Lori Alexander: An FJ wannabe

[2xx1xy1JD]

When I first saw Lori's post today, I assumed that it would be about the fire fighters. You know what? If it has been about emergency responders, even with a heading like "We NEED Men in Emergency Situations", I may have passed on snarking today, since they are risking their lives and the majority are likely men.

But no, this isn't about needing men to actually fight the fires. It's about needing men to tell us to pack and evacuate, because us women will just stop being rational in emergencies.

To give Lori's son and son-in-law some credit, I'm sure it's quite possible that they know Lori well enough to realize that she's no good in a crisis, and that someone actually does need to calm her down. Lori may not think that she's emotional, but she's not too rational either.

Lori then takes this experience as firm proof that all women are incapable of dealing with emergencies and would instantly fall to pieces without men telling them what to do. Of course, her own daughter-in-law managed to be completely packed up and ready when Ryan came home, despite the fact that she's got 2 really young children. Apparently, everything thought about going to Lori's first, and left Erin to manage on her own.

[Loveday]

When I first saw Lori's post today, I assumed that it would be about the fire fighters. You know what? If it has been about emergency responders, even with a heading like "We NEED Men in Emergency Situations", I may have passed on snarking today, since they are risking their lives and the majority are likely men.

But no, this isn't about needing men to actually fight the fires. It's about needing men to tell us to pack and evacuate, because us women will just stop being rational in emergencies.

To give Lori's son and son-in-law some credit, I'm sure it's quite possible that they know Lori well enough to realize that she's no good in a crisis, and that someone actually does need to calm her down. Lori may not think that she's emotional, but she's not too rational either.

Lori then takes this experience as firm proof that all women are incapable of dealing with emergencies and would instantly fall to pieces without men telling them what to do. Of course, her own daughter-in-law managed to be completely packed up and ready when Ryan came home, despite the fact that she's got 2 really young children. Apparently, everything thought about going to Lori's first, and left Erin to manage on her own.

I haven't even finished reading Lori's latest post, and I'm sitting here in utter disbelief that Lori and Ken don't seem to have any sort of emergency plan in place. :shock: California is notorious for raging wildfires, especially in their general area. I just can't believe they never took care of this sort of thing ahead of time, especially THIS time, when it was already so close to where they live. If I lived where they live, you can be damned sure I'd have an emergency kit full of basic necessities already put together in a safe place, ready to throw into the car. I'd have a box of important papers (or copies thereof) ready to go at a moment's notice, likewise with a box full of irreplaceables--family photos, home videos of my children, etc. I'm not saying I wouldn't go into a sort of panic mode, because you never know how you might react in a situation like this, but at least I'd have the basics covered before it got to that point.

[usmcmom]

When I first saw Lori's post today, I assumed that it would be about the fire fighters. You know what? If it has been about emergency responders, even with a heading like "We NEED Men in Emergency Situations", I may have passed on snarking today, since they are risking their lives and the majority are likely men.

But no, this isn't about needing men to actually fight the fires. It's about needing men to tell us to pack and evacuate, because us women will just stop being rational in emergencies.

To give Lori's son and son-in-law some credit, I'm sure it's quite possible that they know Lori well enough to realize that she's no good in a crisis, and that someone actually does need to calm her down. Lori may not think that she's emotional, but she's not too rational either.

Lori then takes this experience as firm proof that all women are incapable of dealing with emergencies and would instantly fall to pieces without men telling them what to do. Of course, her own daughter-in-law managed to be completely packed up and ready when Ryan came home, despite the fact that she's got 2 really young children. Apparently, everything thought about going to Lori's first, and left Erin to manage on her own.

Are there "Stages of Lori Alexander"? Because this post moved me past the anger phase. I don't know what's next - acceptance? Sadness? I finally realized that this woman is beyond reason and really just might be....well....stupid.

You know, now that I think about it; wouldn't an "older, wiser" woman have calmly picked up the phone and called her daughter and daughter-in-law to check on them? Maybe give a few suggestions about what they should be doing? I have a feeling the young women in her family learned a long time ago that Lori is not the one to whom they should turn in an emergency. Way to be a mentor, Lori.

