Why Ken Alexander is really on FJ

[Childless]

It pains me to no end that you all make fun of, castigate, spew profanity at, and try to harm with your Google tactics a woman, yes, one of you, who has lived with chronic illnesses and and two brain tumor operations. A human being who has been through such pain and misery in life, you want to destroy further. Is there no shame anymore?

And to the ones who figured out why I am on FJ... I have a few reasons, not just one. Did you expect me to just ignore the F Bomb with the manipulation of the Google Crawler? Yes, Curious, clear manipulation. I have seen businesses which have been sanctioned by Google for similar behavior.

Oh, and she's never said anything hateful about me, a working, college educated mother in an egalitarian marriage with a stay at home husband. If you spew bile at others, its going to come back on you. You can't, at that point, cry like a big baby and expect others to feel sympathy for you and forgive you. Especially when, the very next day, you go right back to smearing people on your blog again. I don't play those games Ken. I don't fall for blatant manipulation. Lori knows exactly what she is doing and saying and its time for her to stand up and be an adult and accept the consequences of her actions. If she isn't strong enough to do that, I suggest she shut her blog down or make it private.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Fundy Friday came early! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. :popcorn2:

[feministxtian]

Ken,

Your wife has talked shit about women who have careers, women who don't spank their children, women who use birth control and especially women who won't take any of that domineering shit from their husbands. Therefore...if Lori can talk shit about women like me, then I get to talk shit about her.

Both of you are some SERIOUSLY twisted human beings. It is your type that gives Christianity and the God you claim to follow a bad name. You sir are an asshole and your wife is one sick and twisted bitch. You do not represent anything remotely resembling Christianity and I would suggest neither one of you know shit from shinola about much of anything. Lori isn't "wise"...she's marginally wiser than my dumb dog (because he'll step in dogshit and I'm sure Lori would watch where she's going). You, on the other hand, deserve all the consideration that I'd give scraping said dogshit off the bottom of my shoe.

I hope your bullshit blog goes down in FLAMES when the truth of your asshattery is finally all over Google!!!!

[ILoveJellybeans]

Fundy Friday came early! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. :popcorn2:

We have been having a fundie month, instead of just a Friday

[Black Aliss]

Ken, perhaps if Lori used her blog to promote what she loves instead of bashing what she hates. . .

something to think about.

[nokidsmom]

We have been having a fundie month, instead of just a Friday

I remember mentioning that we were rather overdue for a fundie Friday around last month or so. The FSM (or insert your preferred deity name here) does provide, you know.... :lol:

[latraviata]

Ken, perhaps if Lori used her blog to promote what she loves instead of bashing what she hates. . .

something to think about.

She proudly writes about her son force feeding his tiny toddler daughter.

Again I miss the (Grand)motherly pride about the nice and endearing things they do and say as normal mothers and especially grandmothers do.

Nothing about the son having a nice job, or did something special for his young wife, or changed his daughter's diaper, no it is about a stupid power struggle he won from his little girl.

Nothing sweet and amusing about her granddaughter, nothing about her big blue eyes, her cuddles and how wonderful it is to spoil her rotten the prerogatief of every grandparent, no it is about how stubborn (sinful) she is and must be violently taught not to be boss.

The Alexanders apparantly thrive on violence, competition and power.

They are an unpleasant, callous bunch.

[formergothardite]

She is a callous person. She also always chooses the most selfish methods when it comes to dealing with situations. It is hard to get up at night to feed and comfort a baby, so she doesn't. It is hard to work so she uses deceitful methods to get pregnant so she doesn't have to work anymore. Spanking is the laziest form of discipline. It would have been much harder on her to use other means, but she picks the one that requires the least amount of effort from her, hitting. It would take a little effort to show empathy for a cat and figure out why the cat is biting her feet, but her first reaction is to kick it. When being a mentor, it would take more of an effort on her part to form a relationship with the person, learn as much as she can about the situation, and then tailor her advice for that person and that situation. But she chooses the laziest way to give advice, just tell everyone the same thing, assume everyone is in the same situation, and assume all the women and men are exactly the same.

