori, thy name is Hypocrite. And btw, if the person Lori was referring to as blogging about boundaries being unbiblical is the one I'm thinking of, she didn't say anything about setting boundaries for others. She only talked about setting boundaries for oneself and she provided Scriptural support for that. Then again, I'm afraid Lori doesn't understand the meaning of the word, 'boundaries.'

[Koala]

I don't think that there's much Lori does understand. I'm not sure I've ever encountered a more ignorant person... :?

[polecat]

I agree with one of her commenters; I don't think Lori is real sure of what "boundaries" means. But this little gem is rich:

"I have just found in my own life, that the more I give myself and my desires away and serve others, the better my life becomes. When I don't need things to go my way and get things my way, the more joy I have. We are called to give our lives away and boundaries and not being a doormat just don't seem to fit into the biblical definition of being a godly servant for Christ."

Um...serve others? :? Maybe she also doesn't know what "serve others" means.

And who the heck is she to say we shouldn't set boundaries for others?!? She does just that with her blog.

Women should not work outside the home.

Women should be submissive.

Women should not go to college.

Nobody should eat junk food.

Parents should spank.

Women should be skinny.

There are dozen of others, as you all know.

Her whole mission is one big boundary for women and it has nothing to do with her Biblical beliefs. It's all about her disdain for women and her own husband.

And, Lori; I think your title should be "IS Setting Boundaries Biblical?"

I got a giggle out of "psycho babble." That's what I'm going to think of every time I read her outlandish ramblings.

[Curious]

I like the title if today's post: "Are Setting Boundaries On Others Biblical?" Friendly reminder folks, Lori used to be a teacher.

Edited to add, that post is really rich coming from the woman who has admitted to letting her infants cry through the night without even checking on them from 3 weeks on because SHE needed her sleep.

How do you sleep through a crying infant (newborn). When my kids were that age, I could not STAND that sound. In fact, when my kids were babies, I could not take the sound of ANY infant crying for an extended period of time.

I also wonder, do fundie children never have things like night terrors or sleep walking? I suffered both those things and if my mom had ignored me during the night, I don't know what would have happened because more than once she found me outside during a sleep walking incident.

Eventually, she put one of those sliding chain locks up too high for me to reach so I couldn't unlock the door at night to get outside. I ended up ripping it out of the door frame once because I was so determined to get outside.

[usmcmom]

How do you sleep through a crying infant (newborn). When my kids were that age, I could not STAND that sound. In fact, when my kids were babies, I could not take the sound of ANY infant crying for an extended period of time.

I also wonder, do fundie children never have things like night terrors or sleep walking? I suffered both those things and if my mom had ignored me during the night, I don't know what would have happened because more than once she found me outside during a sleep walking incident.

Eventually, she put one of those sliding chain locks up too high for me to reach so I couldn't unlock the door at night to get outside. I ended up ripping it out of the door frame once because I was so determined to get outside.

I'm sure they wouldn't ignore sleep walking or night terrors.

They'd get up and beat the child.

[2xx1xy1JD]

How do you sleep through a crying infant (newborn). When my kids were that age, I could not STAND that sound. In fact, when my kids were babies, I could not take the sound of ANY infant crying for an extended period of time.

I also wonder, do fundie children never have things like night terrors or sleep walking? I suffered both those things and if my mom had ignored me during the night, I don't know what would have happened because more than once she found me outside during a sleep walking incident.

Eventually, she put one of those sliding chain locks up too high for me to reach so I couldn't unlock the door at night to get outside. I ended up ripping it out of the door frame once because I was so determined to get outside.

Or even reflux?

Girl 1 had reflux, although I didn't realize at the time that it had a name and that not all babies spit up after eating.

The reflux meant that hunger hurt her, so she's indicate that she was hungry by crying at the top of her lungs.

The reflux also meant that if she got upset and cried enough, she would throw up.

We tried to sleep train for precisely one night. We waited until she was around 5 or 6 months, we stood at the door listening to the cries and watching the time, and then....we found her totally hysterical, since she had thrown up. That was the end of any sleep training for us.

My mom, of course, told me about how my cousin sleep-training his baby, and claim that I hadn't stuck with it long enough. I asked her just how many nights I should ignore my crying baby while she was lying distressed in a pool of her own vomit.