[treehugger]

I grew up in Guatemala (which isn't exactly the safest place in the world - especially since when I was growing up the civil war was still going on, so it wasn't just the hurricanes and floods we had to worry about). Even as children we knew the safety plan. We each had one box of photos and "treasures" that was ready to be picked up and taken with at a moments notice. To this day I still plan for the unforeseen emergency (I may err a tad on the paranoid side 8-) ), and we live in a perfectly safe part of a perfectly safe country. I can't imagine not having a plan and living somewhere where natural disasters actually do occur on a regular basis.

[salex]

Lori said:]

I am not an emotional type woman. I never have been. I wrote about it in a post recently. There are many people out there who are not the touchy and feely type. We don't make decisions based upon our emotions or our feelings usually.

What does Lori base her decisions on? From what I can tell, she bases them on "what is best for me" Which is why her kids werelocked sent to their rooms quite a lot during their childhood, why she changed to submissive wife when Ken said who knows what we'll do when the kids are gone and why she married someone whose deeply held religious beliefs disallow divorce.

Lori also said.

I have also written before that Ken and I argued a lot before married, we got engaged, and it went downhill from there but we got married anyways. I believe I truly "fell in love" {whatever that really means} with Ken after we were married and I had the security of marriage. {It still was not the tingly, seeing stars type of love...never felt that with anyone. It just isn't my personality.}

This again goes to the WHY THE HELL did these people get married? I always wanted to ask Ken if she got knocked up (or said she was) and so he married her, or if they had sex and his religion mandated they marry. Because honestly, why in the hell would anyone marry a person they fight with all the time? I understand her not feeling all tingly. I was like that with several guys I dated -- but I certainly didn't marry them. I had rules for myself to prevent being a stupid girl about falling in love too fast-- and if she is still foggy about if she "fell in love" with Ken, based on observation about how they describe their relationship in the past and today.... she does not and never has loved Ken, but might find what he provides her (income, nice house, no expectations of her being a decent person to him or the kids for decades) quite attractive. Where else can you be paid for being an utter bitch to those you love?

Lori

I married Ken because he had all the qualities I wanted in a spouse. Yes, I was very attracted to him so with all of this, I made the decision that he was the man I wanted to marry

.

And I'll say I did something similar. While I had an immediate intellectual and physical attraction to Mr. Salex, and married him months after meeting him, I still analyzed his qualities--honestly, dependability, ambition, hobbies, interests, beliefs, if his "consciousness was raised" and, as bad as it sounds, earning potential. I was not planning to live my life in a pop up trailer or some backwoods mobile home with no plumbing.

So how is her being very attracted to Ken which I thought more than once she'd said she wasn't, really, different from how most people choose a mate?-- other than not being in love with him, which to me is not just dishonest, but contributed to their decades of misery. I think she loved his earning potential and didn't want to graduate college without a fiancé.

Lori

Let me ask you a question, Jilly. What is being "in love" mean to you? I love God very much but it has nothing whatsoever to do with feelings but a decision I made long ago to live my life for Him.

So, she does in fact confuse duty or fear of hell with love? Maybe some kind of loyalty, though how she treated Ken has always seemed disloyal to me. Being in love is not easy to describe, but it would be about the opposite of how she describes her life with Ken, both before and after submission.

Choosing to live for GOd in no way means you love God, (and I have serious doubts how a human can love a deity--wasn't that why Jesus was put in place, as a human version was comprehend-able. and Choosing to live with and later fore Ken is not idicative of her loving him.

I have pitied Ken for being stuck with Lori, but find him to be santimonious and sexist so I suspect they form a perfect little miserable couple.

I also pity his son in law and son for being in business with him. Based on observation and personal experience-- never go into business with family.... and especially with controlling patriarchs!.

[usmcmom]

And another thing...why did Ken go golfing while wild fires were raging so close to his home? Surely they know by now how the situation could have changed at a moment's notice. If we could see fires burning all around our house and I saw my husband pack up his golf clubs to leave for the day (which, my husband would never do, but...) I'd say something like "Okay, but when you come back, bring a good lawyer...love you."