[Ken]

Oh, and she's never said anything hateful about me, a working, college educated mother in an egalitarian marriage with a stay at home husband. If you spew bile at others, its going to come back on you. You can't, at that point, cry like a big baby and expect others to feel sympathy for you and forgive you. Especially when, the very next day, you go right back to smearing people on your blog again. I don't play those games Ken. I don't fall for blatant manipulation. Lori knows exactly what she is doing and saying and its time for her to stand up and be an adult and accept the consequences of her actions. If she isn't strong enough to do that, I suggest she shut her blog down or make it private.

So what you are saying is that you believe in punishing others with your words when you disagree with them?

I am curious how our words are hateful. We have zero issues with you being in an egalitarian marriage, nor with your husband being a stay at home Dad if that's what you choose to do. I actually think that in rare cases the Holy Spirit can lead a godly couple to exactly this form of relationship. It is not the Biblical ideal, but it is ideal for that particular marriage.

There is a big difference between what we believe are ideals for a Biblical marriage, and what an individual Christian or nonchristian chooses to do in living out their marriage. We are against no one, but for what the Bible teaches. Why is that offensive to you for us to teach what we believe the Bible teaches, as it is our conviction only. Others disagree with us... and we are fine with that. I don't get how we are offensive to you because we see marriage a different way than you do? There are lots of tings we probably disagree on, shades of carpet, where to live, how to raise children, but we do not want anyone to do what we believe if they are not comfortable with it or believe in it. We are big proponents of free will... are you willing to allow us free will?

[formergothardite]

Lori is free to give blanket, biased advice based on assumptions(you never did say if a wise mentor gave advice like this), and we are free to say that we think that is dangerous. If she doesn't like people disagreeing with her and saying that they find this unwise and dangerous, she if free to make her blog private.

[Ken]

She is a callous person. She also always chooses the most selfish methods when it comes to dealing with situations. It is hard to get up at night to feed and comfort a baby, so she doesn't. It is hard to work so she uses deceitful methods to get pregnant so she doesn't have to work anymore. Spanking is the laziest form of discipline. It would have been much harder on her to use other means, but she picks the one that requires the least amount of effort from her, hitting. It would take a little effort to show empathy for a cat and figure out why the cat is biting her feet, but her first reaction is to kick it. When being a mentor, it would take more of an effort on her part to form a relationship with the person, learn as much as she can about the situation, and then tailor her advice for that person and that situation. But she chooses the laziest way to give advice, just tell everyone the same thing, assume everyone is in the same situation, and assume all the women and men are exactly the same.

No... wrong again. She gets up the first few months to feed the child, but after a few months she knows what is best for child and mother is to train the child to sleep through the night. All our kids did so with one or two nights of mild crying then back to sleep... presto.. trained to be good sleepers and get on a schedule. If they had kept crying long periods day after day, we might have handled things differently. How will a mother know which children will respond well to a schedule and which will not unless they try letting them cry and sleeping through the night?

We know why the cat bites. It was his way of getting us to give him food when his food is already in the container but he was too lazy to go get it. I am sure you have some magic pill for a cat like that who was abandoned as a kitten and taken in but had a number of abandonment issues.

Laziest way huh? Hours spent each day answering personal emails after getting to know much more about people. One recently who emailed her for help she wrote back to her before giving any advice: "All I can give you is my personal views and you need to seek help from from a local counselor or godly woman." (I believe this is something you wanted her to do?)

The email response came back, "Why don't you want to help me? Is my situation so awful that I offend you?"

My wife's response: "No not at all, but my husband has asked me to make this disclaimer before trying to offer any personal advice."

Now that you know the facts, answer this question. I have tried to work more closely with a few of you to help enlighten the facts and the truth, per your many questions. My sense is that I may be only getting you more irritated and more speculative, which is counter to my purpose here. If you want me to go, I will be happy to answer the many questions on a much more pick and choose basis and spend time looking at other things in the Forum. That has been my desire for some time now, but it is hard to resist setting the record straight one more time.

I apologize if I am becoming more an irritation to you, and will leave you alone. You seem like a good person overall from some of the tidbits you have written about yourself and your marriage. I do not wish to cause any harm or offense. So sorry.