[urban explorer]

Now don’t pour Essential Oils down my throat for saying this but, in a way I do feel sorry for Lori. Ken doesn’t seem like a great catch, her health hasn’t been that great, her narrow world view where she must feel that her way is the only way, how she plainly miss interprets or makes stuff up, It must be exhausting to pour out that much hate and resentment and feel fine about it. I’m not sure but I don’t think she is happy and wanting someone else to feel like she does to not feel alone with her lot in life. I’m hoping something will change and Lori will get support to find some kind of happiness.

I don’t feel sorry or excuse Lori in how she raised her kids, I think that was her doing and seeming OK with her kids being afraid of her that’s not OK.

This is just how I feel.

[usmcmom]

Now don’t pour Essential Oils down my throat for saying this but, in a way I do feel sorry for Lori. Ken doesn’t seem like a great catch, her health hasn’t been that great, her narrow world view where she must feel that her way is the only way, how she plainly miss interprets or makes stuff up, It must be exhausting to pour out that much hate and resentment and feel fine about it. I’m not sure but I don’t think she is happy and wanting someone else to feel like she does to not feel alone with her lot in life. I’m hoping something will change and Lori will get support to find some kind of happiness.

I don’t feel sorry or excuse Lori in how she raised her kids, I think that was her doing and seeming OK with her kids being afraid of her that’s not OK.

This is just how I feel.

First: You guys! Lori changed her title. It now is grammatically correct. Hi, Lori. See you CAN learn things from FJ.

Now, to your excellent point. I do see what you mean and I have found myself wondering if I was picking on an underdog.

Did anybody else watch Real Housewives of New York (I bet Lori did) when Kelly was all bonkers on that island and the other ladies kept yelling at her about her crazy talk? But then finally somebody said "Wait. She's crazy and we're screaming at her. We need to stop picking on the crazy one."

Lori makes me think of that. But, Lori would not want us calling her crazy so it might hurt her feelings if we left her alone.

[Firiel]

And speaking of her health... it's hard to not wonder if her brain tumors have affected the way she thinks and acts. I'm not sure how much we know about her tumors or the treatments for them, but the idea makes sense.

[jerkit]

Absolutely not. NO. Lori does not deserve sympathy. SHE IS A MONSTER.

[polecat]

Now don’t pour Essential Oils down my throat for saying this but, in a way I do feel sorry for Lori. Ken doesn’t seem like a great catch, her health hasn’t been that great, her narrow world view where she must feel that her way is the only way, how she plainly miss interprets or makes stuff up, It must be exhausting to pour out that much hate and resentment and feel fine about it. I’m not sure but I don’t think she is happy and wanting someone else to feel like she does to not feel alone with her lot in life. I’m hoping something will change and Lori will get support to find some kind of happiness.

I don’t feel sorry or excuse Lori in how she raised her kids, I think that was her doing and seeming OK with her kids being afraid of her that’s not OK.

This is just how I feel.

I have moments where I feel sorry for her in that her life must be miserable (all physical issues aside -- many other people have chronic pain or physical disabilities and do not take their anger or frustration out on other people). She's married to a man who does not respect her and probably doesn't even love her. She certainly doesn't love him and has no actual respect for him (a thin veneer of "oh honey aren't you just the smartest ever?" does not genuine respect make). They are constantly taking pot shots at one another, and she's essentially trapped. She almost certainly can't work or earn a living at this point in her life, and I doubt her kids want to move her in.

And yet, while I may briefly feel bad for her, I realize that she is fully in a bed of her own choosing. And on top of that, she's actively meddling in other people's lives and giving out advice that she almost certainly knows is potentially dangerous. The women is venomous and wicked, and her husband is self-absorbed and self-righteous. They both repulse me.

Besides, she gets off -- and I mean big time gets off -- on the fact that she's being "persecuted" for Christ.

[crawfishgirl]

Absolutely not. NO. Lori does not deserve sympathy. SHE IS A MONSTER.

I believe that we need to set our own boundaries with the garbage she writes, and expose it for the hateful and hurtful shit that it is. I would be more sympathetic if she wasn't trying to hurt half of the world's population as a result of her rigid and ridiculous opinions. Having a person state their opinions is one thing, but to judge and criticize others for the way that they live, because it doesn't conform to her worldview, is another.

[Coconut Flan]

And yet, while I may briefly feel bad for her, I realize that she is fully in a bed of her own choosing. And on top of that, she's actively meddling in other people's lives and giving out advice that she almost certainly knows is potentially dangerous.

