The one where Cabinetboy starts a blog

[RosyDaisy]

Fuck public officials, I got me some good 'ol redneck men and women as friends. You don't want to stir up that hornets' nest.

[Childless]

Ugh! This guy really needs to get a life. No one on here has threatened him. If he is spending money on a lawyer because of FJ, he's a bigger idiot than I originally thought.

He sounds like a man with low self-esteem. Creating drama where there is none, bragging about his manliness, bragging about his connections. Only people with no sense of self-worth feel the need to do this stuff. I have a sister just like this and it all stems from a poor view of herself. What he really needs to be spending his money on is some time with a therapist. It would do a lot more to help him and his family than a lawyer sitting around twiddling his fingers because he has nothing to do.

[littlemommy]

Maybe his wife should prayerfully consider isolating him in punishment till this madness passes.

:pray:

[formergothardite]

He stepped in front of cars going 50 miles an hour putting himself and other people in danger? And this is supposed to be a sign of a wise leader?

I know no famous people but I haven't been to his blog and haven't done anything illegal so I'm not afraid of Cabinet Boy or his lawyer.

[chaotic life]

I have very few claims to fame. However, one of my brothers sang at a Presidential innaguration. Another brother is a professional althete with a Wiki page and everything. I'm 100% certain that in a display of agility, strength and speed that my brother could run circles around Wardrobe malfunction and his so called bull wrastlin.

Other than that, I did once do the Nashville Zoo playing hopscotch with Amy Grant and Vince Gill. It only got embarrassing when my precious six year old strruck up a conversation about the bonoboos and their sex habits with Amy Grant and then immediately launched into a song I had sung her to go to sleep the night before....Angels Watching Over Me. I didn't even explain that my poor kid had NO idea who she was and NO idea she was signing one of her classic songs to her.

[usmcmom]

I've been following this thread pretty closely and don't recall this being mentioned; so if it has, I apologize. I read the first of Cabinet Man's blog posts and it referred to his reason for starting the blog. It seems it all started when he did a guest post on another blog and that post generated such a flood of comments and such controversy that the author ended up taking it down. Here is the post in which she (the original blogger) announces her decision to remove his post:

peacefulwife.com/2014/05/27/a-few-clarifications/

Here is what might be the original post, but with very few comments. It is just as disturbing as you might expect, with the way he goes on and on about how his wife just needed to give him sex and respect. Sex and respect. She just couldn't comprehend how important sex was to him. It's rather sad and disgusting.

peacefulwife.com/2013/03/03/from-the-thankful-husband/

Again, my apologies if this has been talked about already. Just thought it was interesting to make those connections.

[littlemommy]

From the comments on those posts:

You dismissed those that disagreed with you. But you glowed in any support you got. In fact, you dismissed dissenters by using relational identity statements like: they did not know God like you do, the message was too hard to hear, they are tainted by the modern church or feminists or they don’t understand what’s in their bibles. And you weren’t the only one doing it in all fairness. But you spurred it. At that point, whether you realize it or not, it became less about Godly marriages and the topic and more about your ego (in my opinion). And I don’t think you intended that to happen but you did not stop it either.

Sounds like some of those readers had your number as well. This lady hit the nail on the head.

[salex]

I suspect that his "attorney on retainer" is one of those prepaid legal companies. OR, like me, he has a business attorney who is part of a firm that he can call about pretty much anything (although, ours is not "on retainer" we just get billed by the hour.)

Any attorney out there, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I never thought a retainer paid for just what ever case that comes into my life, but is paid up front to help assure that the attorney will work with me for the duration of a specific case.

[Tiger Lily]

I've been following this thread pretty closely and don't recall this being mentioned; so if it has, I apologize. I read the first of Cabinet Man's blog posts and it referred to his reason for starting the blog. It seems it all started when he did a guest post on another blog and that post generated such a flood of comments and such controversy that the author ended up taking it down. Here is the post in which she (the original blogger) announces her decision to remove his post:

peacefulwife.com/2014/05/27/a-few-clarifications/

Here is what might be the original post, but with very few comments. It is just as disturbing as you might expect, with the way he goes on and on about how his wife just needed to give him sex and respect. Sex and respect. She just couldn't comprehend how important sex was to him. It's rather sad and disgusting.

peacefulwife.com/2013/03/03/from-the-thankful-husband/

Again, my apologies if this has been talked about already. Just thought it was interesting to make those connections.