[Ken]

Ken, perhaps if Lori used her blog to promote what she loves instead of bashing what she hates. . .

something to think about.

That is not a bad idea... let me think about that and work on it a bit. It certainly is much better to focus on the positive than be against something.

The problem is that even if she changed her approach overnight, if this group is digging into things that happened 27 years ago when she clearly said she was a difficult wife and manipulative,. and applying that to who she is today, when she is no longer the same person. I doubt that would change many minds here, but it still could be the right ting to do.

More posts on "Why I believe what I believe" instead of bashing feminists... Makes sense.

[milkncookies76]

No... wrong again. She gets up the first few months to feed the child, but after a few months she knows what is best for child and mother is to train the child to sleep through the night. All our kids did so with one or two nights of mild crying then back to sleep... presto.. trained to be good sleepers and get on a schedule. If they had kept crying long periods day after day, we might have handled things differently. How will a mother know which children will respond well to a schedule and which will not unless they try letting them cry and sleeping through the night?

We know why the cat bites. It was his way of getting us to give him food when his food is already in the container but he was too lazy to go get it. I am sure you have some magic pill for a cat like that who was abandoned as a kitten and taken in but had a number of abandonment issues. Yep, the answer to helping an abused kitty is to......abuse it some more. Great advice there.

Laziest way huh? Hours spent each day answering personal emails after getting to know much more about people. One recently who emailed her for help she wrote back to her before giving any advice: "All I can give you is my personal views and you need to seek help from from a local counselor or godly woman." (I believe this is something you wanted her to do?)

The email response came back, "Why don't you want to help me? Is my situation so awful that I offend you?"

My wife's response: "No not at all, but my husband has asked me to make this disclaimer before trying to offer any personal advice."

Now that you know the facts, answer this question. I have tried to work more closely with a few of you to help enlighten the facts and the truth, per your many questions. My sense is that I may be only getting you more irritated and more speculative, which is counter to my purpose here. If you want me to go, I will be happy to answer the many questions on a much more pick and choose basis and spend time looking at other things in the Forum. That has been my desire for some time now, but it is hard to resist setting the record straight one more time.

I apologize if I am becoming more an irritation to you, and will leave you alone. You seem like a good person overall from some of the tidbits you have written about yourself and your marriage. I do not wish to cause any harm or offense. So sorry.

[formergothardite]

My wife's response: "No not at all, but my husband has asked me to make this disclaimer before trying to offer any personal advice

A wise mentor would have not blamed her husband for having to say this because they would know that this a prudent thing to do. Yes, all she can do is give her personal views. Yet again I have to ask, how are we supposed to think she is wise when she does something like that? It is pretty clear from her response that SHE doesn't think she should have to do that, she is only doing it because you told her to. Not exactly a sign of wisdom, is it? A wise person wouln't do this because we want her to do it or because you want her to do it, they would do it because it is a prudent thing to do.

My two questions:

1. Does a wise mentor give blanket, biased advice based on assumptions? (you wrote a lot but never answered)

2. Why did Lori originally delete Happy Wife's comment with two stories of emotional abuse? She also deleted and never returned another comment about a woman who was emotionally abused for 50 years.

[RosyDaisy]

Ken, read this. I know how much my potty mouth offends your delicate sensibilities.

So do I, you motherfucking son of a bitch!

[Koala]

We have zero issues with you being in an egalitarian marriage, nor with your husband being a stay at home Dad if that's what you choose to do.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/12/stay-at-home-dads.html

Lori Alexander:

Gotta love Mark Driscoll! He tells it like it is and I love that. I have been listening to his sermons on Song Of Solomon and at the end of the sermons, he has his wife, Gracie, come on stage and they answer questions from the audience together.

They were asked about stay at home dads. He immediately quoted I Timothy 5:8 ~

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

He believes there should even be church discipline for any able bodied man who does not work hard and provide for their families, unless they are injured or ill. Here are some quotes from that sermon ~

We live in a perverted and stupid culture: hook up, shack up, and break up. Men that act like boys. Do not be conformed to this world! If you aren't providing for your family, you are not a man. Live simply if you have to and do not worry about the status quo.

Moms at home and dads providing for their families produce healthy kids and enduring marriages. The man should be lovingly leading his family, providing and protecting, while the women helps him and is his mate right alongside him. They are equal bearers of God who are different with different roles and tasks.

She is primarily responsible for the home. This safeguards marriages against divorce and is best for children. Women are nurturers and are more keenly aware of their children's needs.

The home must be established according to biblical principles. NOTHING in scripture says women should work outside of the home and men stay at home. You need to go to the culture and find worldly wisdom and examples and then try to sanctify women working while men stay at home.

Moms do best at raising their own children.

He then said he couldn't imagine one of their sons going in flip flops to some day care and spending the entire day there. Gracie became teary-eyed. Mark closed in prayer thanking the Lord for his incredible helpmeet and mother to his children. It was very touching. Watch the last ten minutes if you have the time.

[formergothardite]

That is not a bad idea... let me think about that and work on it a bit. It certainly is much better to focus on the positive than be against something.

The problem is that even if she changed her approach overnight, if this group is digging into things that happened 27 years ago when she clearly said she was a difficult wife and manipulative,. and applying that to who she is today, when she is no longer the same person. I doubt that would change many minds here, but it still could be the right ting to do.

More posts on "Why I believe what I believe" instead of bashing feminists... Makes sense.

I am pretty sure that if tomorrow she stopped giving blanket biased advice that blames the women for marital problems, she stopped bashing working mothers and saying that they don't raise their children, if she stopped bashing feminists, if she stopped bashing stay at home dads, if she stopped posting about force feeding children and hours of spanking, if she stopped treating abuse, both emotional and physical so causally, if she stopped being negative Nancy about anyone who isn't just like her, she would most likely drop off our radar.

Like I said, submission blogs are a dime a dozen. Hers stands out because of how hateful she seems, how extreme she is with her beliefs, how she speaks of people not like her, and how she gives advice. Hooking up with rape advocate SSM didn't do her any favors either.

It isn't that she did those things 27 years ago, it is that she acts so casually about it now.

[formergothardite]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/12/stay-at-home-dads.html

Lori Alexander:

Koala, how dare you quote her blog. :lol:

[milkncookies76]

So what you are saying is that you believe in punishing others with your words when you disagree with them?

I am curious how our words are hateful. We have zero issues with you being in an egalitarian marriage, nor with your husband being a stay at home Dad if that's what you choose to do. I actually think that in rare cases the Holy Spirit can lead a godly couple to exactly this form of relationship. It is not the Biblical ideal, but it is ideal for that particular marriage.

There is a big difference between what we believe are ideals for a Biblical marriage, and what an individual Christian or nonchristian chooses to do in living out their marriage. We are against no one, but for what the Bible teaches. Why is that offensive to you for us to teach what we believe the Bible teaches, as it is our conviction only. Others disagree with us... and we are fine with that. I don't get how we are offensive to you because we see marriage a different way than you do? There are lots of tings we probably disagree on, shades of carpet, where to live, how to raise children, but we do not want anyone to do what we believe if they are not comfortable with it or believe in it. We are big proponents of free will... are you willing to allow us free will?

Ken, you and Lori are no doubt some of the most hateful people I've read about on fj. Your wife endorses the Pearl's book, which encourages parents to spank switch hit their babies. Your wife has encouraged women to stay in emotionally, and even physically abusive relationships. You, no doubt, traumatized your children, based on Lori's lovely little story about how you used to tell them "I will always love you, but I may kick you out of the house," before bed.

Your beliefs are harmful to me, as a woman and lesbian, but they are also harmful innocent children and animals. You and her have earned your title of "monster."

[latraviata]

I am pretty sure that if tomorrow she stopped giving blanket biased advice that blames the women for marital problems, she stopped bashing working mothers and saying that they don't raise their children, if she stopped bashing feminists, if she stopped bashing stay at home dads, if she stopped posting about force feeding children and hours of spanking, if she stopped treating abuse, both emotional and physical so causally, if she stopped being negative Nancy about anyone who isn't just like her, she would most likely drop off our radar.

Like I said, submission blogs are a dime a dozen. Hers stands out because of how hateful she seems, how extreme she is with her beliefs, how she speaks of people not like her, and how she gives advice. Hooking up with rape advocate SSM didn't do her any favors either.

It isn't that she did those things 27 years ago, it is that she acts so casually about it now.

And still talks about if it were a charming little incident.

[Koala]

No... wrong again. She gets up the first few months to feed the child

This is a bold faced lie, and you need to admit that. I have seen Lori admit to sleep training as young as 3 weeks (I am almost certain it was on facebook), but I am limited on what I can view from her history on that particular site. I am not, however, limited as to what I can see on her own site history, and the following are her exact words:

We trained our four children to sleep through the night when they were six weeks old.

(six weeks: also known as NOT a "few months")

crying never hurt anybody

after a few months she knows what is best for child and mother is to train the child to sleep through the night.

What is this knowledge based on, because it sounds to me like she did it for selfish reasons:

Waking up every few hours was taking a toll on my health and my emotions.

This made functioning through the daytime much easier for me

once they were toddlers and older, they had to rest several hours a day...for my sanity!

When warned that this could be a potential health issue, Lori responded:

I don't trust medical professionals much when it comes to child raising

When asked if she got up to check on them if they continued crying Lori responded:

We let them cry until they feel asleep. If you keep consoling them, they will keep crying for more consoling.

[Koala]

Laziest way huh? Hours spent each day answering personal emails after getting to know much more about people. One recently who emailed her for help she wrote back to her before giving any advice: "All I can give you is my personal views and you need to seek help from from a local counselor or godly woman." (I believe this is something you wanted her to do?)

The email response came back, "Why don't you want to help me? Is my situation so awful that I offend you?"

My wife's response: "No not at all, but my husband has asked me to make this disclaimer before trying to offer any personal advice."

Lori need not be afraid to tell people the truth- she is unqualified to be giving marriage and parenting advice, particularly to strangers on the internet. According to Lori herself, she is rather simple minded and has difficulty understanding words sometimes. This makes her a bad candidate to be dispensing advice based on a paragraph or two.

Lori writes:

Lori Alexander

I made it very clear that I am not "pro-abuse" and frankly, you write a bit too intellectually for me. This is why I usually have Ken respond. My posts and thoughts are fairly simple. I am not a highly academic person. I would like to think I am a wise woman and that is all that matters to me. All your interpretations of words confuse me. I do read your responses but I don't always understand the point you are trying to make. I know we agree on some things and disagree on others and that is fine with me. You always write thoughtful disagreements and that is why I publish your comments.

These are not the words of a woman who is able to grasp complex problems. She needs to stick to a "fun hobby" that doesn't have a lasting impact on peoples' lives.

[lipstickgoalie]

Lori need not be afraid to tell people the truth- she is unqualified to be giving marriage and parenting advice, particularly to strangers on the internet. According to Lori herself, she is rather simple minded and has difficulty understanding words sometimes. This makes her a bad candidate to be dispensing advice based on a paragraph or two.

Lori writes:

These are not the words of a woman who is able to grasp complex problems. She needs to stick to a "fun hobby" that doesn't have a lasting impact on peoples' lives.

I would suggest quilting but I don't want to run the chance of running into that bitch at a fabric store.

[mirele]

Ken and Lori are SUCH WHINERS.

For the last 13+ years, the first entry for my legal name on Google has been a website run by Scientologists (at the behest of Scientology) accusing me of being a religious bigot. Back when it went up, I was concerned it might hurt my chances at jobs, etc., so I went with a nickname at work. (Bonus: people can pronounce my nickname, whereas my legal name gets butchered.) Today, given the general opinion people have of Scientology, it looks prescient that I knew the organization was evil back in the 1990s.

But seriously, Lori and Ken, if you're going to play on the Internet, you have to take responsibility for what you're saying. I have known that for nearly two decades, so GET REAL.

[artdecades]

I am not really familiar with Ken and Lori so I went and looked up the force feeding and sleep "training" stuff and wow, Lori Alexander really really is a fucking monster.