[Loveday]

Interesting. Someone posted almost exactly what I posted here, about preparing ahead of time for the next emergency, except that it was a lot nicer, and shorter, than my comment. Very reasonable, sympathetic, and respectful. But now it's gone. And yet, as of this moment, a long-ish post 'respectfully' disagreeing with her about men being better in emergencies is still there. :?

[salex]

I skimmed part of it.

Lori would be shocked, perhaps at how many women have roles in emergency management. Across the country, from volunteer groups to city, county and state emergency management offices and FEMA and other national organizations. From Dispatchers to the people organizing the shelters after an event, and coordinating regional response, there are a lot of women!

I truly think her brain tumor is triggering her to become even more bizarre in her belief that all women are like her.... lazy, manipulative and not too smart.

[Phoebe]

Interesting. Someone posted almost exactly what I posted here, about preparing ahead of time for the next emergency, except that it was a lot nicer, and shorter, than my comment. Very reasonable, sympathetic, and respectful. But now it's gone. And yet, as of this moment, a long-ish post 'respectfully' disagreeing with her about men being better in emergencies is still there. :?

Oh, I am certain my post respectfully disagreeing with her will be deleted soon, Lori just needs to catch up with my long-windedness. ;)

[polecat]

She's quite the selfish bitch, isn't she? Not only does she completely lose her head in a potential emergency, but she drags her son-in-law away from her own daughter and grandchildren to come "rescue" her because she's completely incompetent and incapable of performing even the most basic functions of life.

This woman revolts me. My husband worked odd shifts for the better part of our marriage and was involved in the emergency services. He'd have to leave home with a moment's notice (even left us standing in the grocery once, me with three small kids under four at the time). You know what I did? I pulled my shit together and did what needed to be done. I had no man upon whom to rely, but then again, I didn't need one. My husband married a woman who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and the kids when needed.

My husband, as a first responder, is still likely to get called with a moment's notice. We live on a major fault line AND get tornadoes. And you know what I'm going to do? Well, I'm sure as hell not going to curl up into a whiny little ball or pull someone else's husband/ father away from them to come rescue me. I'm going to pull myself together and do whatever needs to be done to protect my kids and myself.

You know who Lori's pathetic, ungrateful, bitchy ass needs to be thankful for? First responders like my husband who leave their own families to go protect/rescue her useless self. But does she? No.

[usmcmom]

Oh, I am certain my post respectfully disagreeing with her will be deleted soon, Lori just needs to catch up with my long-windedness. ;)

Was that you?!? :lol: I saved your comment, fully expecting her to delete it. I'm happy to copy it on here if it disappears over there. Or just keep re-posting it there and drive her crazy all day.

[polecat]

And another thing...why did Ken go golfing while wild fires were raging so close to his home? Surely they know by now how the situation could have changed at a moment's notice. If we could see fires burning all around our house and I saw my husband pack up his golf clubs to leave for the day (which, my husband would never do, but...) I'd say something like "Okay, but when you come back, bring a good lawyer...love you."

Because he is as stupid and self-absorbed as she is.

[usmcmom]

She's quite the selfish bitch, isn't she? Not only does she completely lose her head in a potential emergency, but she drags her son-in-law away from her own daughter and grandchildren to come "rescue" her because she's completely incompetent and incapable of performing even the most basic functions of life.

This woman revolts me. My husband worked odd shifts for the better part of our marriage and was involved in the emergency services. He'd have to leave home with a moment's notice (even left us standing in the grocery once, me with three small kids under four at the time). You know what I did? I pulled my shit together and did what needed to be done. I had no man upon whom to rely, but then again, I didn't need one. My husband married a woman who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and the kids when needed.

My husband, as a first responder, is still likely to get called with a moment's notice. We live on a major fault line AND get tornadoes. And you know what I'm going to do? Well, I'm sure as hell not going to curl up into a whiny little ball or pull someone else's husband/ father away from them to come rescue me. I'm going to pull myself together and do whatever needs to be done to protect my kids and myself.

You know who Lori's pathetic, ungrateful, bitchy ass needs to be thankful for? First responders like my husband who leave their own families to go protect/rescue her useless self. But does she? No.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Please thank your husband for his service. And THANK YOU for your service too.