This sounds very much like other comments he has made. One especially disturbed me. CM was describing how much he loved his kids and would die for them. The only thing he loved more was his wife and sex with his wife. And yes, he described it exactly that way. Now don't get me wrong, I love sex just as much as anyone else and I love my husband very much, however, if I felt he loved sex with me more than he loved my companionship or just ME because of who I am, I wouldn't be happy about that AT ALL. In fact, I'd be devastated. It also seems to me that any husband (not just CM) who is always demanding sex is missing out on what it's like to be desired in return and his wife is missing out on experiencing her own desire since it wouldn't be left up to her. Make sense?

[Jasmar]

Maybe his wife should prayerfully consider isolating him in punishment till this madness passes.

:pray:

You definitely win. :clap:

[Micah]

Heh, I've wrestled bulls and won. And I'm female.

Admittedly they were small bulls, but they were definitely of bovine extraction and in possession of testicles, so....

[jerkit]

Cabinet woman was maaaaaad at us in the comments. Even called us bitches.

[samurai_sarah]

Cabinet woman was maaaaaad at us in the comments. Even called us bitches.

No need to flatter me, but thanks. :D

[apple1]

I'm with those who think this creep is actually a fake.

But I have to say - I keep coming back and reading this thread. I stand in awe of FJers creativity. Every time I read a new iteration of CM's name, I laugh out loud. You guys are great. :)

[docmom]

My brother once shook Jimmy Carter's hand! Can I be a spechsul snowflake too? That's how it works, right?

OMG, Viola, my sister once shook hands with Jimmy Carter! Does that mean we're related? With two of us being close to JC, Depository Dick doesn't stand a chance.

[salex]

Cabinet woman was maaaaaad at us in the comments. Even called us bitches.

She knows where her bread is buttered.

[Koala]

If you got a beef with the Alexander’s this is not the place for it. I will not tell you again Charlie. If you do it again, I will delete every single one of your messages. I don’t mind disagreement with me but the Alexander’s are off limits here. Clear?

The Alexanders are off limits because their beliefs don't withstand disagreement. Lori doesn't go anywhere her delete finger doesn't extend for fear that those who disagree with "her message" will leave it lying in shreds around her.

I can't imagine being so unsure of myself that I had to silence anyone who dared question or disagree with me.

[jerkit]

The Alexanders are off limits because their beliefs don't withstand disagreement. Lori doesn't go anywhere her delete finger doesn't extend for fear that those who disagree with "her message" with leaving it lying in shreds around her.

I can't imagine being so unsure of myself that I had to silence anyone who dared question or disagree with me.

I asked Ken directly about my banishment. I might be inching towards being banned on two fundie blogs.

Who knew little ol' me could be so contentious. I'm actually quite a fun person :)

[chaotic life]

Yes, his wifey was quite mad at us in the comments. I am loathe to speak negatively of an abuse victim simply because they live in a place where they have not realized what they endure is abuse yet. However, her anger centers on the logical fallacy in which she has concluded that the only POSSIBLE way she could be an abuse victim and not realize it is that she is simply too stupid to understand--ergo we are calling her a stupid idiot.

This is quite incorrect. The entire point of Battered Wives Syndrome and Stockholm Syndrome is that through persistent gaslighting, the abuser warps the victims perception of reality so that they cannot SEE reality in the same way those outside the situation can see it. Perfectly reasonable and intelligent individuals become abuse victims.

My own father was an abuse victim for 38 YEARS. He did not see it until AFTER she spent his entire inheritance and left him, in fact. No one with breathe in their body would call my father stupid or ignorant. He holds multiple Masters degrees, a PhD and is a Dept Chair for a liberal arts college. YET, she gaslighted and manipulated his loyal personality and his religious conviction that divorce was always wrong to mold him into a perfect victim for his entire adult life. Getting divorced and realizing what the world was really like, and what she had really done was like a new birth to him. Remarrying a wonderful woman five years later was what finally helped him fully grasp how awful the abuse he lived in for so long was.

Intelligence and being an abuse victim are not mutually exclusive. Thus, Wardrobe Wanker's wife has misplaced her anger and in fact her response is pretty classic for an abuse victim to have before they are ready to see the abuse.

[Koala]

Person claiming to be Storage Sociopath's wife:

It’s not really about women’s rights or protection, or whatever you want to call it. It’s just about man hating and being bitchy.

Now keep in mind, Lori is knee deep in the comments where we've just been described as "bitchy".

Ken describing Lori:

She is almost puritanical about what she watches and sees.