I can have sympathy for her health issues, but that doesn't excuse her meddling self-righteousness.

It's such that I don't read her blog unless something here makes me want to see the whole post. A lot of people are in circumstances not that different from Lori, but they don't pretend that their way is the one right way or take out their misery on the world.

[Firiel]

I believe that we need to set our own boundaries with the garbage she writes, and expose it for the hateful and hurtful shit that it is. I would be more sympathetic if she wasn't trying to hurt half of the world's population as a result of her rigid and ridiculous opinions. Having a person state their opinions is one thing, but to judge and criticize others for the way that they live, because it doesn't conform to her worldview, is another.

I guess I don't think that feeling bad for someone automatically translates into letting them off the hook for bad behavior.*

Lori is clearly a hateful old shrew. The fact that she spreads her ridiculous and damaging views under the guise of mentorship is terrible. She is completely unable to accept even polite questioning/discussion around her views, and she treated her kids horribly. And. She's also pretty clearly a deeply unhappy person. Even though she made her own bed, that level of unhappiness is sad to see in anyone.

*I try to keep this in mind for all people-- Lori is nothing special in that regard.

[urban explorer]

Thanks guys I think I had a brain fart and that resulted in having feelings for someone that doesn’t care about others but, that is me I lead with my heart and believe that thinking as meanly as she does will sooner rather then later bite me in the butt, glad that I have others able to voice what I can’t seem to do (this is not a jab at anyone I really can’t seem to but I enjoy what others write). This is the greatness of FJ someone always put into words what I can’t so, THANK YOU much appreciated. I will wait over in the corner quietly and wait to read more.

I really don’t know how Lori does it.

[Coco]

It's not 1970's anymore, Lori. That ship sailed with Clinton, I believe. "Welfare" is not the easy street it used to be and getting oodles of money for each kid you had is a thing of the past. Anyone still laboring under this delusion needs to do some research.

To even stay on aid, you MUST be doing some kind of work (even if it's volunteer) after x amount of time and show that you are trying to improve your situation. No more laying around birthing them babies, eating steak and lobster every night :roll:

The best description of this situation i've seen was this video: thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/mlw5q1/2014--a-waste-odyssey

It's a 5 minute clip that discusses children who use food stamps compared to corporations who exploit tax breaks.

“Exploiting government largesse, while reprehensive and morally corrupting for an individual, is A-OK for corporations. So maybe this will help. Don’t think about food stamps and Head Start and programs like that as feeding and helping a small child. Think about it as investing in a promising start-up, with a liquidity problem.â€

My husband and I had to use SNAP, WIC and Medicaid when he was in between jobs. We did not want to use these programs. We stretched every penny as long as we could eating soup and rice and beans with no spending in any area for non-essential things, until we realized God had blessed us and another baby was on the way. We decided it would be wise to make sure that we could afford dairy and protein (chicken/beef, beyond beans). For one year we qualified. For only one year we used it. It helped us get through a temporary difficult time. The requirements are strict, documentation is strict, and people who use SNAP and Medicaid have an assigned case worker who keeps tabs on their individual situation. I did home daycare during this time to help pay the bills, and was required to turn in self-employment ledgers tracking the income. The media reports about the government reducing the work requirements for welfare are misleading. Those changes only broadened what could be classified as work since so many people looking for jobs during the recession had difficulty finding paying work. Once qualified the families on food stamps are allowed about $5/person/day. This sounds like a lot until you realize that is $1.67/meal. Three nutritious meals a day for $1.67/meal is a challenge but it can be done. The examples of people buying expensive things on food stamps are only possible because they are using up all of their allowed benefits in just one day or one week, because the benefits are put out once a month. (That allows the few abusers to waste, but it also allows families to buy in bulk -- 4 whole chickens will feed a small family balanced suppers for a month! Flour and other basics are much cheaper in bulk) It takes diligence to make it last. When you have small children and very little income you become extremely diligent with the resources.

WIC is part of the USDA and is a separate program with very tight restrictions for healthy food. (Only whole grain bread, fresh or frozen fruits, tuna or V8, etc.They do have substitutions for food allergies) And the monthly amount for fruit and veggies is between $6/$10 per child. I wish that more quiverfull families would let themselves use WIC. It is not a wasteful program at all. It is a program that cares about the nutrition of children. Every month moms are given education on different aspects of nutrition including healthy recipes to use.