[Loveday]

Was that you?!? :lol: I saved your comment, fully expecting her to delete it. I'm happy to copy it on here if it disappears over there. Or just keep re-posting it there and drive her crazy all day.

I saved it, too! I just wish I'd had the forethought to save the other one, but honestly, it was so ridiculously benign, it just didn't cross my mind that she'd zap it!

[Loveday]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Please thank your husband for his service. And THANK YOU for your service too.

:clap:

[Phoebe]

Was that you?!? :lol: I saved your comment, fully expecting her to delete it. I'm happy to copy it on here if it disappears over there. Or just keep re-posting it there and drive her crazy all day.

Yep, that was me! I chose to discuss first-line emergency management personnel because those are the folks Lori is likely to be thinking of; I was concerned that discussing logistics and resource management, as well as OMG GOVMINT emergency agencies may derail the conversation...Lori being a non-intellectual and all.

EDITED: Dang it! I forgot to remind her that SAHMs need to not panic in emergencies just as much as anyone, since a SAHM will most likely be the first person on scene at a child's emergency, whether medical or otherwise. Could someone please mention that to Lori? Since I publicly disagreed with her, she's likely to automatically delete anything else I post.

[Loveday]

Margot, your comment is still there, and someone else has also disagreed with Lori:

Since my husband was in the military for 27 years and very rarely around for me to rely on, I, too, must disagree. I think you do a disservice to the many emergency workers, women whose husbands are disabled and can't lead, and women like me, who have no choice but to "keep calm and carry on" in the face of crisis situations. In my own instance, I had to get through disasters at home (we, too, have severe wildfires but also floods, tornados, and four foot snowfalls) while being lonely and worried about my husband, who was frequently in real danger all around the world. Women are just as capable to handle issues, Lori, whether we are forced into them or even because some women, especially those in emergency services, thrive on them (and thank God they do!!)

I never knew just how strong I could be until 9/11, and for nearly a decade after that, when I lived in a state of constant anxiety. In the end. I consider them my finest years. My husband could focus on what he needed to, because he knew I had things under control at home. That is critical for service members, for their own and ultimately all of our security, and my huband still frequently sees something around the house or yard that I did then, and thanks me for it, often giving me credit in front of others and saying how very proud he is of me.

My husband is retired now, and around all of the time for the first time in our marriage, and I read your blog for encouragement in how to be a submissive wife. I never had to be before; in fact I had to be strong and self-reliant. So while I accept much of what you say as the standard in biblical marriage, I find this post to be out of line.

Either your post and this one (Jillian is the commenter) are going to be blasted into oblivion very soon, or Lori is going to send Ken galloping in on his white horse to defend her. :roll:

[usmcmom]

Yep, that was me! I chose to discuss first-line emergency management personnel because those are the folks Lori is likely to be thinking of; I was concerned that discussing logistics and resource management, as well as OMG GOVMINT emergency agencies may derail the conversation...Lori being a non-intellectual and al

EDITED: Dang it! I forgot to remind her that SAHMs need to not panic in emergencies just as much as anyone, since a SAHM will most likely be the first person on scene at a child's emergency, whether medical or otherwise. Could someone please mention that to Lori? Since I publicly disagreed with her, she's likely to automatically delete anything else I post.

Looks like Mary Esther has taken care of that. I hope she lets that comment stay. Mary Esther seems like a really calm and wise mommy.

[HoneyBunny]

Margot, your comment is still there, and someone else has also disagreed with Lori:

Since my husband was in the military for 27 years and very rarely around for me to rely on, I, too, must disagree. I think you do a disservice to the many emergency workers, women whose husbands are disabled and can't lead, and women like me, who have no choice but to "keep calm and carry on" in the face of crisis situations. In my own instance, I had to get through disasters at home (we, too, have severe wildfires but also floods, tornados, and four foot snowfalls) while being lonely and worried about my husband, who was frequently in real danger all around the world. Women are just as capable to handle issues, Lori, whether we are forced into them or even because some women, especially those in emergency services, thrive on them (and thank God they do!!)

I never knew just how strong I could be until 9/11, and for nearly a decade after that, when I lived in a state of constant anxiety. In the end. I consider them my finest years. My husband could focus on what he needed to, because he knew I had things under control at home. That is critical for service members, for their own and ultimately all of our security, and my huband still frequently sees something around the house or yard that I did then, and thanks me for it, often giving me credit in front of others and saying how very proud he is of me.

My husband is retired now, and around all of the time for the first time in our marriage, and I read your blog for encouragement in how to be a submissive wife. I never had to be before; in fact I had to be strong and self-reliant. So while I accept much of what you say as the standard in biblical marriage, I find this post to be out of line.

Either your post and this one (Jillian is the commenter) are going to be blasted into oblivion very soon, or Lori is going to send Ken galloping in on his white horse to defend her. :roll:

Thank you for saving this. I wrote it on my iPad and that kind of stuff is harder to do, and by the time I get to my laptop, it will no doubt be gone. I'll be on the lookout for a jackass on a large white horse to come charging up behind me. Oh, and the submissive part? It just sounded better than, "I read your blog for snark-worthy FJ material". But the rest of it is 100% true. That woman really has been able to live a diva existence, hasn't she?? She's clueless.

[Phoebe]

Margot, your comment is still there, and someone else has also disagreed with Lori:

Since my husband was in the military for 27 years and very rarely around for me to rely on, I, too, must disagree. I think you do a disservice to the many emergency workers, women whose husbands are disabled and can't lead, and women like me, who have no choice but to "keep calm and carry on" in the face of crisis situations. In my own instance, I had to get through disasters at home (we, too, have severe wildfires but also floods, tornados, and four foot snowfalls) while being lonely and worried about my husband, who was frequently in real danger all around the world. Women are just as capable to handle issues, Lori, whether we are forced into them or even because some women, especially those in emergency services, thrive on them (and thank God they do!!)

I never knew just how strong I could be until 9/11, and for nearly a decade after that, when I lived in a state of constant anxiety. In the end. I consider them my finest years. My husband could focus on what he needed to, because he knew I had things under control at home. That is critical for service members, for their own and ultimately all of our security, and my huband still frequently sees something around the house or yard that I did then, and thanks me for it, often giving me credit in front of others and saying how very proud he is of me.

My husband is retired now, and around all of the time for the first time in our marriage, and I read your blog for encouragement in how to be a submissive wife. I never had to be before; in fact I had to be strong and self-reliant. So while I accept much of what you say as the standard in biblical marriage, I find this post to be out of line.

Either your post and this one (Jillian is the commenter) are going to be blasted into oblivion very soon, or Lori is going to send Ken galloping in on his white horse to defend her. :roll:

My guess is that it'll be both: Ken will jump in, school all of us in his Godly Christian Headshipness, then Lori will delete the post.

Protip: if one uses the phrase "respectfully disagree with", a post may not stay up forever, but it'll stay up longer. Kind of like comment-Viagra, come to think of it. :lol:

[usmcmom]

Dang!! She's fast. Mary Esther's comment is gone. I have no idea what was wrong with that comment. But I think Lori must be moving from her own page to this one just as quickly as I am. Seriously, I have errands to run and can't drag myself away.

Now I have to find another name. She hated me as Lydia and now she hates me as Mary Esther. I'm a little wounded.

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[usmcmom]

Well, I (Mary Esther) used the phrase "I'd like to gently point out..." and DELETE!

[polecat]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Please thank your husband for his service. And THANK YOU for your service too.

Aw, thanks, but I should clarify that he's a volunteer. His full-time work is also occasionally dangerous and unpleasant, but he's not a full-time firefighter, police officer or paramedic, who are facing massive amounts of danger every day and take a lot of abuse from the public.

[usmcmom]

Something tells me Lori might get more than ten minutes tonight - now that she's sufficiently built Ken up as the big brave hero man that we all know he isn't.

[usmcmom]

Aw, thanks, but I should clarify that he's a volunteer. His full-time work is also occasionally dangerous and unpleasant, but he's not a full-time firefighter, police officer or paramedic, who are facing massive amounts of danger every day and take a lot of abuse from the public.

Nope - no difference in my book. Most small towns (like my own) rely heavily on volunteers and we love them.