Remember, what she sees as her purpose and it is not to entertain a bunch of objectionable ideas and foul language but "to train the younger women to love their husbands and be keepers at home."

Wrong again... Lori chooses not to read your trash on this forum. Clean it up and maybe she and others can come visit. You can't throw cussing and profanity on a forum and expect others to jump in the FJ gutter with you.

Ken pointing out our "foul language" again...funny he didn't utter a peep to Mrs. Storage Sociopath:

so perhaps some of you foul language and the kind hearted here can help me see what you ate seeing and over time her posts can be more effective and less offensive

(yes, that's a copy and paste of what he said...makes no damn sense, but this is Ken we're dealing with.)

And not to point it out again, but fairly recently, "puritanical" Lori quoted a man on her blog referring to women as "bitches".

[Palimpsest]

I'm with those who think this creep is actually a fake.

But I have to say - I keep coming back and reading this thread. I stand in awe of FJers creativity. Every time I read a new iteration of CM's name, I laugh out loud. You guys are great. :)

ITA with the names!

I've come to the conclusion that CM might be real but Mrs. Cabinet Man (if he ever had a wife) left his sorry behind years ago. He's just describing his perfect fantasy wife, faking her comments and FB page, and yanking our collective chains at FJ.

The perfect wife for Wardrobe Wanker:

[bBvideo 560,340:3jgudixk]

[/bBvideo]

I love Tim Minchin!

[Firiel]

Yes, his wifey was quite mad at us in the comments. I am loathe to speak negatively of an abuse victim simply because they live in a place where they have not realized what they endure is abuse yet. However, her anger centers on the logical fallacy in which she has concluded that the only POSSIBLE way she could be an abuse victim and not realize it is that she is simply too stupid to understand--ergo we are calling her a stupid idiot.

This is quite incorrect. The entire point of Battered Wives Syndrome and Stockholm Syndrome is that through persistent gaslighting, the abuser warps the victims perception of reality so that they cannot SEE reality in the same way those outside the situation can see it. Perfectly reasonable and intelligent individuals become abuse victims.

My own father was an abuse victim for 38 YEARS. He did not see it until AFTER she spent his entire inheritance and left him, in fact. No one with breathe in their body would call my father stupid or ignorant. He holds multiple Masters degrees, a PhD and is a Dept Chair for a liberal arts college. YET, she gaslighted and manipulated his loyal personality and his religious conviction that divorce was always wrong to mold him into a perfect victim for his entire adult life. Getting divorced and realizing what the world was really like, and what she had really done was like a new birth to him. Remarrying a wonderful woman five years later was what finally helped him fully grasp how awful the abuse he lived in for so long was.

Intelligence and being an abuse victim are not mutually exclusive. Thus, Wardrobe Wanker's wife has misplaced her anger and in fact her response is pretty classic for an abuse victim to have before they are ready to see the abuse.

Yeah, that's what I noticed too. We may think she is an abuse victim, but that doesn't mean we think she is stupid. It actually makes me wonder if she looks at other women who are being abused and thinks how stupid they are. :( Or if that belief that abuse victims are stupid keeps her from examining her own situation.

I know that when I started examining the possibility of emotional abuse in my own failed marriage (which I still can never really "own"-- some days, I'm pretty sure I was emotionally abused, other days, I'm loathe to make that claim), I felt really, really stupid... looking back, I was able to see red flags and warning signs. I was able to see the little lies he'd told. Especially in regards to his cheating, I didn't know how I didn't grasp it sooner. I just felt dumb. It wasn't until someone who had been through something similar told me that I wasn't dumb, I had just trusted him 100%, and that trusting someone that much is a pretty common (and arguably important) trait in long-term relationships that I finally started to move past that.

[polecat]

Yes, his wifey was quite mad at us in the comments. I am loathe to speak negatively of an abuse victim simply because they live in a place where they have not realized what they endure is abuse yet. However, her anger centers on the logical fallacy in which she has concluded that the only POSSIBLE way she could be an abuse victim and not realize it is that she is simply too stupid to understand--ergo we are calling her a stupid idiot.

This is quite incorrect. The entire point of Battered Wives Syndrome and Stockholm Syndrome is that through persistent gaslighting, the abuser warps the victims perception of reality so that they cannot SEE reality in the same way those outside the situation can see it. Perfectly reasonable and intelligent individuals become abuse victims.

My own father was an abuse victim for 38 YEARS. He did not see it until AFTER she spent his entire inheritance and left him, in fact. No one with breathe in their body would call my father stupid or ignorant. He holds multiple Masters degrees, a PhD and is a Dept Chair for a liberal arts college. YET, she gaslighted and manipulated his loyal personality and his religious conviction that divorce was always wrong to mold him into a perfect victim for his entire adult life. Getting divorced and realizing what the world was really like, and what she had really done was like a new birth to him. Remarrying a wonderful woman five years later was what finally helped him fully grasp how awful the abuse he lived in for so long was.

Intelligence and being an abuse victim are not mutually exclusive. Thus, Wardrobe Wanker's wife has misplaced her anger and in fact her response is pretty classic for an abuse victim to have before they are ready to see the abuse.

I'm glad your dad took time to heal before getting into another relationship. I have known too many people, including my own dad, who did not and ended up in an equally or more abusive relationship than the last. Something about abuse warps the way we see love, and we have to get to a healthy, positive place before we can see clearly again.

My dad was emotionally and occasionally physically abused for 39 years. He did know it on some level, but I don't think he was fully well aware of the extent of the damage that had been done. After she died, instead of taking time to completely heal and discover how to create a good relationship, he jumped right back into a borderline obsessive relationship with another abuser. She immediately isolated him from his family ("I just feel like you love your daughter more than you love me, and that isn't a healthy foundation for a marriage. I think you need to choose between me and her," which I found tucked into some of the books they'd given me), and we haven't seen hide nor hair of them more than a handful of times in the years since. He even disinherited me in favor of her kids.

Being abused doesn't make you stupid or ignorant (my dad is definitely neither), but it can color your perception of reality. Isolation, control and obsession does NOT equal love. It equals abuse. FJers don't think you are abused because you're submissive. If you two think that submission is the way to go, hey, honey, have at it! FJers think you're abused because your husband has isolated you, cut off your support system, threatened you, manipulated you and gas lighted you. He's used your kids as weapons. THAT, Mrs. Cabinet Woman, is abuse. It is the very definition of abuse. And I'm so sorry you're living it, but I'm even sorrier that your kids are living it because trust me when I say that I know firsthand how severe and how long-lasting the consequences of that can be.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Sadly, he doesn't strike me as a fake.

I think that when he says "I wasn't abusive", he really means, "I never physically beat my wife", and that's it. She may have bought into that narrow definition as well.

A broader definition is:

"Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.†Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb."

from here: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domesti ... ffects.htm

By that definition, the entire blog is pretty much a handbook for how to be an abuser. I'm not guessing at anything going on behind the scenes - I'm summarizing their own words. She clearly wanted to leave and get a divorce. She was also suicidal to the point that she had made actual plans to kill herself. He describes her as being abusive and out of control. Oddly, in his descriptions of her past behavior, he makes the fact that she wanted some control of their sex life sound far worse than the fact that she allegedly attacked him physically. He goes out of his way to declare his undying love for his wife, whom he describes as the greatest woman ever except for the fact that she was an abusive psycho, and says that he is so dedicated that he would do anything including laying down his life for her - except allow her an equal say in the marriage or the option of refusing sex when she doesn't feel like it. She says that part of her decision to remain in the marriage was caused by the realization that he would never give up control over her even if she divorced him. Anyway, he decided that the ideal way to deal with a wife that he described as abusive, prone to violent outbursts and suicidal was to isolate her on a remote, off-the-grid property, tell her who she could and could not speak with, and tell her to stay at home and home school their children. Now, he's telling other men to take control at home, totally reject the idea that a wife is an equal partner in the marriage who is entitled to an equal say, and tell their wives that they are not allowed to work, that they need to home school the kids, that the husband will use corporal punishment if he wants to even if the wife disagrees with it, and that the wife is required to have sex (and at least fake enjoyment) whenever the husband wants. If she doesn't any, he should threaten to kick her out with no kids and no support.

[polecat]

From HelpGuide.org -- ways abusers manipulate.

• Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.

• Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.

• Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.

• Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.

• Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.

• Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

~~helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Mrs. Cabinet, every one of these can be ticked off re: your relationship and according to your husband's own words. He has humiliated you and called you crazy, he isolated you, he intimidated you and threatened to take away your kids and he denies that any of it is his fault and the blame is all yours because you were crazy. You deserve better. You deserve to be loved and to be able to love freely in return. What he is doing may feel like love, but it is not. Love uplifts you, it is patient, kind, is not provoked, etc. He. Does. Not. Love. You.