People do look down on those on welfare. I used to look down on them too. Until you've walked that road you really don't know what welfare is exactly. Everything changes once you've experienced it in real life.

[lipstickgoalie]

I am a little late to the game but the post about Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster's niece- I don't think her niece wrote the little asides and apologies. I really think the Monster herself wrote them. If you read them all they shift from first to third person and don't read like the rest of the piece. Lori's ego knows no bounds and I am fairly convinced that she couldn't resist making passive aggressive judgements on her own niece's love story.

[HoneyBunny]

I said this here before but feel impelled to repeat it...

Lori A gets no pass from me. She was a bossy older sister, married a man she did not love, poked holes in her diaphragm to get pregnant and be able to quit her job, beat her young kids with a leather strap (till it hurt! It has to hurt!), couldn't keep up with 4 kids despite being SAHM and so hired a nanny and STILL kept her kids in their rooms 2 hours every day, loaned said nanny to a neighbor and then courted stories about how filthy her house was, ragged on her husband for 23 years or so and only when he threatened divorce did she start the passive aggressive (instead of just aggressive) behavior she exhibits in her blog. She has publicly dissed her parents, her kids' eating habits and her husband. She is now making a career of giving bad advice to impressionable young women that will result in large families making do on one income, setting them up for a future of debt and poverty.

No, Lori gets no pass from me.

[Toothfairy]

Lori Alexander:

Lori Alexander:

Lori Alexander:

Lori Alexander:

Lori Alexander:

this is a slap in the face to me, my mother, my grandmother, and all the other parents that have nannies or sent their kids to daycare/preschool.

[Coco]

I said this here before but feel impelled to repeat it...

Lori A gets no pass from me. She was a bossy older sister, married a man she did not love, poked holes in her diaphragm to get pregnant and be able to quit her job, beat her young kids with a leather strap (till it hurt! It has to hurt!), couldn't keep up with 4 kids despite being SAHM and so hired a nanny and STILL kept her kids in their rooms 2 hours every day, loaned said nanny to a neighbor and then courted stories about how filthy her house was, ragged on her husband for 23 years or so and only when he threatened divorce did she start the passive aggressive (instead of just aggressive) behavior she exhibits in her blog. She has publicly dissed her parents, her kids' eating habits and her husband. She is now making a career of giving bad advice to impressionable young women that will result in large families making do on one income, setting them up for a future of debt and poverty.

No, Lori gets no pass from me.

and all this information comes from her, right?

so after all that vile behavior she put it on a public blog?

:slow clap: :roll:

[Tiger Lily]

Or even reflux?

Girl 1 had reflux, although I didn't realize at the time that it had a name and that not all babies spit up after eating.

The reflux meant that hunger hurt her, so she's indicate that she was hungry by crying at the top of her lungs.

The reflux also meant that if she got upset and cried enough, she would throw up.

We tried to sleep train for precisely one night. We waited until she was around 5 or 6 months, we stood at the door listening to the cries and watching the time, and then....we found her totally hysterical, since she had thrown up. That was the end of any sleep training for us.

My mom, of course, told me about how my cousin sleep-training his baby, and claim that I hadn't stuck with it long enough. I asked her just how many nights I should ignore my crying baby while she was lying distressed in a pool of her own vomit.

My first child also had reflux. She would throw up and then be ravenous shortly thereafter. Her doctor told me it was a waiting game. The sooner she could sit up for awhile, the sooner it should end. She finally stopped around nine months of age and in the meantime, I was producing enough milk for two babies.

So, I was thinking that even if Lori didn't breastfeed, bottle-fed babies still wake up at least once a night (especially at three weeks). I don't know how she and Ken could ignore the cries. It would drive me batty.

BTW, someone mentioned that Lori's daughters have their own blogs. I'm curious how they describe their parents and their upbringing. Does anyone know if they mentioned anything like that?

[Rebelwife]

I'm sure that like most things Lori, it's 75%* BS (*statistics provided by wardrobe wanker). It's been 20+ years and you take the LLL defined "sleeping through the night" as a 5 hour stretch, shave a couple of hours and a couple of months off of it, and voila you have sleeping through the night at 3 weeks.

My MIL does this and it drives me batty. In the 20 years I've known her, my husband has started walking 2 months earlier and was totally potty trained, even at night, a full six months earlier. :roll: